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Tag: mental health

  • 9 Tips To Stop Sabotaging Yourself And Your Success

    9 Tips To Stop Sabotaging Yourself And Your Success

    Self-sabotage. That’s a major evil for many of us. It keeps us from living the life we truly want and stops us from reaching our goals. That’s why is really important to identify self sabotaging behaviors and nip it in the bud. I’ll be sharing some of my top tips on how to stop sabotaging yourself so you can really chase after the life and goals you want.

    You must have heard that voice inside of you that keeps questioning your ability, your achievements, your wins, your accomplishments, and even your success. Listening to that voice keeps you away from what you’ve always wanted in life. It keeps you under the shadow of doubts.

    Self-sabotage manifests in different ways. At times, it comes in the form of low self-esteem. These esteem issues are often as a result of the fear that is generated by our own inner voice – it is often a negative voice! 

    For instance, you have a new opportunity – a wonderful opportunity indeed. And you feel like taking it… But then a voice inside you will say; 

    • It’s very risky.
    • You can’t do it. 
    • Remember, you have no experience doing this. 
    • You might fail. 
    • It is difficult. 
    • Others failed here. 
    • What will others think?
    • Just try something else… 

    That voice is simply limiting you. Listening to it will make you miss out on many opportunities. You will fail to set and achieve many goals. That’s the negative effect of self-sabotage.

    It is self-sabotage when, instead of preparing for your interview tomorrow, you are stuck on social media. Of course, you’re limiting your success. You chose the pleasurable activity (social media) apparently because that negative voice made you feel like it’s too difficult to prepare for the interview. 

    It’s also self-sabotage if, after your dietitian told you to avoid junk food so as to lose some pounds, you still can’t stop eating chocolates, pizza, and burgers! (Raise your hand if you’re on this table.)

    Now, how do you deal with this? In this article, I’ll show you just how to stop sabotaging yourself. 

    But before we get to the how, it’s important to know why you need to stop self-sabotage.

     

     

    Why You Should Stop Sabotaging Yourself 

    One of the greatest negativities you can ever embrace is self-sabotage.

    Yes, it’s understandable that many times people can do a whole lot to frustrate you, your plans, your goals, and your mission.

    But then, why should You be the one to frustrate yourself and your entire success? That is unimaginable. But it happens. In fact, that’s what self-sabotage is all about. It’s like engineering your own failure.

    Sure, we all crave success. But it all starts with our ability to stop undermining ourselves, to stop questioning our abilities, and to stop limiting our achievements. 

    If you can deal with that part of you that sabotages your efforts, then you will be more positive and optimistic in life. You will start doing what you used to be afraid of and you will start embracing your greatest fears. You will begin to take bold steps!

    By so doing, you will most likely achieve your goals and success won’t be far-fetched.

    Now, to the main reason you’re here: How To Stop Sabotaging Yourself

    Due to sad past experiences, you might become familiar with failure. This might result in chronic fear. This phobia can also be as a result of how you were brought up. You probably developed low self-esteem in the long run.

    In this kind of situation, you will be scared to try out new things – scared to embrace a new challenge. Scared to make a big move!

    But that’s self-sabotage.

    So, how do you overcome this fear? How do you stop sabotaging yourself? Here are 9 tips to help you!

     

     

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    1. Understand What Self-Sabotage Is

    The fact is, you are more likely to find a solution to a problem if you understand exactly what that problem is.

    In other words, if you want to stop sabotaging yourself, then first, you must understand what “self-sabotage” means. 

    Many of us have these self-limiting habits that we misconstrue as “precaution” or “carefulness”. But in reality, it’s self-sabotage.

    The reason your self-sabotaging behaviors keep lingering is because you often don’t understand that those attitudes are actually limiting you. You only see it like you’re playing safe… At the end of the day, you hurt yourself without even realizing it.

    To avoid this kind of ignorance, the first step to take towards solving this problem is to understand what self-sabotage entails.

    Now, to be clear with this, self-sabotage is simply that habit or mindset that stops you from being you. It is basically anything that comes from “within” you that prevents you from achieving your ultimate goal(s) in life.

    Based on this definition, it is left for you to ask yourself; how am I sabotaging myself?

     

     

    2. Realizing Your Self-Sabotaging Habits 

    Having understood what self-sabotage means, the next thing is to recognize those self-sabotaging habits you exhibit. Find out the self-limiting and self-destructive stuff that tend to undermine your progress. 

    Some common self-limiting habits or mindsets are:

    • Procrastinating unnecessarily: This is one behavior that holds many people back. Hence, a popular slogan holds that; delay is dangerous!
    • Negative Self-talk: If all you do is talk negatively about yourself, nothing can make you believe in yourself… Consequently, you will become pessimistic. And as a result, you will never succeed because you will never try. 
    • Perfectionism: The truth remains that nobody is perfect, and nobody will ever be. So, if you’re waiting till you’re perfect before doing what needs to be done, then you’ll never really do anything. 

    If you are doing any of the aforementioned, then please stop! That’s self-sabotage. And it won’t allow you to make any progress.

     

     

    Stop Sabotaging Yourself

     

     

    3. Understand Why You Are Sabotaging Yourself 

    If you must stop sabotaging yourself, then you have to first understand why you are self-sabotaging. What are the deep-rooted causes of your self-sabotage? The truth is that there are different reasons you subconsciously undermine yourself. Find out why!

    Is it because of your deep-seated fears? Anxiety? Or because over time, your self-esteem got lower? Is it because you are hypersensitive? Or are you depressed?

    Are you sabotaging yourself because you lack self-confidence? Or is it because you’re overly assertive? Are you undermining yourself because you work too hard and get too little to show for it? Are you the workaholic type with no results?

    Or is it that you’ve achieved so much and now, you no longer feel like trying out stuff? 

    Are you impairing yourself because you are an introvert and you lack the basic social interactive skills? Do you simply suck at communication?

    If you can ask yourself these questions, you’re likely to find out the cause(s) of your self-limiting attitude (or thoughts). 

    That being said, what is the cause of your self-sabotage? Jot them down.

     

     

    4. Address Your Fears 

    What are your fears? If you want to stop sabotaging yourself, then you have to stand and face those things you dread the most. Be ready to embrace them. You don’t have to shy away.

    As a matter of fact, you only feel like it’s impossible because you are scared. If you can remove that fear, you will begin to see the possibilities.

    Instead of backing off because of panic, rewrite your fears from a different viewpoint. For instance, if your fear is because of previous failures, you can simply choose to focus on the present. 

    What are the facts about the task at hand? If you can deal with those facts, then you have nothing to worry about. 

    Just so you know, you can actually reverse your fear into inspiration. It’s just a matter of perspective. You have to decide to attack that fear by facing it anyway. Deal with it!

    It mustn’t be about solving the whole problem at once… You can take it one step at a time. Every little step forward actually matters. It’s always going to be a gradual process.

     

     

    5. Surround Yourself With Positive People 

    The people you keep close to yourself says a lot about the kind of mindset you have. Mediocrity begets mediocrity. Positivity begets positivity. 

    Most people who sabotage themselves only do so because the people they communicate with (or are connected to) are mostly self saboteurs too.

    You have to watch the set of people you mingle with… Are they the type who are immersed in self-doubt? Do they always have a reason to say no? Are they pessimists?

    As a matter of fact, when you only associate with people who would always dissuade you from taking up new challenges, you will definitely start buying their suggestions at some point. 

    It might even get to the point where you will start doubting yourself subconsciously. So, try as much as possible to avoid such negative-minded people. 

     

     

    6. Be Realistic

    It’s vital that you understand your reality. It will help you to be you, and as such, you will always go for what you want without having a double mind about it. Being realistic is mainly about understanding that nobody is perfect. And that you (particularly) can’t be correct at all times. 

    Perfectionism makes you set impossible standards. As a perfectionist, you’ll most likely be physically and mentally stressed trying to make everything perfect. And at the end of the day, you won’t meet that “perfect” standard you aspire to.

    That’s why you have to be realistic with your expectations. It will help you to be yourself. And hence, your goals will be obtainable without much stress.

    Besides, perfectionism will deter you from a whole lot. Because you will tend to wait until a perfect time before you can execute your goals. Of course, that’s not what you want to do if you wish to stop sabotaging yourself. 

     

     

    7. Set Goals And Make Plans To Achieve Them 

    It’s almost impossible to stop sabotaging yourself if you don’t know what you want (or what you expect) in life.

    When you are uncertain about what to expect, your self-esteem will be low. You will find it difficult to take those bold steps. You will feel incompetent, and as a result, you will see yourself withdrawing from any challenge you encounter.

    How do you counteract this?

    You simply have to be clear about your goals. And of course, you must make plans to achieve them. Setting a goal will give you a clear pathway towards achieving your aspirations for the future. 

    While we live in an uncertain world, when you have a goal and a solid plan to achieve the goal, you will be a little more certain about what to expect. 

     

     

    8. Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone 

    Hey, this is the real deal. 

    After setting your goals, you have to get out of your comfort zone to achieve them! Often, the reason you undermine your success is because you prefer staying where you are comfortable. You only do things you feel comfortable doing.

    Well, it’s natural. We’re all wired to seek convenience. However, if you must stop sabotaging your success, you have to be willing and able to do things a bit differently – even if it makes you very uncomfortable.

    Nothing extraordinary actually comes to you in your comfort zone… Be mindful of that.

     

     

    9. Change Your Behavioral Pattern 

    Changing your pattern of behavior is probably one of the most difficult tasks of all. But then it goes a long way to determine if you’ll stop the attitude of self-sabotage or not.

    You simply have to deal with those behavioral tendencies that limit you from being what you want to be – or getting the results you’ve always wanted.

    How do you change your behavioral pattern? 

    First, you have to understand that any behavior you exhibit begins from your mindset! After all, every action takes place in the mind – first – before we even reveal them. That’s why you must change your mindset if you want to change your behavior. 

    Remember, it’s always one particular voice in your head that will dissuade you from making those big moves. Now, ask yourself; is that a negative or a positive voice?

    To change your negative behaviors, you have to stop listening to those negative voices. You should start listening more to that voice that propels you to take a step!

     

     

    Related reads:

     

     

    Final thoughts

    It’s not always easy to adopt all these measures to stop sabotaging yourself. It takes lots of time, dedication, and conscious effort!

    However, the end result is quite extraordinary. 

    You will be amazed at how much you can achieve if you stop undermining yourself and your success.

     

     

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    Stop Sabotaging Yourself
  • How To Get Your Life Together When It Feels Out Of Control

    How To Get Your Life Together When It Feels Out Of Control

    Life is a long journey. And it’s not always smooth. It can sometimes be quite a roller coaster (if I do say so myself). Some days are filled with pleasant excitement. In such cases, we just wish it never ends. But there are other days when everything seems to be in shambles. And at that point, we wonder if we can ever get out of that day fast enough. Today I’ll be sharing some tips on how to get your life together and back on track when your life feels chaotic.

    It’s a pretty common experience in life to find yourself in some kind of slum and feel stuck. Although it might be really difficult to put things in order, no matter where you are in life, you CAN get your life together again.

    One thing you should know about getting your life together is that it’s not abrupt. It is a process…a continuous process. And hence, we have the good and bad days, the sunny and rainy days.

    Sometimes, you’ll feel like you can single handedly take the world by storm. Other times the ferocity of life leaves you so lonely and terrified. 

    But then there is a possibility that nowadays, you see more of those horrible days than you ever saw the good days and now, you want solutions on how to break free.

