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Tag: self improvement

  • 20 Habits Of Successful Women To Adopt Today

    20 Habits Of Successful Women To Adopt Today

    What does it mean to be a strong, successful woman? The definition of success is of course different for everyone. For some, it’s being financially independent, for others it can be as simple as just being happy. It doesn’t matter what success is to you, what’s important is that you go after what you want so you don’t sit with regrets later on in life. Today I’ll share some important habits of successful women that can help you achieve success quicker.

    So grab a cup of coffee and sit back. In this article, I will be your driver on a trip into the minds of highly successful women. If you want to become like them, read on. 

    Without further ado, here are the top 20 habits of successful women!

     

     

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    1. They practice gratitude

    Gratitude is the quality of being grateful. To the heart, gratitude is like a medicine. In fact, gratitude is so important that meditational exercises aren’t complete without them. And, successful women understand this. 

    So, they hack the benefits.

    When you practice gratitude, you will find yourself automatically focusing on the things that bring joy into your life, while ignoring the heartaches that come with life.

    The truth is that no one has a perfect life. There will always be some form of insufficiencies here and there, whether emotionally, financially, or physically. However, the good news is that life is but a fleeting moment. If there will always be some form of heartache while you live, of what use is living in depression and ingratitude all your life?

    Successful women understand this thoroughly, and so they practice it. 

    How can you do it? 

    Simple!

    Every morning, before beginning your day, get a piece of paper and a pen. Write down 3 things you are grateful for in your career, and then, another 3 things in your personal life. Any time you feel sad or down during the day, refer to this list. Let it be your light in the time of darkness. 

    How does this help? 

    Through gratitude, you develop a positive mindset. And with a positive mindset, you become more fruitful and productive!

     

     

    2. They set goals and stick to them

    Another habit of successful women is the ability to set goals. And not just setting goals, but also following them through. Setting a goal is the first step to turning the invisible into the visible. Through goal setting, successful women have clear-cut targets. These targets give them a sense of direction; a well-designed path to follow on the way to success.

    Now to you! Ask yourself, “What do I want to achieve in the next 12 months? Where do I want to be?”

    No! Don’t attempt to keep them in your head. Write these targets down. 

    Done?

    Now, think of ways through which you could achieve these goals. Yep, it is that easy. That’s one of the simplest habits of successful women. 

     

     

    3. They are constantly working on self-improvement

    A definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again – and expecting a different result. The truth is, success is intentional. No one is successful by chance or luck.

    One of the key habits of successful women is the willingness to continuously improve themselves. Whether it is their spiritual, financial, emotional, or mental intelligence, successful women make sure there is always an addition to their abilities. 

    This way they build capacity for success. 

    Related: 11 Tips On How To Invest In Yourself And Change Your Life

     

     

    4. They make their health and exercise a priority

    Never try overworking yourself. If the goal is maximum productivity, you must learn to take your health seriously. Successful women understand that health is wealth. And, health is truly wealth. An active and healthy mind is always more fruitful (compared to a dull one). 

    Here’s an action tip: Make sure you get at least 8 hours of sleep every night. Also, exercise your body for 30 minutes every day. 

    Related: Easy ways to be more active without hitting the gym

     

     

    5. They are morning angels 

    One of the most obvious habits of successful women is waking early. Since the morning sets the tone for the rest of the day, taking charge of the morning automatically means winning the day. 

    Successful women understand this, and that’s why they get up very early in the morning. Whether it is to crunch a project, or set plans for the day, they conquer their morning. And consequently, have a splendid day!

    Related: 15 Tips On How To Wake Up Earlier And Not Feel Tired

     

     

    6. They know when to take a break 

    Successful women understand the importance of breaks. Work isn’t everything, and they know this. Sometimes, the most productive thing you can do is just to relax. There are times when you will have  to carry out certain tasks, however, the cognitive and emotional strengths will be lacking.

    During these times, always step back from work and take a break. 

     

     

    7.They never give up

    Let’s face the harsh reality of life; the road will not always be smooth! Success has many bus-stops, and one of them is failure. 

    Yes, successful women fail. 

    And fail again…

    And again…

    And again…

    However, they never give up. Afar off, they stare at their goals and do all it takes to take hold of it.  A successful woman would never accept failure and let the weight of the world bring her down! In the wake of adversity, successful women persevere.

    If you want to be like them, acquire this habit too – you would be needing it!

     

     

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    8. They surround themselves with like-minded people 

     A successful woman knows the importance of having like-minded people around her. In this sense, like-minded people are people who share similar goals and ambitions with her. This not only keeps her positive, but it also motivates her to become a better version of herself. 

    You too!

    Make sure the people around you are making you grow. If not, disassociate yourself from them and find some new company.

     

     

    9. They are financial savvy

    They build themselves to attract money. However, they also know how to keep the money. Here’s a truth most people will never tell you: To be rich, it is not about how much money you make, but how much money you can keep. 

    Successful women apply this. So, when building their empire, they also equip themselves with the needed skills to sustain it. Financial intelligence is the key to getting rich. Get it!

     

     

    10. Successful women communicate well

    It goes without saying that we are in the information age. Consequently, money flows where there is information. However, it isn’t enough to have this information, you must also learn the act of communicating it.

    Effective communication skills are one of the skills successful women acquire. Through this, they tend to build lasting relationships.

     

     

    11. Successful women fall in love with the process

    Another pro tip: the joy from accomplishment isn’t gotten from success itself, but from the process. 

    Although success is majorly result-based, a successful woman allows herself to sink into the process because it allows her to blossom and grow.  She loves the learning moments; the hard times and the easy ones. 

    All in all, she allows the process to mold her into what she wants to be. So, when next you see a successful woman, don’t check only the result, but also study the process she took. 

     

     

    12. Minimize distractions

    Whether it is the television or text notifications, distractions are distractions. Distractions only divert your attention from what truly matters to something less important. This way, they keep you from staying on track. 

    Successful women know that to achieve or maintain success, they must always show up for themselves at all times. When it is time for work, they put aside any device – or person – that could be a potential source of distraction. 

    Distraction, in itself, could come in the form of a legitimate event such as a social gathering with friends, or an extremely ridiculous one such as spending all day on Twitter. 

    Either way, I repeat, distractions are distractions. Anything that causes your eye to shift from your goals is a distraction. Put it away. This is one of the habits of successful women that may seem miniscule but is actually very important.

     

     

    13. Successful women do important tasks first

    Not all tasks are equal. 

    In case you aren’t aware, some are less important than others. This fact is irrefutable along with the human race. However, the flexible area of this fact is the difference in ‘what really matters’ to everyone. 

    Successful women come up with a scale of preference. Most times, activities that are more in line with their goals are put above the rest.

     You can too. Come up with a scale of preference that makes your goals more achievable, and do the important stuff first!

    Related: 10 Effective Time Management Tips That Really Work

     

     

    14. They are compassionate and kind

    ‘What goes around comes around.’

    Even though that might sound a little cliché, successful women pay heed to the intricate details of that quote. Simply put, they practice what they would love to receive. 

    In this case, all of them are really kind and compassionate. Being empathic enough to decipher the moods of people and how to approach situations, they grow their relationships into what they want it to be. 

    The old view of being ruthless to succeed is gone!

     

     

    15. Successful women build a killer network

    Relationships are the currency of the 21st century. Successful women do everything within their means to continuously build their network. Instead of shutting everyone out, they welcome people in. Instead of being ruthless and inconsiderate, they are kind and understanding. 

    These and many more qualities, foster the building of good relationships and hence, a killer network. So, stop acting like you can do it all by yourself. The way up, actually, is consciously building a network of professionals and like-minds. 

     

     

    16. They are not afraid of failure

    Failure inspires winners. Failure discourages losers. That is the slang of successful women. Sooner or later, you are going to fail. 

    If you want to be as successful as these women, you must move into a winner’s mindset. 

     

     

    17. They are good listeners 

    A major skill needed for effective communication is an attentive ear. A successful woman listens. She does so not because she is obliged to, but because she wants to understand others’ standpoint.

    By doing this, she gets inspired by their successes and learns from their failures. By learning from others, she becomes better herself and positively influences those around her.

     

     

    18. I can, I can, I can.

    Those are the words of a successful woman. Successful women never give up. Neither are they discouraged by a seemingly insurmountable mountain. Instead, they push. Beyond the obstacle, they push. Until they reach their goal, they push. 

    The phrase, ‘I can’t’ isn’t found in a successful woman’s library. Instead, she looks for ways to make a door out of a rock. 

    Ever persistent, ever courageous, ever brave. 

     

     

    19. Successful women dedicate time to get their lives organized 

    Nope, they don’t jump into the day just like that. A successful woman understands the impact of her environment on her mental health. So, she dedicates time every day to keep her surroundings tidy. 

    The dishes and laundry must always be taken care of. Also, she makes sure her room, home, and office-environment are well-kept. This way, she has the cognitive and mental ability to focus on important tasks of the day without getting bogged down by the environment.

     

     

    20. Successful women never stop reading and learning

    They read, learn, and take action. Read, learn, and take action. 

    And the cycle goes on and on. 

    Successful women are never tired of the learning process. Since taking action is the greatest way to learn, they constantly take action. Whenever she is ignorant about a subject matter, a successful woman asks questions and goes out of her way to educate herself. 

     

     

    For you…

    It is your turn to become a successful woman too! I want to remind you that it is okay if you haven’t developed these habits. In fact, if you could read this piece to the end, there is an iota of a successful woman inside of you. 

    So, train her – constantly monitor yourself; always check to see that these habits are in place. 

    You can do it too. 

    You can become a successful woman too.

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  • How To Remove Negativity From Your Life And Be Happier

    How To Remove Negativity From Your Life And Be Happier

    One moment you could be excited, and the next, you’re down and having the worst thoughts ever. This is a common experience for the many of us today, largely due to all the negativity in our immediate surroundings. Social media, friends, colleagues, even family—just about anything and anyone can be the source of negativity. Sad, but that’s the reality we live in.  That’s why I’ll share some tips today on how to remove negativity from your life so you can be happier.

    It is so important to retreat and deliberately remove negativity from your life! You can even choose to escape from it all for a while. Be it by going offline, or avoiding certain places and people. Whatever the case may be, your mental health is of utmost importance and should not be taken for granted. Never, ever.

    If you are facing negativity in your life or something similar, read on as I walk you through some practical tips on how to remove negativity from your life, for good.

     

     

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    1. Identify your areas of negativity

    This is the first and most important commandment to remove negativity from your life. This entails pinpointing the reasons you might be a negative thinker in the first instance and the areas of your life that tend to spur negative thoughts. 

    In order for you to get a solution, you must admit that you have a problem.

    You can’t identify these areas if you don’t accept that you have negative thoughts. This requires a quiet time of reflection, so it is best if you put it down on paper. Studies have shown that writing things down tends to reduce stress and increase optimism.

    After putting down the possible areas that bring about negative thoughts, you have to change your mindset about them.

     

     

    2. Focus on the optimistic viewpoint, no matter how small

    As there are two sides of a coin, there are also two sides to every situation presented before you—the good and the bad. Find the good aspect of a situation and focus on it.

    Change your mindset. 

    Focus is the key to drifting your mind away from the uncertain “what ifs” to the “what if I can”. In simple terms, what you focus on is what determines it all. For example, if you lost a competition, focus on the knowledge and exposure you have acquired, rather than the “shame” and “lost fame”. This would help relieve the burden of frustration that is likely to sprout.

    Related: How To Have An Abundance Mindset: 10 Habits To Cultivate

     

     

    3. Overcome the fears that hold you back

    The main reason you have negative thoughts is because you fear what could happen if you finally decide to act and most times, you get lost in such thoughts.

