Category: Personal Development

  • 10 Things You Need To Stop Doing In The Morning

    10 Things You Need To Stop Doing In The Morning

    While there are certain things that are good to include in your morning routine, there are also some things that are better left out. Today I want to share some things you should stop doing in the morning so you can have a better and more productive day.


    Okay so yesterday you got back home tired after having a really hectic day. You were so exhausted that you barely had your shower before crashing into your bed. 

    Shortly after you closed your eyes and started to enjoy your sleep, your alarm rang loudly. It’s morning already! Arrrgh! You can’t wake up just yet, you need to sleep a little more — and you proceed to slam the snooze button angrily while wriggling under the covers. 

    By the time your alarm rings again, it’s past 6 AM. You manage to get out of bed but don’t feel better — in fact, you are just as exhausted and as sleepy as you were the previous night!

    Does this sound familiar?

    A Productive Day Starts In The Morning

    Having a productive day starts with how you wake up each morning. And to perfectly understand this, you should be asking; what does my morning routine look like? What kind of emotion or mood am I in when I wake up from sleep? Are my morning hours dull or lively? What does my breakfast look like? Am I a fan of junk or a balanced diet? These are a few of the questions you should be asking yourself if you are finding it difficult to make your mornings count.

    Most times, we are the ones who complicate things for ourselves; we make our mornings overwhelming due to certain ill habits we have adopted. Over time, such habits become a drag on our lives as our productivity level keeps dropping.

    Things You Should Stop Doing In The Morning

    Now, before you wonder how poor morning routines result in low productivity, remember that if you wake up in a dull mood, you will lack the motivation to carry out your daily tasks effectively. And when your daily goals are not met, there is no way your weekly goals will be met. And so it cycles into months and years of low productivity!

    Now, for the main gist; here are 10 things you need to stop doing in the morning if you want to be more productive.

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    1. Hitting The Snooze Button

    There is this popular saying I recommend you ponder on; “you snooze you lose”. 

    To be frank, hitting the snooze button feels great, especially in those early hours when sleep is just getting more interesting! Some of us wouldn’t mind hitting the snooze button 5 times (we are actually many on this table). But then, who is at the losing end? 

    You might feel like you are giving your body a few more minutes of sleep to wake up stronger. On the contrary, you are just destabilizing your whole body wake-up mechanism, thereby causing yourself to feel more worn out by the time you are eventually up.

    How do you deal with this problem? It’s simple; rise from that bed once your alarm beeps! 

    Okay, I lied, it’s not simple. One reliable method that will make the wake-up process a lot easier for you is Mel Robin’s 5-Second Rule. All you have to do is count (each second) backward from 5 to 1 then jump up from your bed! It’s as easy as that.

    Sure, getting up from your cozy, comfortable bed might feel like a hard task to accomplish. The trick is; don’t EVER give yourself the leverage to choose between snoozing and getting up. You will most likely prefer the former. Don’t think twice about it, just get up spontaneously! 

    Using the 5-second rule and jumping up on 5 counts will give your body that first alertness that you need to carry on for the rest of the day. 

    2. Logging Into Social Media

    Believe it or not, we live in a world where social media plays a huge role in our existence. 

    Most of us are guilty of constantly checking our phones for new notifications. And a larger percentage of us will prefer to check our Facebook or WhatsApp inbox (once we wake up) to reply to all the messages we couldn’t respond to before we slept off the previous night.

    Well, I’m not saying that it is wrong to use social media but doing that first thing in the morning is a no-no as long as productivity is concerned. You don’t need to be distracted by your newsfeed that early. 

    Rather, morning hours are the best time to pay attention to your morning, your life, and how you can align your life with your goals!

    You shouldn’t allow Instagram posts or ridiculous tweets to sabotage your good vibe and energy early in the morning. And guess what? You can still go on social media by lunchtime as that newsfeed will still be there waiting for you. 

    Things To Stop Doing In The Morning
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    3. A Cup Of Coffee Ritual

    It’s pretty common for some of us to gulp down a cup of coffee once we leave our beds. It’s almost like a cultural ritual as 7 out of every 10 adults are guilty of this. Some drink it because others are drinking it while others believe that a cup of coffee will energize the body…

    Now, here is the shocker; drinking coffee first thing in the morning is absolutely wrong. Why?

    Recall that the average duration of sleep is 8 hours, right? If that is the case, then it implies that your body has gone over 8 hours without water, hence, by morning, your hydration level is already low. You need water to rehydrate yourself, not coffee!

     If you must take coffee or any other caffeinated substances in the morning, your body must be hydrated first. Otherwise, the caffeine will become too concentrated in your body and will end up becoming a toxin.

    Does that come as a surprise to you? Well, now you know the right thing to do. Drinking 2 or 3 glasses of water once you wake up will go a long way to boost your rate of metabolism all day long.

    READ NOW: How To Stop Being Lazy And Unmotivated And Become Productive Instead

    4. Checking Your Work Emails

    Work work work! Some of us are so work-centered that we barely remember ourselves, our bodies, our lives, or our mental and physical strength.

    Are you one of those workaholics in town? I mean the type that stay late at work only to get home and continue from where they stopped? If so, it may be time to hold up for a bit.

    Your career is very important, no doubt, but life is not all about work. There is much more to your existence than your job. You don’t have to wake up in the morning and rush into attending to your emails – that’s a major distraction. After all, they can always wait in your inbox until your actual work hours start. No matter how important it is, it will still be there for you by 8 AM or whatever time you choose to start your work day (if you own a business or freelance). 

    Use your early morning hours for self-care, reflection, and meditation. These are very vital for your body and mind.

    ALSO READ: 12 Powerful Keys To Success In Life Only Smart People Know

    5. Eating Junk

    This is another place many of us are getting it wrong – eating junk for breakfast.

    The quality and timing of your breakfast say a whole lot about how your day will pan out. No matter your health status, size, weight, age, gender, or race, your breakfast shouldn’t exceed 8 AM. Ensure the diet is balanced, and drink enough water.

    Having breakfast like; sweetened beverages, chocolate, croissants, cake and other confections will only make you hungry and sleepy a few hours later! You can’t rely on such if you want to be energetic at least till lunch.

    6. Not Washing Your Face 

    There is this refreshing feeling that comes with sprinkling cold water on your face as soon as you’re awake. While some normally wash their faces first thing in the morning, others don’t even consider it.

    The difference between those who wash their face and those who don’t is that the latter struggle to stay awake even after waking up! 

    Washing your face helps bring back your consciousness, brightens your mood, stabilizes your emotions, clears your eyes, and sets your day in the right direction.

    If that has never been part of your morning routine, then try it out tomorrow. You’ll surely feel the difference.

    7. Watching TV 

    Are you in the habit of watching TV in the morning? You might be wondering why it’s on this list… but yes, it’s improper. 

    Many of us watch TV so we can get the latest updates on the happenings around the world. But doing it so early in the morning isn’t very productive. There are more important things you should be doing at that time to impact your life positively. 

    Besides, the news is mostly filled with negative stories from all over the world. Such stories will only stimulate and heighten your stress levels and as a result, your mood will be negatively affected all day.

    Instead of switching on your TV, it’s better to relax for as long as you want. This will give you the room to meditate and reflect on your life before starting your day. Plus you will avoid unnecessary distractions.

    8. Making “Unplanned” Decisions

    The most common error we commit in our everyday life is “when” and “how” we make our decisions. We often fail to plan before we decide.

    You shouldn’t just wake up in the morning and make hasty, impromptu decisions that will govern your entire day. Making such spontaneous decisions will keep you in a disoriented position because you are more or less forcing yourself to analyze the whole day within a few seconds. Trust me, this can cause severe mental stress.

    Besides stress, making unplanned decisions will most likely bring about poor results – and I’m sure you don’t want that. So, learn to decide ahead of time. If possible, the night before. Early mornings shouldn’t be a time to make hasty decisions. Rather, it should be a period to put your body and mind in the right frame to execute the decisions you already made.

    Waiting till morning before deciding is like doing the right thing at the wrong time. In other words, you are taking one step forward and two steps backward. That’s a perfect way to be a victim of your (own) circumstances.

    READ NOW: 9 Powerful Ways To Stop Thinking Negative Thoughts

    9. Not Letting The Sun Rays In

    Nature has a way of caressing us at the right spot once we tap into it — the excitement that follows is surreal!

    One way to tap into the wonders of nature is by allowing the early morning sun rays into your room. Keeping your windows or curtains closed after waking up is like denying yourself an extraordinary natural feeling that makes your day bright and beautiful.

    Preparing for work, or having your early morning routine inside a dark and stuffy room will send a dull, groggy signal to your body which will psychologically affect you all day.

    On the other hand, letting the sun into your room in the morning is an amazing way to wake your body and mind up. The rays of sunshine penetrating your window (and your skin) send waves of alertness to your eyes, body, and your entire system. 

    10. Not Making Your Bed

    We are often too quick to focus on big tasks as we feel our daily productivity lies in completing difficult responsibilities. But that’s wrong. Your productivity starts with those little things you ignore to do in the morning — such as making your bed. 

    There is this sense of organization that comes with making your bed and putting your room in order. 

    A well-organized room (before starting your day) gives you the feeling that you can equally organize your work. You subconsciously feel in control of your life.

    ALSO READ: 50 Gratitude Journal Prompts To Help You Live Your Dream Life

    Final Thoughts

    Now before you go, remember, the points above are only but a few things you might have been doing wrong in the morning that limit your productivity level. There are many other habits you should avoid in the morning, like watching Netflix, taking too long, warm baths, worrying over your outfit selection, and so on.