    Since your search for a solution brought you here, then you took the right step! Join me as I go over some practical ways to get your life back on track, no matter what happened in the past. We move.

     

     

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    1. Examine The Categories Of Your Life 

    Hey, so I’m sure you know that to ascertain  results or causal factors, an examination is always required.

    You undergo a school examination to ascertain how much knowledge you’ve acquired over a given period of time (that’s debatable but maybe some other time?). When you fall sick, you go through a medical examination to ascertain the cause of the disease.

    The reason I’m putting this on top of the list is that in order to solve any problem, you have to find out the cause first. Now, in order to get your life back on track, you have to start by finding out WHY you are stuck in the first place. 

    And there is no better way to find out why than to examine the 8 categories of your life. The 8 life categories encompass virtually all aspects of your life; making it quite comprehensive.

    If you can effectively examine and evaluate these life categories, there is no way you won’t find out the cause(s) of your problems, and hence the solution won’t be so far away.

    These are the 8 Life Categories you must evaluate:

    • Business/Career 
    • Wealth/Finances 
    • Family/Friends 
    • Recreation/Fun/Entertainment 
    • Fitness/Health 
    • Love Life 
    • Spiritual/Personal Development 
    • Physical/Environmental Aspect. 

    After identifying those 8 areas of your life, you have to evaluate them by creating a vision for each. In each of the categories, ask yourself:

    • What have I done wrong here?
    • How do I make amends?
    • What do I want to achieve? 
    • Where do I want to be?

    By asking these questions, you will easily evaluate how you are performing presently and why. Then moving forward becomes easier. 

     

     

    2. Routinize Your Day 

    Remember, it’s all about getting your life together. So, if your activities can be routinized, you will feel better for sure. This is because a TASK feels more difficult to accomplish than a ROUTINE. 

    To routinize your day, you have to start from the very moment you wake up from sleep. Preferably, you can start with less difficult activities, maybe a minor exercise will do for a morning routine. 

    Then get to the main activities for the day. Take them one activity after another until evening. Yeah, evening routines are special too. One of the best night activities you could adopt is to prepare for the next day. It makes tomorrow less terrifying or occupied.

    The more your routines are constant (continuous or uninterrupted), the easier your life becomes. 

    When you wake up every day familiar with all your to-dos, life will definitely be less overwhelming. 

    However, changing your routines from time to time won’t be a bad idea. Because it’s possible to feel bored after repeating the same line of activities day-in-day-out. 

    A switch in daily routines at times can help get your life up (just as much as routines do). 

    Related: Top 10 Morning Habits To Supercharge Your Day

     

     

    How To Get Your Life Together

     

     

    3. Get Clear With Your Goals 

    The whole idea of setting a goal is to give us a clear direction towards achieving what we want. Of course, it’s easier to have dreams of what you want to be, but it is quite difficult to achieve those dreams if you don’t have a clear goal (and planned actions) on how to go about it. 

    I’m sure you don’t want to wander for ages without vision or direction. You will definitely not reach your destination. That’s exactly what happens to you if you have no clear goal.

    How to go about goal-setting?

    First, take 30 minutes of your time to search through your mind. Then, write down the things you really want to achieve by the end of next week or next month or even next year. The third (and a very vital step) is to come up with a strategy; the day-to-day activities you must embark on towards achieving the stated goal(s).

    Moreover, you must revisit your strategy from time to time to ensure that you are on the right track and to make some adjustments if need be. 

     

     

    4. Have A Priority List 

    If you really want to get your life together, then it’s high time you stopped biting off more than you can chew. Often we set many more goals than we can achieve. And in the process of chasing the multiple goals, we get stuck without any significant achievement! It’s quite sad. 

    For instance, you can recall how busy most people are every 31st Of December, trying to create certain resolutions that they will end up not executing.

    If you really want to put things in place and get your life a bit simpler, you have to prioritise. If possible, set only a goal for a given period of time. Focusing on a goal makes it more feasible to achieve.  

     

     

    5. Learn How To Be Productive

    Productivity comes before fulfilment. Nobody can truly say they have attained self-actualization without being productive in the first place. 

    Unfortunately, productivity doesn’t come easy and most of us struggle with it. We strive so hard and many times, we fail to achieve our desires. Apparently, that’s why we feel like our life is falling apart.

    But come to think of it, how can you be productive when you often start up something and leave it halfway and then delve into something else…only to forget the one you started initially?

    Such an attitude to work will never yield any positive results. Instead, you will feel disorganised by it. In order to become more productive, you need a little bit of patience and determination. You need that resilience to finish up any task you start. 

    There are lots of books and internet materials like this one that will help you to take the right steps towards productivity. 

    Related: 10 Effective Time Management Tips That Really Work

     

     

    6. Organize Your Finances 

    The financial aspect of your life is something you mustn’t joke with. 

    It’s not always easy to keep your finances in order. Handling money is not child’s play. And hence, most of us have our fair share of mismanaging money; if not all the time, then at least once in our lifetime. 

    Fortunately, money management – saving and budgeting – is something you can get good at (that is, if you really want to).

    However, it doesn’t just come to us, it requires constant effort! 

    As a matter of fact, one of the basic goals you should set in order to get your life together is to organise your finances. 

    Start by developing an action plan for money management. 

    On every payday, probably the end of the month, take out a portion of your income for savings. The higher the amount you can muster for savings, the better. Then remove the amount you need for your recurrent monthly expenses. Any remainder afterward can then be used for fun, entertainment, or emergency.

    If you can make it a goal to follow this procedure every month, your finances will definitely get better. 

    Related: 20 Things To Stop Buying To Save Money Starting Today

     

     

    7. Invest In Your Health 

    Health, they say is wealth (sigh, if only they meant that literally, I’d be rich!)

    The most direct way to invest in your life is by investing in your health. In other words, to get your life up and running, your health must be in one piece.

    Most times, people take their health for granted. However, the importance of good health will resonate with you as you get older. By then, you’ll realise that you can no longer do certain things you used to do freely. 

    Unfortunately, old-age is not the perfect time to start taking care of yourself. You have to start now… As early as possible. By doing so, you will feel great even when you get older.

    A proper way to start investing in your health is by adopting healthy lifestyles such as:

    • Exercising regularly
    • Eating healthily
    • Drinking enough water
    • Taking supplements
    • Going for medical check-ups
    • Avoiding alcohol & cigarettes 
    • Avoiding excessive sugar and fats
    • Visiting the hospital once you fall sick, etc.

    Undoubtedly, you will benefit a lot by living a healthy life. 

    First, your weight will be under control. As a matter of fact, you have little or no chance of being obese just by embracing a healthy lifestyle. Also, a healthy way of living will improve your mood. You will simply be happier.

    Moreover, certain diseases like; diabetes, arthritis, depression, cancer, will be prevented. As long as you make healthier choices and invest in your health as much as you can, you will definitely live comfortably enough to get your life together. 

     

     

    8. Declutter Your Space 

    Sometimes, the reason you feel like your life is messed up is quite simple;  you’re in a mess. A dirty environment will never benefit you. It generally affects your vibe, your mood, your aura, your temperament… Even your health!

    To get your life together, you shouldn’t only focus intrinsically. Sometimes, our environment goes a long way to affect how we feel within.

    Decluttering your environment from time to time is quite necessary. It not only provides you a clean space to live happily but also improves the state of your mind. 

    Therefore, use certain days within the week to clean your home (both the interior and exterior). Also, discard all those properties you no longer need. They clutter the little space you have and make you feel clogged.

    What do you stand to gain from decluttering? Well, there are a whole lot of benefits that come with decluttering. Some are physical, others are psychological. 

    Physically, a clean home reduces exposure to surface germs and resultantly, reduces the risk of infections. Psychologically, a clean, spacious environment improves concentration, reduces stress levels, improves mood, and most importantly, the quality of your sleep will be transformed. 

     

     

    9. Make Time For Yourself 

    This might be last on this list but definitely one of the most important steps to take.

    Many times, life can get so crazy!

    You find yourself paying lots of attention to work, family, and other responsibilities. You get so engrossed and busy so as to make ends meet. But then, you need to pause…

    Take a break.

    Remember to give yourself some time. Your body needs it!

    Use that little break time to prioritize yourself. Self-care is something that should be on your list of priorities. No matter how busy you are, create a little time to care for yourself. 

    Once you learn how to give yourself some time amidst all difficulties, it won’t be long before you start feeling like things are beginning to fall in place for you. Just try it out.

    Related: 30 Easy Ways To Practice Self Care

     

     

    Final thoughts

    There’s a whole lot more that will help you put your life in one piece. However, above all, learn to be kind and never be too hard on yourself. Always take it one step at a time.

    Remember, getting your life together is a continuous process!

     

     

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    How To Get Your Life Together
  • How To Remove Negativity From Your Life And Be Happier

    How To Remove Negativity From Your Life And Be Happier

    One moment you could be excited, and the next, you’re down and having the worst thoughts ever. This is a common experience for the many of us today, largely due to all the negativity in our immediate surroundings. Social media, friends, colleagues, even family—just about anything and anyone can be the source of negativity. Sad, but that’s the reality we live in.  That’s why I’ll share some tips today on how to remove negativity from your life so you can be happier.

    It is so important to retreat and deliberately remove negativity from your life! You can even choose to escape from it all for a while. Be it by going offline, or avoiding certain places and people. Whatever the case may be, your mental health is of utmost importance and should not be taken for granted. Never, ever.

    If you are facing negativity in your life or something similar, read on as I walk you through some practical tips on how to remove negativity from your life, for good.

     

     

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    1. Identify your areas of negativity

    This is the first and most important commandment to remove negativity from your life. This entails pinpointing the reasons you might be a negative thinker in the first instance and the areas of your life that tend to spur negative thoughts. 

    In order for you to get a solution, you must admit that you have a problem.

    You can’t identify these areas if you don’t accept that you have negative thoughts. This requires a quiet time of reflection, so it is best if you put it down on paper. Studies have shown that writing things down tends to reduce stress and increase optimism.

    After putting down the possible areas that bring about negative thoughts, you have to change your mindset about them.

     

     

    2. Focus on the optimistic viewpoint, no matter how small

    As there are two sides of a coin, there are also two sides to every situation presented before you—the good and the bad. Find the good aspect of a situation and focus on it.

    Change your mindset. 

    Focus is the key to drifting your mind away from the uncertain “what ifs” to the “what if I can”. In simple terms, what you focus on is what determines it all. For example, if you lost a competition, focus on the knowledge and exposure you have acquired, rather than the “shame” and “lost fame”. This would help relieve the burden of frustration that is likely to sprout.

    Related: How To Have An Abundance Mindset: 10 Habits To Cultivate

     

     

    3. Overcome the fears that hold you back

    The main reason you have negative thoughts is because you fear what could happen if you finally decide to act and most times, you get lost in such thoughts.

    When faced with such fears, here’s what you should do: 

    First off, question the negative thought. To remove negativity from your life, you are not burying every negative thought or emotion that pops up in your mind, neither are you avoiding difficult fallings. 

    They should be faced upfront and questioned. These questions would give you a reality check and bring you up to a positively inclined perspective. 

    For example, often ask yourself this question; “What is the worst that could happen?”

    Most times, if not all, the worst thing that could happen in reality is not as bad as what you imagine it to be. Understanding this fact will help you take action and of course, go a step further in a bid to remove negative thoughts from your life.