    When faced with such fears, here’s what you should do: 

    First off, question the negative thought. To remove negativity from your life, you are not burying every negative thought or emotion that pops up in your mind, neither are you avoiding difficult fallings. 

    They should be faced upfront and questioned. These questions would give you a reality check and bring you up to a positively inclined perspective. 

    For example, often ask yourself this question; “What is the worst that could happen?”

    Most times, if not all, the worst thing that could happen in reality is not as bad as what you imagine it to be. Understanding this fact will help you take action and of course, go a step further in a bid to remove negative thoughts from your life.

     

     

    4. Do not dwell on past mistakes 

    This can be done in two ways:

    i) Let go of past mistakes

     Mistakes from past experiences shouldn’t be the basis of judgment for future occurrences. Most people tend to hold on to their past mistakes and use them to compare with their present or yet to come opportunities, making them think negatively and be reluctant to take action.

    ii) Learn from past mistakes

    It is one thing to let go of previous mistakes and another thing to learn from them. Learn to take previous failures and turn the next opportunity into success. Let it be a source of motivation for you, rather than it forming a bundle of negative thoughts in your mind. 

    Take responsibility for your actions. This will help you own up to your mistakes whenever you encounter any problem in life and overcome the fears that may want to prevent you from taking that big step you have been desiring to take.

    Acknowledging your mistakes will also help you learn from them!

    Where there are failures and disappointments in the previous project, shake them off. Thomas Edison had to try his experiment on the light bulb 1000 times, all of which were failures except the last trial, which was a success.

    Push on. There are always lessons to be learned when failure comes. It is either you are stagnant or you learn and be better. This is one of the most effective ways to remove negativity from your life. 

     

     

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    5. Take it one step at a time 

    Do not try to go too fast. Steady and slow eases stress. If you try to take on too much at a time, it might be overwhelming, and negative thoughts on just about anything might start to well up. 

    Taking things one after the other calms your mind and body, making it easier to think things through and find the optimistic perspective of any and every situation. Stay healthy. Take good care of yourself and only then would you be able to think positively about any situation. 

    Sleeping well, eating well and exercising daily will give you fewer reasons to have negative thoughts and more reasons to be grateful (am I right, or am I right?).

     

     

    6. Never compare yourself with others 

    Ah, the golden rule. This is something natural for all humans. We tend to compare ourselves and then get depressed about it, especially when we are on the “not good enough” end. 

    Some people might seem to have the perfect life, job, spouse, family, or something you desire but can’t have yet, and this causes you to think about all that you haven’t achieved or a previous mistake you made. 

    Whatever the case may be, always remember that all fingers aren’t equal (cliché, but please permit me). You don’t know how long it took to get to that level, what, and how they got to that stage nor the pain and suffering they endured just to attain that status. So, there isn’t any need to get jealous over them or immerse yourself in overwhelming negative thoughts. Be yourself and work hard at what you do. Doing this will make it easier for you to remove negativity from your life.

     

     

    7. Start your day in a positive way 

    How you start your day is very important. This could be done in ways such as:

    i) Performing Activities

     Take some time out in the morning to do things that keep you calm. You could pray, read a novel, do some exercises, listen to soothing music—anything that keeps you cool-headed.

    ii) Self Affirmations 

    These are positive statements that are said repeatedly, often daily. Research suggests that repeated actions program the mind to be inclined in that direction. So, the more these affirmations are said, the more the mind works toward that direction. Choose affirmations that are personally meaningful to you. The affirmations can be “I am the best”, “I am beautiful”, “I refuse to have negative thoughts today”, “I have peace of mind”, and so on.

    Doing these things will give you a positive boost for your day because how you start your morning usually goes a long way in setting the tone for the rest of your day.

    Related: Top 10 Morning Habits To Supercharge Your Day With Positivity

     

     

    8. Create time for leisure

    Here, you can do whatever you love. As simple as it may seem, it can be the hardest because of that project deadline you have to meet up with or your tight schedule which you must follow to the end.

    In all these, try to create time for that which you love to do. When you do something you love, you are distracted from feeling sad or having negative thoughts!

     

     

    9. Spend your time with positive people

    There is a common saying that goes: “Show me your friend and I will tell you who you are”. This implies a lot in positive thinking. Negativity and positivity are contagious. The people you spend your time with should be handpicked by you because you are in a transformation phase.

    Negative energy can send you tumbling back to scratch and I am pretty sure you don’t want that to happen. The people you spend your time with should be people who are cheerful, humorous, and those who can help bring you out even when it seems you are slipping back into negative thoughts. 

    Being around positive-minded people has been shown to improve self-esteem as well as increase one’s chances of achieving goals. Surround yourself with people who can uplift you and remove negative thoughts from your life.

     

     

    10. Bring positivity into the life of someone else 

    Putting smiles on people’s faces can do you more good than it will do them. It will help you get out of your head and any negative thought that is sprouting. It also boosts your self-confidence and self-esteem. By giving you a sense of accomplishment, you are provided with the necessary mind power to take actions without having negative thoughts.

    How do you do this?

    Be kind to others; you could buy lunch for a friend, give a heartfelt compliment on their clothes or style.

    Give a listening ear; a friend might just need someone to listen to his venting. Just listen and try helping out either with advice or just a consolation.

    Contribute your quota to your society. When you can focus on what you have to give to your society, you will feel good about what you have. You could donate to an orphanage home or the construction of a school building.

    This and many more you can do to shift your concentration whenever you see that you are slipping back into negative thinking.

     

     

    11. Let out your feelings

    At the end of your day, it will do you good to write down every unpleasant situation that occurred during the day. This will get it off your mind, preventing any kind of negative thoughts and as well give you a good night’s rest. Sounds like a win-win if you ask me.

     

     

    12. Understand that your positivity lies within you

    Do not rely on any external factor, whether a person or otherwise, to make you happy or spur your positivity. Remember that no one owes you anything. Yes, they might make you happy sometimes but it might not go that way every single time. So, you must understand that only you have the power to focus your mind on being positive. 

    With this mindset, you won’t be hurt whether things go according to your expectations or not.

     

     

    Final thoughts

    Finally, to reiterate, the key to having a positive mindset is first of all accepting that you have negative thoughts. Focus on the renewal of your mindset, see every situation in a positive light as much as you can and you will discover that your consequences, in reality, are not as bad as what you imagined them to be. 

    Try as much as possible never to dwell on your mistakes. Do not use your past mistakes to judge present or future opportunities. Do not try to take too much at a time. Take breaks in between tasks. 

    Stay healthy. Eat, sleep well, exercise daily, and make sure you hydrate yourself to avoid unnecessary weakness and illness. Also, spend your time around positive people who can lift your mood. Bring positivity into the life of other people too by helping out and being kind to them. 

    Make sure you don’t bottle up your feelings. Let it out by writing it down or talking to a close friend about it. Above all, you must understand that your positivity lies within you. Do not rely on anyone to spur your positivity. 

    Removing negativity from your life has several benefits, including higher energy levels and a better outlook on life! This will lower the tendency for you to fall into depression, thereby making you live your life to the fullest while learning and re-learning from the situations life throws at you.

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  • How To Be Happy In Life Despite Your Circumstances

    How To Be Happy In Life Despite Your Circumstances

    The truth is, everyone wants to be happy. That’s why we do all we can to discover the means to be happy.  But happiness is a choice. Today I’ll share some tips on how to be happy in life no matter where you find yourself in your life journey.

    We are wrong about many things we believe about happiness. Most of the places we go, or the things we do, or even the ideas we buy do not guarantee happiness.

    For instance, we all want to be successful in everything we do, in order to be happy. But in reality, we just CAN’T be successful in every aspect of life… There are so many attempts we make that are bound to fail. For that reason, we fail to find happiness in our quest for success!

    Moreover, many of us also chase money by virtually every means all in the hope of finding true happiness in it. Yes, we become happier with the more money we make but such happiness is usually short-lived because;

    • While we make money, we also lose money every day and that doesn’t bring happiness.
    • Even when we keep making money, there are problems money doesn’t solve. In that case, nothing like happiness.
    • Money brings you comfort but also makes you uncomfortable because you will be worried about how to ensure you never go broke again. Research has it that rich people have sleepless nights more than average people. Now, does that depict happiness?  
    • Nobody is seemingly satisfied with the amount he has. The more money you make, the more you want. You can’t call this happiness!

    Besides the ill sides of money, there are many other reasons why you are simply wrong to think that money or success bring true happiness… Because true happiness is not short-lived. It is not a destination, it is also not a permanent state of feeling good. Happiness is not materialistic.

     

     

    How to be happy in life

    With all that said above, what then is happiness?

    To explain this, I would simply say that happiness is when you are content with yourself and your life. Happiness is when you choose to be happy even amidst difficulties.

    Moreover, in order to have real happiness, you have to intentionally make efforts to address all the areas of your life that can trigger your feelings and emotions.

    Now, that brings us to how to be happy in life despite the circumstances you find yourself… Are you ready? Let’s go!

     

     

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    Practice Gratitude 

    More often than not, people insinuate that they will be happy if they acquire something or if a certain thing happens. Unfortunately, that is not the case because happiness doesn’t depend on material or immaterial things. 

    Have you ever heard that happiness is bought?

    Nah, it can’t be!

    Sure, when something pleasant is added to your life, you’re bound to be happy about it. But the question is, will such happiness be sustained? 

    The only way you can acquire sustainable joy is when you are grateful for the things you’ve got already and stay content with them. This way, you’ll realize that those material things are not essential for your happiness. Hence, your source of happiness will become innate.

    Now, let’s be practical;

    Think about those things you really desire to have… The fact that you don’t have them is enough to make you unhappy. But also, think about what you already have at hand that you are grateful for, I’m sure that makes you happier?

    That’s exactly what the power of gratitude is all about. A grateful man is a happier man but a man whose happiness depends on obtaining more has a greater tendency to be sad. Because there is no guarantee that you’d get all you want in life! At least, not without working towards it.

     

     

    Do Away With Negative Thoughts 

    We are all familiar with those waves of negative thoughts or emotions that run across our minds at times… 

    Now, note this; such emotions or thoughts are the greatest enemies of a happy life! Once you can deal with them, then your happiness is assured!

    It might interest you to know that negative thoughts are inescapable as long as life is concerned. It’s normal to have such moments. However, you don’t have to give it room to linger for long. You must learn how to deal with it if you must be happy.

    Harbouring any negative thought or emotion for long will definitely affect how you act and feel over time. Of course, you don’t want this.

     

     

    Walk Away From Toxic Relationships 

    Sometimes, the people you hang around with can influence your emotions. They play a big role in your happiness or sadness. Do you doubt that?

    Okay, how do you feel after spending time with your friends or colleagues who have negative things to say about you? Pretty hurt, I guess. Compare that to the feeling you get when you are around those who have words of motivation and encouragement to offer you. Uplifting, yes?

    That’s exactly why you have to be careful about who you let into your circle! 

    Sure, in life, you will have different kinds of people interacting with you at different times, however, you must be smart enough to know what’s good for you. Remember, it’s all about your happiness.

    Therefore, don’t hesitate to walk away from that toxic relationship. That’s exactly how to be happy in life!

     

     

    Practice Self Love 

    There is no way you can stay happy if you don’t love yourself, because true happiness stems from love. And if you must exhibit love generally, you must start by loving yourself. If you’re of the mindset that you’re not good enough, then you have to start giving yourself some credit. If you can’t, who then do you expect to appreciate you the way you deserve?

    As a matter of fact, in order to learn how to be happy in life, you must start by being happy with who you are. Treat yourself with love, just like you want others to treat you!

