Tag: personal development

20 Deep Self-Reflection Questions To Ask Yourself

Amidst all the issues happening in the world today, from crime to the little problems we are facing in our homes, we are all striving to keep a sane mind regardless of how difficult it appears to be. There is always some form of negativity we are exposed to every day, and we all build coping mechanisms in the process which allow us to live our day to day lives. Today we’ll look at some deep self-reflection questions you can ask yourself to get to know yourself better.

Do you remember the day when you were sitting alone, staring out the window and waiting for the “ding“ of the microwave? When you were lost in your thoughts, asking yourself questions, trying to evaluate and give meaning to everything happening around you?

If yes, then you have had a session of self-reflection.

Self-reflection has proven to be a very effective way for us to evaluate our lives, question our decisions and understand the things that are happening to and around us. It helps us remain connected with ourselves and makes us more powerful and in control of our thoughts.

In every aspect of our lives; physically, socially, mentally and emotionally, we need to undergo self-reflections because it helps us give better meanings to our thoughts and actions. If you are working towards self-improvement, the first step on your list should be self-reflection. (There’s just something cool and mysterious about looking deep within yourself and not just because your therapist said so!)

Take a look at these 20 deep self-reflection questions to ask yourself below:

1. Are you truly living or just existing?

There is a clear difference between living and existing, the former means you are doing what you love and working towards a better version of yourself, while the latter describes you as a person who has lost hope in everything and just takes all the things that life throws at you without fighting back.

Life comes with challenges, but what’s the fun in just sitting back and moping in tears instead of finding ways to surmount these challenges? Now ask yourself, which of these options do you want to settle for? Do you want to be that fun and happy person that people run to, or the person who always sees the glass half empty?

2. What does success mean to you?

To the person next to you, success could mean being able to go on vacations every month or having luxurious cars and houses, and to me it could mean being able to eat my favorite chicken wings every single day without any problem. But to you it might mean attaining the highest educational qualification and speaking at world conferences on topics that would change the world.

Different people define success in different ways, which is why you need to find out what it means to you and work towards achieving it!

3. What is your biggest fear?

Whether or not we admit it, everyone on earth has that one thing that they are afraid of. Have you discovered what your biggest fear is? Until you discover your biggest fear and admit it, you can’t confront it and without confrontation it will continue to haunt you. Fear is what you make of it, so you could decide to overcome it or live in its shadow forever, the choice is yours.

4. How much time do you spend with the people you love the most?

Until you show your family and friends how much you love and cherish them, they really can’t know that you do. And one way to do this is by spending quality and happy time with them. No man or woman will live forever, which is why now that you are alive, you need to show those whom you love how much they mean to you.

And I’m not talking about buying them expensive gifts or anything (but if you’re considering that, I’m available to be spoiled so hit me up), but the simple things like checking up on them and even that random bar of chocolate can put a smile on their faces.

5. Can you boldly voice out your opinions in public?

Public Speaking is one act that a lot of human beings dread so much. According to research, 75% of the population of the world is affected by the fear of public speaking. So many people have allowed their valuable opinions to be silenced because they are afraid of rejection and ridicule.

Now I’m not saying you should go out and become a public speaker. But ask yourself whether you truly allow your opinions to be heard, even by people close to you. Or are you someone who would rather agree with someone simply to avoid conflict or because you’re afraid of being judged if you disagree with them?

Your opinion matters and you shouldn’t be scared to voice it out peacefully. Face your fear of speaking up and take steps to overcome it.

6. Are you spending your time wisely?

Ever heard the saying “time waits for no one”?

That simply means if you don’t do what you should do on time, it will pass you by. You need to learn how to prioritize the most important things you have to do and get them done fast. Cut back from doing unproductive things and focus on the things that are worthwhile.

7. What don’t you like about your life?

No one has a perfect life, no matter how wealthy or beautiful they are. Heck, even the most beautiful girl in the world sometimes has to cover up a zit or two. Identify those things you don’t like about your life and work towards correcting the ones you can correct as soon as possible.

There will always be obstacles, but your job is to surmount them.

8. What actions can you take daily to become a better person?

There is a saying that “Little drops of water make an ocean”, meaning the little steps and actions you take daily are the ones that eventually manifest into mighty things.

Identify those things that will make you a better person and do them consistently, then watch the great turn around it will make in your life.

9. What motivates you the most?

Motivation is what propels us to do better in life and there are certain materials and people we come in contact with that actually serve as a form of motivation for us. In order to excel in anything you set out to do in life, you need to build the right frame of mind towards it.

In your pursuit for motivation, the right thing to do would be to find and consistently stay in contact with the things and people who motivate you.

10. What is standing between you and your main goal?

Until you identify an obstacle, you can’t confront it!

Identify the elements that are standing between you and your main goal, it could be your action, inaction or a person that has made your goal look unfeasible.

