Tag: self improvement

Your instincts are one of the major similarities you share with animals. Because of your developed brain, they warn you about a lot of things that do not pertain to your environment. In other words, any immediate danger. Sometimes they take warnings a step further, into the mental world. Like giving you signs you are on the wrong path in life and it’s time to change direction.

Your brain can warn you about the unsatisfactory nature of things that you haven’t started. It can warn you when you are making a commitment that will go bad—very bad. You will feel very uncomfortable when you are doing something you don’t like at all, something that gives you no joy whatsoever, and especially, when you are on the wrong path in life.

Often, you assume that these signs you get will pass so you ignore them and actively seek to repress them. And yes, they do pass sometimes, the signs can fade after a while. But, signs that we ignore always have a trigger, some event, even just a word will light the ignition and the signs will be active once again.

In order to avoid this, first, you need to seek to be one with your instincts. Don’t ever try to suppress what you feel. It never pays off in the long run.

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Signs you might be on the wrong path in life

In this article, you will see what signs your senses give and how to identify them! Let’s get on with it, shall we?

1. Lack of interest

When you are doing things that bring you no joy, that is a clear sign you are on the wrong path in life. You feel zero drive to do these tasks, no inspiration and you really do not even care about them. If it’s work, you just want to get the day over with and leave the premises as soon as the clock strikes 5.

This lack of interest is usually the first sign you will get, but many times, it is the most ignored. Why? Perhaps it’s because of the pay involved and this is what keeps you giving your all. Or it could be due to expectations of the family that make you stay on a job since you do not want to let your family down. So you take the job even if you have no interest in it.

Sadly, this is the reality of many of us in the world of today—this lack of interest. Now, what are the repercussions? Firstly, there is no peace when you work. Secondly, others who cannot read minds to see that you are not interested in what you are doing, will blindly judge you as being lazy and this will have a terrible impact on your reputation.

Therefore, the best thing to do is to not take a job you hate in the first place. But what if it’s too late? There’s still hope, if your occupation will not let you leave, there are ways to add what actually brings you joy to your daily activities. Even if it is for an hour before bed, it will go a long way to making you happy.

In the long run, this happiness you feel will seep into the activity you didn’t feel interested in, and you will find yourself giving it your all just so you can go back to that which brings you peace.

It might take a while to come to terms with the fact that you are perhaps on the wrong path but when it hits, and you work on it, you are slowly coming off the wrong path.

2. The need to escape your life

You may fall into a state of sadness over decisions taken and those ignored. The realization that you are on the wrong path can be absolutely overwhelming. It can force you to turn to substances or escape mechanisms (for example overeating or over-Netflixing) that will relieve you of the crushing reality you face. But sadly this is only temporary.

That’s the thing with escape mechanisms, no matter how many times they are used, the effects do not last. And when we come back to reality, we find that the problems we tried running from are still here. But that is why addiction sets in—the need to always escape.

This indicates that you are on the wrong path in life, but fortunately, this can also be corrected. Mind you, the use of these substances may seem normal but once it starts impeding your daily activities, it becomes a problem that must be solved. How can you go about this? If this is the case for you, you have already begun, the very realization that you can be better is the first step and requires the most courage. Congratulations.

Now, the next step will be slightly harder but you have taken the first step, you’ve got this. The next step is a slow detachment from the things that seem like they have a hold over you. Start small, an hour, several hours, then move to one day, then several days. Psychology says that if we can stay away from something for 17-27 days we have fully conquered it.
Nonetheless, I believe everyone is different and we deal with different types of addiction at different paces. So don’t feel pressured or downcast if you don’t feel relieved from your specific escape mechanism after 27 days of abstinence! Keep pushing.

One thing I know for sure is, if you’re not happy with your life, the solution isn’t to find temporary relief by escaping your life, but rather to create a life you won’t need or want to escape from.

3. You get angry at almost everything

Another telling sign that you are on the wrong path is that every day, the slightest and most especially the most negligible of things annoy you. Someone stepping on you in a crowded park can set you off instantly. Someone making a harmless joke about you can blow off a fuse.

These signs are normal for when we are not comfortable with our current environment and they can be controlled. The best way to see it is that getting angry at the problem never really solves it.

4. You feel unexplainable fatigue

When you are doing something that doesn’t make you happy, getting up at dawn itself can be a herculean task. You feel so tired when doing even the slightest of tasks, and you question why it has to be this way.

That is a very scary point in life to be in but I am of the opinion that there is no situation that cannot be improved. So at this point, you can still find that reason you need to get up and move forward. Once you can do little things and that fatigue isn’t there, you have won.