    Stop paying attention to trivialities and start focusing on yourself and your life.

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    Things To Stop Doing In The Morning
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  • 10 Useful Things To Do On Days When You Just Want To Give Up

    10 Useful Things To Do On Days When You Just Want To Give Up

    Life is a bunch of emotions. Sometimes, you feel like you are on top of the world; you feel on top of every situation and everything is panning out easily… but then on other days, everything is going downhill! There are days when nothing goes as planned and you just want to give up.

    It might get so bad that you feel like you have no choice but to give up on yourself, your relationship, your dreams, goals, and ambitions, or even your entire life.

    Are you in one of those difficult moments in life when you are just about giving up on everything and everyone? Are you wondering why your life seems different from everyone else’s? Be calm. Because it’s not about you and your life. It’s about the nature of this world. Life is not a bed of beautiful roses (even though there are no ugly roses).

    Just like there are sunny days, there are always going to be rainy days. But remember, if there was nothing like heavy rain, there wouldn’t be anything like a beautiful rainbow. In other words, there are always two sides to life: pain and pleasure. 

    Life will certainly throw all sorts of things at you. Some might make you happy, others will make you completely worn out. But the most important thing is your reaction to such situations – the steps you finally choose to take during those moments when you just want to give up. Those are key moments when a lot of things about your life will be determined.

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    What To Do When You Want To Give Up

    With that said, we could all use a little help with going through such tough times. Here are 10 things you should do when you want to give up and life just seems hopeless.  

    1. Determine Why You Want to Give Up 

    Before you can ever find a solution to a problem, the first step to take is to find out the cause. Before prescribing a cure, you have to diagnose first! This approach is pretty reliable both in medicine and in every other sphere of life.

    When you are contemplating quitting, the first thing you should ask yourself is, “Why am I giving up so easily?” It’s after you find out “why” that you’ll understand “how” to tackle the problem.

    There are many possible reasons we tend to give up on our missions, ambitions or even people. But those reasons are usually centered on one thing; discomfort. We mainly give up once the pain, distress, or suffering becomes seemingly unbearable. It’s understandable though — because we humans are naturally wired to crave comfort. 

    Nobody sees pleasure and prefers pain! We all want to be in a place where we feel comfortable. But unfortunately, that’s far from what life offers us. While we savor pleasure, we can’t escape the traces of pain that come with it. 

    Once you know the central reason you are giving up so easily, you have to toughen up and face the world squarely.

    What To Do When You Just Want To Give Up

    2. Remember The Reason You Started And Where You Are Headed

    A young man once narrated what motivates him. In his words:

    “I’m a self-employed who is struggling to take his career to the next level. At times, I chase a deal for months but to no avail. Sometimes, I spend many weeks without a single income. Other times, life hit me so hard that I just want to give up. But one thing that keeps me going is whenever I remember where I’m coming from and where I’m headed… Whenever I remember how much my mom, dad, and siblings count on me, I just can’t stop.”

    This story exemplifies the power of knowing where you are coming from and where you are going. That’s exactly what you should think of on days you just want to give up.

    ALSO READ: How To Stop Wasting Time And Become Productive

    3. Remember It Usually Gets Worse Before It Gets Better

    Life is a mystery. Sometimes it works in ways you don’t really understand. Life is also about balance. You can tell because there are always two ways to everything; whenever you think of darkness, there is light. Whenever you think of nights, there are days. And when you feel so cold, you expect warmth.

    When you feel like giving up, always remember that it is usually darkest before dawn. Remember, life is neither all about sadness nor happiness. So, you can be assured that your good day is just around the corner — even in your darkest moments. 

    While you keep striving, also retrace your steps, try out new things, adopt a different approach. Push on. 

    READ NOW: 9 Powerful Ways To Stop Thinking Negative Thoughts

    4. Be Realistic With Your Expectations 

    Life is tough already. But then don’t make it tougher by holding on to unrealistic expectations.

    One of the greatest things that aggravate the pressure we’re already in is our expectations. I mean; why wouldn’t you be under pressure when you often listen to people that claim perfection? Why wouldn’t the pressure be too much on you when you only patronize ideas that promise quick results? Why wouldn’t you find it difficult to cope when you only hang out with people who give no room for mistakes?

    You see, things will be easier if you become more realistic with what you seek and the result you expect. Only listen to people who have been through your present situation; people who are familiar with your reality.

    Pay attention to people who understand that it is okay to fail, then rise again. Listen to those who understand that the journey will be long and tough at times. With such people around you, your expectations will be more realistic and you’ll stop being unnecessarily hard on yourself.

    5. Take It One Step At A Time 

    Another reason you probably feel like giving up is because you are overwhelmed by all sorts of ideas regarding how to make things better. When you keep getting lots of possible solutions into your head, they become difficult to apply, and consequently, you end up being frustrated.

    If you are in this kind of situation, the best solution is to take it one step at a time. Trying too many things at a time will only get you worked up and confused. Hence, in whatever you do, endeavor to simplify. 

    Concentrate on the basic aspects of life that matter most. For instance, instead of beating yourself up that you are not doing enough to satisfy your partner the way they want, you can simply concentrate on loving them genuinely. Because the basis of every relationship is love.

    ALSO READ: How To Be Happy In Life Despite Your Circumstances

    6. Practice Gratitude 

    On those days when you just want to give up, look back to — let’s say, five years ago — and remember how far you’ve come. Be grateful for the little success you’ve attained. Trust me, not everyone has been so fortunate. So be thankful and appreciate yourself a little more.

    Think about all the rivers you’ve crossed (okay maybe not literally), all you’ve achieved, and all you’ve learned over the years. Is it worth throwing all those things away by giving up? 

    RELATED READ: 50 Gratitude Journal Prompts To Help You Live Your Dream Life

    7. Be Inspired; Be Motivated 

    This is a little trick that works wonders. 

    Motivation – it’s everywhere. It’s up to you to select your source.

    For instance, your motivation could be the birds of the air that have no one to depend on, yet they survive. Your motivation could be the deep blue oceans with neither beginning nor end, yet they have direction. 

    You can also be inspired by someone else’s story. You can access such stories by reading motivational books, watching motivational videos, listening to related podcasts, and so on. Using motivational reminders can go a long way to keep your passion and drive alive. And of course, that’s exactly what you need whenever life seems tricky.

    8. Seek Support 

    Yes, it’s okay to seek help! Don’t feel uncomfortable to seek support when the burden seems too overwhelming. Don’t disconnect yourself from others or conceal your feelings of frustration. Remember, a problem shared, they say, is a problem half-solved. 

    Reach out to your friends,  family, colleagues, co-workers, or any other person you can confidently talk to so you can ease yourself a bit and clear your mind from what is pulling you down. You never know, they might even end up giving you the inspiration you need to get back up.

    9. Take A Break

    Okay so recently, your life has been chaotic. You are as confused as confusion itself! And now, you are thinking of quitting entirely. Well, before you proceed, let me ask; have you considered taking a break — let’s say for a few weeks or a couple of months — then get back and try again?

    Often, the reason you feel like giving up is because you worked so hard to the extent that you forgot to take a break. Self-care should be made a fundamental part of your life because fatigue is very real. 

    That little time you couldn’t give yourself for rest could end up costing you days or weeks (of work) in the hospital. 

    ALSO READ: 10 Valuable Things You Will Regret Not Doing Sooner

    10. Think About The Consequences Of Quitting

    Finally, before you give up, think about the consequences of quitting! Many superstars you know today failed many times, but they never gave up. They kept pressing!

    Before you quit, remember Walt Disney who was fired by a magazine firm because he allegedly “lacked imagination and had no good ideas”. If he had given up on his dreams, he wouldn’t have become the founder of the famous Disney business.

    Before you quit, think about the possible bright future you are also throwing away. The aftermath of quitting is a failed dream.

    Do you still want to give up? 

    Quitting should never be an option as long as you know where you are coming from and where you’re going.

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    What To Do When You Just Want To Give Up
  • How To Stop Being Lazy And Unmotivated And Become Productive Instead

    How To Stop Being Lazy And Unmotivated And Become Productive Instead

    It’s normal to procrastinate and put off doing something because you don’t feel like it in the moment. But when is enough, enough? Today I want to share some tips on how to stop being lazy and stop procrastinating and become more productive instead.

    It all starts with the desire to take a break and catch a breath during a busy day. However, before you know it, this “break” has extended to days, weeks or even months. You find yourself lazing around doing nothing productive. To cap it all, you keep getting that nagging feeling of guilt as you are reminded of the tons of work yet to be done – the goals yet to be achieved. 

    How To Stop Being Lazy

    Although the laziness syndrome is real, the good news is that there are ways you can overcome it. It’s really not as difficult as you may think, so grab a seat and let’s dive right into the best ways to stop being lazy! 

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    1. Be Kind To Yourself

    It’s very easy to beat yourself up for being a lazybone while tons of work remains undone. However, guilt tripping yourself won’t take you anywhere near getting the job done. You might just end up adding yet another unproductive day to the laziness hall of fame. 

    So yeah it’s normal to feel lazy, but, you should make efforts to address your laziness without feeling bad or guilty about it.

    What to do?

    First of all, you’ve got to discard perfectionism. The more you think you are not equal to the task or you’re not capable of getting the task done, the less motivated you are to do it.

    To stop being lazy and overcome demotivation, understand that you are human and are therefore liable to have some flaws. No one is perfect. Even motivational speakers and those who appear to be the most successful people have got some flaws to deal with. 

    Understanding and accepting this fact will help you to be less judgmental about yourself and more open to making conscious efforts to be a better person. This way, laziness will eventually vanish.