Once you have found what the obstacles are, then you can work towards defeating them. Use your obstacles as a road map for achieving your goals.

11. What does love mean to you?

We all perceive love in different forms, this influences how we show it to others and receive it from them (for foodies, just buy them food and they’ll love you forever).

You need to find out what love means to you in order to truly embrace the essence of it.

12. Are you healthy?

Sometimes we get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that we forget about living a healthy lifestyle. We all want to be rich and successful but we forget that if we don’t have good health, we can’t happily spend the money that we made.

Do you eat good food or survive on just junk food?

How often do you drink water or do you prefer processed drinks to natural fluids?

When last did you get a medical check-up, or are you just taking pain relief pills without actually knowing the cause of that persistent headache?

How well do you rest your body and brain?

Do you exercise to keep your body in shape?

Remember, “Good Health is wealth” and a man who is lying on a sick bed cannot make or even think about money.

13. How good is your mental health?

It’s not enough to be physically healthy, your mental health is also very important. The challenges we face in life sometimes get to us and we begin to fall into the world of depression, self-doubt, anger and suicidal thoughts.

In times like this, we have to find a way to be happy regardless of what the situation is, find a trusted person to confide in and unburden your mind. Always remember that it is okay to fall and cry but what matters the most is that you get back up and keep moving on.

14. When last did you lend a helping hand to someone selflessly?

Every day presents us with the opportunity to make a difference in someone’s life, no matter how small the help you are rendering might seem, you might directly or indirectly be saving the person’s life.

Mother Theresa once said, “It’s not how much we give, but how much love we put into giving.” Do you remember the joy and fulfillment you felt the last time you lent a helping hand to someone without expecting something in return? That’s the beauty of helping selflessly.

15. Do you hold a grudge against anyone or yourself?

How do you feel when you see or hear about a person whom you hold a grudge against? Your heart skips right? And definitely not in a good way!

Or are you unable to forgive yourself for that action you took or didn’t take and you always beat yourself up whenever the thought crosses your mind? It is high time you put a stop to it. Until you let go of the past, you can’t see the future. It is important that you let go of that grudge today, forgive that person or yourself and welcome peace into your life.

16. How often do you procrastinate?

How many times have you heard the saying, “Procrastination is the thief of time?” Hundreds of times I’m sure. You’re probably bored of it but guess what…procrastination is the thief of time (you weren’t expecting that, were you?). Truth is, time is a very precious commodity that can’t be bought.

Do what you have to do as soon as possible, do not postpone what you can do today till tomorrow because tomorrow is not even assured. Do away with procrastination and start doing productive things that will push you to a higher level in life.

17. Are you really happy?

Happiness is the true essence of living. An unhappy man can barely accomplish anything in life. Once you find the things that make you happy, stick to them and keep on doing them. Be with the people who make you happy, smile often and live your best life!

18. Do you truly love yourself?

You can’t give what you don’t have, therefore it is impossible to love anyone else if you don’t love yourself. Even the Bible says “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.”

Reflect on how much you love yourself and the regard you have for your own happiness, then learn to love yourself better and watch how your life will take a positive turn.

19. Are your friends truly your friends?

We all have one or two people who stand as friends in our lives, but sometimes these people we think are our friends, smile to our face but say and do terrible things to us as soon as we turn our back.

Sometimes your friends may even lead you to do things you don’t want to, hence the need to know who your friends truly are and choose your company wisely.

20. Do you have regrets?

We all make mistakes, that’s part of what makes us humans. Your mistakes shouldn’t define you, rather you should learn from them and move on.

Don’t let your past mistakes dictate how you should live your life, the consequence of your actions should not make you sad, instead, you should use it as a stepping stone to achieving better things in life. Free your mind from regrets and move on to the next phase.

Give honest answers to these deep self-reflection questions

Now, it’s not enough to just ask yourself these questions, the true essence of it all is to answer the questions that you are reflecting on honestly and work on the areas you need to be better in.

Self-reflection is a form of checking in with yourself and balancing your life, it helps you to work on correcting the things in your life you’re unhappy with, and only then can you add more meaning to your life. The thing about life is…no one’s going to make it out alive. So don’t waste your one chance here!

Remember to share these deep self-reflection questions with others!

If you feel like someone else could benefit by also going through and answering some of these deep self-reflection questions, please take a moment to share it with them.

You can also pin this post to your personal development board on Pinterest for easy access to it later. Also follow my personal development board on Pinterest for more posts and ideas like this.

March 26, 2020
10 Valuable Things You Will Regret Not Doing Sooner
Regret. Seldom is there a more persistent pain than our “if only” memories. It might not be a blazing agony, but this tiny monster claws at the same spot for years. Soon enough, regret sucks the joy from our lives.

Jeepers, that was depressing. Now, here’s the good news. There’s still plenty of things that you can do to prevent regret.

