Amidst all the issues happening in the world today, from crime to the little problems we are facing in our homes, we are all striving to keep a sane mind regardless of how difficult it appears to be. There is always some form of negativity we are exposed to every day, and we all build coping mechanisms in the process which allow us to live our day to day lives. Today we’ll look at some deep self-reflection questions you can ask yourself to get to know yourself better.
Do you remember the day when you were sitting alone, staring out the window and waiting for the “ding“ of the microwave? When you were lost in your thoughts, asking yourself questions, trying to evaluate and give meaning to everything happening around you?
If yes, then you have had a session of self-reflection.
Self-reflection has proven to be a very effective way for us to evaluate our lives, question our decisions and understand the things that are happening to and around us. It helps us remain connected with ourselves and makes us more powerful and in control of our thoughts.
In every aspect of our lives; physically, socially, mentally and emotionally, we need to undergo self-reflections because it helps us give better meanings to our thoughts and actions. If you are working towards self-improvement, the first step on your list should be self-reflection. (There’s just something cool and mysterious about looking deep within yourself and not just because your therapist said so!)
Take a look at these 20 deep self-reflection questions to ask yourself below:
1. Are you truly living or just existing?
There is a clear difference between living and existing, the former means you are doing what you love and working towards a better version of yourself, while the latter describes you as a person who has lost hope in everything and just takes all the things that life throws at you without fighting back.
Life comes with challenges, but what’s the fun in just sitting back and moping in tears instead of finding ways to surmount these challenges? Now ask yourself, which of these options do you want to settle for? Do you want to be that fun and happy person that people run to, or the person who always sees the glass half empty?
2. What does success mean to you?
To the person next to you, success could mean being able to go on vacations every month or having luxurious cars and houses, and to me it could mean being able to eat my favorite chicken wings every single day without any problem. But to you it might mean attaining the highest educational qualification and speaking at world conferences on topics that would change the world.
Different people define success in different ways, which is why you need to find out what it means to you and work towards achieving it!
3. What is your biggest fear?
Whether or not we admit it, everyone on earth has that one thing that they are afraid of. Have you discovered what your biggest fear is? Until you discover your biggest fear and admit it, you can’t confront it and without confrontation it will continue to haunt you. Fear is what you make of it, so you could decide to overcome it or live in its shadow forever, the choice is yours.
4. How much time do you spend with the people you love the most?
Until you show your family and friends how much you love and cherish them, they really can’t know that you do. And one way to do this is by spending quality and happy time with them. No man or woman will live forever, which is why now that you are alive, you need to show those whom you love how much they mean to you.
And I’m not talking about buying them expensive gifts or anything (but if you’re considering that, I’m available to be spoiled so hit me up), but the simple things like checking up on them and even that random bar of chocolate can put a smile on their faces.
5. Can you boldly voice out your opinions in public?
Public Speaking is one act that a lot of human beings dread so much. According to research, 75% of the population of the world is affected by the fear of public speaking. So many people have allowed their valuable opinions to be silenced because they are afraid of rejection and ridicule.
Now I’m not saying you should go out and become a public speaker. But ask yourself whether you truly allow your opinions to be heard, even by people close to you. Or are you someone who would rather agree with someone simply to avoid conflict or because you’re afraid of being judged if you disagree with them?
Your opinion matters and you shouldn’t be scared to voice it out peacefully. Face your fear of speaking up and take steps to overcome it.
6. Are you spending your time wisely?
Ever heard the saying “time waits for no one”?
That simply means if you don’t do what you should do on time, it will pass you by. You need to learn how to prioritize the most important things you have to do and get them done fast. Cut back from doing unproductive things and focus on the things that are worthwhile.
7. What don’t you like about your life?
No one has a perfect life, no matter how wealthy or beautiful they are. Heck, even the most beautiful girl in the world sometimes has to cover up a zit or two. Identify those things you don’t like about your life and work towards correcting the ones you can correct as soon as possible.
There will always be obstacles, but your job is to surmount them.
8. What actions can you take daily to become a better person?
There is a saying that “Little drops of water make an ocean”, meaning the little steps and actions you take daily are the ones that eventually manifest into mighty things.
Identify those things that will make you a better person and do them consistently, then watch the great turn around it will make in your life.
9. What motivates you the most?
Motivation is what propels us to do better in life and there are certain materials and people we come in contact with that actually serve as a form of motivation for us. In order to excel in anything you set out to do in life, you need to build the right frame of mind towards it.
In your pursuit for motivation, the right thing to do would be to find and consistently stay in contact with the things and people who motivate you.