    How To Stop Being Lazy

    2. Have A Plan

    Now that you are mentally ready to give motivation a try, ensure you map out your strategy. Just as the saying goes, “He who fails to plan, plans to fail,” so, you have to scheme out how to go about it.

    Having a plan will provide direction and confidence that will help you even if you meet a hurdle along the way. The goal is to get rid of laziness, stay motivated and get things done as quickly and as efficiently as possible. To achieve this, you’ve got to have a goal plan. 

    One core factor you shouldn’t take with levity is your time. Time is money! Learning the art of time management is a good way to start. Make an effort to schedule your activities in a daily routine as this will go a long way in helping you stay motivated. 

    For instance, if your goal is to give a killer presentation that will convince investors to put their funds in a project, then you have got to have a schedule that will give enough room for preparation and planning long before the actual presentation. 

    Planning how you will get something done can make it easier to get there. Nevertheless, while creating a goal plan, ensure you are realistic about how much time and of course resources you will be needing to meet your goal so things don’t flop and then flip you back to square one.

    ALSO READ: How To Focus Your Mind When Life Becomes Chaotic

    3. Baby Steps Are Allowed

    Often, we end up being lazy and unmotivated when we get overwhelmed  by the amount of work we’ve got to put into something to achieve it. It happens. However, the better you learn how to paddle your canoe of goal planning, the lesser your chance of getting drowned in the lake of laziness and demotivation. 

    Like I said earlier, you’ve got to be realistic while making plans on how to achieve your goals. Plan your schedule according to your ability. Embrace baby steps by taking it one step at a time. 

    For instance, if your goal is to make straight A’s in your professional exams, while planning, ensure you don’t set unrealistic demands for yourself. If you are not the nocturnal type and you think late night studying will help boost your grades, scheduling an all-nighter at the first attempt is going to be a…not so great idea. 

    What do you do? You can take 30 minutes per night for the first week and then increase the duration as time goes. So that’s it. Don’t be scared to take baby steps, they will not only save you from slipping into demotivation, but they will also help you build up your strength and prowess in those activities.

    4. Catch a Breath

    Don’t be mistaken. Avoiding laziness and lack of motivation does not mean you should work and bore yourself to death. While you are making conscious efforts to achieve your goals and accomplish given tasks, ensure you take a chill pill to avoid burnout and stress.  

    Taking out time to catch a breath will help you feel more energetic, motivated to do better and encourage you to put more effort towards achieving your goal. Lack of rest, stress and fatigue will only make you less motivated to carry on.

    So if you’ve got a 2 hour per session work schedule, ensure you take a break to unwind and relax. If you are having trouble with sticking to your time-limits, then you should make use of your alarm clock or a simple egg-timer. Also, scheduling apps like Doodle, Visibook and Timefree will come in handy. 

    READ NOW: How To Take Responsibility For Your Life And Stop Making Excuses

    5. Take Away Distractions

    Taking your time to evaluate why you are feeling demotivated will go a long way in helping you determine what might be distracting you. For example, if you end up gaming till late after you made up your mind to study all day, then it’s time you let go of those games. 

    Since gaming is usually the getaway zone for you each time you aren’t working, then it’s best you take the gaming away until you have acquired some level of self discipline. So, while you are trying to work on how to stop being lazy, think about what you do each time you are having a lazy day or time, and try to stop turning to that activity. 

    ALSO READ: How To Visualize Success In Order To Achieve The Results You Want

    6. Understand The Benefits Of Staying Motivated

    You can do this by journaling! Ask yourself questions and make a list of the benefits you get to enjoy when you are motivated. This will serve as a morale booster and will help you want to work towards achieving your goals. Knowing the advantages of being motivated is motivation in itself.

    7. Don’t Be Afraid Of Failure

    Another important way to stop being lazy is by discarding your fear of the unknown. Fear will stop you from making efforts to be a better person. However, not taking your shot at it is worse than making an attempt and not succeeding.

    It’s okay to be anxious about what the future holds, however, ensure you don’t get pessimistic about the results of your efforts. Even when you fail at an attempt, don’t be scared to take another shot. Be open to optimism.

    8. Eat Well

    You are what you eat. Studies have shown that the food we eat influences our activities. For example, high protein foods like eggs, almonds, and Greek yoghurt help with keeping sugar levels in the body stable. 

    This will help prevent any sluggish or lazy feeling that might be lurking around. In light of this, avoid consuming  a high quantity of sugary and high fat foods. Soda, pasta, fast foods and co are off limits. Although, these foods will give you an immediate rush of adrenaline, they tend to drain your energy in the long run because they don’t digest quickly enough. 

    RELATED READ: How To Get Out Of A Rut In Life And Get Back On Track

    9. Exercise

    To stop being lazy in a matter of minutes, a work on your physical health will help a great deal. Just a few minutes of exercise can increase energy levels, improve mood, and reduce anxiety, stress and depression. 

    So the next time you are feeling uninterested in anything but food and sleep, take a few minutes off and try using the treadmill, take a walk down the block or even dance to your favorite music (of course, music that will get you moving…not opera or something). 

    Final Thoughts

    As you make up your mind to try these tips out, understand that you are likely to experience hiccups in your plans. However, do not allow those interruptions stop you from making conscious efforts to stay motivated. Remember, you can achieve anything you put your mind to!

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    How To Stop Being Lazy
  • 30 Easy Ways To Make Someone Happy Today

    30 Easy Ways To Make Someone Happy Today

    It’s normal for anyone to get cranky, touchy or worked up every now and then. Seems like everyone on the equator has got a blue feeling to deal with lately, but hold up! Time to snap out of all that. Here are some quick and easy ways to make someone happy and make them smile today.


    Why make someone smile?

    Being alive is a gift and we shouldn’t forget that we must move on,  make the most of every opportunity to live a happy life and make others happy too. Speaking of making others happy, sometimes we feel like people differ and we seldom have a clue on what to do to bring a smile to someone’s face. 

    Nevertheless, there are few general ways to make people happy and brighten their day. Here are 30 sweet ways to make someone happy. It’s as easy as 1, 2…30!

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    Easy ways to make someone happy:

    1. Give Compliments

    Everyone loves to be told how awesome their hair looks or how lovely their outfit is. Complimenting people is a sure fire way to get them in a good mood. So when next a friend comes visiting, putting on a sad face, you could change their foul mood by letting them know how amazing their outfit looks. To make someone happy, keep the compliments rolling in.

    2. Smile

    A smile is contagious and laughter spreads faster. So next time you’re racking your brain on how to make someone happy, you could just smile while letting them know all will be well.

    3. Lend A Shoulder

    When  people go through difficult times or are just having a bad day, one way to chase away the blue feeling and make them happy is by being their listening ear and lending a shoulder for them to cry on. 

    When people talk about a problem or something that bothers them, the weight of worry and anxiety is often lifted off their mind. Who knows? You might even have the perfect solution to that problem. So when someone’s having a difficult time, have them talk to you about it (as long as they are comfortable with it). Remember, a problem shared is half solved.

    4. Surprise Visits 

    Imagine showing up at the front porch of your long time friend who you have not seen for a loooong time. The surprise, excitement and happiness that comes with this is enough to light up their world. 

    However, if you’re going to do this, ensure you actually have an idea of the schedule of your host in order to avoid hiccups in your plans. Surprises are great, but only when they come at the right time.

    5. Give To Charity

    Another great way to spread happiness and good tidings around you is by giving to charity. Charity homes and organizations sometimes lack basic amenities and supplies to keep them running effectively and a good way to make not just one person but a group of people happy is by giving to them. 

    Giving food supplies, clothing, beddings, toiletries and money are ways of spreading your kindness to others.

    6. Organize and Participate In Fundraisers

    Participating in fundraisers to help raise awareness about certain issues or raise funds for the needy and homeless will go a long way to make others happy.

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    7. Volunteer

    Being part of a community service not just because you’re an offender or serving detention but because you feel the need to is a way of spreading kindness. Sparing some hours to help make sure the community is up and running is such a beautiful way to make someone happy. 

    8. Call

    Everybody is into the whole 21st century texting, tagging and DM-ing that we only resort to calling people when we need help. For some people, calling feels like going back to the 90s. So when next you want to put a smile on your friend’s face, you could switch from the routine sending of texts by calling to check on them. I bet your call will have them smiling in seconds.

    9. Give Out 

    Okay so you probably do the traditional garage sales to make some cash off the things you don’t need in the house anymore. Great! However, you can be a little bit spontaneous this year. 

    You can organize a garage sale and have people come around then give those items away rather than sell them. If you can’t afford to give everything out, you can sell some and give out others.

    10. Check Up On Your Parents

    At times we get too busy with adulthood, routines and chasing the bag that we forget about primary relationships like the ones with our parents. They in turn are often unhappy  about our absence at home. 

    So, a good way to make them happy and keep up with the tracks you may have missed with them is by checking up on them. You can choose to pay them a visit or call them, either ways, you will be putting a smile on their faces.

    11. Spread Laughter

     Making people laugh till their ribs crack is like magic. And you don’t have to be a stand-up comedian to pull this off. Telling jokes, narrating a funny incident, sharing funny memes, stickers and cartoons are great starters. Of course, you can also get them a ticket to watch a stand-up comedy show!

    12. Lend A Helping Hand

     From helping someone pull up a zipper to fixing a broken screen and taking the clothes away from the line when it’s about to rain, nothing is too small to make someone smile. So when next someone is in need of help and you know it’s within your capacity to lend a hand, do not hesitate to do so.