     

     

    4. Do not dwell on past mistakes 

    This can be done in two ways:

    i) Let go of past mistakes

     Mistakes from past experiences shouldn’t be the basis of judgment for future occurrences. Most people tend to hold on to their past mistakes and use them to compare with their present or yet to come opportunities, making them think negatively and be reluctant to take action.

    ii) Learn from past mistakes

    It is one thing to let go of previous mistakes and another thing to learn from them. Learn to take previous failures and turn the next opportunity into success. Let it be a source of motivation for you, rather than it forming a bundle of negative thoughts in your mind. 

    Take responsibility for your actions. This will help you own up to your mistakes whenever you encounter any problem in life and overcome the fears that may want to prevent you from taking that big step you have been desiring to take.

    Acknowledging your mistakes will also help you learn from them!

    Where there are failures and disappointments in the previous project, shake them off. Thomas Edison had to try his experiment on the light bulb 1000 times, all of which were failures except the last trial, which was a success.

    Push on. There are always lessons to be learned when failure comes. It is either you are stagnant or you learn and be better. This is one of the most effective ways to remove negativity from your life. 

     

     

    Remove Negativity From Your Life
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    5. Take it one step at a time 

    Do not try to go too fast. Steady and slow eases stress. If you try to take on too much at a time, it might be overwhelming, and negative thoughts on just about anything might start to well up. 

    Taking things one after the other calms your mind and body, making it easier to think things through and find the optimistic perspective of any and every situation. Stay healthy. Take good care of yourself and only then would you be able to think positively about any situation. 

    Sleeping well, eating well and exercising daily will give you fewer reasons to have negative thoughts and more reasons to be grateful (am I right, or am I right?).

     

     

    6. Never compare yourself with others 

    Ah, the golden rule. This is something natural for all humans. We tend to compare ourselves and then get depressed about it, especially when we are on the “not good enough” end. 

    Some people might seem to have the perfect life, job, spouse, family, or something you desire but can’t have yet, and this causes you to think about all that you haven’t achieved or a previous mistake you made. 

    Whatever the case may be, always remember that all fingers aren’t equal (cliché, but please permit me). You don’t know how long it took to get to that level, what, and how they got to that stage nor the pain and suffering they endured just to attain that status. So, there isn’t any need to get jealous over them or immerse yourself in overwhelming negative thoughts. Be yourself and work hard at what you do. Doing this will make it easier for you to remove negativity from your life.

     

     

    7. Start your day in a positive way 

    How you start your day is very important. This could be done in ways such as:

    i) Performing Activities

     Take some time out in the morning to do things that keep you calm. You could pray, read a novel, do some exercises, listen to soothing music—anything that keeps you cool-headed.

    ii) Self Affirmations 

    These are positive statements that are said repeatedly, often daily. Research suggests that repeated actions program the mind to be inclined in that direction. So, the more these affirmations are said, the more the mind works toward that direction. Choose affirmations that are personally meaningful to you. The affirmations can be “I am the best”, “I am beautiful”, “I refuse to have negative thoughts today”, “I have peace of mind”, and so on.

    Doing these things will give you a positive boost for your day because how you start your morning usually goes a long way in setting the tone for the rest of your day.

    Related: Top 10 Morning Habits To Supercharge Your Day With Positivity

     

     

    8. Create time for leisure

    Here, you can do whatever you love. As simple as it may seem, it can be the hardest because of that project deadline you have to meet up with or your tight schedule which you must follow to the end.

    In all these, try to create time for that which you love to do. When you do something you love, you are distracted from feeling sad or having negative thoughts!

     

     

    9. Spend your time with positive people

    There is a common saying that goes: “Show me your friend and I will tell you who you are”. This implies a lot in positive thinking. Negativity and positivity are contagious. The people you spend your time with should be handpicked by you because you are in a transformation phase.

    Negative energy can send you tumbling back to scratch and I am pretty sure you don’t want that to happen. The people you spend your time with should be people who are cheerful, humorous, and those who can help bring you out even when it seems you are slipping back into negative thoughts. 

    Being around positive-minded people has been shown to improve self-esteem as well as increase one’s chances of achieving goals. Surround yourself with people who can uplift you and remove negative thoughts from your life.

     

     

    10. Bring positivity into the life of someone else 

    Putting smiles on people’s faces can do you more good than it will do them. It will help you get out of your head and any negative thought that is sprouting. It also boosts your self-confidence and self-esteem. By giving you a sense of accomplishment, you are provided with the necessary mind power to take actions without having negative thoughts.

    How do you do this?

    Be kind to others; you could buy lunch for a friend, give a heartfelt compliment on their clothes or style.

    Give a listening ear; a friend might just need someone to listen to his venting. Just listen and try helping out either with advice or just a consolation.

    Contribute your quota to your society. When you can focus on what you have to give to your society, you will feel good about what you have. You could donate to an orphanage home or the construction of a school building.

    This and many more you can do to shift your concentration whenever you see that you are slipping back into negative thinking.

     

     

    11. Let out your feelings

    At the end of your day, it will do you good to write down every unpleasant situation that occurred during the day. This will get it off your mind, preventing any kind of negative thoughts and as well give you a good night’s rest. Sounds like a win-win if you ask me.

     

     

    12. Understand that your positivity lies within you

    Do not rely on any external factor, whether a person or otherwise, to make you happy or spur your positivity. Remember that no one owes you anything. Yes, they might make you happy sometimes but it might not go that way every single time. So, you must understand that only you have the power to focus your mind on being positive. 

    With this mindset, you won’t be hurt whether things go according to your expectations or not.

     

     

    Final thoughts

    Finally, to reiterate, the key to having a positive mindset is first of all accepting that you have negative thoughts. Focus on the renewal of your mindset, see every situation in a positive light as much as you can and you will discover that your consequences, in reality, are not as bad as what you imagined them to be. 

    Try as much as possible never to dwell on your mistakes. Do not use your past mistakes to judge present or future opportunities. Do not try to take too much at a time. Take breaks in between tasks. 

    Stay healthy. Eat, sleep well, exercise daily, and make sure you hydrate yourself to avoid unnecessary weakness and illness. Also, spend your time around positive people who can lift your mood. Bring positivity into the life of other people too by helping out and being kind to them. 

    Make sure you don’t bottle up your feelings. Let it out by writing it down or talking to a close friend about it. Above all, you must understand that your positivity lies within you. Do not rely on anyone to spur your positivity. 

    Removing negativity from your life has several benefits, including higher energy levels and a better outlook on life! This will lower the tendency for you to fall into depression, thereby making you live your life to the fullest while learning and re-learning from the situations life throws at you.

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  • How To Be Happy In Life Despite Your Circumstances

    How To Be Happy In Life Despite Your Circumstances

    The truth is, everyone wants to be happy. That’s why we do all we can to discover the means to be happy.  But happiness is a choice. Today I’ll share some tips on how to be happy in life no matter where you find yourself in your life journey.

    We are wrong about many things we believe about happiness. Most of the places we go, or the things we do, or even the ideas we buy do not guarantee happiness.

    For instance, we all want to be successful in everything we do, in order to be happy. But in reality, we just CAN’T be successful in every aspect of life… There are so many attempts we make that are bound to fail. For that reason, we fail to find happiness in our quest for success!

    Moreover, many of us also chase money by virtually every means all in the hope of finding true happiness in it. Yes, we become happier with the more money we make but such happiness is usually short-lived because;

    • While we make money, we also lose money every day and that doesn’t bring happiness.
    • Even when we keep making money, there are problems money doesn’t solve. In that case, nothing like happiness.
    • Money brings you comfort but also makes you uncomfortable because you will be worried about how to ensure you never go broke again. Research has it that rich people have sleepless nights more than average people. Now, does that depict happiness?  
    • Nobody is seemingly satisfied with the amount he has. The more money you make, the more you want. You can’t call this happiness!

    Besides the ill sides of money, there are many other reasons why you are simply wrong to think that money or success bring true happiness… Because true happiness is not short-lived. It is not a destination, it is also not a permanent state of feeling good. Happiness is not materialistic.

     

     

    How to be happy in life

    With all that said above, what then is happiness?

    To explain this, I would simply say that happiness is when you are content with yourself and your life. Happiness is when you choose to be happy even amidst difficulties.

    Moreover, in order to have real happiness, you have to intentionally make efforts to address all the areas of your life that can trigger your feelings and emotions.

    Now, that brings us to how to be happy in life despite the circumstances you find yourself… Are you ready? Let’s go!

     

     

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    Practice Gratitude 

    More often than not, people insinuate that they will be happy if they acquire something or if a certain thing happens. Unfortunately, that is not the case because happiness doesn’t depend on material or immaterial things. 

    Have you ever heard that happiness is bought?

    Nah, it can’t be!

    Sure, when something pleasant is added to your life, you’re bound to be happy about it. But the question is, will such happiness be sustained? 

    The only way you can acquire sustainable joy is when you are grateful for the things you’ve got already and stay content with them. This way, you’ll realize that those material things are not essential for your happiness. Hence, your source of happiness will become innate.

    Now, let’s be practical;

    Think about those things you really desire to have… The fact that you don’t have them is enough to make you unhappy. But also, think about what you already have at hand that you are grateful for, I’m sure that makes you happier?

    That’s exactly what the power of gratitude is all about. A grateful man is a happier man but a man whose happiness depends on obtaining more has a greater tendency to be sad. Because there is no guarantee that you’d get all you want in life! At least, not without working towards it.

     

     

    Do Away With Negative Thoughts 

    We are all familiar with those waves of negative thoughts or emotions that run across our minds at times… 

    Now, note this; such emotions or thoughts are the greatest enemies of a happy life! Once you can deal with them, then your happiness is assured!

    It might interest you to know that negative thoughts are inescapable as long as life is concerned. It’s normal to have such moments. However, you don’t have to give it room to linger for long. You must learn how to deal with it if you must be happy.

    Harbouring any negative thought or emotion for long will definitely affect how you act and feel over time. Of course, you don’t want this.

     

     

    Walk Away From Toxic Relationships 

    Sometimes, the people you hang around with can influence your emotions. They play a big role in your happiness or sadness. Do you doubt that?

    Okay, how do you feel after spending time with your friends or colleagues who have negative things to say about you? Pretty hurt, I guess. Compare that to the feeling you get when you are around those who have words of motivation and encouragement to offer you. Uplifting, yes?

    That’s exactly why you have to be careful about who you let into your circle! 

    Sure, in life, you will have different kinds of people interacting with you at different times, however, you must be smart enough to know what’s good for you. Remember, it’s all about your happiness.

    Therefore, don’t hesitate to walk away from that toxic relationship. That’s exactly how to be happy in life!

     

     

    Practice Self Love 

    There is no way you can stay happy if you don’t love yourself, because true happiness stems from love. And if you must exhibit love generally, you must start by loving yourself. If you’re of the mindset that you’re not good enough, then you have to start giving yourself some credit. If you can’t, who then do you expect to appreciate you the way you deserve?

    As a matter of fact, in order to learn how to be happy in life, you must start by being happy with who you are. Treat yourself with love, just like you want others to treat you!

    It’s not selfish to love yourself, it’s just a way to set an example to others on how they should treat you. If you fail to love yourself unconditionally, there is no way you’ll find true happiness from any other source.

     

     

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    Be Yourself 

    We all have our uniqueness and peculiarities, and for that, we have to be ourselves the best way we can.

    It really doesn’t matter if you agree with me on this, but nobody is perfect. While you sit and watch someone else who seems to be too good, always have in mind that such a person has his or her own downside. 