5. You seek change

When you feel no motivation toward the things you do, you are normally inclined to seek change but many times this change is not easily obtainable. This can be frustrating on its own and can push us to the wall. It becomes worse when you feel like you are on the wrong path; your soul will constantly scream for change.

This is an early indicator and you should try your best to pay heed to it. Change begins when you decide to do the things that will bring you peace. Seek out what will bring your mind rest and cling to it.

6. You feel envious of others

You may often catch yourself wishing to be another person. What could that person have that you so covert? Many times, especially when we are on the wrong path in life, the answer is simple, it’s freedom. You envy their simple lives and how they can just do whatever they want.

It’s natural to be envious when you look at certain people but you should also remember that we all lead lives and they are more than they seem when viewed from other perspectives that aren’t our own. All humans have their own troubles and no one is free of them.

7. You often feel pain

When you are not doing things that make you happy there is this pain that is always attached. Incessant headaches occur from just thinking about it, restlessness ensues and sleepless nights are more frequent. These signs simply indicate that you are not on the right path.

People who feel like this are way better when they break free from the confines that placed them in such positions. The best way is to stop whatever it is that brings you this pain. However, it is never as simple as ABC. I recommend a slow approach, just in case you cannot seem to identify what brings the pain. Time always reveals all faults.

8. Sour relationships

When you are not happy with your current state, it is only a matter of time before it reflects in your relationships with others. You are no longer the pleasant friend everyone enjoyed being with. Now your gloom seems to have pushed everyone away.

It is a very terrible thing when others have to become casualties of our inner wars. If you have hurt people because of the positions you were in, it is highly advisable to reach out and set things straight. That is what a good human being who is trying his or her best to become a better person will do. And that is what you are.

9. You always hunt for approval

When you aren’t happy, you often seek pleasure by looking towards others. You want to do everything to please them. This is very destructive in itself since you ignore what you need and you ignore yourself just because you want others to be happy. But keep in mind that human beings are insatiable creatures and as such, nothing will absolutely please them. You can set yourself on fire and people will complain that you aren’t bright enough.

Constantly seeking to please others never goes well in the long run. It is very important that sometimes you put yourself first. Yes, learn to be selfish sometimes, there is nothing wrong with that.

10. You see no need to celebrate yourself

So, perhaps you see your achievements as meager and nothing special. Well, dear friend, this doesn’t signify humility. This does not even mean you want to blow what you have achieved out of proportion. In this case, when you are unhappy, you tend to look down on yourself so even if your victories seem well deserved, you often think that what you have achieved could have been better off with someone else.

This type of mentality stems from the lack of happiness with what you are doing and is an indicator that you are on the wrong path. It is very advisable that you take a step back and reassess yourself.

11. You cannot recognize yourself anymore

Many times you do not know who you are. You are lost in this void that bothers you, this sense of helplessness assails you and you do not recognize the being in the mirror.

This is a common indicator of a path that is not favourable for you. It can be overwhelming but you can break free from it and come out stronger than ever! What you need to realise is that you are unique and there can never be another you. Take things slowly and do not overexert yourself when it seems like you cannot figure things out. Everything will eventually align.

12. You do not feel peace

When you are faced with situations that bring no happiness, it is only natural that you are no longer at peace with yourself. Your mental state may also be on the decline in situations like these.

Your peace should be prioritized above everything else. I am in full support that you walk away from anything and everything that seems to threaten your inner peace. Walking away might be hard but in the end, it is usually the best decision you could have ever made. Give yourself that gift.

In conclusion, I hope that you see that not all masterpieces are easily understood so it is very normal if you do not understand yourself sometimes. Don’t feel disturbed because all stars align for those who look into the sky long enough. Give yourself time and start taking slow, deliberate action towards changing your life.

You might also want to read about:

• • Journal Prompts For Self Discovery: 35 Questions To Ask Yourself
  • 30 Easy Ways To Improve Yourself Little By Little Every Day
  • 20 Deep Self-Reflection Questions To Ask Yourself
  • 15 Bad Habits To Break This Year If You Want A Happy Life

Please pin these 12 signs you are on the wrong path in life 🙂

If you often feel that you’re not confident enough and are looking to change it, there are some steps you can take in order to do so. Today we’ll explore 15 tips on how to boost self-confidence that you can start implementing in your life starting today.

Sometimes, people underestimate what they can achieve. They feel like they are incapable of achieving particular things. This is similar to that feeling you get when you lose faith or belief in yourself. You become pessimistic where you can choose to be optimistic, you find reasons to withdraw where you can simply try… 

If the above descriptions are similar to what you have experienced or are currently experiencing, then keep calm because you are not alone. 

Having low or high self-confidence doesn’t just happen. Certain things must occur for one’s confidence to either grow or diminish. 