    13. Give A Tip

    When you go out and you’d like to spread the aroma of kindness and happiness, you could tip the waiter or tell the cab driver to keep the change. A few dollars won’t hurt your pocket (much), rather it will make someone happy.

    14. Cheer

     You could be a cheerleader for a friend or colleague who’s got some challenges to deal with (no need to put on a mini skirt though).  Telling them how strong and capable they are and giving them words of encouragement when they’ve got issues to deal with or a presentation coming up will not only make them happy, but it will also boost their morale to do better.

    15. Help With The Chores

    So what if a friend tells you about how not so good their day went and how cranky that made them feel, and you’ve got little or no idea on what to do to make them feel better? Well, here’s one way.

     You could show you care by showing up at their house with some words of encouragement and some superpowers too. Helping them with the chores, petty tasks and cleaning the house will surely put a huge smile on their face. 

    16. Offer To Make Dinner

    Making sure your friend doesn’t go to bed on an empty stomach is a great way to show your kindness and lift their mood. So if you’ve got good culinary skills, then here’s a chance to put them to good use. Be a good person today by making their favorite meal or snack.

    17. Hangout With A Friend

    Just in case helping out with the chores feels like a feat too challenging to achieve and your culinary skills are nothing to speak of, you could make someone feel better by taking them out. Their favorite spot or restaurant are fun places they will greatly appreciate and be happy about.

    18. Write A Letter

    I know the days of fax machines and postal services are far spent. However, you can still make a loved one happy by writing to them. You could write about how wonderful they are and how blessed you are to have them, then have your delivery service finish the work. They’ll be so happy about it! 

    19. Commend

    When someone needs a referral or recommendation from you, not hesitating to help (as long as they actually deserve it) will go a long way to help their career. The same goes for writing reviews for your service providers and the products you consume. 

    Giving them a good review won’t hurt especially when it is well deserved. They are humans too, rather than leave that space blank, commend their efforts!

    20. Be grateful

    When people do things for you, say thank you. It’s simple courtesy.  Also, letting your friends, siblings, partner, or teammates know how glad you are to have them with you will go a long way in making them feel appreciated and loved. You shouldn’t always be expecting things from others, do your part to give what you can, no matter how little.

    21. Be Polite

    Nobody likes being disrespected. An act of kindness and politeness might be what will make someone’s day especially when they’ve had a haughty boss or colleague to deal with all day long.

    22. Plan A Surprise Holiday

    When next you want to make a friend happy and you’re well boxed up for it, you could go out of your way to plan a surprise weekend getaway. To make things more spicy, you could have them all set and packed and not let them know until you’re on the way to your destination. They’ll be thrilled! Of course, be sure their schedule allows for this before attempting such a surprise! 

    23. Sing

    Whether your vocal cords are as good as Celine Dion’s or they are as terrible as a bear’s (can bears even sing?), singing for a friend is a perfect mood lifter and a good way to make them happy.  

    It’s either you get them smiling with admiration and blushing or rolling on the floor with laughter at your attempt to deliver a good performance. Either way, you’ll be spreading happiness.

    24. Give Thoughtful Gifts

    Perhaps your friend has been complaining about their faulty mobile device or they won’t stop talking about a stunning outfit they noticed some days ago. How about you make them delighted by getting them those things? They will definitely appreciate it.

    25. Say Hello

    Smiling and saying “hello” to a stranger could make them smile back and leave a happy memory in their heart. 

    26. Apologize

    When things turn sour or go haywire between you and a friend, and you are at fault, the best way to restore your relationship and be happy again is by apologizing sincerely. Saying “I’m sorry” when you mean it works a great deal of magic here.

    27. Spend Quality Time

    By now, you should be aware that making others happy is not always about giving them material things. Although physical gifts are awesome, the best gift you can give someone is your time. An important way to make a loved one happy is by spending quality time with them. 

    28. Remember Special Events

    If you remember dates that are special to someone, you will win a place in their heart. Observing/celebrating those days with  them will not only strengthen your bond, but it will also make them glad to have you in their life.

    29. Give Reassurance

    Sometimes, what someone who feels down wants to hear is how much better things can be, how great they are doing and what things they can do to be a better person. What other way is there to warm their heart other than being the one to give these reassuring words?

    30. Be Happy With You

    “Make someone smile everyday, but don’t forget  you are someone too.” – Anonymous.

    Yeah! It’s good to be a universal joy giver and cheerleader, however, it’s also important to understand that you cannot pour from an empty cup. You have got to look after yourself first. Practice self care, understand what’s best for you and do it.

    Do your favorites, chase the bag but don’t forget to relax and enjoy the benefits of your work too. Be happy with you. It is only when you are happy that you will be well motivated to spread the happiness within you.  Who knows? Someone might be motivated by your happiness to be happy too!

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  • 10 Tips To Be A Better Listener And Build Stronger Relationships

    10 Tips To Be A Better Listener And Build Stronger Relationships

    Communication is a two-way thing; speaking and listening. But often, people tend to incline towards speaking more than listening. Today I want to share some tips with you on how you can be a better listener.

    Nobody wants to listen. Everybody wants to speak.

    Do you remember having a conversation with your boss, and you were always thinking about what next to say? At that point, not all your attention was on what your boss was saying — even though you were listening. Or perhaps you were having an argument with your partner without really understanding their point because you were already coming up with your retort.

    This is because half of your brain was processing his messages in bits and fractions, while the other half was busy readying a response. And as a result, you ended up not understanding exactly what the other person was telling you. 

    It’s simple; you were more concerned with your response than your boss’s message.

    But then, it’s not entirely your fault. After all, we all naturally prefer to be heard — even when it means not hearing others. That is why today, there are very few who can communicate effectively. 

    Why Become A Better Listener?

    Unfortunately, poor communication can single-handedly cost you a lot in life. Many people fail important interviews because they don’t listen before they speak. Also, ineffective communication can result in a meltdown in an organization as all involved parties fail to deliver or process  received messages. As a result, there’ll be poor teamwork, misunderstandings and conflict.

    So, the point is; if you aim to communicate more effectively, then you have to prioritize listening. But not to worry, carefully compiled here are 10 tips that will help you be a better listener. Let’s get right into it!

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    How To Become Better At Listening

    1. Do Not Try To Give The Best Response

    The reason many people fail to communicate effectively is that they focus more on giving the best possible response than receiving the message effectively. In a bid to give the best reply, we divide our mental faculty into two; one listening subconsciously, the other preparing for a response. Not very wise I tell you. 

    The moment you listen subconsciously while trying to figure out a good response, you will most likely get lost in thoughts. That’s why you often appear absent-minded during conversations.

    How can you deal with this?

    During conversations, remind yourself to avoid drafting any response in your mind. This might seem difficult at first because it’s always easy to drift into thinking mode… But over time, you’ll certainly get used to worrying less about your responses.

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    2. Stay Quiet When Necessary

    “Silence…”, they say, “… is golden”.

    One of the best ways to be a better listener is by remaining silent when the other person is speaking! No wonder Epictetus said; “Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak.”

    The truth is, many of us can’t process a message quickly. That is why after someone stops talking, you tend to find that you don’t have an immediate response. In such situations, even if the silence feels awkward, don’t panic and hurry into a response. You might end up sounding stupid.

    Instead, take a chill pill and pause for a second, while you recollect and process every piece of information you received (of course, not an exaggeratedly long time that will make the other person think you’ve zoned out!). This will enable you to compile your thoughts and draft a meaningful response. 

    Fortunately, you won’t require so much time to come up with a reply. Just a few seconds of silence will go a long way to solve the puzzle and nobody will notice it. 

    3. Listen For The Sake Of Learning 

    Another good way to be a better listener is by listening to learn! When listening to your favorite teacher who teaches your favorite subject (sounds too good to be true huh), there is no way you won’t understand whatever he says. The reason is that you listened to learn — because you are interested in the subject.

    Now, you can do the same when having normal conversations with your friends, co-workers, or even your boss. Listen as if you are learning from them. Sure, you might not literally learn a lesson from every conversation you hold with someone, but at least, when you listen to learn, you’ll certainly understand the direction of the conversation.

    Here is a trick that will help you to listen and learn:

    Tell yourself; “I will tell someone else everything about this discussion later on”. This idea will force you to naturally be alert and attentive while the conversation is underway. You will be forced to ask more questions and as a result, you’ll remember all the vital points.

    4. Maintain Eye Contact 

    Eye contact, eye contact, eye contact, eye contact… Okay, I’ll stop repeating this now. Maintaining steady (or at least moderate) eye contact during a conversation can perform some real magic! There is a positive energy that comes with looking at the face of the person you’re discussing with as it draws your full attention to the discussion.

    On the other hand, looking around and avoiding regular eye contact will make it seem like you are not listening. That’s often why people ask, “Are you listening to what I’m saying?” If you are not used to regular eye contact, it might take you a long while to master the art. But then, keep practicing. 

    5. Don’t Be Forced To Speak Because Of A Pause

    This remains a major challenge as long as effective communication is concerned. Most people are quite uncomfortable whenever there seems to be silence during a conversation.

    You shouldn’t perceive any single pause as an opportunity to start talking again. Just so you know, in group meetings, people normally wait for silence before they can spring into action and make some point. 

    Besides, everyone needs a few seconds to prepare their point, so it’s normal to have a few pauses during conversations… And you must learn to leave those pauses alone. Talk only when you want to make a point, not because the other person is silent and you are uncomfortable with it. 

    In this line of thought, Plato asserted; “Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something”.    

    6. Put Away That Phone 

    This is where most of us are found wanting. Most times, we are carried away by our smartphones that we hardly concentrate well during important conversations.