    It’s not selfish to love yourself, it’s just a way to set an example to others on how they should treat you. If you fail to love yourself unconditionally, there is no way you’ll find true happiness from any other source.

     

     

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    Be Yourself 

    We all have our uniqueness and peculiarities, and for that, we have to be ourselves the best way we can.

    It really doesn’t matter if you agree with me on this, but nobody is perfect. While you sit and watch someone else who seems to be too good, always have in mind that such a person has his or her own downside. 

    Having that in mind, you must learn how to be yourself and not someone else. Know who you are and become better at whatever you do. Be the best version of yourself because that’s what self-actualization entails.

    One way to start practicing this is to learn how to focus on you and not others. Don’t always feel the need to impress others. Rather, you should be more concerned about being you, getting better, and living authentically.

    Related: How To Stop Worrying What Others Think And Live Your Own Life

     

     

    Discover Your Purpose 

    One of the best ways to discover how to be happy in life is to find out your life’s purpose.

    As far as life is concerned, there are certain capacities inside us that need to be unlocked. In other words, there are lots of potentials you must explore. And unless you unlock those capacities and discover those potentials, then you can’t boldly say that you’ve found your purpose on earth.

    For instance, you might have certain activities you’re passionate about (things that give you joy and the sense of fulfilment once you do them); be it writing, singing, sport, teaching, etc. Those are probably in line with your purpose in life.

    Once you are unhappy at your place of work, then there is a big possibility you’re in the wrong place. No one is unhappy if what he/she is doing is the exact purpose of their existence! 

    There is this genuine happiness that comes with doing what you love to do. When you find out that you are living your purpose on earth, it brings an unending satisfaction. 

    However, remember that your purpose doesn’t have to be narrowed down to a particular thing. They can be as many as whatever you do that give you peace of mind.

     

     

    Render Help To Others 

    There is a popular notion which points out that we rise when we lift other people. Similarly, when you render help, you will be happier.

    Your question now might be; how will “helping others” make me happy?

    Here is how it works:

    When you help others by giving them your time, resources, or care, it definitely makes them happy. And they will appreciate you. You will feel great when people appreciate your kind gestures. 

    But mind you, helping others doesn’t mean you should be a people-pleaser. After all, you are only helping them out of your own magnanimity, not because you are compelled to do so.

    When it becomes part of you to help others, your confidence keeps growing with every problem you solve. It gives you that awesome feeling of being useful. And hence, as a habitual helper, your happiness and satisfaction in life will be habitual as well.

    Makes sense, right? 

     

     

    Adopt A Healthy Lifestyle 

    Surely, there are ways of life, habits, attitudes, or behaviours that will definitely not encourage a happy life. For instance, when you encounter one of those normal sad moments in life and decide to cure it with alcohol, that’s a good way to damage yourself slowly (especially when you make it a habit). 

    For the record, abusing alcohol (or other hard drugs) as a remedy for sadness has been found to be the major cause of domestic violence, depression, and even suicide! 

    If you really want to deal with those hard times, you can listen to music, read certain books that can uplift you, engage in certain exercises or physical activities and so much more. Such are healthy lifestyles for you.

    Similarly, another healthy activity you should consider initiating is sleeping enough. It’s very unhealthy for you to deprive yourself of sleep. When you sleep between 6 to 8 hours every night, you will wake up happier and stronger the next morning. 

    To add to this, you must also eat healthily. Ration your dietary and nutritional intake. Excessive calories (fats and carbohydrates) aren’t good for your health. Copy that?

    Experts suggest instead that adding more fruits and veggies to your diet will make you stronger. Moreover, ensure your diet is quite balanced! Remember, a healthy lifestyle will keep you physically and mentally strong and of course, that’s a pretty straightforward way to be happy in life. 

     

     

    Learn To Let Go 

    Sometimes holding on to things that are needless can make you an unhappy fellow. Learn to let go of certain things you obviously can’t change. You will be happier and relieved:

    • Let go of fear and anxiety.
    • Learn to let go of resentment and regrets.
    • Let go of uncertainties and doubts.
    • Avoid comparisons. Your life isn’t their life!
    • Forget the past and be more focused on the present and the future.

    By letting go, I can assure you that you’ll feel better as a person. 

     

     

    Meditate Often 

    One of the wisest men that ever lived once suggested that an unexamined life isn’t worth it. According to him, to live such a life is vain. And yep, I agree with him. In order to live a meaningful life, you need to create time to reflect and ponder. 

    The question now is, how will meditation make you happy?

    Well, when you meditate, you condition your brain to enter a peaceful mode and hence, your worries will be reduced. This is because, through meditation, you will be calm enough to connect to yourself and become more aware of yourself.

    It might interest you to know that self-awareness gives you the opportunity to understand your individuality better. Of course, that’s exactly what you need to be happy in life.

     

     

    Final thoughts

    Everything you’ve learned so far is very vital for a happy life. However, you need to always bear in mind that happiness is nothing but a choice. Therefore, in order to experience sustainable happiness in life, the basic step you must take is to DECIDE to be happy, regardless of your circumstances.

     

     

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    Hey, if you enjoyed these tips on how to be happy in life despite your circumstances, please take a moment to pin & share this post. I would appreciate it more than you know!

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  • 11 Things To Do As Part Of Your Self Care Night Routine

    11 Things To Do As Part Of Your Self Care Night Routine

    A lot of us have many ways we practice self-care. We tend to manage our bodies in the best way we can in order to be in good shape. We also try to cultivate a positive mindset so that we are mentally sound.  Today I’ll share some tips for you to develop a proper self care night routine to help you do just that.

    Now, the idea of a self care night routine might be new to you. Some may even find it needless, but is it? 

    According to findings, a higher percentage of happy, productive people are those who effectively integrate morning and night self care routines into their lives.

    You may be wondering if it is possible to adopt and master self care habits. Although it requires your conscious effort, certain factors increase your chances of implementing whatever routine you take up;

    • Firstly, you can decide to choose the ones that work for you. Anything you find too difficult can wait.
    • Secondly, you can also decide to only adopt only the things you enjoy. 
    • You can make it as simple as you want.
    • You can adopt only routines that bring some balance to your life.

    Below, I will share 11 things to do as part of your self care night routine. You can use the ones that work for you. I’d like to believe you will live a much happier and fulfilled life if you can keep up with at least some of them. Only if they work for you of course.

     

     

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    1. Draw A Warm Or Cold Bath 

    Your self care night routine can start by drawing yourself a bath – hot or cold – depending on the weather and what suits you at that particular time. This should be done immediately you get home from work. 

    You might have had a stressful day, so the best you can do for yourself is to calm your nerves and relax your muscles by having your bath immediately you get home. Also, make it a habit to brush your teeth before bed. It feels great!

    Have you ever gotten home and been so tired to do anything but to sleep off? I’m sure you enjoyed your sleep, but then how did you feel the next morning?

    Fresh or rancid?

    Strong or tired?

    Well, however you feel the next morning, the bottom line is that you won’t feel your best. Hence, why don’t you make it your bedtime routine to shower, brush, and feel fresh before retiring to bed? Life will definitely feel better.

     

     

    2. Put On Something Comfortable 

    Of course, you don’t want to remain in the same clothes all day! Not only will it make you uncomfortable, but it’s just…not nice.

    Even before you return from work, you are probably yearning to be home already and make yourself a bit comfortable. One good way to ensure such comfort is by changing your work clothes into something more cosy, warm, and comfortable.

    This singular act can help you mark the difference between work and rest. It will make your evening kind of unique and different from the rest of the day.

    When you have a clearly defined wardrobe for work that is different from that of home, you will have a psychological shift once you get home and change into those nighties or pyjamas. You will simply feel at home!

     

     

    3. Create Time For Yourself 

    This is one self care night routine people ignore a lot.

    You might have had a tough time working all day. Perhaps, you even carried some work home to continue. While I won’t condemn such hard work completely, it’s also important to remind you that you really need to create time for yourself… 

    There are a whole lot of things you can do with such “self-time”, but in all, it has to be for your self-care.

    You can start by setting aside an hour (in the evening) to focus on what you love.

    After you have taken your bath and changed into something quite comfortable, the next in line is to spend time on that activity you really enjoy doing.

    I know people who really find writing very interesting. But then you can choose to use this lovely time to watch that fascinating show on TV. 

    You can also decide to listen to those podcasts you’ve been planning to listen to but couldn’t make out time for. What about tuning into your favourite radio station to listen to that program you find quite educative?

    Other activities you should consider are; 

    • Going for a walk 
    • Yoga 
    • Hitting the gym 
    • Creative paintings or other forms of art, etc.

    Actually, your body and mind need such every evening and hence, it will be a massive way to rob yourself if you don’t create the time to do what you find interesting.

     

     

    4. Read Books 

    Consider adopting reading as your night routine, you won’t regret it. 

    Before going to bed, reading is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Reading a fiction/nonfiction book or an interesting storyline can actually be quite fun. 

    To actualize this, you can set a goal to read a specific number of books within a calendar year. 

    The question now is, do you like reading? Why not give it a try?

    Based on research findings, reading has a tremendous way of improving your mental capacity! This is because while reading, you are concentrating, co-ordinating, and at the same time memorizing!

    Besides, it might also thrill you to know that reading is far more effective in reducing the effect of stress than tea or coffee. Moreover, reading the right books can single handedly help you in winning the fight against depression. 

     

     

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    5. Create A Time For Daily Reflection 

    Have you ever considered having time to think and reminisce about your daily events? Actually, it’s a very essential self-care night routine you should adopt!

    Just before you retire to bed, you should dedicate thirty minutes or an hour for meditation. Fifteen minutes is alright too for a start. Reflect on your daily activities; your job, your engagements, your losses, wins, decisions, even your utterances/responses. Think about all of them. Ascertain what you did right and what you need to do better.

    You can do this in the form of journaling. While reflecting, write down all the things you consider noteworthy; both events that made you happy or sad should be well noted in your journal. 

    Journaling is a fantastic way to reflect. It will help you hold on to those happy moments and at the same time, give you the opportunity to ease any sadness that might have accumulated on your mind during the course of the day.

    Related: 20 Deep Self-Reflection Questions To Ask Yourself

     

     

    6. Practice Gratitude 

    When you make gratitude a habit, you won’t only be happier as a person, but you will also find joy in living.

    You don’t have to wait till you win a major contract before you can be grateful. You can simply start by appreciating the little things that happen every day that you usually ignore. For instance, no matter how hard the day gets, you can choose to be grateful you have a roof over your head.

     

     

    7. Adopt A Daily Skin Care Routine 

    There are certain factors that will actually aid your skin. 

    First, if for some reason you couldn’t shower, then before bed, you must wash your face; do away with the make-up on your face if there is any. Sleeping with an unwashed face will keep your face oily. This can accumulate dirt or germs that can cause certain inflammations. 

    Moreover, based on research findings, sleeping with make-up increases the rate at which you age. In other words, night makeup could result in faster aging! Therefore, always wash it away!

     

     

    8. Declutter Each Evening 

    This might feel very tiring, given the fact that you just want to relax every evening. Doing chores is perhaps the last thing you are ready for. But then it’s important to declutter from time to time.

    If you decide to do without regular tidying of the house, I’m sure you can imagine what your home will look like after a while? It will certainly not make you feel good; both physically and psychologically.

    Nothing can put you in a bad mood more than waking up in a dirty environment where the restroom is not encouraging and the kitchen sink is nothing to write home about!

    If you eventually decide to leave it and go about your daily business, you won’t really be comfortable knowing fully well those dirty dishes and untidy rooms are still waiting for you. However, the moment you decide to clean up, the relief you’ll get to feel afterward can only be compared to heavenly salvation.