    Having that in mind, you must learn how to be yourself and not someone else. Know who you are and become better at whatever you do. Be the best version of yourself because that’s what self-actualization entails.

    One way to start practicing this is to learn how to focus on you and not others. Don’t always feel the need to impress others. Rather, you should be more concerned about being you, getting better, and living authentically.

    Related: How To Stop Worrying What Others Think And Live Your Own Life

     

     

    Discover Your Purpose 

    One of the best ways to discover how to be happy in life is to find out your life’s purpose.

    As far as life is concerned, there are certain capacities inside us that need to be unlocked. In other words, there are lots of potentials you must explore. And unless you unlock those capacities and discover those potentials, then you can’t boldly say that you’ve found your purpose on earth.

    For instance, you might have certain activities you’re passionate about (things that give you joy and the sense of fulfilment once you do them); be it writing, singing, sport, teaching, etc. Those are probably in line with your purpose in life.

    Once you are unhappy at your place of work, then there is a big possibility you’re in the wrong place. No one is unhappy if what he/she is doing is the exact purpose of their existence! 

    There is this genuine happiness that comes with doing what you love to do. When you find out that you are living your purpose on earth, it brings an unending satisfaction. 

    However, remember that your purpose doesn’t have to be narrowed down to a particular thing. They can be as many as whatever you do that give you peace of mind.

     

     

    Render Help To Others 

    There is a popular notion which points out that we rise when we lift other people. Similarly, when you render help, you will be happier.

    Your question now might be; how will “helping others” make me happy?

    Here is how it works:

    When you help others by giving them your time, resources, or care, it definitely makes them happy. And they will appreciate you. You will feel great when people appreciate your kind gestures. 

    But mind you, helping others doesn’t mean you should be a people-pleaser. After all, you are only helping them out of your own magnanimity, not because you are compelled to do so.

    When it becomes part of you to help others, your confidence keeps growing with every problem you solve. It gives you that awesome feeling of being useful. And hence, as a habitual helper, your happiness and satisfaction in life will be habitual as well.

    Makes sense, right? 

     

     

    Adopt A Healthy Lifestyle 

    Surely, there are ways of life, habits, attitudes, or behaviours that will definitely not encourage a happy life. For instance, when you encounter one of those normal sad moments in life and decide to cure it with alcohol, that’s a good way to damage yourself slowly (especially when you make it a habit). 

    For the record, abusing alcohol (or other hard drugs) as a remedy for sadness has been found to be the major cause of domestic violence, depression, and even suicide! 

    If you really want to deal with those hard times, you can listen to music, read certain books that can uplift you, engage in certain exercises or physical activities and so much more. Such are healthy lifestyles for you.

    Similarly, another healthy activity you should consider initiating is sleeping enough. It’s very unhealthy for you to deprive yourself of sleep. When you sleep between 6 to 8 hours every night, you will wake up happier and stronger the next morning. 

    To add to this, you must also eat healthily. Ration your dietary and nutritional intake. Excessive calories (fats and carbohydrates) aren’t good for your health. Copy that?

    Experts suggest instead that adding more fruits and veggies to your diet will make you stronger. Moreover, ensure your diet is quite balanced! Remember, a healthy lifestyle will keep you physically and mentally strong and of course, that’s a pretty straightforward way to be happy in life. 

     

     

    Learn To Let Go 

    Sometimes holding on to things that are needless can make you an unhappy fellow. Learn to let go of certain things you obviously can’t change. You will be happier and relieved:

    • Let go of fear and anxiety.
    • Learn to let go of resentment and regrets.
    • Let go of uncertainties and doubts.
    • Avoid comparisons. Your life isn’t their life!
    • Forget the past and be more focused on the present and the future.

    By letting go, I can assure you that you’ll feel better as a person. 

     

     

    Meditate Often 

    One of the wisest men that ever lived once suggested that an unexamined life isn’t worth it. According to him, to live such a life is vain. And yep, I agree with him. In order to live a meaningful life, you need to create time to reflect and ponder. 

    The question now is, how will meditation make you happy?

    Well, when you meditate, you condition your brain to enter a peaceful mode and hence, your worries will be reduced. This is because, through meditation, you will be calm enough to connect to yourself and become more aware of yourself.

    It might interest you to know that self-awareness gives you the opportunity to understand your individuality better. Of course, that’s exactly what you need to be happy in life.

     

     

    Final thoughts

    Everything you’ve learned so far is very vital for a happy life. However, you need to always bear in mind that happiness is nothing but a choice. Therefore, in order to experience sustainable happiness in life, the basic step you must take is to DECIDE to be happy, regardless of your circumstances.

     

     

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  • 11 Things To Do As Part Of Your Self Care Night Routine

    11 Things To Do As Part Of Your Self Care Night Routine

    A lot of us have many ways we practice self-care. We tend to manage our bodies in the best way we can in order to be in good shape. We also try to cultivate a positive mindset so that we are mentally sound.  Today I’ll share some tips for you to develop a proper self care night routine to help you do just that.

    Now, the idea of a self care night routine might be new to you. Some may even find it needless, but is it? 

    According to findings, a higher percentage of happy, productive people are those who effectively integrate morning and night self care routines into their lives.

    You may be wondering if it is possible to adopt and master self care habits. Although it requires your conscious effort, certain factors increase your chances of implementing whatever routine you take up;

    • Firstly, you can decide to choose the ones that work for you. Anything you find too difficult can wait.
    • Secondly, you can also decide to only adopt only the things you enjoy. 
    • You can make it as simple as you want.
    • You can adopt only routines that bring some balance to your life.

    Below, I will share 11 things to do as part of your self care night routine. You can use the ones that work for you. I’d like to believe you will live a much happier and fulfilled life if you can keep up with at least some of them. Only if they work for you of course.

     

     

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    1. Draw A Warm Or Cold Bath 

    Your self care night routine can start by drawing yourself a bath – hot or cold – depending on the weather and what suits you at that particular time. This should be done immediately you get home from work. 

    You might have had a stressful day, so the best you can do for yourself is to calm your nerves and relax your muscles by having your bath immediately you get home. Also, make it a habit to brush your teeth before bed. It feels great!

    Have you ever gotten home and been so tired to do anything but to sleep off? I’m sure you enjoyed your sleep, but then how did you feel the next morning?

    Fresh or rancid?

    Strong or tired?

    Well, however you feel the next morning, the bottom line is that you won’t feel your best. Hence, why don’t you make it your bedtime routine to shower, brush, and feel fresh before retiring to bed? Life will definitely feel better.

     

     

    2. Put On Something Comfortable 

    Of course, you don’t want to remain in the same clothes all day! Not only will it make you uncomfortable, but it’s just…not nice.

    Even before you return from work, you are probably yearning to be home already and make yourself a bit comfortable. One good way to ensure such comfort is by changing your work clothes into something more cosy, warm, and comfortable.

    This singular act can help you mark the difference between work and rest. It will make your evening kind of unique and different from the rest of the day.

    When you have a clearly defined wardrobe for work that is different from that of home, you will have a psychological shift once you get home and change into those nighties or pyjamas. You will simply feel at home!

     

     

    3. Create Time For Yourself 

    This is one self care night routine people ignore a lot.

    You might have had a tough time working all day. Perhaps, you even carried some work home to continue. While I won’t condemn such hard work completely, it’s also important to remind you that you really need to create time for yourself… 

    There are a whole lot of things you can do with such “self-time”, but in all, it has to be for your self-care.

    You can start by setting aside an hour (in the evening) to focus on what you love.

    After you have taken your bath and changed into something quite comfortable, the next in line is to spend time on that activity you really enjoy doing.

    I know people who really find writing very interesting. But then you can choose to use this lovely time to watch that fascinating show on TV. 

    You can also decide to listen to those podcasts you’ve been planning to listen to but couldn’t make out time for. What about tuning into your favourite radio station to listen to that program you find quite educative?

    Other activities you should consider are; 

    • Going for a walk 
    • Yoga 
    • Hitting the gym 
    • Creative paintings or other forms of art, etc.

    Actually, your body and mind need such every evening and hence, it will be a massive way to rob yourself if you don’t create the time to do what you find interesting.

     

     

    4. Read Books 

    Consider adopting reading as your night routine, you won’t regret it. 

    Before going to bed, reading is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Reading a fiction/nonfiction book or an interesting storyline can actually be quite fun. 

    To actualize this, you can set a goal to read a specific number of books within a calendar year. 

    The question now is, do you like reading? Why not give it a try?

    Based on research findings, reading has a tremendous way of improving your mental capacity! This is because while reading, you are concentrating, co-ordinating, and at the same time memorizing!

    Besides, it might also thrill you to know that reading is far more effective in reducing the effect of stress than tea or coffee. Moreover, reading the right books can single handedly help you in winning the fight against depression. 

     

     

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    5. Create A Time For Daily Reflection 

    Have you ever considered having time to think and reminisce about your daily events? Actually, it’s a very essential self-care night routine you should adopt!

    Just before you retire to bed, you should dedicate thirty minutes or an hour for meditation. Fifteen minutes is alright too for a start. Reflect on your daily activities; your job, your engagements, your losses, wins, decisions, even your utterances/responses. Think about all of them. Ascertain what you did right and what you need to do better.

    You can do this in the form of journaling. While reflecting, write down all the things you consider noteworthy; both events that made you happy or sad should be well noted in your journal. 

    Journaling is a fantastic way to reflect. It will help you hold on to those happy moments and at the same time, give you the opportunity to ease any sadness that might have accumulated on your mind during the course of the day.

    Related: 20 Deep Self-Reflection Questions To Ask Yourself

     

     

    6. Practice Gratitude 

    When you make gratitude a habit, you won’t only be happier as a person, but you will also find joy in living.

    You don’t have to wait till you win a major contract before you can be grateful. You can simply start by appreciating the little things that happen every day that you usually ignore. For instance, no matter how hard the day gets, you can choose to be grateful you have a roof over your head.

     

     

    7. Adopt A Daily Skin Care Routine 

    There are certain factors that will actually aid your skin. 

    First, if for some reason you couldn’t shower, then before bed, you must wash your face; do away with the make-up on your face if there is any. Sleeping with an unwashed face will keep your face oily. This can accumulate dirt or germs that can cause certain inflammations. 

    Moreover, based on research findings, sleeping with make-up increases the rate at which you age. In other words, night makeup could result in faster aging! Therefore, always wash it away!

     

     

    8. Declutter Each Evening 

    This might feel very tiring, given the fact that you just want to relax every evening. Doing chores is perhaps the last thing you are ready for. But then it’s important to declutter from time to time.

    If you decide to do without regular tidying of the house, I’m sure you can imagine what your home will look like after a while? It will certainly not make you feel good; both physically and psychologically.

    Nothing can put you in a bad mood more than waking up in a dirty environment where the restroom is not encouraging and the kitchen sink is nothing to write home about!

    If you eventually decide to leave it and go about your daily business, you won’t really be comfortable knowing fully well those dirty dishes and untidy rooms are still waiting for you. However, the moment you decide to clean up, the relief you’ll get to feel afterward can only be compared to heavenly salvation.

    A tidy environment brings about a good vibe and energy. It gives your environment a unique kind of freshness. Just imagine how you feel when you lay down on freshly washed sheets… Whew!

    Making this one of your self care night routines is paramount because it is a basic habit that will surely improve the quality of life you live.

    By nature, you are a social being. Therefore, one good way to treat yourself right every evening is by socializing; not just with a random person but with your family. Having a daily evening routine of connecting with your household will keep you in the right frame of mind before bed. You will wake up mentally stronger.