    Surfing the internet with your mobile phone while trying to listen to someone usually results in missing some part of the discussion. Moreover, the person (who is speaking) will be disappointed — because it appears you are not listening to them.

    Therefore, if you can, just put down the phone while listening, unless you want to type out something regarding the conversation.

    7. Ask Questions When Necessary — Don’t Try To Mind-Read

    Another important way to be a better listener is by asking questions if you have to. Don’t be tempted to mind-read the other person because it is quite difficult (if not impossible) to read minds! 

    You’ll agree that many of us have tried to read minds on many occasions. In fact, many conversations are initiated from mind reading. To deal with this, whenever you feel the impulse to make assumptions, just pause. If possible, caution yourself inwardly. Learn to be more curious. Be free to ask questions.

    8. Always Summarize

    Although it is okay to pay attention to detail — if you must be a good listener — you have to pay attention to the summary as well. Especially if the speaker has a lot to say. Taking a few seconds to summarize what someone has said makes it a lot easier to understand the full statement.

    9. Acknowledge The Words Of The Other Person

    As I said earlier, communication is a two-way thing; to speak and to listen. 

    To ensure that effective communication is taking place, you not only listen but also have to acknowledge the words of the speaker. Doing this gives the speaker an impression that you are actually listening to them.

    Acknowledging other people’s words might be in the form of replying “hmm”, “uhmm”, “yes”, “wow”, etc. It makes every speaker feel heard, respected, and appreciated. Of course, don’t exaggerate this. If you keep repeating “hmm, wow” to every single thing said, it will become obvious you’re “mindlessly listening”.

    10. Suggest What You Did In A Similar Situation

    If done correctly (especially when asked for advice), sharing what worked for you in a similar situation is another way to prove that you truly understood the other person. It also builds a kind of connection and synergy between the two of you while the conversation is going on.

    However, you should avoid intruding on the other person (with your experience) while they are still speaking or trying to make a point – that’s a bad listening habit.

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    Final Thoughts

    In conclusion, always remember that, first, communication is not all about speaking but also about listening. Second, you are not in any form of competition with anybody to make a better point. So, speak only when necessary!

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  • 8 Tips On How To Remove Toxic People In Your Life

    8 Tips On How To Remove Toxic People In Your Life

    In life, we meet different kinds of people — the good, the bad, and the ugly (and definitely the ugly-disguised-as-good too). But life is too short to have draining and toxic people sucking up all your energy. So today I want to share some tips on how to remove toxic people in your life.


    Though ordinarily, we would prefer to cross paths with only those who bring smiles to our faces, the reality is; both the bad and ugly fellas who bring discomfort to our lives play a part in molding us into who we are — if not for anything, their criticisms make us stronger than ever.

    Life can never be complete if you only have one caliber of people in it. We need an element of goodness, badness, and ugliness to strike the required balance.

    Having a few bad people around you isn’t the main issue here. The major problem is knowing how to manage them and keep them in their places, especially since some people may not be so easy to get rid of. For instance, if the bad person is your mom, it’s not as simple as writing her off your life for good.

    However, nowadays, many people have more bad and ugly people to deal with than they ever had good ones. This in turn makes life simply miserable for them. In that case, it’s important to detoxify your life by eliminating such people from it. And of course, that’s what we’ll be dissecting in this article!

     

     

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    But then, who is a toxic person?

    Let’s not get this all wrong. The truth is, a lot of people use the word “toxic” where it is far from necessary.

    Some people are simply annoying and difficult to deal with.

    You can’t call such people toxic. And you are not meant to handle a difficult person the same way you deal with a toxic person.

    Say, for instance, you have a friend who;

    • Takes over and monopolizes
    • Always is the center of attention
    • Won’t return your phone calls, e-mails, texts, etc.
    • Won’t get committed to anything
    • Isn’t accountable and doesn’t take responsibility
    • Tells some “white lies”
    • Tends to say what you like to hear — not necessarily the truth

    Such a friend is actually a difficult and annoying person to deal with. Once you understand them better, you can still compromise and have a relationship with them. However, if a difficult person is not kept in their place, such difficulty could intensify into toxicity.

    On the other hand, if you are mixed up with a really toxic person, you’ll notice that they are;

    • Manipulative
    • Abusive
    • Easily angered
    • Bully you with unnecessary jokes and demeaning remarks
    • Negative
    • Always in crises and often play the victim
    • Always Right — never buy other people’s views
    • Habitual liars
    • Trouble makers – relish seeing others tremble in fear
    • Enjoy seeing others in difficulty
    • Envious
    • Often with ulterior motives
    • Twist your words and give them a negative meaning
    • Without boundaries
    • Always leaving you feeling drained

    Now, there is no doubt a toxic person is far deadlier than just a difficult person as they tend to halt your progress and stall your general growth. So, the urgency in eliminating them from your life is… pretty high. 

    The magic question now is, how do you remove toxic people in your life?

     

     

    How To Remove Toxic People In Your Life

    Getting rid of toxic people can hit back at you if you don’t go about it the right way — just like surgery can either cure a patient or complicate issues if not well done.

    On that note, here are 8 realistic tips on how to remove toxic people in your life:

     

     

    1. Identify Toxicity And It’s Side Effects

    In order to cure a disease, you first have to diagnose it. To eliminate toxic people, you must first identify their traits and understand the dangers of keeping them around!

    It might be difficult for a toxic person to completely undermine your efforts towards self-improvement. But then, what if they do? The best-case scenario is; they will stall your progress. And I’m sure you don’t want to keep someone hell-bent on bringing you down. 

    A toxic fella can make you second-guess yourself on vital decisions. They make you feel sad, uncomfortable, and even ashamed about your improvement. Like, what the heck man?

    Another severe danger attached to toxicity is that it is highly infectious! You might just end up adopting the same toxic qualities you despise in others — because toxic people have a unique way of making you toxic yourself. That’s how it works. It’s pretty common to see such incidents. And often, it happens without you realizing it.

    For instance, have you ever worked under a toxic boss? They bully, intimidate, hate, and manipulate you until you start building a hard shell as a defense mechanism. Before you know it, you’re already becoming irritable to your junior colleagues — just like your boss! Consequently, the toxicity continues to spread within the organization. 

    Understanding how dangerously infectious such people can be will move you into taking the necessary measures to limit their influence in your life.

     

     

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    2. Bear In Mind That It Can Take Some Time

    Another thing you should understand is that removing toxic people in your life is one hell of a job — it takes time! You have to be rational enough to take it gradually. Toxic people are pretty resilient and will always be on your neck. Even when you try to shut them out, they tend to come back.

    So, you have to bear in mind that it’s a gradual process and will probably take a while. However, you must maintain your resistance.

     

     

    3. Get Clear With Them On Your Boundaries 

    Don’t mince words with such lethal people. Be plain, clear, and precise with them about your likes and dislikes. Get them to know their limits in the most understandable way. Let your intentions be known, and make sure your words are not misconstrued.

    As part of your boundaries, avoid keeping quiet when you sense toxic behavior. Quietness often gives them the idea that you’ve conceded. This motivates them to keep going. If you agree with them partly, simply explain to them the extent to which you agree with them. Like; “I agree with you on…, but I totally disagree with you on the rest.”

    Also, don’t just set the boundaries, you also have to stick to them as firmly as possible. Failing to do so will mean you having those toxic people sneak back into your life!

    If you’ve already decided not to return their texts, you don’t have to be tempted to text them back just to fulfil all righteousness. If you’ve already blocked them on Instagram, please don’t be tempted to unblock. 

    Setting a boundary for toxic people is good, but maintaining that boundary is far more important.

     

     

    4. Remember, You Owe Them No Explanation

    To be honest; you actually don’t owe negative people any explanation as to what you’ve decided or the boundaries you’ve set.

    Sure, it’s okay to make yourself well understood. But then any further explanation you’re giving them is likely giving them more grounds to counter you. So, say what you must say, and keep your cool thereafter.

    Be kind enough to let them know that both of you have gotten to the end of the road in the relationship and it’s time to call it a day. Preferably, just keep it as simple as ABC; tell them you no longer need them in your life. There is no need to give them room for further debate! Ain’t nobody got time for that.

     

     

    5. Be Nice, But Then Don’t Overdo It

    It has never been recorded that being good is evil. We often hear people telling sad tales on how they regret being kind to a bad person. But the truth is; nobody regrets being kind. You only regret kindness when you weren’t kind in the first place. You only feel remorse for kindness when you faked it or when it didn’t come from the real you. Genuine kindness shouldn’t hurt no matter the final outcome.

    That being said, you can easily extend your kindness to toxic people. Be compassionate at times and give them the benefit of doubt. Listen to them if they have any complaints —  know if there is any way you can help. Just because they complain always doesn’t mean they don’t have real burdens or difficulties. Perhaps complaining is the only way they can express themselves. It’s also possible they feel like no one is listening, so they keep complaining and hoping that one day someone might finally understand them.

    Sure, due to their toxicity, they may accuse you no matter how nice you are to them. But remember, the kindness is just you being yourself. First, you’ll feel good when you are real. Secondly, you’ll appreciate yourself more if you don’t stoop to their level and join their negativity. 

    Always bear in mind that even when you are kind, such negative people will refer to you as unkind. It is part of their ploys to frustrate you and get you off balance. Disregard such weak tactics of theirs and keep being yourself!

    Nonetheless, you should also be sensible enough to know when to step away. Being kind doesn’t mean you should go around drinking with toxic people. Exposing yourself unnecessarily makes you quite vulnerable.

     

     

    6. Minimize Having Conversations With Them

    If you must, mind the kind of topics you discuss with them. This is very important. 