10. What is standing between you and your main goal?
Until you identify an obstacle, you can’t confront it!
Identify the elements that are standing between you and your main goal, it could be your action, inaction or a person that has made your goal look unfeasible.
Once you have found what the obstacles are, then you can work towards defeating them. Use your obstacles as a road map for achieving your goals.
11. What does love mean to you?
We all perceive love in different forms, this influences how we show it to others and receive it from them (for foodies, just buy them food and they’ll love you forever).
You need to find out what love means to you in order to truly embrace the essence of it.
12. Are you healthy?
Sometimes we get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that we forget about living a healthy lifestyle. We all want to be rich and successful but we forget that if we don’t have good health, we can’t happily spend the money that we made.
Do you eat good food or survive on just junk food?
How often do you drink water or do you prefer processed drinks to natural fluids?
When last did you get a medical check-up, or are you just taking pain relief pills without actually knowing the cause of that persistent headache?
How well do you rest your body and brain?
Do you exercise to keep your body in shape?
Remember, “Good Health is wealth” and a man who is lying on a sick bed cannot make or even think about money.
13. How good is your mental health?
It’s not enough to be physically healthy, your mental health is also very important. The challenges we face in life sometimes get to us and we begin to fall into the world of depression, self-doubt, anger and suicidal thoughts.
In times like this, we have to find a way to be happy regardless of what the situation is, find a trusted person to confide in and unburden your mind. Always remember that it is okay to fall and cry but what matters the most is that you get back up and keep moving on.
14. When last did you lend a helping hand to someone selflessly?
Every day presents us with the opportunity to make a difference in someone’s life, no matter how small the help you are rendering might seem, you might directly or indirectly be saving the person’s life.
Mother Theresa once said, “It’s not how much we give, but how much love we put into giving.” Do you remember the joy and fulfillment you felt the last time you lent a helping hand to someone without expecting something in return? That’s the beauty of helping selflessly.
15. Do you hold a grudge against anyone or yourself?
How do you feel when you see or hear about a person whom you hold a grudge against? Your heart skips right? And definitely not in a good way!
Or are you unable to forgive yourself for that action you took or didn’t take and you always beat yourself up whenever the thought crosses your mind? It is high time you put a stop to it. Until you let go of the past, you can’t see the future. It is important that you let go of that grudge today, forgive that person or yourself and welcome peace into your life.
16. How often do you procrastinate?
How many times have you heard the saying, “Procrastination is the thief of time?” Hundreds of times I’m sure. You’re probably bored of it but guess what…procrastination is the thief of time (you weren’t expecting that, were you?). Truth is, time is a very precious commodity that can’t be bought.
Do what you have to do as soon as possible, do not postpone what you can do today till tomorrow because tomorrow is not even assured. Do away with procrastination and start doing productive things that will push you to a higher level in life.
17. Are you really happy?
Happiness is the true essence of living. An unhappy man can barely accomplish anything in life. Once you find the things that make you happy, stick to them and keep on doing them. Be with the people who make you happy, smile often and live your best life!
18. Do you truly love yourself?
You can’t give what you don’t have, therefore it is impossible to love anyone else if you don’t love yourself. Even the Bible says “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.”
Reflect on how much you love yourself and the regard you have for your own happiness, then learn to love yourself better and watch how your life will take a positive turn.
19. Are your friends truly your friends?
We all have one or two people who stand as friends in our lives, but sometimes these people we think are our friends, smile to our face but say and do terrible things to us as soon as we turn our back.
Sometimes your friends may even lead you to do things you don’t want to, hence the need to know who your friends truly are and choose your company wisely.
20. Do you have regrets?
We all make mistakes, that’s part of what makes us humans. Your mistakes shouldn’t define you, rather you should learn from them and move on.
Don’t let your past mistakes dictate how you should live your life, the consequence of your actions should not make you sad, instead, you should use it as a stepping stone to achieving better things in life. Free your mind from regrets and move on to the next phase.
Give honest answers to these deep self-reflection questions
Now, it’s not enough to just ask yourself these questions, the true essence of it all is to answer the questions that you are reflecting on honestly and work on the areas you need to be better in.
Self-reflection is a form of checking in with yourself and balancing your life, it helps you to work on correcting the things in your life you’re unhappy with, and only then can you add more meaning to your life. The thing about life is…no one’s going to make it out alive. So don’t waste your one chance here!
Remember to share these deep self-reflection questions with others!
If you feel like someone else could benefit by also going through and answering some of these deep self-reflection questions, please take a moment to share it with them.
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