10 Things You Will Regret Not Doing

The following suggestions can also help anyone to deal with any baggage they might already be carrying. Pick a flower, make a cup of tea – and then read this list. Your life is about to get better! Promise.

1. Treat the Passage of Time as a Gift

Here’s the thing. You can fight it, deny it or fear it – but that clock is going to keep on ticking. No matter what we feel or do, time goes by. Growing older and watching things change can be scary. But it’s important to shift the way we look at this. You know, regretting the things one might miss out on because time’s running out. This “future regret” comes with a price – you don’t see the wonderful things you already have in your life right now.

The passage of time doesn’t have to be a fatalistic countdown. It can be a gentle reminder to value what brings happiness in your daily life. More importantly, the things and people that won’t always be there. A few examples are youth, a beloved pet, and our families. Children grow up and fortunes change.

This is a hard one. Most of us look at our age in a negative way. But the outcome is worth the effort. Be kind to yourself as you start looking at the passage of time as a reminder to appreciate what you have now, instead of fearing the future.

The moment you start doing this, the grip of regret weakens. At the same time, joy has more space to blossom. You’ll suddenly start finding happy moments in spades – just by having a conversation with a loved one or even watching your child explore mud!

2. Shake Hands With Discomfort

The Stone Age mind doesn’t like discomfort. Nope. The Stone Age mind wants shelter, safety, snacks, and no conflict. Oh, dear. Modern times slap that part of our brain with so many unwanted signals, it’s no wonder that people are so stressed out. We worry over family and bills, work situations, our weight, and mortgages. Discomfort in different grades, but they’re all unpleasant.

Here’s the thing. Feeling that small twinge of dissatisfaction or fear will always be there. It’s human nature. But such feelings can stop people from chasing their dreams and that’s why it’s so important to put a little distance between yourself and discomfort.

When it comes to doing something important, like taking the next step with one of your goals, chances are that discomfort will loom nearby like a toxic friend. That’s exactly what it is. Our Stone Age brain wants to protect us from risks. It cannot tell the difference between a T-rex chasing you and feeling nervous over starting your own business.

Remind yourself to shelf discomfort in situations where it’s not needed. Your mood will be more focused and positive, and the task at hand might not seem such a mountain.

3. Never Underestimate the Power of Patience

What does patience have to do with regret? Sometimes, a lot. A short fuse or impulsive decision can lead to moments we wish had never happened. Buying the wrong stocks, feeling tired from work and then snapping at one’s spouse or child. Impatience can ruin relationships, finances, and health.

Don’t worry, you don’t have to be a monk with a diploma in Zen. There’s a simple exercise that can save you a world of trouble. In the beginning it’s hard, especially in the heat of the moment. But chin up, the more you remember to do it, the more you’ll remember to do it.

Pause. That’s it. When a toddler smears fish-paste over the carpet, most parents are ready to explode. Pausing between a trigger (that fish-paste is not coming out…) and reacting (yelling so hard that people in Russia can hear you) is what prevents regrets. At that moment, you might realize that toddlers are not adults. They often do things they don’t realize are wrong. You might see the benefits of hiding the fish-paste in the future and not leaving it on the table. You might calmly discuss the no-no with them instead of angrily giving in to a punishment that makes you both feel bad when it’s over.

Pausing gives you the power to choose your best options during volatile moments.

4. Letting Go of Unhappy Memories

The past is a major source of regret. It’s filled with big mistakes, tragedies and the times when other people harmed you. Unhappy memories suck, plain and simple.

To boot, negative emotions are clingy creatures. But here’s the prickly truth – we also cling to them. As painful as these memories are, there’s a tendency to keep vigil over them as if our emotional energy can somehow change something and make it all better. Unfortunately, the past cannot be changed or erased. Pouring emotional energy into such desires only brings fatigue and depression.

That being said, when it comes to the past you can change two things. First, learn all you can from what has happened. This is to prevent it from happening again. Chalk it up as experience. Secondly, you are allowed to disconnect your feelings from a memory. A past event will always be there. The emotions don’t have to be.

5. Tweaking Your Life Plan

A life plan is just a document keeping all your dreams and goals in one place. It also shows the steps you have chosen to realize them.

Some people write their life plan in a journal. Others prefer something like Google Docs. Whether you go old school with paper or use an online file, do whatever feels right for you.

A weekly review is a good idea. Think about it. Seven days bring a heap of chores and challenges. There’s a good chance that they’ll derail the steps that you’ve scheduled for your dreams that week. A review can identify the bruised goals and readjust their steps. This tweaking keeps you on track to living your best life ever.

6. Staying Healthy And Fit

This tip is all over the internet and with good reason. Without your health, life becomes a lot harder. Good health includes eating well, staying hydrated and getting enough pillow time. Physical exercise is another must, but don’t forget the mind!