    One of the best ways to remove toxic people in your life — or at least limit the threat they pose — is by reducing the rate at which you hold conversations with them. The more you talk to toxic people, the more likely you are to get hurt. 

    If you must discuss with such people, let it be fact-based communication. Ensure the topic is purely relatable to everyone, as in, common (objective) knowledge.

    Avoid involving yourself with them in topics that have to do with sentiments, subjectivism or personal perceptions. No need discussing topics related to politics, religion, culture, ethnicity, race, even sports! Simply put, if you get yourself involved in such, it’s definitely going to be a disaster. It won’t end well.

    There are instances where people got seriously hurt (emotionally) because they weren’t smart enough to be careful with the topics they discussed with this type of people. On some occasions, it went as far as resulting in physical abuse. So, trust me on this; you have to tread cautiously.

     

     

    7. Know Your Weaknesses And Accept Them

    There is a popular saying that goes; you don’t fall down when you’re already on the ground! Dealing with toxicity is not child’s play. It can get to the extent that such a poisonous person might discover your weakness and perpetually use it against you.

    To reduce their ability to act on your flaws, you must know and accept your weaknesses. Here is the trick; once they discover you’ve already acknowledged what you suck at, they are less likely to use it against you as it won’t cause much damage. 

    Most negative people are not just comfortable if their hard-devised ploy to infuriate you fails to work on you. So they won’t mock you with the weaknesses you already owned up to. With that, they may just get bored and give up — at least for a while.

    But then, you don’t just stop at owning up to your weaknesses. You have to work on yourself and get better at those things that make you flop. Dedicate your time and energy to self-improvement as it will help boost your confidence against toxic people.

     

     

    8. Keep A Safe Distance And Surround Yourself With Positive People

    Finally, ensure you keep a safe distance from toxic people. Stop calling and texting them if possible. Block them on social media if it becomes a means to reduce the distance. 

    Avoid mingling with people who are likely to draw you closer to any form of toxicity. Rather, surround yourself with positive people. Staying closer to positive people will prevent you from having mixed feelings when you finally let go of toxic people.

    Besides, positive people make you feel safe, cherished and happy. And that’s exactly what you need.


    To conclude, always remember that you own your life, and your happiness is your responsibility. If all it takes to make you happy is to remove toxic people in your life, then what are you waiting for?

     

     

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  • 9 Powerful Ways To Stop Being Judgmental Of Others

    9 Powerful Ways To Stop Being Judgmental Of Others

    Being judgmental; we all have it in us. I mean, is there anyone who can come out boldly and say they have never judged someone else at some point? Heck, they probably didn’t even realize it. But we should all strive to improve ourselves, and learning how to stop being judgmental of others is one way we can all learn to be a bit better.

    You’ve probably found yourself sometimes criticizing someone for what you think is unfair, immoral, or unjust — without placing yourself in their shoes.

    Most times, we fail to get all the necessary details before passing those judgments. Other times, we lay the blame as if we are perfect. Spoiler alert, nobody is!

    Being judgmental is not only about what we say to others but also about how we treat them (via our actions). For instance, have you ever avoided someone because you think they’re a bad person? Have you ever boycotted an event simply because you think it’s for “people of lower social status”? 

    Then truth be told, you’re judgmental in both cases. Even without uttering a word, you already judged them for their personality and social status respectively.

    It is quite unhealthy to blame, criticize, downplay, or mock other people simply because you think they’re not any better. And if you are mixed up in that habit, you need to key into this article to stop being judgmental.

    Judging others is morally, socially, and emotionally undermining. Remember, when you judge others for their wrongdoing, you are not even helping them to become better, you’re only causing them more pain.

    So, instead of passing those harsh judgments, learn to be more friendly and advisory. Instead of being too quick to criticize and blame people, learn to be more inquisitive and empathetic. Understand why they are the way they are… place yourself in their shoes!

    With that said, here are 9 practical ways to stop being judgmental:

     

     

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    1. Understand That No One Is Perfect

    Show me a person who is entirely free of mistakes and I will show you the greatest pretender of our era. It’s simple, we all make mistakes. It’s unavoidable.

    As long as you’re a human, you have your deficiencies — that’s a fact. So being too quick to point out other people’s mistakes isn’t the right thing to do. No wonder a popular quote has it that “he who is sinless should throw the first stone”.

    Instead of judging others for their shortcomings, you have to be more understanding. And the first thing you should understand is; just like the person you are judging, you (and literally everyone) aren’t perfect. We all have our shortcomings.

     

     

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    2. Judge Yourself Not Others

    The best way to refrain from the habit of judging others is to understand that there are lots of things we can judge ourselves for.

    Instead of judging others, focus on your inadequacies, and try to become a better person yourself. This will help you to discover more of your weaknesses and less of others. This way, it will be easier for you to fix yourself.

    Related: 30 Ways To Improve Yourself Little By Little Every Day

     

     

    3. Show More Empathy

    Becoming more empathetic is arguably the biggest step you have to take if you want to stop being judgmental. The world will be a better place if, instead of judging others, you put yourself in their positions and imagine how it feels to be in their shoes.

    The moment you start showing more empathy towards people, your viewpoint about them will change. You will be more engrossed with sympathy than you are engrossed with blames, hence, you won’t judge them! 

     

     

    4. Correct Them Instead Of Criticizing

    It’s far more honorable to be the reason why someone knew better than to be the reason why they gave up on themselves. Many critics see criticism as a way to help people become better at whatever they do. 

    While this is not entirely wrong, often, criticism is more destructive than constructive! Criticism doesn’t work for everyone. Some people were forced to work harder and prove their critics wrong. But many others who faced criticism simply gave up because they felt judged and were left devastated.

    If you want a reliable way to make people grow and get better, then instead of throwing criticism around, simply correct them and show them the right way to go about things.

    People do not get devastated by correction. It is also unlikely for someone to quit because you corrected them… but the same cannot be said about criticism. This is because a correction is constructive, but criticism is destructive.

    So, if you want to stop being judgmental, learn to be more constructive and less destructive — correct people instead of criticizing them.

     

     

    5. Be More Inquisitive!

    Instead of being inclined to judge others, be more determined to know them a little more. Don’t be in a rush to make conclusions about people. Don’t be too quick to condemn or blame people. 

    Instead, learn to spend more time getting to know and appreciate them better. Do not be aggressive to them. Approach them, chat with them, and listen to their stories so you can understand their lives better. 

    When you know people deeper and understand their entire story, you will realize that they’re not really what you think they are.

    Related: How To Have An Abundance Mindset: 10 Habits To Cultivate

     

     

    6. Mind Your Business

    Life, generally, will be much easier and straightforward if we are all determined to mind our business! A lot of the problems in the world could be solved if we learn to focus on ourselves.

    “Be so focused on being happy, improving yourself, and being better than the person you were yesterday that you hardly realize what’s going on with other people around you… In short, mind your business”. ~Dru Edmund Kucherera

    When you’re busy analyzing other people’s lives and looking for their imperfections, your time and energy will be drained and you’ll be less productive in life. Therefore, learn to mind your business — it pays a whole lot (maybe not cash, but you get it).

    Related: How To Remove Negativity From Your Life And Be Happier

     

     

    7. Stop Hating On Them

    One of the main reasons people judge others is that they’re filled with hate. When people despise others, they tend to see only their dark sides. They pick out faults and have lots of ill conclusions to make about them.

    If you truly plan to stop being judgmental of others, you have to get rid of the hatred in your heart. Be kind to people, so you may see their light. Be friendly so you may see their good sides and refrain from judging them.

     

     

    8. Stay Humble

    Another factor that propels people to be judgmental in nature is Pride. When you are so full of yourself, all you will see in others is their weaknesses.

    If you are going to desist from judging people, then you have to stay humble and learn to accept and treat everyone as equals.

     

     

    9. Stop The Jealousy And Envy 

    Being judgmental can also be as a result of severe jealousy and envy. When someone is envious, they feel very uncomfortable with the idea that someone else is better than them. Hence, they will do everything possible to bring them down. Whether it takes being critical or judgmental.

    So, stop it — just stop.


    In addition to this list of ways to stop being judgmental, I’d like to conclude with; allow love to lead. 

    With love, you will neither degrade nor judge others.

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  • How To Stop Wasting Time And Become Productive

    How To Stop Wasting Time And Become Productive

    Time waits for nobody. It literally flies and never stops flying. The best we can do is maximize the usage of time because whatever we do with our time is strictly up to us. Today I want to share some tips on how to stop wasting time and become more productive.

    One dangerous fact about time is that wasted time is like a deficit to your destiny. Because that time you wasted is gone and can NEVER be replaced. That amount of time you squandered procrastinating and being unproductive is like a void that must be filled. 

    All those undone tasks, uninitiated projects, unfinished businesses, and unachieved goals are still there waiting for you to take responsibility and get them done — but time will never wait for you, it keeps ticking. And before you know it, you will run out of time to make things happen. 

    The importance of time management and productivity cannot be overemphasized. But unfortunately, many of us suck at it. That’s why we always struggle to maintain a high level of productivity.

    It’s pretty normal for the average person to get a bit sluggish at times, after all, we can’t possibly be at our best every day. But then making it a habit to stay unproductive is just unreasonable.

    When you procrastinate and spend unproductive time watching Netflix all day, scrolling through your social media, and failing to adopt practical steps towards achieving your goals, you are only limiting yourself from being productive and reaching your full potential.

     

     

    How to stop wasting time and be productive

    Being productive simply means making the most of your time! It doesn’t necessarily mean “doing a lot of things”. You can actually be all over the place, carrying out lots of tasks, but in the end, you’re still not productive.