    Being with your family won’t only help you all create that bond, it will also serve as an opportunity to express love amongst yourselves. As a matter of fact, if your household is happy, you will be happier as a person. Consequently, your social life will blossom!

    Now, when you don’t relate with your household in this manner, you might have no reason to leave home a happy person. 

    And if you can’t spend quality time with your family, how sure are you to do so with your business partners or clients?

     

     

    9. Prepare For Tomorrow 

    Someone who prioritizes productivity should always prepare for the next day. 

    Assuming you have an important presentation to deliver tomorrow, it’s obviously advisable to use the previous night to prepare for the big day ahead.

    This will make you ready and equipped and hence, what would have been a very difficult day will be easier and properly handled.

     

     

    10. Routinize Your Bed Time 

    Okay forget the sequence, this is probably the first thing you should consider making your routine. 

    Are you the type that only sleeps when you are done with every other activity? Is your sleeping time irregular or solely dependent on when you are done working? Then, my friend, you have to re-strategize.

    Create a specific time that you MUST go to bed, no matter what. It’s very important for your general wellbeing.

    When you have a regular bedtime, you will maintain a certain level of fitness which will make it less difficult to embark on your daily tasks. As a result, you will be quite productive!

    It’s a fact that you need enough sleep to function optimally, and for that reason, sleeping well every day (based on your schedule) will make your functionality consistent.

    Related: 15 Tips On How To Wake Up Earlier And Not Feel Tired

     

     

    Final thoughts

    Finally, after you’ve spent the whole day striving to make ends meet, taking care of others, working and satisfying your clients, surely, you will feel like slumping onto your bed.

    But then, this rest might be short-lived because you will most likely wake up at midnight, feeling like you left certain things undone. In the end, you might not really have the kind of sleep you desired.

    But when you have a certain self care night routine as discussed right here, you will sleep comfortably knowing fully well that you’ve done the needful.

     

     

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  • 10 Ways To Improve Your Mental Health Starting Today

    10 Ways To Improve Your Mental Health Starting Today

    With everything going on in the world, and how busy our lives can be, it is imperative that you constantly look for ways to improve your mental health.

    Often when people hear about mental health, their first thought is depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and other examples of mental illness. But in reality, mental health goes beyond just diagnosable mental illness.

    According to the World Health Organization, “Mental health is a state of well-being in which every individual realizes his or her potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and can contribute to her or his community.”

    Improving your mental health is as essential as every other part of your well-being. People tend to treat physical illnesses like cancer, diabetes, etc. but ignore their mental health.

    With the constant struggles of life and the crazy things going on in the world today, there is a high tendency that all this would take a toll on your mental health. Therefore, one of the best self-care practices you can do for yourself is to improve your mental health.

     

    Improve your mental health

    Mental health is a person’s emotional, psychological, and social well-being. Your mental health plays a significant role in how you think, feel, deal with situations, and take action.

    It would be hard to live a healthy and fulfilling life if you don’t. Being mentally healthy is a crucial part of living a happy and well-rounded life. By making your mental health a priority, you will be able to live a better life.

    Do everything you can to make your emotional, psychological, and social well-being a priority today,. Your mind and body will thank you for it.

    Not having good mental health can lead to anxiety, depression, post-traumatic disorder personality disorder, eating disorder, substance abuse, and psychotic disorder.

    Below are ten effective and practical ways to improve your mental health!

     

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    1. Make and maintain healthy relationships

    Loneliness is a factor that can contribute to mental health issues such as depression. When you stay by yourself idly for too long, you may begin to entertain depressing thoughts and even form bad habits such as smoking. You must develop healthy interpersonal relationships with your family and friends.

    When you are struggling, and you need someone to help you, don’t be ashamed to ask your family or friends. Asking doesn’t mean you are weak, and it is better than suffering in silence. Be open and honest with your family and loved ones.

    Join a community of people that share your interests either online or offline and try to maintain a healthy relationship with people around you.

    Create a sound support system of people that understand your struggle and help you feel less alone in it. You should also maintain healthy boundaries in your interpersonal relationships so that people will not take advantage of the relationship they have with you either consciously or subconsciously.

     

    2. Constantly practice gratitude

    It is okay to want to have more wealth and material things, but the fact that you wish for more should not make you lose sight of what you have already. Instead of complaining about what you don’t have, you should be grateful for what you already possess and then work towards getting better. Quit complaining.

    You only get depressed, stressed, or anxious when you let negative thoughts cloud your mind. And thinking about all that you don’t have instead of focusing on what you already have will only leave you stressed and depressed.

    One very effective way to practice gratitude is by keeping a journal and writing down all that you are grateful for daily. Spend at least five minutes writing down at least three things that you are thankful for, either big or small. Things such as the air you are breathing, the fact that you can use the parts of your body, etc.

    The more you dwell on positivity, the more your mind adapts to it, and in the end, you will notice that you can think better and do better things for yourself.

     

    3. Forgive and Don’t hold grudges

    One way to improve your mental health is by forgiving someone who has wronged you and not holding grudges. You must learn to forgive and forget. You also need to forgive yourself for any mistake you may have made in the past and regret.
    Don’t dwell on your past mistakes, instead learn from it, let go of it and live better in the now.

    The truth is that no one is above making mistakes. Studies have shown that people who forgive have better mental health and are more satisfied with their lives. When you don’t hold grudges, your mind is free from any form of bitter or negative thoughts.

     

    4. Maintain a healthy diet and sleeping routine

    You need to maintain a healthy diet and sleeping routine if you really want to improve your mental health. Eating a healthy and balanced meal is an essential part of your general well-being. Anything you take into your body affects your mood and overall health.

    Eat lots of fruits and vegetables, drink enough water, avoid taking too much sugar and junk food.

    Make sleep a priority. Try to incorporate going to bed at the same time every day. Create and follow your routine so that you can get quality sleep because it is crucial. Getting quality sleep isn’t only about the number of hours you spend sleeping; it is also about getting a restful sleep that will keep you energized for the day ahead.

    If you are struggling with sleep, you can try out some practices like meditation to help clear your head and calm your mind. Keep your bedroom dark and quiet and resist doing anything except sleeping in your bedroom. But if any of these don’t work, you may need to seek out professional help.

     

    5. Be optimistic every day and do the things you love

    It is easy to think about the things that are not going well in your life, then declare that your life is doomed and quickly fall into depression and anxiety. You need to make a conscious effort to be optimistic and always look on the bright side of things.

    Consistently practice having an optimistic and positive attitude towards life and moving from negative thoughts to positive ones.

    Do the things you love, take up a new creative hobby that will help you feel fulfilled, explore new areas, smile often, laugh, go out and breathe in some fresh air, and just have fun.

    Read self-development books, take yourself out on a sweet treat, listen to your favorite music playlist, do the things you love, and that make you happy.

    Set goals for yourself and work towards achieving them. Pursue your dreams and make them come true. Go out of your comfort zone and try something new and exciting. Just live.

     

    Improve Your Mental Health

     

    6. Relax and take a break when you need one

    It is okay to relax and take a break when you need one; overworking yourself will only leave you stressed out, and stress isn’t good for you. Therefore you need to reassess your priorities and cut back on some work if possible.

    Too much stress or poorly managed stress over a long period can have a detrimental effect on your social, emotional, and physical well-being.

     

    7. Don’t compare yourself to others, stay away from negativity, and learn to say no

    Comparing yourself to other people either via social media or in real life does more harm to your mental health than good. It is the actual devil. Remember that everyone is on their own journey. Regardless of whether you are the same age or if you do the same job, everyone has a different route.

    Give yourself credit for going through life in your way, you’re doing the best you can.

    Learn the difference between being inspired by someone else’s success and comparing yourself to them. The other person may have already gotten to the middle when you were just starting, so quit comparing yourself. 

    Stay away from harmful content and negative people because they will hurt you in the end.

    You must also learn to say no when necessary. Learning to say no is power because it is impossible to say yes to everything and everyone. You will only be shooting yourself in the foot if you do. You will begin to feel overwhelmed and inadequate.

    Learn to say no and don’t feel bad about it. Stop trying to please everyone because it is not possible. Quit being a perfectionist and feeling like you are not good enough. Love your flaws because they make you unique!

    Don’t let other people’s opinions about you dictate your feelings. Always have a positive body image because it will help to improve your self-esteem. Wear clothes that make you feel good.

    Also read my post on how to stop worrying what others think of you if you often let others’ opinions hold you back.

     

    8. Quit unhealthy habits such as taking alcohol and smoking

    If you want to improve your mental health and live a healthy life, you need to quit certain unhealthy habits. Alcohol has a significant effect on your overall well-being and health. It changes your brain chemistry and increases stress and anxiety.

    Cutting down on or quitting smoking and drinking alcohol will serve you well.

     

    9. Exercise regularly

    The positive impact of physical exercise on your mental health cannot be overemphasized. It plays an essential role in helping you to battle with anxiety, depression, stress, and any related condition.

    Exercising can improve your sleep, make you feel more relaxed, and increase your body’s production of endorphins, which can improve your mood. There are different ways you can exercise; it doesn’t have to be a high-intensity routine. It could be as simple as taking a walk or dancing!

    Just look for the form of exercise that you genuinely enjoy so you’ll stick with it. You can also check out my post on ways to be more active without going to the gym for some tips.

     

    10. Get help if you need to

    Some symptoms that you may experience if you have a mental health condition include: Eating too much or too late, sleeping too much or too little, lack of energy, constant mood swings, constantly fighting with your loved ones, feeling confused, forgetful, angry, or on edge.

    You need to take mindful note of your mind and body so that you can identify these symptoms, because you may be anxious, depressed, or stressed without even realizing it.

    To figure things out, you can ask yourself questions like:

    • Am I as interested in everything I used to be interested in?
    • Do I feel more irritated, angry, or on edge than usual?
    • Am I drinking alcohol more than I used to?
    • Has the quality or quantity of my sleep diminished?
    • Has my appetite or weight changed?
    • Do I have less energy than I used to?
    • Have my loved ones commented on any changes in my mood or behavior?

    This is not to strictly ascertain that you have a mental health condition if you experience any of these symptoms, but if they persist, then you should seek professional help.

     

    Final thoughts

    On a final note, when trying to implement the tips mentioned above, you need to be patient with yourself and take things one step at a time. Change won’t happen overnight. But implementing some of the points from this list is an excellent way to start out on your journey to improving your mental health.

    It may take a while to let go of those negative thoughts or completely conquer depression, but once you start out on the journey to being better and you keep at it, the rest will be history.

    Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “You don’t have to see the whole staircase; just take the first step.”

    Learn to do things for yourself and not because someone else said you should. You may have a big life decision to make soon, and your friends and family might have different opinions on it.

    Although it is okay to take their opinions into consideration because they are essential people in your life, you have to make the decision that is right for you, making you happy and improving your quality of life.

    Any other decision apart from this is the wrong one and bad for your mental health because, in the end, your happiness and well-being matter the most.

     

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    Improve Your Mental Health

  • How To Stop Worrying What Others Think And Live Your Own Life

    How To Stop Worrying What Others Think And Live Your Own Life

    As humans, we are wired to always yearn for approval. We are designed to want to belong or integrate into society. That’s why we are regarded as social animals. Therefore, it’s natural if you always want to please people. But how right is it for you? Should you stop worrying what others think?

    Remember, just because it is natural for humans to desire general acceptance doesn’t make it right for you. This is because the world today is a lot more advanced for you to always act based on natural instinct.