Mental health plays a big role in keeping the body in peak condition. That’s right, relaxation is no longer a treat. It’s a must (hey, who’s going to complain about curling up with a good novel or binge-watching movies?). Our favorite things are like islands in the storm, offering moments of rest and enjoyment. Without them, stress can boil over and fry the immune system. Hello, colds and flu.

The earlier you start to take care of your health, the better. Then again, starting at a later age is also better than never! Have fun with this one.

7. Avoiding Toxic People

Standing your ground is one thing. Trying to reason with online trolls and toxic friends is another. People who push your buttons – the most hurtful buttons – and then blame you for both the push and your reaction are not worth your time. Engaging with them is like being stuck on the hamster wheel from hell. The more you try to reason with them, the worse they behave.

There is a toxic person in every office, school, and organization. They ruin romantic relationships and friendships – often to the point of devastating their victims. If there’s serious trouble with such an individual, please get the help and support that you need. Indeed, while not always easy or safe, you’ll never regret banning toxic people from your life.

8. Balancing Work and Life

There’s nothing wrong with working hard. Jobs keep food on the table and provide for our families. But beware of the lure of overtime at the office or bringing your work home. That’s when an epic regret comes knocking.

Imagine looking back and thinking, “Where did my life go? How did the years pass so quickly?” Try as you might, you could find yourself struggling to recall the good times with clarity. The last decade could become something of a blur.

Here’s a scary thought. Anyone is replaceable in the workplace, but YOU have only one life. The lucky ones earn money with hobbies and jobs that they love. But the majority of people hate going to work every day.

If you cannot jump to a better ship, there’s no reason why you cannot balance work with fun things. Start small, then push back the unnecessary hours that you’re sacrificing at the office. The pay-off is beautiful. The more time you spend with soul-nourishing activities, the slower the years seem to go by – because they’re packed with meaning and enjoyment.

9. Having a Healthy Relationship With Money

Another biggie! Having a good relationship with money includes dealing with finances in a responsible manner (whether you have enough moolah or not) and also to reduce any financial pressure. You need a strategy to get out of debt, stay debt-free, put away some savings as well as other assets.

Needless to say, the more dismal one’s finances are, the longer it might take to form a healthy relationship with it. However, it’s something that can be corrected over time. There’s nothing a good dose of patience and commitment cannot fix. The alternative – a life burdened by financial need – isn’t something that anyone deserves.

10. Being Independent

Independence takes many forms. But you’ll never regret the effort to teach yourself the skills to manage on your own. Self-sufficiency makes life easier because you can get things done without having to wait for others or asking for help. That last one can be embarrassing if the person doesn’t really want to assist or uses it as a means to abuse power in a relationship.

Learning to be independent is natural and a never-ending process. As youngsters, we learn to dress ourselves and later on, learn how to drive a car. But independence is perhaps most valuable in adulthood. Having your own place, keeping up with technology and being able to do small (and big) things for yourself is personally one of the most empowering things that you can do for yourself.

Sometimes, we don’t have the necessities to become more self-sufficient. There might be no funds to study or move into your own apartment. Perhaps due to health issues, you must also rely on others.

However, being independent doesn’t mean never needing anyone else, or living alone. When families and friends work together to tackle a problem, it’s a wonderful bonding experience. Plus, teamwork makes difficult things easier to deal with. But independence is a great gift during the times when only you can do a certain task or you prefer to do things on your own.

Go On, Make Your Life Amazing

A great life doesn’t need exotic locations and fireworks. Sure, those things add pizzazz but you can have a happy and satisfying life without all the elite trappings. Indeed, sorting out the personal things – your finances, family, goals – bring a more lasting joy than going to the Bahamas for a week.

A big step is to see regret for what it is. A hungry time-eater and a waste of lives. Another is to remember that regret can be resolved. Even better, you can avoid it in the first place. This list is a great place to start. You are welcome to pick and choose the most useful suggestions and then apply them to your daily life. Most importantly, don’t forget to enjoy learning how to take back your time, passions and life from the Murky Pool of Regrets!

You might also want to look at these posts:
- 15 Bad Habits To Break This Year If You Want A Happy Life
- 10 Mental Health Habits to Adopt For A Great Year
Don’t forget to pin this post!

Don’t forget to pin this post to your personal development board on Pinterest or share it with your friends. You can also follow my personal development board on Pinterest for more great tips and ideas like these.
March 23, 2020
30 Easy Ways To Practice Self Care You Need To Try This Year
Life is stressful sometimes, we can’t get around that. So it’s important to practice self care as often as possible. And self care can be about the simple things you enjoy. Simple things that make you happy. So I’m sharing some 30 simple ways to practice self care that you can work on each day.

So what is self care?