    A tidy environment brings about a good vibe and energy. It gives your environment a unique kind of freshness. Just imagine how you feel when you lay down on freshly washed sheets… Whew!

    Making this one of your self care night routines is paramount because it is a basic habit that will surely improve the quality of life you live.

    By nature, you are a social being. Therefore, one good way to treat yourself right every evening is by socializing; not just with a random person but with your family. Having a daily evening routine of connecting with your household will keep you in the right frame of mind before bed. You will wake up mentally stronger.

    Being with your family won’t only help you all create that bond, it will also serve as an opportunity to express love amongst yourselves. As a matter of fact, if your household is happy, you will be happier as a person. Consequently, your social life will blossom!

    Now, when you don’t relate with your household in this manner, you might have no reason to leave home a happy person. 

    And if you can’t spend quality time with your family, how sure are you to do so with your business partners or clients?

     

     

    9. Prepare For Tomorrow 

    Someone who prioritizes productivity should always prepare for the next day. 

    Assuming you have an important presentation to deliver tomorrow, it’s obviously advisable to use the previous night to prepare for the big day ahead.

    This will make you ready and equipped and hence, what would have been a very difficult day will be easier and properly handled.

     

     

    10. Routinize Your Bed Time 

    Okay forget the sequence, this is probably the first thing you should consider making your routine. 

    Are you the type that only sleeps when you are done with every other activity? Is your sleeping time irregular or solely dependent on when you are done working? Then, my friend, you have to re-strategize.

    Create a specific time that you MUST go to bed, no matter what. It’s very important for your general wellbeing.

    When you have a regular bedtime, you will maintain a certain level of fitness which will make it less difficult to embark on your daily tasks. As a result, you will be quite productive!

    It’s a fact that you need enough sleep to function optimally, and for that reason, sleeping well every day (based on your schedule) will make your functionality consistent.

    Related: 15 Tips On How To Wake Up Earlier And Not Feel Tired

     

     

    Final thoughts

    Finally, after you’ve spent the whole day striving to make ends meet, taking care of others, working and satisfying your clients, surely, you will feel like slumping onto your bed.

    But then, this rest might be short-lived because you will most likely wake up at midnight, feeling like you left certain things undone. In the end, you might not really have the kind of sleep you desired.

    But when you have a certain self care night routine as discussed right here, you will sleep comfortably knowing fully well that you’ve done the needful.

     

     

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  • 10 Effective Time Management Tips That Really Work

    10 Effective Time Management Tips That Really Work

    There is a popular perception that time is everything; be it money, success, health, progress, life, anything, and everything. Truly, who you are or who you will become has a lot to do with how you’ve been spending your time and how you’ll continue spending it. Today we’ll look at some effective time management tips, because time is unfortunately a limited resource.

    How good tomorrow will turn out depends on how you spend the next 24 hours, including every second and minute. 

    Time management, simply put, is the process of maximizing the usage of time. In other words, it is the way by which we make the most of our time for greater productivity.

    Now, it’s fairly common to hear people complaining that they’re running out of time. It depicts the exact nature of the world we live in… It’s a really busy world. In the survival process, we barely have enough time to keep up with lots of things. That’s simply because many of us lack effective time management skills.

    Really, it might not be all that easy to adopt and stick to a particular time regimen or rule. It’s actually difficult to fully adhere to the principles of time, however, it’s not impossible.

    If you’ve been looking for some time management tips that can really work for you, in this article, you will find exactly what you need. Just read on!

     

     

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    1. Change your Mindset 

    The truth is, whatever step you want to take in life starts from the mind. That is why an Idealist would always argue that before anything becomes real, it has undergone a mental process. In other words, most things that manifest physically are products of someone’s initial thoughts. 

    That being said, you can’t possibly manage your time and accomplish your tasks if you don’t have a productive mindset. This is why having the right mindset is fundamental and hence, it is topping the list. With the right mindset, every other step will easily follow. 

    First, you must take a step into that realm where you believe that you have the capacity to do things and finish tasks. You must believe that you can be productive and achieve your desired results! With a positive mindset, your day will start on a good note. You won’t doubt your ability to accomplish those tasks you’ve set for yourself; you just go ahead and embark on them.

    Now, one key strategy to change your mindset to a positive one is by being more optimistic than pessimistic. Don’t give room for doubt.

    If it becomes a bit difficult to change your mindset, then you can gradually learn to do so. There are lots of books out there that you can grab and read. They’ll help you so much you’ll wish you had read them earlier.

     

     

    2. Let Your Focus Be Very Clear From The Start Of The Day 

    The first thing you should think about when you wake up is the most important task for the day. It should occupy your mind. This will enable you to know exactly what tasks to carry out for the day and how to go about it.

    To achieve this, you have to be more creative. Ensure you take advantage of the early hours of the morning to meditate. This period is best suited for mental works because you’ll be in the right frame of mind. Plus, you will be better energized.

    Now, think of those things you have to do for the day. Write them down.

    Secondly, rank the tasks according to their level of importance. 

    After that, you can now start thinking about how to carry out those tasks; each and every one of them. One after the other.

    If you can get clear on what to focus on for the day, then you’re sure going to manage your time effectively that day.

     

     

    3. Wake Up Early 

    This is probably the best time management tip you can embrace. I simply call it a hack.

    When you wake up early, you will be able to plan your day earlier. As a result, you will start your day early too. Early rising will give you the opportunity to finish up your daily tasks because you will have enough time at your disposal.

    In order to wake up earlier and feel good, you have to ensure you sleep early enough. If you can adopt the habit of sleeping at most by 9 P.M, by 5 o’clock, you should have slept for 8 hours which is perfect for your body.

    In a situation where you find it difficult waking up early, you can set an alarm at a realistic time that you can maintain. However, in whatever you do, make sure you sleep enough because there is no way you can be sound enough to embark on your daily activities without getting enough sleep.

    Remember, a popular saying has it that a person who sleeps early and rises early will be healthy and wealthy (that’s what productivity entails).

    If you want to become an early riser but need some guidance, check out my post on how to wake up earlier and not feel tired.

     

     

    4. Track Every Activity

    Whatever activity you embark on every day, track it. This will ensure you know what you are doing right and where you are not getting it right… With this, there will always be room for improvement. Tracking your activities with respect to time will basically see to it that you allocate the right time to each and every task of the day.

    For instance, if you realize that you’ve spent over 4 hours on movies, you can readjust the next day to spend just 2 hours on it. The extra 2 hours can be used for something more productive.

    There are apps that can help you achieve this particular time management tip. Using such an app and having it open at all times can help you track your activities every day. You can also use it to view your calendar weekly, monthly, or yearly.

    You just have to make effective use of your calendar to track your events or tasks. And to make it easier for you, you should consider making use of any of the numerous mobile or desktop apps that are available.

     

     

    5. Stop Being A People-Pleaser 

    This is a bold step to take if you really want to own your time and your life entirely.

    Is it even possible to know what you should do and how you should do it if all you think about is to impress others?  The answer is simply, NO. 

    You will be far from knowing how to manage your personal time if you are a people-pleaser.

    For instance, if you are hell-bent on appearing perfect to people, you will end up channelling your time and energy into doing their biddings. You will only engage in activities that impress them and not you.

    It’s understandable that as humans we naturally want to be accepted and loved; we want to integrate and feel attached to somewhere or something. However, you should know how to curtail your natural instincts by making intentional decisions. If not, you are no better than other wild animals. After all, animals are all products of nature and most of them are social too. 

    The difference between you and a random animal is that you have a mind of your own and can decide when to please yourself and when to please others.

    Now, for you to maximize your time and be more productive, do not fill your schedule with activities that satisfy people who don’t really care about you but only care about what you can do to please them.

    Rather, embrace more tasks that really matter to you. By so doing, you will be able to take perfect control of your time, your life, and existence.

     

     

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    6. Use The Principle Of Elimination 

    This principle typically suggests that you should carry out only:

    • Realistic tasks 
    • Achievable tasks 
    • Important tasks 
    • Feasible tasks 
    • Productive tasks

    Once the task doesn’t fall under any of the above, then you should consider eliminating it.

    In order to ascertain if the tasks you consider carrying out falls under any of those categories, you have to ask yourself the following questions;

    • Can I do without this particular activity?
    • Is this task something I can accomplish?
    • Can I handle this?
    • How important is this task?
    • Can it wait till later?
    • How vulnerable am I if I don’t complete this task?
    • Am I in any way indebted to anyone if this is left undone?
    • Can this task be automated? Etc.

    By considering all these, you will not only be readier, but you will also be able to know what task to prioritize and the ones that can wait. As a result, you will have a greater capacity to complete the most important tasks.

     

     

    7. There Must Be Rules 

    Set some rules that will enable you to achieve the results you desire. One of the most effective time management tips you should embrace today is making use of certain rules to guide you on the usage of time. When you create rules for yourself, they will act as checks or restrictions to your lapses when it comes to managing your time.

    For example, you can give yourself rules like:

    • No T.V once it’s 9 P.M because that’s time for bed 
    • No Social Media once it’s 8:30 P.M because you need to stay off your phone 30 minutes before bedtime. 
    • No PlayStation during weekdays; this will enable you to channel your time to a more productive task

    Setting up simple rules like the ones mentioned above can go a long way to make your life simple. There won’t be unnecessary time wastage if there are such checks!

     

     

    8. Plan Your Week Ahead 

    This is probably one of the most fundamental time management tips you should take advantage of. You can use Sundays for this activity (to plan the week ahead). Assign days and time to each task at hand. This will give you a blueprint of what your week is going to be like. Check out my guide on things to do every Sunday for a productive week for more guidance.

    There is nothing more important than preparation and there is no better way to get prepared than to plan. Walking into your tasks for the week with a plan will not only get you ready, but you will also be focused on your priority-tasks. 

    Moreover, with a plan ahead, it will be far easier to switch from a weekend mood that is carefree to Monday mood that is work-oriented. 

     

     

    9. Plan Your Day Ahead

    You can simply use 25 minutes to plan each day immediately you wake up from sleep. A perfect way to create this daily plan is through the use of a to-do list. Write down every activity using bullet points. To be more positive about this, you should write each task as if it’s already been completed.

    For example, instead of writing “Make a blog post on time management tips”, you should write something like “Blog post on time management tips completed”.

    By writing down your tasks this way, you’ll be motivated to get them done. 

     

     

    10. Avoid Distractions 

    If you really want to manage your life effectively, then this particular time management tip should be very vital to you. A whole lot of times, we fail to accomplish tasks not because we don’t have the capacity to, but because we are always distracted. 

    You have to deal with those factors that don’t work in your favour to get things done. If there is this hobby or event that drains your time, yet it doesn’t help you to achieve other tasks, then it’s a distraction. Shun it!

    Another way to avoid distractions and get important work done is by avoiding multitasking. Endeavour to take your tasks one after the other (just according to your to-do list). You will be amazed at how much you will finally accomplish by the end of the day.

     

     

    Final thoughts

    Finally, if you must live a life that is fully accountable, then you need to learn to use your time productively. And there is no better way to do this than following some (if not all) of the tips discussed above. Oh, you’re welcome.

    Related reads:

     

     

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  • 10 Ways To Improve Your Mental Health Starting Today

    10 Ways To Improve Your Mental Health Starting Today

    With everything going on in the world, and how busy our lives can be, it is imperative that you constantly look for ways to improve your mental health.

    Often when people hear about mental health, their first thought is depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and other examples of mental illness. But in reality, mental health goes beyond just diagnosable mental illness.

    According to the World Health Organization, “Mental health is a state of well-being in which every individual realizes his or her potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and can contribute to her or his community.”

    Improving your mental health is as essential as every other part of your well-being. People tend to treat physical illnesses like cancer, diabetes, etc. but ignore their mental health.