How To Boost Self-Confidence

It is worth considering that some people grew up to be highly confident while others grew up to be relatively low in confidence. More often than not, such cases are as a result of their early socialization. 

When growing up as a kid, if you were surrounded by people who exhibited high self-confidence, who created an enabling environment for your confidence to grow, and who believed in you and your abilities, you would likely adopt their strategies. You would exhibit high self-confidence even at a tender age and such confidence would continue till adulthood. 

On the other hand, if you grew up among people who withdrew themselves from the society as a result of low self-esteem, people who didn’t believe in themselves or in you, you would most likely have low self-confidence even as an adult. 

However, when trying out something new, I mean something you have little or no prior experience in, usually, you’ll be excited because you don’t know if you will succeed or fail. That first-time excitement is not necessarily because of low self-confidence, but simply a product of uncertainty. 

Meanwhile, when your first attempt results in failure and you give up and conclude that you are simply not good enough, that is when low self-confidence comes into play!

That is to say, inasmuch as failure can be a contributing factor to low self-confidence, the greatest factor remains lack of perseverance. The more you persevere, the more likely it is for you to win and the more you win, the greater your confidence. 

If you are a person who either grew up to be negatively influenced into having low self-confidence or yours is as a result of failure and lack of perseverance, then this article is for you. 

We’ll be looking at 15 tips on how to boost self-confidence. Because even though people believe that self-confidence is something you are born with, on the contrary, it can be learnt and improved! 

Don’t settle for the myth that you can’t do anything about it. Say it with me “Yes I can!”. Let’s dive right in. 

1. Understand that it is not bad to try 

One of the first steps to take if you want to boost your self-confidence is to consider the fact that trying is not bad. For the fact that there are two different, possible and inevitable outcomes anyway (either to succeed or fail), you have to give it a try. And even if you fail, you shouldn’t just give up.

As long as you see nothing bad in trying, failing once should not stop you from trying again and again. Once you develop this “always try again” mindset, your confidence will continue to rise with each success you eventually record. 

I actually like the idea that there is no such thing as failure, there’s only gaining experience. So if you try something and it doesn’t work out, you haven’t failed, you only gained experience in knowing what doesn’t work. So now you can move forward and try something new.

2. Embrace optimism 

Optimism plays a vital role in the development of self-confidence. Its importance can never be overrated. In order for you to believe in yourself to achieve anything (self-confidence), you have to first of all expect the best out of anything you want to attempt (aka optimism). 

Moreover, being optimistic motivates you to get started because when you fully expect the best outcome, you will definitely be pushed to at least make an attempt. 

As an optimist, you will always say “it’s possible” when others are saying “it’s impossible”. And by the time all you see is possibility, your confidence level will rise astronomically. 

3. Embrace perseverance 

Indeed, most confident people didn’t just gain self-confidence all of a sudden (I repeat, there is no such thing as being born with self-confidence). It took a lot of failures but persistence. They simply never gave up. 

Even amidst failures, someone who doesn’t give up and who still finds reasons to keep pushing, is more likely to develop higher confidence with the progression of time. This is because their consistency will yield better results and those better results will improve their confidence.

In other words, although multiple failures can bring about low self-confidence, the greatest attitude that counteracts whatever failure brings to the table is perseverance.  

4. Stay clean from the inside (embrace personal hygiene) 

As little as it is, hygiene can play a big role in boosting self-confidence. 

For example, one who practices poor oral hygiene might not be confident enough to stay close and hold a conversation because he may be uncomfortable with the resulting bad breath. The same is applicable to someone who does not bath regularly. A simple hug might become a big deal. 

Moreover, regular household hygiene will give you enough confidence to welcome your friends whenever they feel like visiting. 

Staying neat from the inside gives you confidence from within which will enhance your social life. In fact, if you can achieve something as little as cleanliness, then you can build on that to achieve even greater things.

 5. Wear what makes you comfortable 

There is a popular saying that the way you dress is the way you are addressed. Don’t just dress for the sake of it. Rather, dress in those clothes that make you feel great. Acknowledge what suits you and embrace it.

Note, I’m not saying you should dress to impress people, but rather, dress to satisfy yourself. It’s when you are satisfied with yourself as a result of your appearance that you’ll carry yourself in confidence, knowing fully well that you look good. 

6. Love and appreciate yourself

Learn to appreciate your individuality. Love yourself and learn not to be too hard on yourself. As much as you are to accept your errors, don’t be your own worst critic if you really want to learn how to boost self-confidence. Criticizing yourself too much will only result in self-hate. 

Now, remember the fact that no one believes in what he or she doesn’t love or appreciate. In other words, for you to be confident in yourself, you have to love and appreciate yourself first. 