Self care is all about identifying the things that you need in order to nurture your mental, emotional and physical health. It seems self explanatory, but so many people forget to focus on their own needs. It can become so easy to put everyone else first and to forget to focus on yourself for a bit.

Self care is not selfish. It is something that is needed for you to take better care of yourself. Without it, you can easily become worn out, stressed and filled with anxiety. Life can sometimes become overwhelming, so it is completely fine (and necessary!) to spend some time on yourself.

30 Easy Ways to Practice Self Care

Emotional
1. Find a quiet, comfy place and meditate
2. Learn to say NO to things that doesn’t serve you
3. Treat yourself with the same kindness and compassion as you would others – learn to forgive yourself for small mistakes
4. Listen to your favorite song or playlist and put it on repeat
5. Learn to accept compliments without embarrassment, guilt or negativity
6. Spend time with your loved ones
7. Practice gratitude daily – take note of all the small things in your day you are grateful for
8. Do something creative each day
9. Don’t attempt to do everything yourself, let others know if they can help
10. Stop criticizing yourself, become more aware of you the things you tell yourself
Physical
1. Go hiking or join a walking group
2. Play with a dog or cat (or any pet animal)
3. Learn to fly a kite or take up a new sport
4. Reorganize your room or closet
5. Go dancing
6. Start doing yoga
7. Go to bed early and get enough sleep
8. Make healthier food choices, give up soda and drink more water
9. Get 15 minutes of sun, especially if you live in colder areas
10. Take a long hot shower
Mental
1. Start journaling, write out your thoughts
2. Read a book
3. Take a break from social media
4. Listen to calming music
5. Turn off your phone
6. Help someone, it will help you feel good too
7. Plan a mini holiday for your next weekend
8. Create a zen space for yourself where you can relax
9. Go through your closet and donate all the clothes you don’t wear anymore
10. Try some adult coloring to release stress and anxiety
I hope you enjoyed this post on ways to practice self care and that maybe you got a few new ideas. Let me know in the comments below.

And remember, self care isn’t just for some of us, but for all of us. Everyone should take some time to take care of themselves. So use some of these ideas and remember to practice self care daily. In a few weeks, you’ll see how different you feel!

You might also enjoy this post of 15 bad habits you need to break for a happier life.

Don’t forget to pin these ways to practice self care!

If you enjoyed this post please pin it to your self care board on Pinterest or share it on your favorite social media platform. I would be so grateful!
March 13, 2020
15 Bad Habits To Break This Year If You Want A Happy Life
Bad habits will impact your life whether you realize it or not. And bad habits can be especially detrimental to your every day happiness. Sometimes you need to look at which bad habits to break in order to take control of your life and be happy once more.

Habits are routine behaviors which we acquired from frequent repetitions over a period of time and now unconsciously do on a regular basis. Most of the behaviors that define or characterize your person were formed as habits.

Every one of us have one or two bad habits we exhibit. Some bad habits are just weird, others dangerous to your health, and some are out-rightly harmful and can ruin your chances of happiness and success in life.

Bad Habits To Break This Year

Here are some common bad habits to break this year in order to live a happy, fulfilling and productive life.

1. Living On Social Media

We are in an age where the internet has taken center stage and life seems to revolve around social media. Most of us have become so addicted to social media that staying off our favorite site or social media platform for a few days would be tantamount to being exiled to the moon.

Social media isn’t bad in itself, but getting addicted to it is a bad habit. Don’t seek validation by uploading every detail of your life to Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, etc., and checking up on the number of likes on your post/update as if your existence depends on that.

The social media world, truth be told, is a world of hype, pretense and lies. The blue you see there could actually be a green, and so don’t get pulled into the crazy competitions that happen there.

For some people, Facebook is the first thing they do in the morning and the last thing they do at night. If you happen to be among this group, know that you are not alone but you need to consciously apply self-control and discipline and pull out the fangs of social media addiction off your life.

2. Neglecting Yourself

Some people are naturally self-sacrificing and have the tendency of putting themselves and their needs last. If this is you, be honest, this disposition leaves you all burnt out and dejected at times.

The tiredness and frustrations that come from this could make you just want to yell and scream, especially when your efforts are not reciprocated, unappreciated and taken for granted.

Inasmuch as you have to be there for others, for example family members, you don’t have to give up on your own goals in the bid to help others achieve theirs. You still need to take care of yourself.

Burying your dreams to see the dreams of others come alive is not selflessness, actually, it is a bad habit you need to break loose from if you want to succeed in life.

Your goals and aspirations are as important as that of others, and if you don’t work on making your visions come alive then who else is there who would do that for you?

3. Complaining

We all know that one person who loves to complain about anything and everything; the coffee is too hot, it’s too chilly today, the grasses are too green, the birds are flying way too fast, and on and on and on. I am sure you abhor the presence of such a grumpy character like a plague.