    With the constant struggles of life and the crazy things going on in the world today, there is a high tendency that all this would take a toll on your mental health. Therefore, one of the best self-care practices you can do for yourself is to improve your mental health.

     

    Improve your mental health

    Mental health is a person’s emotional, psychological, and social well-being. Your mental health plays a significant role in how you think, feel, deal with situations, and take action.

    It would be hard to live a healthy and fulfilling life if you don’t. Being mentally healthy is a crucial part of living a happy and well-rounded life. By making your mental health a priority, you will be able to live a better life.

    Do everything you can to make your emotional, psychological, and social well-being a priority today,. Your mind and body will thank you for it.

    Not having good mental health can lead to anxiety, depression, post-traumatic disorder personality disorder, eating disorder, substance abuse, and psychotic disorder.

    Below are ten effective and practical ways to improve your mental health!

     

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    1. Make and maintain healthy relationships

    Loneliness is a factor that can contribute to mental health issues such as depression. When you stay by yourself idly for too long, you may begin to entertain depressing thoughts and even form bad habits such as smoking. You must develop healthy interpersonal relationships with your family and friends.

    When you are struggling, and you need someone to help you, don’t be ashamed to ask your family or friends. Asking doesn’t mean you are weak, and it is better than suffering in silence. Be open and honest with your family and loved ones.

    Join a community of people that share your interests either online or offline and try to maintain a healthy relationship with people around you.

    Create a sound support system of people that understand your struggle and help you feel less alone in it. You should also maintain healthy boundaries in your interpersonal relationships so that people will not take advantage of the relationship they have with you either consciously or subconsciously.

     

    2. Constantly practice gratitude

    It is okay to want to have more wealth and material things, but the fact that you wish for more should not make you lose sight of what you have already. Instead of complaining about what you don’t have, you should be grateful for what you already possess and then work towards getting better. Quit complaining.

    You only get depressed, stressed, or anxious when you let negative thoughts cloud your mind. And thinking about all that you don’t have instead of focusing on what you already have will only leave you stressed and depressed.

    One very effective way to practice gratitude is by keeping a journal and writing down all that you are grateful for daily. Spend at least five minutes writing down at least three things that you are thankful for, either big or small. Things such as the air you are breathing, the fact that you can use the parts of your body, etc.

    The more you dwell on positivity, the more your mind adapts to it, and in the end, you will notice that you can think better and do better things for yourself.

     

    3. Forgive and Don’t hold grudges

    One way to improve your mental health is by forgiving someone who has wronged you and not holding grudges. You must learn to forgive and forget. You also need to forgive yourself for any mistake you may have made in the past and regret.
    Don’t dwell on your past mistakes, instead learn from it, let go of it and live better in the now.

    The truth is that no one is above making mistakes. Studies have shown that people who forgive have better mental health and are more satisfied with their lives. When you don’t hold grudges, your mind is free from any form of bitter or negative thoughts.

     

    4. Maintain a healthy diet and sleeping routine

    You need to maintain a healthy diet and sleeping routine if you really want to improve your mental health. Eating a healthy and balanced meal is an essential part of your general well-being. Anything you take into your body affects your mood and overall health.

    Eat lots of fruits and vegetables, drink enough water, avoid taking too much sugar and junk food.

    Make sleep a priority. Try to incorporate going to bed at the same time every day. Create and follow your routine so that you can get quality sleep because it is crucial. Getting quality sleep isn’t only about the number of hours you spend sleeping; it is also about getting a restful sleep that will keep you energized for the day ahead.

    If you are struggling with sleep, you can try out some practices like meditation to help clear your head and calm your mind. Keep your bedroom dark and quiet and resist doing anything except sleeping in your bedroom. But if any of these don’t work, you may need to seek out professional help.

     

    5. Be optimistic every day and do the things you love

    It is easy to think about the things that are not going well in your life, then declare that your life is doomed and quickly fall into depression and anxiety. You need to make a conscious effort to be optimistic and always look on the bright side of things.

    Consistently practice having an optimistic and positive attitude towards life and moving from negative thoughts to positive ones.

    Do the things you love, take up a new creative hobby that will help you feel fulfilled, explore new areas, smile often, laugh, go out and breathe in some fresh air, and just have fun.

    Read self-development books, take yourself out on a sweet treat, listen to your favorite music playlist, do the things you love, and that make you happy.

    Set goals for yourself and work towards achieving them. Pursue your dreams and make them come true. Go out of your comfort zone and try something new and exciting. Just live.

     

    Improve Your Mental Health

     

    6. Relax and take a break when you need one

    It is okay to relax and take a break when you need one; overworking yourself will only leave you stressed out, and stress isn’t good for you. Therefore you need to reassess your priorities and cut back on some work if possible.

    Too much stress or poorly managed stress over a long period can have a detrimental effect on your social, emotional, and physical well-being.

     

    7. Don’t compare yourself to others, stay away from negativity, and learn to say no

    Comparing yourself to other people either via social media or in real life does more harm to your mental health than good. It is the actual devil. Remember that everyone is on their own journey. Regardless of whether you are the same age or if you do the same job, everyone has a different route.

    Give yourself credit for going through life in your way, you’re doing the best you can.

    Learn the difference between being inspired by someone else’s success and comparing yourself to them. The other person may have already gotten to the middle when you were just starting, so quit comparing yourself. 

    Stay away from harmful content and negative people because they will hurt you in the end.

    You must also learn to say no when necessary. Learning to say no is power because it is impossible to say yes to everything and everyone. You will only be shooting yourself in the foot if you do. You will begin to feel overwhelmed and inadequate.

    Learn to say no and don’t feel bad about it. Stop trying to please everyone because it is not possible. Quit being a perfectionist and feeling like you are not good enough. Love your flaws because they make you unique!

    Don’t let other people’s opinions about you dictate your feelings. Always have a positive body image because it will help to improve your self-esteem. Wear clothes that make you feel good.

    Also read my post on how to stop worrying what others think of you if you often let others’ opinions hold you back.

     

    8. Quit unhealthy habits such as taking alcohol and smoking

    If you want to improve your mental health and live a healthy life, you need to quit certain unhealthy habits. Alcohol has a significant effect on your overall well-being and health. It changes your brain chemistry and increases stress and anxiety.

    Cutting down on or quitting smoking and drinking alcohol will serve you well.

     

    9. Exercise regularly

    The positive impact of physical exercise on your mental health cannot be overemphasized. It plays an essential role in helping you to battle with anxiety, depression, stress, and any related condition.

    Exercising can improve your sleep, make you feel more relaxed, and increase your body’s production of endorphins, which can improve your mood. There are different ways you can exercise; it doesn’t have to be a high-intensity routine. It could be as simple as taking a walk or dancing!

    Just look for the form of exercise that you genuinely enjoy so you’ll stick with it. You can also check out my post on ways to be more active without going to the gym for some tips.

     

    10. Get help if you need to

    Some symptoms that you may experience if you have a mental health condition include: Eating too much or too late, sleeping too much or too little, lack of energy, constant mood swings, constantly fighting with your loved ones, feeling confused, forgetful, angry, or on edge.

    You need to take mindful note of your mind and body so that you can identify these symptoms, because you may be anxious, depressed, or stressed without even realizing it.

    To figure things out, you can ask yourself questions like:

    • Am I as interested in everything I used to be interested in?
    • Do I feel more irritated, angry, or on edge than usual?
    • Am I drinking alcohol more than I used to?
    • Has the quality or quantity of my sleep diminished?
    • Has my appetite or weight changed?
    • Do I have less energy than I used to?
    • Have my loved ones commented on any changes in my mood or behavior?

    This is not to strictly ascertain that you have a mental health condition if you experience any of these symptoms, but if they persist, then you should seek professional help.

     

    Final thoughts

    On a final note, when trying to implement the tips mentioned above, you need to be patient with yourself and take things one step at a time. Change won’t happen overnight. But implementing some of the points from this list is an excellent way to start out on your journey to improving your mental health.

    It may take a while to let go of those negative thoughts or completely conquer depression, but once you start out on the journey to being better and you keep at it, the rest will be history.

    Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “You don’t have to see the whole staircase; just take the first step.”

    Learn to do things for yourself and not because someone else said you should. You may have a big life decision to make soon, and your friends and family might have different opinions on it.

    Although it is okay to take their opinions into consideration because they are essential people in your life, you have to make the decision that is right for you, making you happy and improving your quality of life.

    Any other decision apart from this is the wrong one and bad for your mental health because, in the end, your happiness and well-being matter the most.

     

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    Improve Your Mental Health

  • How To Stop Worrying What Others Think And Live Your Own Life

    How To Stop Worrying What Others Think And Live Your Own Life

    As humans, we are wired to always yearn for approval. We are designed to want to belong or integrate into society. That’s why we are regarded as social animals. Therefore, it’s natural if you always want to please people. But how right is it for you? Should you stop worrying what others think?

    Remember, just because it is natural for humans to desire general acceptance doesn’t make it right for you. This is because the world today is a lot more advanced for you to always act based on natural instinct.

    We are past the age of nature, hence, civilization makes it possible to curtail our animalistic tendencies; the tendency to behave like animals (tendency to always want to be part of a pack).

    Although man’s evolution involved group survival, nowadays a man must not be generally loved or accepted for him to exist. You can be who you want to be no matter what others think about you, provided you don’t break any rule.

    Yes, sometimes you might be vulnerable to what people think about you, it’s normal, sort of… However, if you really want to be free, you should try not to worry about other people’s thoughts concerning you. Remember, it’s their thoughts, they’re entitled to that.

    Moreover, when you concentrate too much on people’s opinions, you will definitely forget who you really are… You end up living a false life.

    You will live in lies! And that is not what true existence entails.

    Stop Worrying What Others Think

    One fact we always tend to forget is that no matter what we do, we can only change little or nothing about people’s perception of us.

    Someone else’s opinion about you is subjective. It is personal to them. You shouldn’t be bothered.

    For instance, people can simply hate you because you remind them of someone that hurt them in the past. Such people don’t even hate you because of who you are, but because of their past experience.

    That is why you should not bother to be accepted. People’s perception of you has a lot to do with them than it has to do with you. It has a lot to do with their mindset and past experiences.

    As a matter of fact, it becomes a lot more difficult to understand why someone has a certain opinion about you because you cannot have access to anybody’s head. You can only worry and assume. Now, why go through such stress?

    If you have been trying to own up your life, but you still find yourself living a false life, and trying to impress others, then this article is what you need right now.

    As you read on, you’ll find out the steps you should take to stop worrying what others think.

     

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    1. Emphasize On What Matters

    If you really desire to own up your life and stop worrying what others think, then you must start by focusing on what matters most.

    Fundamentally, the most important thing about your life is what you intend to achieve, that is, your end goal.
    Now, before you consider people’s opinions, check if their opinion will help you in the long run. Will their opinions help you achieve your goals?

    Focusing on the bigger picture instead of the present state of things will make you ignore what people think or say presently…and at the same time, it will give you the motivation you need to live and be your true self.

    After all, it is your life and you know where you are headed, you know your destination. They simply don’t know.

     

    2. Acknowledge Your Vulnerability

    Don’t be scared to accept your vulnerability.

    No matter the reason, always dare to step out of your comfort zone. Don’t fail to bear in mind that everyone has their weaknesses. Therefore, the person who is to criticize you also has his own fair share of insecurities.

    When you shy away from your insecurities or vulnerabilities, you are simply giving room to live in fear of being you. You will always hide your true identity. You will live to impress, and finally, you will live a borrowed life, not yours.

    By acknowledging your weaknesses, you won’t be scared to be yourself. You only need a little time to get better and better until you become the best version of yourself.