    We are past the age of nature, hence, civilization makes it possible to curtail our animalistic tendencies; the tendency to behave like animals (tendency to always want to be part of a pack).

    Although man’s evolution involved group survival, nowadays a man must not be generally loved or accepted for him to exist. You can be who you want to be no matter what others think about you, provided you don’t break any rule.

    Yes, sometimes you might be vulnerable to what people think about you, it’s normal, sort of… However, if you really want to be free, you should try not to worry about other people’s thoughts concerning you. Remember, it’s their thoughts, they’re entitled to that.

    Moreover, when you concentrate too much on people’s opinions, you will definitely forget who you really are… You end up living a false life.

    You will live in lies! And that is not what true existence entails.

    Stop Worrying What Others Think

    One fact we always tend to forget is that no matter what we do, we can only change little or nothing about people’s perception of us.

    Someone else’s opinion about you is subjective. It is personal to them. You shouldn’t be bothered.

    For instance, people can simply hate you because you remind them of someone that hurt them in the past. Such people don’t even hate you because of who you are, but because of their past experience.

    That is why you should not bother to be accepted. People’s perception of you has a lot to do with them than it has to do with you. It has a lot to do with their mindset and past experiences.

    As a matter of fact, it becomes a lot more difficult to understand why someone has a certain opinion about you because you cannot have access to anybody’s head. You can only worry and assume. Now, why go through such stress?

    If you have been trying to own up your life, but you still find yourself living a false life, and trying to impress others, then this article is what you need right now.

    As you read on, you’ll find out the steps you should take to stop worrying what others think.

     

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    1. Emphasize On What Matters

    If you really desire to own up your life and stop worrying what others think, then you must start by focusing on what matters most.

    Fundamentally, the most important thing about your life is what you intend to achieve, that is, your end goal.
    Now, before you consider people’s opinions, check if their opinion will help you in the long run. Will their opinions help you achieve your goals?

    Focusing on the bigger picture instead of the present state of things will make you ignore what people think or say presently…and at the same time, it will give you the motivation you need to live and be your true self.

    After all, it is your life and you know where you are headed, you know your destination. They simply don’t know.

     

    2. Acknowledge Your Vulnerability

    Don’t be scared to accept your vulnerability.

    No matter the reason, always dare to step out of your comfort zone. Don’t fail to bear in mind that everyone has their weaknesses. Therefore, the person who is to criticize you also has his own fair share of insecurities.

    When you shy away from your insecurities or vulnerabilities, you are simply giving room to live in fear of being you. You will always hide your true identity. You will live to impress, and finally, you will live a borrowed life, not yours.

    By acknowledging your weaknesses, you won’t be scared to be yourself. You only need a little time to get better and better until you become the best version of yourself.

     

    3. Always Remember That People Don’t Really Pay Attention

    Before you kill yourself trying to please others, remember that they are not really paying attention to your life.
    Most people have their lives, their problems, and demons they’re battling with. Typically, they have little or no time to scrutinize your life.

    Most opinions people give about you might not really be what they had a deep thought about… It’s probably an instantaneous comment. They really don’t have too much time to think about you.

    Now, why bother yourself? Why stress yourself to live in accordance with an opinion someone gave without thinking?

     

    4. Locate Your Tribe

    No matter how you always fall out with people, no matter how people play down or criticize your actions, no matter how they dislike you or your lifestyle, there are always people out there who still like you for who you are… Locate them.

    If you intend to feel free and be yourself without holding back, then you should not waste time and energy trying to please people who will never feel pleased (neither will they accept you).

    You will end up draining your body and your soul, yet you will achieve nothing. The longer you stay around them, the more you lose yourself, and your life too.

    When you locate your tribe, you won’t only feel free to be yourself, but you’ll also grow in confidence. You will feel more fulfilled, and you will be far happier as a person.

     

    5. Different People, Different Opinions

    There is this popular mantra that “everyone is entitled to his or her opinion” and I can tell you boldly that it is true.

    We all have our different perspectives, opinions, and beliefs, and most times, people’s opinion about you is based on their own perspective, not yours. What works for another man can fail you totally. The road someone else travels smoothly can tumble you a thousand times…

    Be yourself from your own point of view, not from others’ and stop worrying what others think of your own view!

     

    How To Stop Worrying What Others Think

     

    6. You Know Yourself More Than Anybody

    If anybody should know you better, it is you.

    Nobody else is breathing for you. You own your life and you are living it for you, not for someone else. Surely, people must have their perceptions or ideas about you, but your understanding of yourself supersedes any other person’s.

    Therefore, you are free to live your life your way. You are also free to make mistakes, then learn from them and get better.

     

    7. Focus Only On Yourself

    The best way to be yourself is to neglect others and focus on yourself. I know this sounds selfish…and yes it is. Sometimes you’ve got to be selfish for your own peace of mind.

    If you really intend to focus on yourself, start by minding your business… Worry only about your lapses and how to get better. By the time you are more occupied with yourself, you’ll hardly pay attention to other people’s opinions about you.

    You will be more concerned about your own life and how to improve it.

     

    8. Stop Seeking For Validation

    As an adult individual, the only validation you need is the law of your society. Once you obey the law, you typically don’t need any extra validation from random people.

    In order to stop worrying about what others think, you have to stop asking for their opinions about you. Some people are not even qualified to give you suggestions.

    For instance, when you ask an unsuccessful man (that is angry about his situation) for what he thinks about you, there is a high tendency that his reply will be grossly negative. After all, their mindset is negative. They are not qualified to validate you!

     

    9. Don’t Overthink It

    Have you ever found yourself being too anxious, worrying that you did something wrong and got someone you value so unimpressed (probably your crush) — and when you finally met up with him again, you found out that he didn’t even consider what you did and he noticed nothing? That is a typical example of overthinking!

    In that particular case, you got yourself worked up about something that really meant nothing. You started thinking that someone was judging you whereas, he had nothing like that in mind.

    You really don’t need to worry yourself in that manner if you want to be yourself, or if you want to live a life void of pleasing people and displeasing yourself.

    Moreover, unnecessarily mental stress is not good for your social and physical well-being.

     

    10. Be Selective

    Now, consider this important.

    The truth is that no matter how you try to avoid people’s opinions, you will need someone’s feedback at some point in your life… Especially if you are continually working on your personal development. It is not wrong to seek feedback occasionally.
    What is wrong is if you overly depend on such feedback, especially from any random person you see.

    You have to be very selective when it comes to people whose suggestions you require. If not, you will get yourself back to being a people-pleaser.

    There are few positive-minded people out there. Some are even professionals in the field of counselling. Those are the few kinds of people you can get constructive feedback from (when necessary).

     

    11. Remember That Opinions Change From Time To Time

    The earth is not static, it’s changing continuously, the same as everything that is inside of earth; including our thoughts, mindsets, and opinions.

    Now, for the fact that people’s opinions always change, you don’t have to take it too seriously — you never know when it will change.

    When you overly invest in people’s opinions, you might be left stranded when it changes. What a way to disappoint yourself.
    Considering this constant change of opinions, do you really want to undergo the stress involved in buying everybody’s opinion and readjusting to the changes now and then?

     

    12. It Mustn’t Be Perfect

    One of the reasons you are so interested in what people think is because you are engrossed by the need to make things perfect.

    You might be thinking that when you make it perfect, you’ll impress everyone. Unfortunately, that’s not correct.

    It’s high time you accepted that no matter what you do, no matter how perfect you try to make it look, someone must be dissatisfied. Now, if that is the case, why waste your time striving for perfection?

    Well, this is not to discourage you from giving your best when carrying out your duty. Of course, you have to do what you should do, but just don’t stress yourself trying to make it perfect in order to please imperfect people.

    Besides, is there anything like perfection? Is it really obtainable?

    Show me that perfect person and I will show you a person with so many secrets; a person who lives a fake life!

    Always remember that ‘being the real you’ gives room for imperfection because it is the nature of humans to be imperfect…

     

    13. Remember, Life Is Short

    What is the essence of life if not to live happily?

    It is a fact that we have limited time to be alive; why waste your time being unhappy? Why spend your limited lifetime worrying about what others think?

    Life is too short to worry when you should simply be happy!

    Life is too short to live in the shadow of yourself.

    Life is too short to be unreal.

    Life is too short to live another person’s life (to live to impress people)!

    It really sucks to live trying to please people. Nothing can be overwhelming like living according to the dictates of another person.

    The greatest freedom you can ever enjoy is the freedom of being the real you!

    The greatest fulfillment in life is to live originally and authentically. That is what it means to live a fulfilled life!

     

    Last thoughts

    On a final note, you have to strive to live your life without worrying about what people think.

    Although it might be a bit tasking to master the art of being yourself, with deliberate, conscious, and intentional effort, you can do it.

    Just bear in mind that in life, some people will love and cherish you without you trying to please them… While others will hate and despise you no matter how hard you try to impress them.

    Therefore, stop worrying what others think… Live your life!

     

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    How To Stop Worrying What Others Think

  • Journal Prompts For Self Discovery: 35 Questions To Ask Yourself

    Journal Prompts For Self Discovery: 35 Questions To Ask Yourself

    Oprah Winfrey once said, “I was once afraid of people saying, ‘Who does she think she is?’ Now I have the courage to stand up and say “This is who I am”. The question is WHO ARE YOU? Providing answers to this question is very important in life because if we are not careful, we could lose our true identity to situations and events around us or to what people think we are or want us to become. Journal prompts for self discovery can help you to get to know yourself better and prevent this from happening.

    When we lose our identity or fail to get a hold of who we really are, we are less likely to live a fulfilled life and we’ll be more likely to be at conflict within our inner being, give in to social pressure a.k.a following the crowd, be poor in decision-making and ultimately make a mess of our life. Okay…enough of the gory imagery yeah?

    But the question still stands, WHO ARE YOU?

    Journal Prompts For Self Discovery

    35 Journal prompts for self discovery

    To answer the ultimate question of self discovery, all you have to do is create a quiet time and space (away from all forms of distraction), get a pen and book, and ask questions about yourself and note down the answers.

    Don’t be scared to know who you are. It’s good to bear in mind that you are human and you’re allowed some flaws and mistakes, you can only strive to be a better person. So worry less about imperfect answers, this isn’t a fairy tale or Disney story line. Just let the words flow without stopping and without judgement.

    The content of your journal is for your eyes alone, so you don’t have to worry about how people will feel or what they will say about you when they see it.

    Don’t forget, “It takes courage to endure the sharp pains of self-discovery rather than choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last the rest of our lives”.

    The following are 35 journal prompts I’ve put together that would serve as a guide through your journey of self discovery.