Nobody enjoys the company of a chronic complainer. Complaining creates a gloomy and toxic atmosphere that can swallow you up in bitterness and negativity.

Be optimistic and stop getting stressed over unnecessary things. Choose to see the positive side of life, see the glass as half full.

The worst thing about complaining is that while it blinds your eyes from seeing the positive, it does not in any way help to ameliorate the negative situation. In fact, problems tend to appear larger than life when we complain about them. Talk of literally making a mountain out of a molehill.

Quit complaining and objectively make your disapproval known when confronted with a truly negative situation. Also note that everything will not be ideal and perfect all the time, and so learn to accept things for what they are.

4. Holding On To The Past

Although the events in your past may influence your life and your disposition towards life; recognize that your past doesn’t in any way define you.

Most of us have made one or two mistakes in the past. You don’t allow your past to dictate what becomes of your present and future. Yeah, you worked as a stripper at the night club to pay your tuition that semester. Now just get over it and move on with your life.

Carrying shame or guilt or regret from your past like a stamp and wishing you could rewrite that part of your history does not serve you. Learn what you can from your mistakes. Put the past behind you and forge ahead.

It all begins with forgiving your self and then letting go of yesterday. Pick up the remaining pieces and move on with your life, or else tomorrow you will be regretting why you wasted today regretting about yesterday.

5. Comparing Yourself To Others

If you must compare, compare your today with your yesterday in order to have a progressive mindset. You are not in a competition with anybody. We all have different race to run and different paths to follow.

You’ll come down fast with depression if you keep comparing yourself with others. The grass will always be greener on the other side. Consciously and consistently refuse to run a compare and contrast study between your life and your friends’.

A famous African musician, Tuface Idibia, sang … we are all different and unique in our own different ways. You are unique and special. Maintain your lane and appreciate yourself for who you are.

6. Stress Eating

Many of us are guilty of this bad habit which is not only harmful health wise but can also harm your image, appearance and confidence as well. Stress eating is resorting to food for comfort whenever you feel stressed.

Disappointed by a friend, a slice of cake to the rescue; anxious about your unpaid bills, five scoops of ice cream will help cool down the fire; annoyed by a colleague at work, find comfort in the spread arms of chicken wings; and after you will be left angry with yourself.

Bingeing on food to get your mind off issues or stuffing your face to gain temporary comfort from tension will only plunge you deep into depression and low self-esteem.

Whenever you feel like heading to the kitchen to find comfort, strictly rebuke the thought. Place a sticker on the door of your fridge or on the dining table that will remind you to eat only when you are truly hungry.

To break this die-hard bad habit, you need to go ghetto on yourself. No self-pity. Practically throw yourself out from the kitchen.

7. Gossiping

It is good to let others know you know about some things but spreading tales about people is never a good thing, unless they expressly asked you to. Gossipers are particularly happy to spread the word when the story is unpleasant and concerns the misfortunes of others.

Nobody trusts a gossiper, and this includes the people that relish sharing gossips with you. If you can say horrible things about others why would they assume you won’t say the same about them when they’re not in the room.

Gossiping is tiring and depressing. You may feel on top of the world when your audience are oohing and aahing at your story, but afterwards you’ll feel embarrassed with yourself. Spending your time telling others the personal details of another person’s life is terrible.

You can break this habit by saying three positive sentences about someone whenever the temptation to gossip comes. Gossip lovers will rarely urge you on if the news is positive, as they would rather prefer malicious contents. Resolve not to reveal secrets or speak negatively about others.

8. Addiction To Television

Ma’am, I am ten and TV is my life, that was Kelvin McAllister in the movie Home Alone. Well, for one you are not ten years old but a grown-up and so TV can’t be your life.

Some of us are so addicted to TV series and can spend several hours mooning over romance stories on cable or Netflix. Some follow up on addictive 24/7 reality shows such as Big Brother or binge on 90 Day Fiancé, and hence aren’t able to go out there and face reality.

It’s time to turn off the tube and get a life. One day you’ll look up from that screen and discover life has moved past you while you were busy being a couch potato.

Be productive, don’t allow the make-believe world of entertainment steal your time. Reality happens in the real world and not on the four cornered screen of the TV.

9. Wearing Makeup To Bed

This is more for the ladies, but sleeping with your makeup on is another bad habit you should work on breaking.

Whether you do this out of tiredness or carelessness, you need to know that it is not right and is quite counterproductive.

The whole essence of wearing makeup is to boost your looks, isn’t it? Then why allow the makeup destroy your looks by wearing it to bed. How? I will tell you. Makeup clogs up the pores on your skin and make it difficult for the skin to breath. At night, when you are asleep and your makeup is off, the skin cells gets the chance to rejuvenate.

Wearing makeup to bed will make you age faster, so take some time to remove it before you go to bed. Moreover, the bed sheets will thank you when they don’t get the residue and smudges anymore.