     

    3. Always Remember That People Don’t Really Pay Attention

    Before you kill yourself trying to please others, remember that they are not really paying attention to your life.
    Most people have their lives, their problems, and demons they’re battling with. Typically, they have little or no time to scrutinize your life.

    Most opinions people give about you might not really be what they had a deep thought about… It’s probably an instantaneous comment. They really don’t have too much time to think about you.

    Now, why bother yourself? Why stress yourself to live in accordance with an opinion someone gave without thinking?

     

    4. Locate Your Tribe

    No matter how you always fall out with people, no matter how people play down or criticize your actions, no matter how they dislike you or your lifestyle, there are always people out there who still like you for who you are… Locate them.

    If you intend to feel free and be yourself without holding back, then you should not waste time and energy trying to please people who will never feel pleased (neither will they accept you).

    You will end up draining your body and your soul, yet you will achieve nothing. The longer you stay around them, the more you lose yourself, and your life too.

    When you locate your tribe, you won’t only feel free to be yourself, but you’ll also grow in confidence. You will feel more fulfilled, and you will be far happier as a person.

     

    5. Different People, Different Opinions

    There is this popular mantra that “everyone is entitled to his or her opinion” and I can tell you boldly that it is true.

    We all have our different perspectives, opinions, and beliefs, and most times, people’s opinion about you is based on their own perspective, not yours. What works for another man can fail you totally. The road someone else travels smoothly can tumble you a thousand times…

    Be yourself from your own point of view, not from others’ and stop worrying what others think of your own view!

     

    How To Stop Worrying What Others Think

     

    6. You Know Yourself More Than Anybody

    If anybody should know you better, it is you.

    Nobody else is breathing for you. You own your life and you are living it for you, not for someone else. Surely, people must have their perceptions or ideas about you, but your understanding of yourself supersedes any other person’s.

    Therefore, you are free to live your life your way. You are also free to make mistakes, then learn from them and get better.

     

    7. Focus Only On Yourself

    The best way to be yourself is to neglect others and focus on yourself. I know this sounds selfish…and yes it is. Sometimes you’ve got to be selfish for your own peace of mind.

    If you really intend to focus on yourself, start by minding your business… Worry only about your lapses and how to get better. By the time you are more occupied with yourself, you’ll hardly pay attention to other people’s opinions about you.

    You will be more concerned about your own life and how to improve it.

     

    8. Stop Seeking For Validation

    As an adult individual, the only validation you need is the law of your society. Once you obey the law, you typically don’t need any extra validation from random people.

    In order to stop worrying about what others think, you have to stop asking for their opinions about you. Some people are not even qualified to give you suggestions.

    For instance, when you ask an unsuccessful man (that is angry about his situation) for what he thinks about you, there is a high tendency that his reply will be grossly negative. After all, their mindset is negative. They are not qualified to validate you!

     

    9. Don’t Overthink It

    Have you ever found yourself being too anxious, worrying that you did something wrong and got someone you value so unimpressed (probably your crush) — and when you finally met up with him again, you found out that he didn’t even consider what you did and he noticed nothing? That is a typical example of overthinking!

    In that particular case, you got yourself worked up about something that really meant nothing. You started thinking that someone was judging you whereas, he had nothing like that in mind.

    You really don’t need to worry yourself in that manner if you want to be yourself, or if you want to live a life void of pleasing people and displeasing yourself.

    Moreover, unnecessarily mental stress is not good for your social and physical well-being.

     

    10. Be Selective

    Now, consider this important.

    The truth is that no matter how you try to avoid people’s opinions, you will need someone’s feedback at some point in your life… Especially if you are continually working on your personal development. It is not wrong to seek feedback occasionally.
    What is wrong is if you overly depend on such feedback, especially from any random person you see.

    You have to be very selective when it comes to people whose suggestions you require. If not, you will get yourself back to being a people-pleaser.

    There are few positive-minded people out there. Some are even professionals in the field of counselling. Those are the few kinds of people you can get constructive feedback from (when necessary).

     

    11. Remember That Opinions Change From Time To Time

    The earth is not static, it’s changing continuously, the same as everything that is inside of earth; including our thoughts, mindsets, and opinions.

    Now, for the fact that people’s opinions always change, you don’t have to take it too seriously — you never know when it will change.

    When you overly invest in people’s opinions, you might be left stranded when it changes. What a way to disappoint yourself.
    Considering this constant change of opinions, do you really want to undergo the stress involved in buying everybody’s opinion and readjusting to the changes now and then?

     

    12. It Mustn’t Be Perfect

    One of the reasons you are so interested in what people think is because you are engrossed by the need to make things perfect.

    You might be thinking that when you make it perfect, you’ll impress everyone. Unfortunately, that’s not correct.

    It’s high time you accepted that no matter what you do, no matter how perfect you try to make it look, someone must be dissatisfied. Now, if that is the case, why waste your time striving for perfection?

    Well, this is not to discourage you from giving your best when carrying out your duty. Of course, you have to do what you should do, but just don’t stress yourself trying to make it perfect in order to please imperfect people.

    Besides, is there anything like perfection? Is it really obtainable?

    Show me that perfect person and I will show you a person with so many secrets; a person who lives a fake life!

    Always remember that ‘being the real you’ gives room for imperfection because it is the nature of humans to be imperfect…

     

    13. Remember, Life Is Short

    What is the essence of life if not to live happily?

    It is a fact that we have limited time to be alive; why waste your time being unhappy? Why spend your limited lifetime worrying about what others think?

    Life is too short to worry when you should simply be happy!

    Life is too short to live in the shadow of yourself.

    Life is too short to be unreal.

    Life is too short to live another person’s life (to live to impress people)!

    It really sucks to live trying to please people. Nothing can be overwhelming like living according to the dictates of another person.

    The greatest freedom you can ever enjoy is the freedom of being the real you!

    The greatest fulfillment in life is to live originally and authentically. That is what it means to live a fulfilled life!

     

    Last thoughts

    On a final note, you have to strive to live your life without worrying about what people think.

    Although it might be a bit tasking to master the art of being yourself, with deliberate, conscious, and intentional effort, you can do it.

    Just bear in mind that in life, some people will love and cherish you without you trying to please them… While others will hate and despise you no matter how hard you try to impress them.

    Therefore, stop worrying what others think… Live your life!

     

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  • 15 Tips On How To Change Your Life For The Better

    15 Tips On How To Change Your Life For The Better

    Are you feeling a bit lost in life? Or maybe just feel like you’re not really where you want to be? That’s okay, everyone feels that way at some point or another. Today I’ll share some tips with you on how to change your life for the better when you feel like you need a change.

    One fact we all must have acknowledged is that life is a mystery. This is because life has a lot of facets which make it totally unpredictable.

    Many times, we make plans and we try as much as we can to organize each and every step we take. We try to speculate and be proactive in order to be one step ahead. We understand the contingencies associated with life, so we try as much as possible to create a plan B, C, and D.

    However, many times, to our greatest dismay, life still comes up with something totally different which we never expected or even have a clue about, despite our plans and counter-plans! We then find ourselves in a position that can be best described as “shambles”!

    This explains why a lot of people argue that a man can propose, but only life itself can dispose. That’s the position every human is in. We all have our fair share of life’s dynamism.

     

    How to change your life

    No doubt, you must have found yourself in one of those tight corners at some point. Presently, you might even be battling with one difficulty or another.

    You might also see a lot of people who seem comfortable and happy (many of them are not even super-rich but they look like they’ve got no problems in life); now, you may start wondering if everyone is actually passing through issues or if your life is just different from others.

    Well, just so you know, we all have our respective problems. Each and every one of us has different (peculiar) issues just as our faces are different.

    Such is life.

    But then, the difference between you and those who seem to be buoyant, happy, and comfortable, (even amidst adversities and hardship) is that they have mastered the art of transformation which helps them to constantly navigate and adapt to the fluxes of life.

    Do you intend to master this art too? Do you want to learn how to change your life for the better?
    Then you have to brace up because it requires constant practice. It might be a bit discomforting because there are adjustments that must be made.

    But hey, let’s get started! Here are 15 tips to help you improve your life:

     

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    1. Readjust Your Mindset

    There is this popular saying that if you want to change the world, you should change yourself first. This is because you are a part of the greater universe.

    Now to change yourself, you have to start by changing your mind. This is because your attitude, character, decision, indecision, and actions are all products of your mind. Your individuality is forged by the kind of mindset you have.
    If things are becoming unbearably discomforting and you want to know how to change your life for good, then start by readjusting your mindset.

    Being a bit more positive-minded about life will go a long way to drag your life towards the positive end.
    Although it can be a bit difficult to stay positive amidst the problems of life, it’s very possible.

    But how?

    Firstly, remove your doubts and be positive about who you want to be and how you want to live your life. Where you could have said “I can’t” learn how to say “I Can”. That’s an exemplary way of initiating the required change of mindset…

    And It is only when you have this clear and positive mindset that you can commence your journey towards a better life.

     

    2. Give Your Life A Meaning

    A life of reason is a meaningful life.

    At this point, you have to ask yourself what reason you live for. Because understanding the reason for your existence makes everything quite easier!

    It is easier to wake up in the morning and step out of your home if you have something to live for. Now, are you in that situation where you’re no longer sure if you still have a reason to live? Then you can actually create one for yourself.

    Whatever definition or meaning you give your life (whether creating more wealth, staying happy, or finding love) becomes a good reason for you to keep striving and believing. This will give you a deep sense of purpose. And with that, your steps will be directed towards a meaningful life.

     

    3. Build Your Future From This Moment

    There is no way you can truly change your life for good if you keep dwelling on the sad events of the past! You need to recreate those sad yesterdays. And to do that, you have to learn from those mistakes and put them right this time around.

    Funny enough, our brains can be tricked. Our brains are wired to be repetitive. That’s why many times, we don’t learn from our mistakes; we tend to take that wrong step over and over again…

    However, there is no better moment to break that jinx than NOW.

    Start building your future differently from this moment. That is typically an indicator that you’ve learned how to improve your life. It will only get better and better.

     

    4. Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone

    This is where it gets crucial. This is a very necessary step to take if you really want to experience better days ahead. For your personal development, you have to acquire new experiences. However, often, the new experiences that are needed for your personal development are not pleasurable.

    This is in line with a popular slogan that denotes that without pain, there won’t be gain. In other words, you will gain a lot (of knowledge, experience, or wealth) doing things that are really not comfortable for you.

    Hence, if you yearn for a better tomorrow, you have to take a step out of that place that makes you too comfortable.

     

    15 Tips On How To Change Your Life For The Better

     

    5. Embrace Self-love

    Love yourself unconditionally because elsewhere, nobody really cares. Nobody enjoys being deserted by others, but it’s far more lonely if you desert yourself. Therefore, learn how to love yourself.

    The best way to start practicing self-love is by professing positively to yourself. Just stare at the mirror and profess your love to the image before you… It feels great!

    Another way to exhibit self-love is by taking good care of yourself, your health, your emotions, your thoughts.

    Truly, if you can treat yourself a bit more nicely, your life will definitely change for the better.

     

    6. Mind What You Eat And How You Eat It

    Do you know that certain diets you live on are catastrophic to your health and entire life? Eating heavily before bed (especially carbohydrates) can make your sleep irregular. Consequently, you wake up weak and the entire day will be unproductive for you.

    Also, excessive intake of fats can increase the level of cholesterol in your body which puts you at risk of developing heart problems. Moreover, depending so much on alcohol will never make your life better, instead, it does the opposite. It destroys your organs and over the years, it might result in life-threatening diseases.

    In a nutshell, mind what you eat and how you eat it; good food can greatly improve the quality of your life.