    1. Write down a description of how your ideal day would look like.
    2. What are the 5 major decisions you’ve taken in the last 5 years and how have they shaped your life?
    3. Write out 10 things that make you happy.
    4. Write out your strengths and abilities. How do you leverage on them?
    5. Note down your fears, phobias, limitations and obstacles. Take note of how they’ve hindered you in the past and write down how you want to overcome them.
    6. What are the challenges you have faced in the last 10 years? How were you able overcome them?
    7. Write down what your ideal type of life is like. Are there any similarities or differences between that and your present life? Note them.
    8. Write down 5 risks you would like to take. Take note of their implications and benefits.
    9. How often do you take risks? Note down the 5 major risks you have taken, and their implications.
    10. List out 10 major things you have done in the past 5 years that you’re most proud of.
    11. Write out the impact you have made among your friends and in your locality. Write down the impacts you’d like to make in 10 years.
    12. What are the things you’ve done that you won’t like to talk about? Do you still feel guilty about those things?
    13. Write down how you have helped someone in their time of need these past weeks and how you feel about it.
    14. Write out your most toxic trait. Jot down how you’ve been able to manage it. Take note of it’s effects on you and others and write down how you want to do away with them.
    15. If you’re given the chance to go back in time, what 5 things would you like to change 5 years earlier?
    16. What are your desires? Are they in line with your short and long-term goals?
    17. What important lessons have you learnt in the past 5 years? How did they shape your perspective about life?
    18. What makes up your comfort zone? How often do you get out of your comfort zone?
    19. Take note of who your greatest source of motivation comes from and why. Also, ask questions about what gets you on the edge, what’s your greatest drive?
    20. Do you feel a sense of responsibility/belonging towards some things or someone? If yes, kindly take note of their names and why you feel such towards them.
    21. What do you think about yourself? How do you see yourself right now? Write down your perspective about life and how it shaped your thought processes. What advice would you give to yourself right now?
    22. Where do you see yourself in the next 5-10 years? Is that vision realistic?
    23. Write down your short-term and long-term goals and how you want to achieve them. How well are you following the plans you laid out for your goals to be achieved?
    24. What are your hobbies? Describe 5 things you like doing most and why you like doing them.
    25. What skill(s) are you good at? How have you been utilizing this skill to make things better for yourself?
    26. Make a list of the things you’re grateful for and why you appreciate them.
    27. Write down how you handled past pain and discomfort and how you’d handle them now.
    28. Who/what means the most to you and why? List out the names of the people you can count on and write a short note on how they have been there for you.
    29. Write out 10 words of affirmation to yourself.
    30. What do you love about life in general?
    31. Take a moment and write about someone or a moment you will always treasure.
    32. Write down how you felt and what you did when people let you down and how you will handle disappointment from people now.
    33. Write a short note about a day you’ll never forget. What is the significance of that day to who you are now?
    34. Take note of the things you usually anticipate. This may include days and special events you look forward to, what food you’d like to try out, places you’d love to visit, people you’d love to meet and things you’d like to learn.
    35. Write down your biggest goal in life as well as your reasons for wanting to achieve it. What is holding you back? What are you afraid of in pursuing that goal?

    Remember, self discovery helps us to understand our weakness and inabilities and how we can overcome them. It helps us identify our capabilities, our strengths, and how we can foster them and use them to our advantage. It’s a lifetime necessity, don’t lose sight of this fact.

    Whether you are doing this for the first time or you’ve done this before, understand that knowing and expressing who you are will make you happier.

    Having a mind of your own will make social pressure less effective on you, and knowing what’s best for you will assist you in making the right decisions. Self discovery helps us understand and tolerate others and also instill self-discipline in ourselves.

    Also, note that this is not a once-and-for-all thing. As the years go by, we tend to get distracted by a lot of activities, forgetting who we are. Therefore, it is important and advisable you do this once in a while. It will not only give you a sense of direction, but it will also serve as a reminder of who you are.

    Below are some quotes you can think upon during your quiet time. Always remember, be you!

    “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” – Aristotle
    “When you know yourself you are empowered. When you accept yourself you are invincible.” – Tina Lifford
    “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” – Gandhi
    “Your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart give yourself to it.” – Buddha
    “Discovering who you are today is the first step to being who you will be tomorrow.” -Destiny’s Odyssey
    “Find out who you are and do it on purpose.” – Dolly Parton
    “You find peace not by rearranging the circumstances of your life, but by realising who you are at the deepest level.” – Eckhart Tolle
    “You have no need to travel anywhere. Journey within yourself, enter a mine of rubies and bathe in the splendour of your own light.” – Rumi
    “The greatest discovery in life is self-discovery. Until you find yourself you will always be someone else. Become yourself.” – Myles Munroe
    “Know thyself.” – Socrates

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    35 Journal prompts for self discovery

  • 30 Easy Ways To Improve Yourself Little By Little Every Day

    30 Easy Ways To Improve Yourself Little By Little Every Day

    Humans in general have so many limitations most of which are set by the human brain. So basically, they are limits set only by your mind and can completely be overruled if you work on your mindset. You can totally turn your life around with little ways to improve yourself bit by bit every day.

    Limitations of the body such as not having an extra arm to help you clip your toenails while you brush your teeth might be impossible to beat, but when we talk about limitations of the mind, the only limit that actually exists is the one you impose on yourself.

    The mind has unlimited possibilities and if you can unlock these, well, you may just be able to fly (or run really fast, if we’re being realistic).  Each of these little ways to improve yourself will help set every aspect of your life on track, with end results that are beyond satisfying.

    1. Read a good book

    Reading a book generally adds more value to your bank of knowledge. Books contain a lot of information that often you never knew you needed but right after learning them, you start to wonder how you ever lived without them. Try reading a book which has a great stream of reviews or based on recommendations (not something like Fifty Shades Darker of course). You never know what you may gain to improve yourself in the process.

    2. Zone in…or zone out (either way, find your zone)

    Think of your zone as a kind of head space where you get comfortable, a place where you feel the most relaxed with as minimal worries as can be. Visiting this head space often expels negativity while procuring positivity, and having a positive mind will inevitably improve your general self.

    3. Defy fear

    Fear often stops a person from reaching his or her full potential and that’s the very reason I refer to it as the natural enemy of progress. Having fear of a particular outcome will definitely limit your view of solutions to a problem so it’s advised that when in fear, do the exact opposite of what fear is telling you to do. Go all out and explore all possible options, this has proven to help boost the success of many individuals in life.

    4. Perfect your skill set

    Having a set of skills is so important that you may just be irrelevant in the world without one. Improving or honing such skills has helped so many individuals achieve unimaginable feats in their various fields. It’s better to be a one trick pony and be a master of your skill than being a jack of all trades but a master of none. Doing this daily would drastically improve you as a person.

    5. Get accustomed to waking up early

    Getting up during the early hours of the morning gives you an edge over those who wake up late everyday and rush through every morning. It provides you with extra time to get something done or maybe complete unfinished business or better yet practice a certain skill in order to perfect it. This process will open up its benefits to you after performing it for just a short period of time.

    6. Exercise daily

    Working on your physical body has a great impact on your mental health (besides giving you tight abs of course). Physical fitness helps you get to places faster (yes, if you’ve been wondering why you’re slow and get tired after walking a few blocks, well, I hate to break it to you but…you need to exercise!).

    It also helps you look better which is all we really want even though we won’t all admit it. Daily exercise is definitely a necessary step in improving yourself as a person.

    7. Try new challenges

    Taking on new tasks challenges your brain to come up with better ways of solving a problem, generally improving your faculty of thinking, boosting morale and taking success levels higher than before.

    8. Accept your flaws

    Identifying areas where you lack the capability of performing well is the first step in acquiring the skills to solve that problem. The instant you can identify your flaws, you gain the ability to turn them into areas of strengths and we all know that every person out there has his or her flaws. I myself have a few and by few I mean a thousand or so. The moment you actualize this step, you will watch yourself improve beautifully in different areas.

    9. Control your vices

    Every human on earth at the stage of puberty will likely develop a vice or two, unless of course you’re little miss perfect. Vices are sort of bad habits we indulge in at certain times in our lives and most stick with us throughout our life span. An example of a vice would be smoking, drinking, gambling or maybe something seemingly harmless like eating too many sweets or candy. Cutting down on this will improve your health and general well-being.

    10. Learn tolerance

    Sometimes in life, we face complicating circumstances and how we deal with them or respond to them could drastically improve or reduce the quality of the result. That’s why in certain cases we need to learn to be patient, for instance, while waiting on something or receiving an annoying response from another individual.

    11. Learn a strategic game

    Learning a game like chess or checkers will help you improve your ability to think on the spot and come up with valuable solutions to various problems. This skill comes in handy when you are faced with challenging problems, seeing as the game would have trained your brain to think faster.

    12. Cut down TV time

    Yes, television (TV) can be educative sometimes but definitely not all the time. While watching things like news programs on TV can update a person on what is going on in their surroundings, it could also serve as a distraction and can turn into a bad habit pretty quickly.

    Cutting down TV time is necessary in order to create enough time to be productive in other aspects of our lives.

    13. Set a personal challenge

    Putting certain obstacles in front of you slows you down for a while but once you can pull through such challenges, facing them in reality would be ten times easier because you have already faced such a challenge before. This step will improve your problem solving skills.

    14. Cling to top innovators

    When I say cling to top innovators I don’t mean stalk them on their social media pages, monitor their movements and lurk in the shadows behind their homes. Now, that’s just creepy. I mean, cling to the advice they give to the general public since that’s what has gotten them to such heights.

    15. Focus on your goals

    If you have identified goals or feats you are hell bent on achieving make sure no one out there slows you down or tries to stop you from reaching them. Give your goals your full attention and time.

    16. Find inner peace

    The human mind is the base or the foundation of all the processes that go on in the human body, think of it as the engine room in a train. Without it being in perfect order, the train would have difficulties performing at maximum potential.

    That’s the same thing that would happen in the human body. Training your mind is essential in trying to improve yourself everyday and to be able to do this, inner peace must be found and this can be done through different processes like coming to terms with past events or meditation.

    17. Idolize your mentor

    A mentor is someone you look up to and want to be like in life. Achieving this is possible if you follow in his footsteps and do things the way he would, make decisions he would make and even eat things he would eat (okay, maybe don’t be too stalker-ish).

    18. Try writing a book

    Writing a book might sound like a very long and complicated process but it’s actually really possible. Several people over time have done so. Writing helps you explore a whole different world of information, improving many things within you, especially your vocabulary. Try this out and see the fun parts of it start to unravel right before your eyes.

    19. Avoid bad vibes

    When around people or with company, there are certain feelings which can be felt in the air. These can be referred to as “vibes.” A vibe can either make or break a situation depending on whether it’s positive or negative, good or bad. So avoiding people with bad vibes is a great way to protect your own positive vibes. Bad energy…stay far away!

    20. Execute ideas

    Ideas are very good things to have but having an idea and not acting on it defies the entire purpose of coming up with one. If you have an idea, stop coming up with excuses not to act on it. Stop procrastinating. Write that business proposal today, call that acquaintance today, go for that trip today…and shave those legs today!

    If you always come up with ideas and never act on them, you won’t see your ideas become a reality. It’s just so easy to go through life this way, and pretty soon you’re old and looking back on your life wishing you started doing everything sooner.

    21. Realize next to impossible goals

    When setting standards, set them high, even if they are too high for you (not unrealistically high, but you get the point). Doing this will help you grow yourself in order to actualize the goal you have set in place.

    Think of it as putting money on a high shelf so each time you need it you have to do a little hop to get it. With time, you would gain the ability to jump higher than you could before.

    22. Create a schedule

    Being busy is not a bad thing as long as you’re busy improving yourself. Try to allocate different times to different activities in your life, making sure each one gets the required amount of time to see a positive impact.

    23. Ask for reviews or feedback

    Never be too shy to ask another person what they think of your progress or your work so far and don’t feel bad if you get negative reviews. You either win or learn, there’s no losing.

    Negative feedback just means there is a little more work to be done and if all your reviews come out positive then that’s a win-win situation for you as a person, and it proves that what you have been doing actually works.

    24. A little competition is healthy

    Rivalries are common in various fields and have shown more positive results than negative. A rival is someone you would try to beat when giving a solution to a problem, for instance, or just generally try to be better than.