7. Learn to give to/help people 

When you give to others or when you render help to people and end up solving their problem, thereafter, there is this sense of fulfillment that comes with it. The sense of fulfillment that you derive from solving people’s problems will definitely boost the confidence you have in yourself. 

Plus, people often appreciate you when you render help to them. Most times, these appreciations come in form of the positive things they say about you. And there is a tendency that when people always say positive things in appreciation for the help you rendered, your self-confidence will be boosted. 

8. Let your opinion be heard

Low self-confidence can actually make you shy away from saying a lot of things which ordinarily, you would prefer to talk about. Well, you need to learn not to hesitate to voice them out. You can start by giving little compliments, by telling others the good things you noticed about them. At the end, you will be pleased with yourself that you were able to give them your opinion. 

If you can compliment others successfully, you can actually build on that to voice out your opinion even when the situation becomes more complex. With that, your confidence will grow enough for you to start saying things you never had the guts to say before. 

9. Be content… Avoid comparisons

One of the simplest ways to kill your self-confidence is by comparing yourself to others! Remember, nobody portrays his or her bad sides. People are more likely to show you their successes and will always hide their failures. Simply put, they will reveal their strengths and hide their weaknesses. 

When you start comparing yourself to others who only portray their best, you’ll think the world is a bed of roses for them (which is so not true). Consequently, you feel very bad about your little achievements, and you start wishing to be in their shoes. If only you knew all about them, but alas, you don’t…. 

As a matter of fact, comparison is an easy way to self-discontentment and you are more likely to hate yourself if you are dissatisfied with yourself.

Shun comparisons totally if you truly want to boost your self-confidence. 

10. Learn to acknowledge your worth

When you acknowledge your worth, you add more value to yourself. Knowing your worth and valuing yourself more will certainly make you never settle for less. Resultantly, people will treat you with high regard and your self-esteem will grow. And guess what? Your self-confidence will too. 

11. See the positives in others

It is worthy of note that you can only see the good in others when you feel good about yourself. Hence, a popular saying has it that “No one gives what he doesn’t have”.

When you only see the positives in others, you will develop a lasting positive mindset that will make you start seeing only positives about yourself and about life in general. Adopting such a positive mindset will do a lot to put you on track to boosting self-confidence. 

12. Always be ready

Readiness is one key that leads to self-assurance. When you are ready, the tension associated with uncertainty or unforeseen circumstances will be curtailed. Being ready will make you expectant. Now,  because you are expectant, you will plan ahead and be in the right shape to tackle any eventuality. 

For example, getting prepared before presenting a speech will go a long way to reduce stage fright. You will as a result, deliver the speech with increased confidence. 

In essence, the readier and more prepared you are, the more confident you will be at any given time. 

13. Know your strengths and accept your weaknesses 

When you find out your strengths and weaknesses, accept them. Then, you can embrace your strengths, maximize them, put them into good use and become productive. Also, you will work on yourself and improve on your weaknesses.

The more you maximize your strengths and improve on your weaknesses, the more your confidence will reach extra heights.

14. Let your insecurities be best known to you

It is expected that your weaknesses are things you are definitely not proud of. Some of your weaknesses are probably your biggest insecurities. 

Although you accept those weaknesses, they still make you insecure. Therefore, while you work on yourself to get better, you don’t necessarily have to tell them to everyone you come across. You don’t want to be an object of mockery because most people will use your insecurities against you.

If you really want to talk to someone about your insecurities or weaknesses, you can meet a counselor or close friend.

15. Mind the people you keep around you

The people you mingle with can go a long way to either boost your confidence or bring it down to its lowest. Some people you call friends might harbor negative energy. They are the ones who only exist to torment you.

Sit down, take a glass of water and relax. Think of the friends you keep… Are they the type that always make fun of you and lay emphasis on your weaknesses and insecurities? Are they the type that never compliment or have any positive thing to say about you? Do they always criticize you? 

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you have to shun their company. They will destroy your ego and self-esteem before you can say pop-a-doodle-doo (I don’t know if that’s a real word, but you get the point). In fact, your self-confidence is in danger of imminent damage if you keep such friends.

In conclusion, it is highly recommended to tap from the idea in one of Socrates’ popular quotes which says; “Man, know yourself.” 

Everything about self-confidence starts from within. It starts from knowing yourself, your worth, strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, etc. Knowing these essentials about your individuality will give you major clues on how to boost your self-confidence, one step at a time. 

You might also like to read about:

• 20 Deep Self-Reflection Questions To Ask Yourself
• Top 10 Morning Habits To Supercharge Your Day With Positivity
• Journal Prompts For Self Discovery: 35 Questions To Ask Yourself
• 30 Easy Ways To Improve Yourself Little By Little Every Day

Don’t forget to pin these 15 tips on how to boost self-confidence!

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