     

    7. Worry Less About What Others Think

    Actually, it shouldn’t be your business what others think about how you’ve chosen to live your life. It’s impossible to control people’s thoughts or influence their opinions about you. It can only turn you into a people-pleaser.

    Now, trying so hard to please people will simply drain you emotionally, psychologically, and physically. Besides, you will end up living for others and not for yourself.

    Let me make this clear; to worry about what people think is a total waste of energy and time. For that reason, why not channel that energy and time towards improving yourself instead?

    The moment you decide to live an authentic life (void of people’s unnecessary opinions), that’s when you make a breakthrough.

     

    8. Adopt Productive Routines

    If you intend to live a transformed life, you can start by adopting routines that drive you towards that direction. For instance, when you make “early sleep and early rise” a routine, your life will certainly improve in many different ways. You will not only get healthier, but more energized and productive.

    Another productive routine you can adopt is regular exercise. Of course, you already know how important it is for your health and physical fitness.

    Moreover, reading good books and listening to helpful podcasts can really sharpen your brain and make you versed in knowledge.

    In fact, there are a whole lot of activities you can adopt to improve yourself as a person… And you can’t really say that you’ve realized how to change your life if you don’t routinize those activities.

     

    9. Shun Unproductive Mindsets

    Now, you don’t only have to adopt a productive lifestyle, you also have to shun those lifestyles or mindsets that don’t add to your life’s value.

    For instance, there are 7 mindsets that won’t allow you to grow as a person. They are:

    • Perfectionism
    • Being judgmental
    • Pessimism
    • Self-doubt
    • Anxiety
    • Ingratitude, and
    • Hypersensitivity.

    All of the aforementioned can simply be referred to as killer mindsets (not a good thing). They don’t make you productive, rather, they reduce your capacity as a person. Eliminate them.

     

    10. Learn To Commit To Others

    Commitment is not necessarily easy. But when you finally get good at it, your self-confidence will receive a major boost. This is simply because you will be highly dependable.

    Of course, you know that when people depend on you often, you feel more useful and responsible. Imagine the confidence that comes with that? Pretty great stuff.

     

    11. Optimize Your Life Through The Use Of Constraints

    There is no better way to live your desired life than to optimize your life. You can do this with the use of certain constraints. But first, write out all the things you WANT in life. Then assess them carefully to ascertain your actual NEEDS.

    Naturally, we all tend to want more, but we fail to consider all we already have at our disposal. We fail to acknowledge the fact that our basic needs have been met already.

    The moment you start living within the constraints of what you already have, then you’ll be content enough to stay happy and appreciative; even while chasing those bigger goals.

     

    12. Focus

    In this sense, focus means that you should concentrate on a few activities and master them, instead of taking up a lot of tasks and then dabbling in all!

    Although you might be presented with lots of opportunities, just choose the right one for you and perfect it.

    Focusing on that which matters most will not only give you mastery, but it will also reduce unnecessary worries or stress involved in multitasking. Then finally, you will achieve that which matters most in your life.

     

    13. Set The Goal

    One basic way to give your life a sense of purpose is by setting a goal that you intend to achieve. You don’t just have to dream and envision that transformed life that you want to live, you have to take action towards it.

    You can only do this if you set out short-term, medium-term, and long term goals for yourself.

    It will simply give you a clear direction towards a better life… Your dream life.

     

    14. Let It Be One Goal At A Time

    Make it a realistic goal. Take it one step at a time. You will more likely achieve that one goal (that you put in all your effort) than multiple goals.

    Chasing a lot of goals is unnecessary if you are in a position where you are trying to put your life together.

    Moreover, remember that your goal can always take a twist from time to time. Now, by concentrating on a single goal at a time, you can easily navigate and adapt immediately when such changes occur.

     

    15. See Growth As A Lifetime Process

    Once you start seeing growth as a continuous process, then you will be patient enough to withstand the difficulties you may encounter along the line.

    Also, the perception that personal development is a life-long process will give you the zeal to seek for improvement always, for as long as you live.

    What else do you need in order to transform your life if not to improve continually? Surely that’s how to change your life for good. It’s a perfect way to start living a fulfilled life!

     

    Final thoughts

    Finally, it’s quite understandable how stressful it can be to apply all the tips discussed above. But you can choose just as many as you can and START implementing them.

    Remember, to change your life is a gradual and continuous process. Therefore, always take it one step at a time.

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    15 Tips On How To Change Your Life For The Better

  • How To Get Out Of A Rut In Life And Get Back On Track

    How To Get Out Of A Rut In Life And Get Back On Track

    As long as you are a human on earth, then you will relate to this. Virtually everyone has that moment of turbulence, that period of trials, that time when everything is seemingly in shambles. When you find yourself in such a situation, when you feel stuck in problems, how do you deal with it? Do you remain in self-doubt or do you find ways of shaking it off and bouncing back? We share our top tips on how to get out of a rut in life if you’re feeling stuck and how to get back on track.

    How to get out of a rut in life

    One fact is that life itself operates based on balance. At least if you observe closely, you’ll notice that. For every “A”, there is a “Z”. Also, for every rain, there is sunlight, for every darkness, there is light and for every beginning, there is an end.

    You might have been dealing with some real-life issues; like when you have several pressing needs, yet your finances are not encouraging. You see yourself far from achieving your goals, your relationship is in shambles, or maybe you are nowhere near where you desire to be. Now, you feel too helpless because, despite all this chaos, you still have no clue about what to do next.

    Always remember that those things are part of life. They happen from time to time. But they don’t last forever because life is a movement. Nothing is constant or permanent!

    You just have to keep your head high and hang on until the better days arrive. That is the greatest way to dance to the different tunes of life. Also, that’s a good way to maintain the balance that is needed to keep surviving.

    You might not necessarily put an abrupt end to those difficulties. You just have to learn how to gradually shake them off, or manage them whenever they come.

    However, it is actually not so easy to find a way out of those difficulties. It’s often a challenge to get back on track. Yes, that’s understandable.

    But the good news is that it is very possible to get out of a rut in life. And as a matter of fact, that is the aim of this article (who would’ve guessed?). Let’s get started!

     

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    1. Examine Your Life To Ascertain Where, Why And How You Are Stuck

    Yes, this is very crucial in those trying times. When you feel low-spirited, you obviously need some quiet time for yourself. You need to examine your life and assess your thoughts. Therefore, you should create the best time for you to meditate and think about this.

    This meditation is important because you have to find out where you are stuck and how. It’s probably the most important step to take if you want to move forward.

    While you reflect, ask yourself some questions like:

    • What do I need to fix?
    • Which area of my life is pulling me down?
    • What do I need to quit?
    • What are those things that no longer serve me?
    • Why exactly am I stuck?
    • What is the way forward?
    • What am I doing right and what am I not doing right?
    • Do I own my choices or are my choices dependent on others?
    • What are those things that distract me?
    • Do I care enough for myself, and my well being?
    • Is there light for me at the end of the tunnel?

    These questions will obviously make you understand the situation better.

    By meditating in this manner, you will find out WHERE and HOW you went wrong, and hence, you can easily know WHY you are stuck.

    That is a fundamental step to take to get to a solution.

     

    2. Find Out The Things You Can Control

    It is certain that there are things that are beyond your control in life. Paying attention to such things and trying so hard to control those things will only be counterproductive.

    It’s high time you focused on only those things you can control or change. It will save you a lot of energy to be more productive.

    The best way to ensure that you stick to only what you can control is by seeking to understand;

    • Your behavioral makeup,
    • Who you really are,
    • Your disposition, and finally,
    • Your strengths and weaknesses.

    When you become self-aware in this manner, you can easily know what you can control and what you can’t. Only then can you channel your energy towards the things you can control and get the results you’re looking for.

     

    3. Find Out Your Abilities And Use Them Where They Are Required

    Now, this is very important. Especially if you are yet to acknowledge your abilities.

    If you are into any activity, be it a job or a business, and you feel sad or unfulfilled, that means you are in the wrong place. It simply means your abilities don’t lie there. In other words, that is not where you are meant to be.

    You have to figure out where your skills lie and chase it. Make maximum use of your abilities and stop wasting them where you shouldn’t. As a matter of fact, one of the reasons you’re in that rut is because you are in a place where your skills or abilities are not appreciated.

    Therefore, discover your abilities and utilize them where they are required. You will certainly get out of that situation and become happier and fulfilled.

     

    4. Be Positive

    Remember, most times when you are passing through hard times, your motivation drops. You become more pessimistic than ever. You doubt yourself to the core… That is exactly why you remain in that rut! Because you have this negative voice in your head telling you that you can’t step out.

    Those same negative thoughts will give you a thousand excuses to remain in that dull, nasty situation.

    Until you fight those negative thoughts, until you become more positive about yourself, and until you start believing you can change your situation, then you can’t get out of that dark place.

     

    5. Make It Fresh!

    Many times, when life gets too boring, we fail to discover why. Sometimes, this is because we search for the reasons or solutions far away. It may be unknown to us that our problem is just within our territory and that the solution is not far-fetched.

    A good example that befits this situation is living in an old room and using the same furniture for decades. If you occupy such a room, then you should not be surprised when your life feels strangely boring.

    The environment you stay in can go a long way to affect your mood and general feelings. A neat environment will always make you happier. Therefore, take action and act differently this time.

    You can start by changing that old furniture and doing some de-cluttering. You can change the look of things in the house by repainting the walls. Also, consider new decorations, and so on.

    The idea is to make a difference. You may not know, but those little things matter a lot.

     

    6. Discover The Source Of Your Inspiration

    When you are inspired, you will surely make a change. Your life will be transformed for good. Now, the best way to get out of a rut in life is to discover the source of your inspiration.

    Some people get inspired by reading motivational books or listening to podcasts that tell motivational stories. Yours might be to travel to a new place or to visit a museum and see some lovely artefacts.

    There are lots of things that can inspire you, even things you never expected. Just try and find out what those things are. Once you do, you’ll see how interesting life will get.

     

    How To Get Out Of A Rut In Life And Get Back On Track

     

    7. Try Out Something New

    You’ve obviously been doing stuff, but all your actions only take you round and round the same spot. You’ve been repeating the same thing that doesn’t work for you, and hence, your life became so boring over time.

    Now is the right time to effect a change. Try something new. Go out of your normal circle, try something outside the box! By trying something new, you will get exposed to greater opportunities. You will have other options to try out. Dare to step outside of your comfort zone, that is the only place where growth happens.

    Moreover, there is no better route to self-discovery than trying out something new. Remember, there are thousands of capacities in you, it only takes you to keep delving into different things to discover those capacities.

     

    8. Embrace The Law Of Attraction

    The main idea behind this law is that we bring upon ourselves what we channel our minds and energy to.

    Life is all about different auras, vibes, and energies. Also, it’s a fact that you get what you give… When you give out positive energy, you attract positive energy. However, the moment the energy you emit is negative, all you’ll get in return will be negative.

    Always remember that what you perceive your reality to be is what it becomes. It is now left for you to perceive your reality from a positive angle.

    To ensure this, you have to embrace the law of attraction. It will help you shift your mindset towards the positive end. Ultimately, this will drive you to achieve whatever you want.

     

    9. Let Go Of Past Unpleasant Memories

    Now, this is the best tip for you to bounce back from that uneasiness and get back on track.

    When you keep considering those nasty episodes that’s already in the past, there is no way you can bounce back, and consequently, you will not move on… You’ll simply remain stuck!

    You have to find a way to let go of those memories. Though it might be difficult, you just have to put an effort towards it.
    One way to make it easier for yourself is to get something more fun to think about whenever you have such unpleasant flashbacks. Get a new routine and dedicate those dull times to your new routines. You will surely feel better and move on for good as time goes on.