Too tired or lazy by bed time to remove your makeup? Then make it a point of duty to take off makeup as soon as you arrive home at the end of the day.

10. Shying Away From Leadership Positions

Have you ever noticed yourself trying to avoid taking on responsibilities and putting yourself in a leadership position? That’s one of many bad habits to break right there.

Some of us are crippled by the habit of shying away from leadership. Break out from your comfort zone. That’s truly the only way we learn to grow ourselves. If you have an opinion, push your way to the front and voice it out loud and clear.

Sure, you may not always get it right, but not trying at all is just failing ahead of time. So next time you have the opportunity to step up, do it. You might discover something about yourself and you will certainly grow from the experience.

And remember, no one can judge you but YOU! You rock the cradle and you shape the world. It is high time you had a say in deciding issues concerning your world.

11. Indecision

Finding it hard to make up your mind and follow it up with actions? Tell me about it. You’re one among many.

This is one bad habit that handcuffs many from living a productive and happy life.

Not sure what to do? Then make a plan to figure it out. It doesn’t help to just sit and think about it without taking action. And a decision likely won’t get any easier with time.

It doesn’t mean you should make hasty decisions, but after all the fact findings, you need to follow up with taking immediate action. Else you might just keep on writing pages upon pages of business ideas or things you want to do that never gets to see the light of the day.

12. Letting Your Happiness Depend On Others

No one holds the key to your happiness except you and nobody can break you except if you permit them. Stop depending on the actions of others to define your happiness.

Stop waiting for some knight in shining armor to come and rescue you out of a gloomy castle of unhappiness and loneliness. You are in control of your life and circumstances are what you make of it.

You need to create your own world. Douse your life with all the happiness you need, color it bright with all the colors of the rainbow and give your world the pizzazz you desire to see. You are responsible for your happiness. So let your hair down, laugh, be happy and be your own knight in shining armor.

It’s a bad habit to believe that someone else should be responsible for bringing you all the fulfillment and happiness you want. You’re holding the pastel and the brush, paint your world the color you wish.

13. Living Above Your Budget

Overspending is a flaw that some of us have developed over time. Whether you go on a shopping spree as a means of relieving stress or you do it just to keep up with societal trends, overspending will sooner than later plunge you irrecoverably into debts.

Some of us have turned shopaholics because of the deadly attitude of competing with others, and so we spend more than we can afford to just to keep up with the competition.

Oftentimes the people we go overboard to impress are those who don’t like us and we don’t really like as well. You feel at home with those who love you and aren’t worried about keeping up appearances around them. Therefore you may see yourself spending money you don’t really have to impress those you don’t really like.

Meanwhile, overspending has a twin sister called borrowing. Continue rolling with her and she will soon introduce you to her sister. Borrowing will rob sleep off your eyes and keep you caged in sorrow.

Be yourself. Life within your means. Limit your spending to what your budget permits. Roll with people who love you for who you are.

You can also learn about money management and then create a weekly/monthly budget and stick to it religiously.

14. Expecting Others To Read Your Thoughts

Ever seen that cartoon that shows a group of people protesting with placards and upon being asked what they want, they said they don’t know. And when asked about when they want it, the answer was a resounding ‘now!’.

Humorous as it may seem, the satirical cartoon was eluding to a bad habit of expecting others to know what you want, even when you sometimes don’t even know yourself.

People around you are not clairvoyant and there is no way they can decipher what you want unless you put your thoughts together and articulate it.

This is one bad habit that can destroy relationships. If you assume that your partner (or anyone really) simply knows what you want or how you feel, but then you flare up when they don’t act according to your expectations, you need to re-examine yourself.

The truth is that it’s nearly impossible for anyone to discern another’s thoughts. Therefore you need to work on streamlining your thoughts and learn how to verbally communicate your needs.

15. Hiding Behind Men

Another one for the ladies, but you need to know that being a woman doesn’t mean we are second class or inferior to men. The mindset of ‘oh, it’s a man’s world‘ has limited and robbed many talented women of the chance to excel in their fields of endeavor.

To your competence, girl, you need to add a good dose of confidence, and go after what you want. Don’t ever let someone put you down or tell you that you can’t do something. And even when it’s hard, remember you can do hard things!

How To Break Bad Habits

Here are some tips to help you do away with your not too appealing habits.
- Realize you have a bad habit: The very first step to stopping a bad habit is becoming aware and acknowledging you have an unpleasant habit that needs to be done away with.
- Identify the triggers: Identify and avoid the people, situations and activities that your mind has linked to particular bad habit and then deliberately change your behavior towards the triggers.
- Replace the bad habit with a good alternative habit: Consciously replacing a bad habit with a good one is one proven way of breaking a bad habit. For example, where you would usually say something deprecating about others, commend them instead.
- Change Location: A habit is most effectively broken when you’re in a new location away from your usual daily routine and triggers.
- Be accountable: Keep a diary and record your progress. Being accountable will help you remain focused and dedicated in your mission to change a negative behavior.
- Break the connections: Keep people or things that remind you of your bad habit at bay. For instance, you can break away from that clique of friends with whom you normally indulge in shopping sprees or gossiping about others.
- Emulate good habits: Choose as a role model someone who has a good habit opposite of the bad habit you want to break.
How Long Does It Take To Break A Bad Habit?