    You simply don’t have to do so much in order to consider yourself efficient, you just have to do what matters.

    Funny enough, when you always do a lot, chances are you are mostly doing stuff that doesn’t matter. After all, there are actually very few things that matter in life. And without focusing on those few things, you won’t be productive.

    But…all hope is not lost because in this article, I will be focusing on how to stop wasting time and become productive. If you actually apply these tips I’m sure you will see a positive change in your life.

     

     

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    1. Develop A Productive Mindset

    The mind is a very powerful tool that can be used to foster transformation. Every movement towards change starts from the mind. 

    Depending on your mindset, you’re either heading towards success or failure. So, if you are going to be productive, your mindset must be improved to the point where it operates optimally. There is no way you’ll procrastinate or spend your precious time on frivolities if you are positive as a person. Instead, making the most of your time will be your priority.

    When you have the right mentality, there won’t be anything like a difficult task, rather, there can only be important tasks. As a result, you won’t hesitate to get things done, because it’s “important” to do so.

    Moreover, there are certain ingredients you really need to fix into your thought process if you are really going to learn how to stop wasting time and become productive as an individual. Examples are:

    • Vision: You need to have a dream before you even get started with setting those goals.
    • Motivation: This element is quite important to maintain your pace towards achieving your goals.
    • Persistence: You need to have a strong will to overcome any difficulty you might face.
    • Positive Attitude: Finally, your attitude is who you are. It can make or mar the whole procedure in life. You need to embrace a positive attitude in order to be productive.

     

     

    2. Set Goals

    To be efficient in whatever you do, you have to get clear on what you want to achieve, and the best way to create such clarity is by setting goals.

    Without a goal, you are more like a traveler who is eager to embark on a journey but then has no destination, no compass, and no map! Trust me, going on such a journey is the easiest way to get lost!

    The same thing is applicable to you if you don’t have any goal — you will never be productive and will never arrive at your desired destination (success).

    With goals, you have a sense of purpose and direction!

    However, when setting those goals, also give yourself a deadline to achieve them because deadlines give you a sense of urgency to get things done as fast as possible. Consequently, there won’t be unnecessary time wastage.

     

     

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    3. Take It One Step At A Time — Stop Multitasking

    As I mentioned earlier, productivity is not about doing lots of things, but about making the most of your time by doing what matters.

    Seriously, you don’t have to multitask in order to be productive. You just have to take things little by little. Any little step you take towards achieving your goals is actually an act of productivity. You don’t necessarily have to beat yourself up in order to feel useful.

    Most of us have this belief that multitasking helps us to save time and stay productive, but that’s really a misconception.

    According to a study, the average human brain cannot fully focus when multitasking. And as a result, it takes much more time to complete your tasks. Besides, when you multitask, you are likely to make a lot of mistakes. This is the opposite of being productive don’t you think?

     

     

    4. Apply The Pareto Principle 

    The “Pareto principle”, also known as the “80-20 rule” states that 80% of outcomes come from 20% of efforts. This principle simply recommends that you focus on the efforts that bring greater outcomes!

    In other words, if you want to be productive with the limited time at your disposal, you have to figure out and concentrate on that special task which, when completed, will go a long way to bring you closer to achieving your ultimate goals. 

     

     

    5. Start With The Most Difficult And Important Tasks

    According to Brian Tracy, if you must eat two frogs, start with the ugliest!

    It’s pretty common to fall for the temptation of starting with easier chores — well, Brian Tracy suggests that you should totally avoid this temptation if you want to achieve your end goals. Start by outlining those difficult tasks. If possible, write them down in their order of importance. 

    Here is a representation:

    • Important and urgent (1st)
    • Important but not urgent (2nd)
    • Urgent but not important (3rd)
    • Not urgent and not important (Last)

    Ranking your tasks in this manner is very important as it will give you a clue on which one to tackle first. But then, you must discipline yourself to stick to this order and avoid the temptation of starting with simple chores. 

    Plus, once you determine the most difficult tasks, you have to get started immediately. Because the more you sit and stare at those “dirty jobs”, the more they scare the hell out of you. Consequently, you might even end up procrastinating (as usual).

    If you start off with those rigorous tasks, your confidence will be boosted by the time you are faced with easier tasks. In fact, you will be motivated to get more things done — and pretty fast.

     

     

    6. Be Conscious Of Time

    No matter how good you think you are when it comes to time management, once you start keeping track of how you spend every minute, you’ll be amazed by the amount of time you waste doing absolutely nothing!

    In order to learn how to stop wasting time, you have to be time-conscious. It’s as simple as that. There is no way you can tell if you’re consuming too much time when you don’t make a deliberate effort to take note of what you do with time and what you don’t.

    Now, to be more time-conscious, and to make the most of your time, ask yourself these questions:

    • What would I do if I had more time today?
    • What are the obstacles I face that prevent me from making the most of my time?
    • In what ways can I overcome these obstacles?
    • What steps should I take to be in perfect control of my schedule?
    • What are the tasks I seem to carry out effectively in the morning?
    • Which chores do I do better in the afternoon and at night?
    • What are the tasks that are too time-consuming?
    • What tasks should I delegate to other people?

     

     

    7. Make Your Chores Part of a Routine

    How do you feel when your duties are more like everyday routines? Pretty normal right? Well, another way to simplify things and manage your time effectively is by routinizing your daily tasks. Having a routine not only makes things feel a lot easier but also makes your decisions come much faster.

    To create the best possible routine, you have to establish a schedule starting from your top priorities to the very least. Carefully plan your day in such a way that it will be possible to keep track of all the events you have for each day.

    As part of your routine, constantly revisit your to-do list to see how far you’ve progressed. The joy you derive when your progress is massive will motivate you to do more!

    One good thing about routinizing your tasks is that it makes you more organized and calculated. Moreover, you will be one step ahead of time because you’re already aware of what to expect each day — even the day before. 

     

     

    8. Learn To Say No To What Doesn’t Matter 

    One common weakness most of us have is the ability to say NO when we should. Knowing how to stop wasting time is, in fact, knowing how to start saying NO to things that don’t matter.

    And just so you know, anything that doesn’t add up to achieving your end-goal shouldn’t matter to you.

    When you fail to pinpoint and ignore the things that really don’t matter, you will continue to patronize those things that are not in line with your goals… Then, you keep wasting your time and in the end, you will struggle to achieve your end goals.

     

     

    9. Delegate Your Tasks

    Hi there, human. It is high time you realized that you can’t do it all alone. At times, you might actually need help!

    When you feel like your responsibilities are becoming overwhelming, you have to delegate some of them to your trusted friends, family, or any other person around you.

    If you want to make the most of your time, there is no need to struggle so much with one task until you’re stuck — seek help from someone who knows better than you in that field. It does not make you weak or dull… in fact, it makes you super smart because it implies you know how to manage your time!

    It’s normal to feel stuck at times. And it’s okay to get confused and not know the way forward. It simply means you are human and you need help. And trust me, we all need help at some point in life.

    Therefore, don’t hesitate to ask for assistance if you really want to become more efficient.

     

     

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    Final thoughts

    Sure, it takes a whole lot of determination and discipline to maintain a high level of productivity. However, if you really want to be more efficient in carrying out your tasks, you have to start by managing your time effectively. 

    You’re off to a great start by reading this and learning how to stop wasting your time!

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  • 12 Powerful Keys To Success In Life Only Smart People Know

    12 Powerful Keys To Success In Life Only Smart People Know

    Navigating through life can be like a rollercoaster ride. Most successful people passed through a lot before they got to that peak you see today. Really, nothing good comes easily. But there are some tips and keys to success in life which I believe will help you go further, and I want to share them with you today.

    I’m sure you’ve come across so many articles and books on “how to be successful”. Perhaps you haven’t been able to find the answer to your big question, which is what brings you here.

     

     

    What is “success”?

    Everyone has their own perception of what success looks like, but to be successful, you must ensure you are tilting towards the right ideology. For most economists, success is basically measured by your ability to satisfy your unlimited wants (to a large extent) using the available scarce resources. This, in other words, equates success to financial freedom. 

    But then philosophically speaking, “success” is a broader concept and shouldn’t be narrowed down to only “financial freedom”. To a philosopher, success is the ability to obtain whatever gives you ultimate happiness. Of course, it could be money, love, or simply a peaceful home. 

    However, from all indications, and from every definition provided by several experts, one can say that success is simply the ability to find a purpose in life. And honestly, when you find your purpose in life, you will be happy. That explains why people who are truly successful are often happier in life. 

    Success is not all about how much you’ve got in your bank account (although we really wouldn’t mind having a lot in there). It’s not all about those sleek cars, or the expensive jewelry, shoes, and clothes. It’s actually about finding your purpose – which is your source of happiness.

    See, there are people who have all the money and luxury that life can possibly offer, yet, they are not happy. It’s simply because they’ve not found their true purpose.

    The reason you are super happy when you pass a final exam is because at that point in time, you literally achieved your purpose. So, passing an ordinary exam makes you more successful than a wealthy man who is unhappy. 

     

     

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    Success and happiness

    Life is meaningless without happiness. Everything you do, you do it to be happy.

    No wonder Tony Robbins asserted that; “success is to live your life in a way that causes you to feel a ton of pleasure and very little pain — and because of your lifestyle, have the people around you feel a lot more pleasure than they do pain”.

    Just so you know, you cannot talk about success without purpose, and you can’t talk about purpose without happiness. So, in order to find your purpose and happiness, you must first understand what exactly success means to you.

    Understanding what success means to you will make you appreciate this article more!