    Now I’m not referring to a batman and joker kind of relationship but something healthier, such that you would both push each other to the point where each of you would have to improve to a certain quality in order to match one another.

    25. Say no to late nights

    Many believe staying up late and even pushing up to the early hours of the morning gives the desired result concerning work or study. On the contrary, doing this may reduce the quality of whatever solution you’re looking to procure. The human body requires 7 to 8 hours of sleep and depriving yourself of that would definitely take a toll on you after a certain amount of time. Instead, go to bed early and start your mornings early.

    26. Try new hobbies

    As mentioned before, trying new things always has a positive effect on the human brain and opens it up to a whole new world of information. So, you really have nothing to lose with trying out new hobbies.

    27. Learn a new language

    This is a very beautiful and fun process to go through while trying to better yourself as a person. Learning a new language can become very useful in different situations and gives you an edge over those who can’t keep up with you because they lack the skill.

    28. Eat healthy

    You will never hear a person complain about being too healthy. With that said, you should definitely add healthy meals to your daily diet. Doing this keeps your brain in good condition to think and your body in a better condition to act, thus improving your daily routine.

    29. Observe your surroundings

    The human mind always tries to get new information from whatever it can pick up which is why whenever you go somewhere new, you tend to helplessly look around, but this is a very good attribute actually. When you observe your surroundings, you tend to know when and how to act in order to match the situation and deliver the best form of results.

    30. Have a little fun or rest period

    Having fun can be done in various ways depending on your personal preference and choices. Some prefer to sit and play games while others prefer to involve themselves in more strenuous activities like playing sports, jogging or even boxing (how random right?). Resting can be put in place of this. Just make sure you give yourself time away from all the work and stress in order to give your brain a chance to recuperate so you come back bigger, better and more attractive (wink wink).

    Try applying these steps in your day to day life and you are sure to see a positive impact in your life as a person. These steps will bring about tranquility, and even if you don’t use them all, try your best to practice at least half of them and expect incredible results.

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    Easy Ways To Improve Yourself Little By Little Every Day

    Easy Ways To Improve Yourself Little By Little Every Day

  • 10 Valuable Things You Will Regret Not Doing Sooner

    10 Valuable Things You Will Regret Not Doing Sooner

    Regret. Seldom is there a more persistent pain than our “if only” memories. It might not be a blazing agony, but this tiny monster claws at the same spot for years. Soon enough, regret sucks the joy from our lives.

    Jeepers, that was depressing. Now, here’s the good news. There’s still plenty of things that you can do to prevent regret.

    10 Things You Will Regret Not Doing

    The following suggestions can also help anyone to deal with any baggage they might already be carrying. Pick a flower, make a cup of tea – and then read this list. Your life is about to get better! Promise.

    1. Treat the Passage of Time as a Gift

    Here’s the thing. You can fight it, deny it or fear it – but that clock is going to keep on ticking. No matter what we feel or do, time goes by. Growing older and watching things change can be scary. But it’s important to shift the way we look at this. You know, regretting the things one might miss out on because time’s running out. This “future regret” comes with a price – you don’t see the wonderful things you already have in your life right now.

    The passage of time doesn’t have to be a fatalistic countdown. It can be a gentle reminder to value what brings happiness in your daily life. More importantly, the things and people that won’t always be there. A few examples are youth, a beloved pet, and our families. Children grow up and fortunes change.

    This is a hard one. Most of us look at our age in a negative way. But the outcome is worth the effort. Be kind to yourself as you start looking at the passage of time as a reminder to appreciate what you have now, instead of fearing the future.

    The moment you start doing this, the grip of regret weakens. At the same time, joy has more space to blossom. You’ll suddenly start finding happy moments in spades – just by having a conversation with a loved one or even watching your child explore mud!

    2. Shake Hands With Discomfort

    The Stone Age mind doesn’t like discomfort. Nope. The Stone Age mind wants shelter, safety, snacks, and no conflict. Oh, dear. Modern times slap that part of our brain with so many unwanted signals, it’s no wonder that people are so stressed out. We worry over family and bills, work situations, our weight, and mortgages. Discomfort in different grades, but they’re all unpleasant.

    Here’s the thing. Feeling that small twinge of dissatisfaction or fear will always be there. It’s human nature. But such feelings can stop people from chasing their dreams and that’s why it’s so important to put a little distance between yourself and discomfort.

    When it comes to doing something important, like taking the next step with one of your goals, chances are that discomfort will loom nearby like a toxic friend. That’s exactly what it is. Our Stone Age brain wants to protect us from risks. It cannot tell the difference between a T-rex chasing you and feeling nervous over starting your own business.

    Remind yourself to shelf discomfort in situations where it’s not needed. Your mood will be more focused and positive, and the task at hand might not seem such a mountain.

    3. Never Underestimate the Power of Patience

    What does patience have to do with regret? Sometimes, a lot. A short fuse or impulsive decision can lead to moments we wish had never happened. Buying the wrong stocks, feeling tired from work and then snapping at one’s spouse or child. Impatience can ruin relationships, finances, and health.

    Don’t worry, you don’t have to be a monk with a diploma in Zen. There’s a simple exercise that can save you a world of trouble. In the beginning it’s hard, especially in the heat of the moment. But chin up, the more you remember to do it, the more you’ll remember to do it.

    Pause. That’s it. When a toddler smears fish-paste over the carpet, most parents are ready to explode. Pausing between a trigger (that fish-paste is not coming out…) and reacting (yelling so hard that people in Russia can hear you) is what prevents regrets. At that moment, you might realize that toddlers are not adults. They often do things they don’t realize are wrong. You might see the benefits of hiding the fish-paste in the future and not leaving it on the table. You might calmly discuss the no-no with them instead of angrily giving in to a punishment that makes you both feel bad when it’s over.

    Pausing gives you the power to choose your best options during volatile moments.

    4. Letting Go of Unhappy Memories

    The past is a major source of regret. It’s filled with big mistakes, tragedies and the times when other people harmed you. Unhappy memories suck, plain and simple.

    To boot, negative emotions are clingy creatures. But here’s the prickly truth – we also cling to them. As painful as these memories are, there’s a tendency to keep vigil over them as if our emotional energy can somehow change something and make it all better. Unfortunately, the past cannot be changed or erased. Pouring emotional energy into such desires only brings fatigue and depression.

    That being said, when it comes to the past you can change two things. First, learn all you can from what has happened. This is to prevent it from happening again. Chalk it up as experience. Secondly, you are allowed to disconnect your feelings from a memory. A past event will always be there. The emotions don’t have to be.

    5. Tweaking Your Life Plan

    A life plan is just a document keeping all your dreams and goals in one place. It also shows the steps you have chosen to realize them.

    Some people write their life plan in a journal. Others prefer something like Google Docs. Whether you go old school with paper or use an online file, do whatever feels right for you.

    A weekly review is a good idea. Think about it. Seven days bring a heap of chores and challenges. There’s a good chance that they’ll derail the steps that you’ve scheduled for your dreams that week. A review can identify the bruised goals and readjust their steps. This tweaking keeps you on track to living your best life ever.

    6. Staying Healthy And Fit

    This tip is all over the internet and with good reason. Without your health, life becomes a lot harder. Good health includes eating well, staying hydrated and getting enough pillow time. Physical exercise is another must, but don’t forget the mind!

    Mental health plays a big role in keeping the body in peak condition. That’s right, relaxation is no longer a treat. It’s a must (hey, who’s going to complain about curling up with a good novel or binge-watching movies?). Our favorite things are like islands in the storm, offering moments of rest and enjoyment. Without them, stress can boil over and fry the immune system. Hello, colds and flu.

    The earlier you start to take care of your health, the better. Then again, starting at a later age is also better than never! Have fun with this one.

    7. Avoiding Toxic People

    Standing your ground is one thing. Trying to reason with online trolls and toxic friends is another. People who push your buttons – the most hurtful buttons – and then blame you for both the push and your reaction are not worth your time. Engaging with them is like being stuck on the hamster wheel from hell. The more you try to reason with them, the worse they behave.

    There is a toxic person in every office, school, and organization. They ruin romantic relationships and friendships – often to the point of devastating their victims. If there’s serious trouble with such an individual, please get the help and support that you need. Indeed, while not always easy or safe, you’ll never regret banning toxic people from your life.

    8. Balancing Work and Life

    There’s nothing wrong with working hard. Jobs keep food on the table and provide for our families. But beware of the lure of overtime at the office or bringing your work home. That’s when an epic regret comes knocking.

    Imagine looking back and thinking, “Where did my life go? How did the years pass so quickly?” Try as you might, you could find yourself struggling to recall the good times with clarity. The last decade could become something of a blur.

    Here’s a scary thought. Anyone is replaceable in the workplace, but YOU have only one life. The lucky ones earn money with hobbies and jobs that they love. But the majority of people hate going to work every day.

    If you cannot jump to a better ship, there’s no reason why you cannot balance work with fun things. Start small, then push back the unnecessary hours that you’re sacrificing at the office. The pay-off is beautiful. The more time you spend with soul-nourishing activities, the slower the years seem to go by – because they’re packed with meaning and enjoyment.

    9. Having a Healthy Relationship With Money

    Another biggie! Having a good relationship with money includes dealing with finances in a responsible manner (whether you have enough moolah or not) and also to reduce any financial pressure. You need a strategy to get out of debt, stay debt-free, put away some savings as well as other assets.

    Needless to say, the more dismal one’s finances are, the longer it might take to form a healthy relationship with it. However, it’s something that can be corrected over time. There’s nothing a good dose of patience and commitment cannot fix. The alternative – a life burdened by financial need – isn’t something that anyone deserves.

    10. Being Independent

    Independence takes many forms. But you’ll never regret the effort to teach yourself the skills to manage on your own. Self-sufficiency makes life easier because you can get things done without having to wait for others or asking for help. That last one can be embarrassing if the person doesn’t really want to assist or uses it as a means to abuse power in a relationship.

    Learning to be independent is natural and a never-ending process. As youngsters, we learn to dress ourselves and later on, learn how to drive a car. But independence is perhaps most valuable in adulthood. Having your own place, keeping up with technology and being able to do small (and big) things for yourself is personally one of the most empowering things that you can do for yourself.

    Sometimes, we don’t have the necessities to become more self-sufficient. There might be no funds to study or move into your own apartment. Perhaps due to health issues, you must also rely on others.

    However, being independent doesn’t mean never needing anyone else, or living alone. When families and friends work together to tackle a problem, it’s a wonderful bonding experience. Plus, teamwork makes difficult things easier to deal with. But independence is a great gift during the times when only you can do a certain task or you prefer to do things on your own.

    Go On, Make Your Life Amazing

    A great life doesn’t need exotic locations and fireworks. Sure, those things add pizzazz but you can have a happy and satisfying life without all the elite trappings. Indeed, sorting out the personal things – your finances, family, goals – bring a more lasting joy than going to the Bahamas for a week.

    A big step is to see regret for what it is. A hungry time-eater and a waste of lives. Another is to remember that regret can be resolved. Even better, you can avoid it in the first place. This list is a great place to start. You are welcome to pick and choose the most useful suggestions and then apply them to your daily life. Most importantly, don’t forget to enjoy learning how to take back your time, passions and life from the Murky Pool of Regrets!

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    Don’t forget to pin this post to your personal development board on Pinterest or share it with your friends. You can also follow my personal development board on Pinterest for more great tips and ideas like these.

    10 Things you will regret not doing sooner