In case you’re wondering how long it will take for you to break your bad habit, well, there is no hard and fast rules. Some habits are easy to cultivate and some people find it easier to develop a habit than others. This also applies to breaking away from a bad habit.

However, according to a 2009 study published in the Journal of Social Psychology, the length of time could be anywhere from 18 to 254 days. Bad habits can be so deep-rooted that it can only take conscious effort and continuous action to break them.

Never Give Up

In conclusion, remember that bad habits can impede your happiness and success in life, and hence you need to stop them before they stop you. To do this you need to apply self-control, discipline and perseverance.

And even if you identified some bad habits to break, don’t be discouraged. There is always room for improvement, and in fact, continues growth and self improvement is something we should all strive for.

Be a better person today than you were yesterday!

If you found this post helpful please remember to pin it to your personal development board on Pinterest! Thank you!
March 13, 2020
10 Mental Health Habits to Adopt In 2020 For A Great Year
2019 was the year we saw a strong surge of mental health awareness. The public’s focus on health broadened to also include taking care of one’s mental and emotional health. People have finally realized that one of the keys to maintaining a healthy body is to have a healthy mind.

This coming 2020, mental health awareness will continue to be one of the bigger focuses on overall well being. Learning a few habits that will promote and improve your mental health will be a great start to your new year.

This article first appeared on MadebyHemp.

1. Exercise

The secret to a sound body is a sound mind. But it could also work both ways. The secret to a sound mind is a sound body. It might not work for everybody, but for a majority of able-bodied people, a great way to boost endorphins is to go out and move. Find an exercise that you love. You don’t need to do what everyone else is doing. Some people prefer lifting weights, some like yoga, some even run marathons. Find that one exercise you want to stick with and run with it.

2. Gratefulness

Being thankful for the things you have instead of focusing on the things you don’t is a good way of bringing positive energy into your life. It will, more importantly, make you realize you are lucky to have the things you do. Practicing the habit of being grateful will help you become a more positive person.

3. Be kind

Be the person you wish other people would be to you. Make someone’s day by smiling at them, or helping them carry a heavy load, or even just opening the door for someone who has their hands full. A bit of kindness paid forward will cultivate a world of kindness. It doesn’t take much to make others smile.

4. Sleep

Get enough sleep. Sleep can do wonders for a tired mind and body. Don’t overdo it though. Get the right amount of sleep in order to feel rested and ready to tackle your day, every day. Put your screen away close to bedtime and concentrate on relaxing. Give your body and mind the time to recover and recuperate.

5. Hang out with friends

Socialize. Even the most introverted person has someone they prefer to hang around with. It does wonderful things to your soul to share your time with the people that matter.

6. Chocolate

Better yet, try Therapeutic Chocolate with Cannabidiol (CBD) oil. Cannabinoids are non-psychoactive and can reduce anxiety. If you are looking to incorporate CBD into your diet, but is not very much of a fan of its earthy taste, chocolate is the way to go. Cannabinoids are found to keep the body in neutral state, and support the functions of the brain, as well as the central and peripheral nervous system. Get your chocolate fix for the day, and get CBD’s benefits while you’re at it.

7. Laugh

When they said laughter is the best medicine, they were not kidding. Laughter helps ease stress and anxiety. Hang out with a funny friend, or watch a comedy show. Or maybe learn a few jokes and share them with your friends. Laughter is one of those things that multiply when shared.

8. Eat well

A few desserts won’t hurt you any but for the most part, feed your body the things it should be fed. Eat a healthy and balanced diet. This will ensure your body will feel healthy and will give you less things to stress or worry about. Avoid things that will harm your body like smoking or excessive drinking.

9. Love yourself

Tell yourself something nice every day. Most people are generous with giving away compliments to others but are stingy when it comes to themselves. Start your day by giving yourself a sincere compliment. It could be something simple like “oh my skin looks very nice today”. Or “I do make an amazing omelet.” And develop this into a daily habit. Because loving yourself will allow you to love others more freely.

10. Meditate

Give your mind a chance to empty itself out of the negative energy that is pervasive in the world. Give your mind the space to breathe and relax. And as you relax your mind, you relax your body. Meditation is a great way to connect your mind and your body into one plane. It is a good way to relax and to relieve yourself of any stress that you may have. Meditation also complements therapy.

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March 10, 2020