     

    10. Stay Motivated

    Are you anxious and really confused that you question almost everything? Also, do you keep doubting yourself or your ability to make a difference or reach your full potential?

    Most particularly, you basically lack the urgency and drive to take a step out!

    Well, being in that kind of condition can really get you stuck. That is because your drive and enthusiasm are declining or probably because you are afraid to fail.

    The one way to change this situation is to find a reason to keep pushing.

    And how can you do that?

    It’s simply by staying motivated. But how?

    Of course, there are lots of reasons to get back up and put yourself together. That same reason you are afraid to fail is the same reason you should get up and face your doubts and fears. You can always make your doubts and fears become your greatest motivation. Don’t let those keep you down!

     

    11. Love And Appreciate Yourself

    There is no way you can get yourself in one piece in order to get out of a rut in life if you don’t appreciate yourself.
    Although it is very difficult to really love and appreciate yourself in those hard times, if you must get out of that situation, you must learn to see the good in you and appreciate it.

    You can start by looking at the mirror and telling yourself things like;

    • I’m bright and so is my future,
    • I am beautiful/handsome,
    • I’m smart,
    • I don’t give up,
    • I always bounce back,
    • I’m positive about life, etc.
    • Yes this is hard, but I can do hard things,
    • I might not be where I want to be, and that’s okay, I will get there in time.

    Even if those lovely things you tell yourself sound unreal to you, don’t stop saying them every day. With time, it will definitely get into your mind and you will eventually start to believe and appreciate yourself for good.

    One of the reasons self-love is important to you is because it will boost your self-confidence. When you have confidence in yourself, you become more positive about your personality, your life, and even the people around you. With this kind of positive mindset, you will start to believe that you can achieve anything.

    Now, what else do you need to get out of a rut in life if not to always believe you can?

    That is the power of a positive mindset that comes with self-love!

     

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    Final Thoughts

    Always remember that no matter the problem, no matter the situation, no matter how complicated it is, you can always make it out!

    That rut in your life is just a phase. You can always get out of it if you get your mindset right, take the right actions, believe in yourself a little more, and stay motivated!

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  • 10 Things To Do Before Bed Every Night As Part Of Your Evening Routine

    10 Things To Do Before Bed Every Night As Part Of Your Evening Routine

    Having a good evening routine can ensure you get enough rest and set you up for success the next day. Today we’ll look at 10 things to do before bed that you should try and make part of your evening routine.

    After having that long, stressful day at work, you probably can’t wait to get home and relax, reunite with your family and get ready for the next day.

    On the other hand, it’s also possible that you are so occupied that you rarely think of going home or relaxing. You have lots of engagements, in fact, “sleep” is the last thing on your mind.

    Well, do you know that among all the things that are required to keep living fine, you really need sleep? Funny enough, enjoying a good night’s rest seems to be one of the easiest activities you can freely engage in. However, getting a really good rest is often not as easy as it sounds.

    You must have heard people complaining of having sleepless nights due to; 1) Some Psychological health conditions like insomnia and anxiety, 2) Situations like having too much workload or 3) Other issues and challenges of life.

    It feels relieving though to acknowledge the fact that most of these conditions above can be resolved by adopting some simple strategies, routines and lifestyle changes.

    There are quite a number of necessary things to do before bed each night if you want to get a good rest and ultimately live a good life.

     

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    1. Put your body in the best condition

    The first step to always take in the evening before bed is to prepare your body and condition yourself to be in the best physical state before sleep. I’m sure the question you’d be asking right now is “How?”

    Of course, there are numerous ways you can condition your body to enhance sleep. Some of the many ways are:

    Firstly, engage in simple exercises like stretching and twisting in the form of or similar to yoga. This is important especially if you sit in front of a desktop at work for over 8 hours every day. Stretching out will definitely make you feel better and will also relieve you from the resulting body aches due to extended hours of sitting. You’ll be better conditioned to sleep afterwards.

    After you have completed the exercise, bathing is another activity that sets your body in the mood for sleep. That soothing feeling you derive from drawing a warm bath can only make you relax and sleep with ease. Also, make it a routine to brush your teeth every night before bed. You will surely feel refreshed the next morning.

    Another way to put your body in the best state for sleep is by dressing comfortably to bed. Ensure your nightwear is not too tight (yep, even if you need to look sexy when you go to bed, go for loose-fitting clothes). Preferably, the clothes should be made of cotton material. This will ensure you don’t feel too hot or too cold at night.

     

    2. Put your mind in the best condition

    You don’t only get your body ready for sleep but your mind too. One simple way to condition your mind for sleep is to clear it of all the problems, anxiety and mental stress you experienced during the day. In order to achieve this:

    • Meditate and reflect on your daily activities.
    • Write in a journal.
    • Record your wins and losses.
    • Map out ways you intend to recover from the losses.
    • Take a deep breath and reassure yourself that you will get better.

    If you are religiously inclined, another good way of reflecting and meditating is by saying silent prayers before bed. While praying, you will definitely think and remember your daily achievements and be thankful for them. Also, you’ll remember your losses and ask God to take control over the situation. Therefore, you can also pray before you sleep at night if it brings you comfort.

     

    3. Put your sleeping environment in the best condition

    Another thing to do before bed is to set a comfortable environment for sleep.

    • Make your bed.
    • Ensure your sheets are clean and smell nice.
    • Switch off the lights or ensure the room is dimly lit.
    • Tidy the room.
    • Ensure the room is well ventilated.
    • Make the temperature not too cold or hot.
    • Limit noise to its barest minimum.

    Conditioning your room in this manner will make sleeping more pleasurable. Also, adopting this as a lifestyle will make you peaceful, happier and healthier.

     

    4. Watch your foods and beverages

    The type and quantity of food we eat, as well as the type of beverages we drink before bed can go a long way to affect our sleep in one way or another.

    Talking about foods, experts generally advise that you eat very little before bed. If you must eat a heavy meal, then make sure you do so earlier. Don’t consume too much carbohydrates/starch as they are too bulky. Note that it takes the body a lot of time and energy to digest bulky foods. Now, you don’t want to stress your body digesting bulky food while sleeping, it will definitely be counterproductive.

    For beverages, you should avoid caffeinated drinks. Caffeine is known to stimulate the central nervous system. It keeps you highly alert. If you want to sleep appropriately, then you don’t need any drink that contains caffeine. According to Pharmacological findings, some of the adverse effects of caffeine include: dizziness, nervousness, insomnia, headaches, etc. I’m sure you don’t want any of those to interrupt your sleep!

     

    Things to do before bed

     

    5. Read

    Reading is one ideal activity that befits evenings. Being an eclectic reader can help ease you from stress-related anxiety and nervousness.

    Apart from the fact that it is a form of exercise to the brain which enhances memory and the brain’s capacity to: concentrate, coordinate and assimilate, reading also gives you a sort of relaxation that is only second to that of sleep. Have you ever wondered why you often feel sleepy whenever you pick up a book to read in the evening? That is because reading can actually give you the relaxation you need to fall asleep.

     

    6. Put away your electronic gadgets

    Whether you have been reading all evening with your phone or you’ve been socializing with friends on social media or you’ve been checking your emails, you should know when to shut down. Preferably, do it several minutes before bedtime; at least 15 minutes.

    The lights from your phone, desktop or laptop do not aid your ability to fall asleep; especially when your eyes get exposed to such lights for a long period in the evening.

    In recent times, many people complain of sore eyes or temporary impairment of vision after spending hours on digital gadgets. The reason for this is the blue light that these gadgets emit. Those lights also suppress hormones that enhance sleep. This is evident from a recent study which shows that people who read via electronic gadgets like phones or laptops find it more difficult to fall asleep than those who read (hardcover) books.

    Having taken note of this, it is important for you to use your gadgets sparingly during evening hours to enable you to sleep optimally. In order to implement this, you can set an alarm that will notify you when to power down your electronics, including your television. Finally, obey the alarm and stick to the time. Shut down.

     

    7. Conclude and complete your tasks for the day

    Whatever has a beginning also has an end. As the day gradually draws to night, you should start rounding off your daily activities.

    Start by closing from work just on time. This will enable you to get home earlier and start off preparations to go to bed earlier. Also, you will have enough allocation of time to spend with your family which is also very important for conditioning yourself for a good sleep.

    Most importantly, it’s necessary to finish up your work for the day; including the tasks you might have carried home from your office. Surely, you don’t want to start the next day with the workload of the previous day.

    As a matter of fact, you cannot sleep comfortably if you have some pressing tasks you’ve not attended to. And if you eventually keep carrying your tasks over to the next day, the workload might accumulate to the point that it becomes both physically and psychologically unhealthy for you.

    The sense of accomplishment that you would derive from completing your daily tasks before bed will not only make your sleep more relaxing, but it will also make you a joyous person; you will always be in a great mood.

     

    8. Plan for tomorrow

    Among the things to do before bed, you as a person should envision tomorrow and plan ahead for it. By doing this, you’re getting ready for tomorrow and whatever comes with it.

    Planning ahead will give you the confidence that tomorrow will not be overwhelming and that you are equal to the task. You will feel confident to say “I’ve got this” because you’re better prepared.

    One good strategy of planning ahead is to set minor goals that you’d like to achieve the next day. These minor goals should be in line with the bigger/ultimate goal which you intend to achieve in the long run.

    For instance, if you are a final year student whose ultimate goal is to graduate, your task (minor goal) for the next day might be to read up some topics in a particular course. Although those few topics you read will not qualify you to graduate, it’s a step in the right direction. It is a simple plan that will get you on the right track tomorrow.

    In essence, when you plan for the next day before you retire to bed, your sleep will be more peaceful because you are already confident that tomorrow will be well handled.

     

    9. Ensure your mind and household is at peace

    You must be familiar with the notion that “you don’t sleep with bitterness in your heart”. As simple as this might sound, it’s worth considering.

    Before you go to bed each night, ensure you are happy. Build positive energy within you. Forgive any offender and ask for forgiveness if you’re guilty. Be at peace with yourself and your household.

    This is not about the religious preaching of love. Rather, it’s about generating and distributing positive energy within your household. By doing so, you will definitely be in the right frame of mind to sleep and you’ll wake up a happier person.

    Making this your lifestyle will not only affect your sleep positively, but it will also affect your life and existence in a positive way.

     

    10. Early to bed…

    Benjamin Franklin once insinuated that when you retire early to bed, it results in you rising early, being healthy and getting wise. I agree with him on that (I mean, it’s Benjamin Franklin?).

    The body needs at least 7 hours of sound sleep to be revitalized and to recover from the wear and tear resulting from the stress experienced during your daily activities.

    When you sleep on time, you will likely enjoy the full revitalizing period and hence, you’ll wake up the next day stronger.

    However, sometimes, sleeping early could get difficult. Especially if you are typically not used to that. In this case, you don’t have to stress it. All you have to do is ensure you do not consume any stimulant like caffeine. Also, ensure you adhere to the steps already discussed above. You can indulge further in those activities that condition the body and environment for you to sleep; like switching off the lights and doing away with noise. You’ll eventually fall asleep.

    In situations where you can’t sleep due to health reasons, consult your doctor or psychologist for proper diagnosis and treatment.

     

    Final thoughts

    To conclude this article, I’ve got to emphasize on the importance of having a good night’s rest. For the fact that you work hard every day, you strive to survive and to be happy, and you pass through a lot of stress just to be alive, then, you should not forget to give your body what it deserves (sleep).

    The electronic gadgets we use every day often need to be charged, remember? The same thing is applicable to you and I; we all need time to recharge and that’s exactly what sleep does to our bodies.

    Above all, endeavor to familiarize yourself with the tips discussed above if you must learn the right things to do every night before bed.

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    Things to do before bed