    Now, pay attention, this particular piece is going to be a realistic one… As realistic as possible. Right here, I will take you through a practical guide towards success, because success is not all about what you know, but mainly about what you can do.

    Alright, let’s get to it. Here are 12 real keys to success in life:

     

     

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    1. Envision Your Success

    Every success story starts with a dream. Truly successful people have visions and it is that vision that propelled them to what they are today.

    So, the first key to success in life is to envision your success. Dream about it. Imagine yourself being somewhere great in the near future.

    The best way to do this is to find a quiet moment and ask yourself; where do you want to be in the next five or ten years?

    Meditate on it.

    The moment you ask yourself this question and reflect on it deeply, that’s when your big dreams start. The power of dreams cannot be overemphasized.

    Accordingly, Benjamin Mays insinuated; the tragedy of life is not about failing to achieve your dreams but is mainly about not having any dream to achieve in life.

     

     

    2. Plan For Success 

    After you have envisioned where you want to be, the next thing is to plan towards that dream. You are fully responsible for your success. And part of how to take responsibility for your success is by planning towards it.

    Failing to make plans towards your success is like planning for your failure! The significance of effective planning can never be overstated as far as success is concerned. The moment you start planning towards success, you are already living successfully, because planning is like culture to successful people.

    To plan effectively, here are some great ways to start:

    • Set some realistic goals to have clarity and direction towards anything you want to achieve.
    • Give yourself a deadline – this will motivate you to pursue your goals earnestly.
    • Outline some strategies on how to achieve those goals.
    • Be practical; take it gradually – every little step matters.
    • Finally, ensure you follow up.

     

     

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    3. Sleep And Wake Up Early 

    Success can easily be measured by your level of productivity. And there is no way you can be productive when you have sleeping problems. Sleeping adequately can go a long way to stabilize your life. It relaxes your body and mind – and improves your general wellbeing. Consequently, productivity will not be so difficult to achieve.

    Remember, Benjamin Franklin once said; early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. We all agree that Benjamin knows his stuff, so sleeping and waking up early has always been one of the keys to success in life.

     

     

    4. Be Decisive, Disciplined, And Determined

    I call these three words “The 3-Ds”… Because they strictly go hand in hand, in hand. 

    When it comes to living a successful life, you have to be decisive, disciplined, and determined. First, you have to decide to be successful. This decision comes with your willingness and zeal to start off the journey towards success.

    After you have decided (to succeed), the next in line is the determination to succeed. You need to be strong-willed in order to emerge a winner. Remember, nothing good comes to you easily. There will be lots of tumbling blocks. But your ability to remain tenacious is what truly matters. 

    The next is discipline. Aside from determination, you need to be disciplined enough to stick to your decision until you achieve your desired result. Discipline is the ability to remain steadfast in your mission without deviating or behaving in a way that undermines your entire effort. 

    Being disciplined makes you control and adjust your behavior to fall in line with your decision (goals).

    In a nutshell, when you combine these three and make them your guiding principles, you will simply be invincible!

     

     

    5. Say No To Procrastination

    Say this with me, “Not today, procrastination, not today.” Then repeat this sentence everyday – life hack! 

    Okay in reality, one of the greatest enemies of prosperity is procrastination. It is like a cage that entraps any potential progress you make. In order to succeed, you must take action! Once you fail to make a move, there is no way you can get any result. 

    But then, procrastination ensures you never make any move or take any action. Unfortunately, most of us are not free from this cage. We always find ourselves postponing our tasks from time to time.

    However, in case you missed it, there is only a little distinction between procrastination and failure. That’s why saying no to procrastination is one of the keys to success in life.

    For instance, you might often be distracted by your mobile device, Netflix, social media, etc. These distractions are partly the reason you keep putting off important tasks. 

    The best way to deal with this bad habit is by disciplining yourself. The moment you embrace self-discipline, you’ll learn to shun all the stuff that distracts you during work hours. Before you know it, your level of productivity will increase.

     

     

    6. Improve Your Skills 

    In order for you to emerge one of the very best, you must be willing to put in your best. If you are good at something, you have to work even harder to improve – that is; if you really want to be successful.

    The keys to success in life are not far from your ability to stand out in whatever you do. Whether you’re a writer, artist, doctor, lawyer, or pharmacist. You can only be successful in your profession if you improve your mastery and aptitude.

    Here are some ideas on how to boost your skills: 

    • Buy and read relevant books.
    • Enroll in relevant professional courses.
    • Further your education.
    • Improve your credentials.
    • Get a job that is in line with your skill(s).

     

     

    7. Be Passionate

    Here is one statement of fact; the more passionate you are about success, the more possible it is for you to attain it. Having a passion for what you do will go a long way to propel you to the next level.

    For instance, when you are enthusiastic about your job, it will feel more like a hobby than a job. After all, you love the job, and hence, you will hardly get overworked. 

    In a nutshell, the end-product of passion is efficiency. Therefore, you have to embrace what you love with passion in order to succeed in it.

     

     

    8. Mingle With The Right Set Of People 

    A wise person once said, “Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are.”  What this implies is that your friends have a far-reaching effect on who you are. If you associate with negative people who are pessimistic about their future, there is no way you’ll be positive and optimistic!  

    Remember, the wrong company corrupts good character. Cliché, perhaps, but true, definitely. Always ensure you surround yourself with positive people who will drag you closer to prosperity.

     

     

    9. Stay Committed And Work Hard

    Commitment, that’s what it is. One can easily argue that hard work and commitment can take you to places where talent and skills can’t.

    If you plan to be successful, you’re determined to be disciplined till the end, and you’re passionate about your success, but you lack commitment – spoiler alert, you won’t make much headway. Your hard work matters a lot.

    Breaking a piece of rock with a hammer can take 999 blows without showing a single crack, but just one final blow (the 1000th) ends up shattering the rock. That doesn’t mean the 999 hits were useless. In fact, they were the most important hits because with “999 pieces of hard work”, it only takes just one more hit to shatter the rock. 

     

     

    10. Embrace Your Downfalls 

    There is a popular saying which insinuates that the failure of a man is not the end of his existence. One of the best definitions of success is that success is the final result of so many failures. It’s normal to embark on a path and experience lots of stumbling blocks. 

    Life is not only about getting knocked down, but about rising again to your feet. You have to embrace your downfalls, learn from them, and improve for the better. And that, people, is how you actually achieve success. 

     

     

    11. Practice Self-Investment 

    Another major key to success in life is to invest in yourself as much as you can. In fact, self-investment is the best form of investment anyone can make. Because, hello, you benefit from it directly.

    And truly, most successful people you see today invested a whole lot in themselves.

    Some realistic ways to invest in yourself are:

    • Read and expand your mental horizon. 
    • Do and learn something new every day.
    • Improve your skills and career growth.
    • Spend time and money on what you really need to live a good life.

     

     

    12. Believe In Yourself 

    You can’t get very far if you don’t believe in yourself. When you are engulfed in the shadow of self-doubt, you will be pessimistic and mostly doubt your abilities. 

    However, believing in yourself generates certain positive energy that can take you to places you never imagined. In essence, you’ll be practically unstoppable.

     

     

    Final Thoughts

    On a final note, these 12 keys to success in life will be useless without your intentional effort towards putting them to practice. You simply have to decide, be determined, be passionate, and above all, embrace self-discipline in order to achieve success.

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  • 9 Powerful Ways To Stop Thinking Negative Thoughts

    9 Powerful Ways To Stop Thinking Negative Thoughts

    Negative thoughts are simply negative – doesn’t get much deeper than that. But unfortunately, most of us don’t even know when we do it! Today I want to share some ideas on how you can catch yourself if you’re putting yourself down and some tips on how to stop thinking negative thoughts.


    Negative thoughts sometimes start when someone criticizes you or says something about you that you really don’t like. Other times we are our own worst critics.

    These thoughts might start as random thoughts or ideas which just flash across your mind…And then, they demoralize you, and start to pull you down. You become so sober and start feeling like you’re one of the worst. And for no good reason, you blame yourself for being you!

    Before you know it, you are so dispirited to the point that you no longer believe in yourself, your abilities, or capabilities. You doubt virtually all your potential moves – and seemingly have lots of good reasons as to why you shouldn’t take any action.

     

     

    Signs Of Negative Thoughts

    Just like a virus enters your body, multiplies, and eventually becomes harmful to your general wellbeing, that’s how negative thoughts get into your head, corrupt your mindset and attitude, and eventually generate lots of toxicity in your entire life.

    That’s why you must be conscious of your thoughts and how they affect your decisions and actions. Because once your actions are driven by those ill-fated, negative thoughts, there is no way you will live that fulfilled life you’ve always craved.

    A major sign that you are inclined to negativity is when you start asking yourself questions like:

    • Why am I not good enough?
    • Why does it feel like my world is the worst?
    • Why does it always happen to me?
    • Why does everyone hate me?
    • Why do I feel overwhelmed?

    Once these thoughts keep occupying your mental space, it’s best you deal with them as soon as possible so they don’t culminate into something devastating! 

    Not to exaggerate – but harboring negative thoughts will definitely have negative impacts on your mental, physical, social, and emotional wellbeing. In other words, your entire life will be negatively affected.

    Do you want to deal with those sad emotional twists? Perhaps you desire to be on top of your game, and in perfect control of your feelings? Do you absolutely wish to stop thinking negative thoughts? Well then, you’re right on track. 

    Here are 9 tips that will help you tackle negative thinking.

     

     

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    1. Be Aware Of Yourself! 

    If you want to stop thinking negative thoughts, you have to start practicing self-awareness… you have to be mindful and cautious of those ill thoughts.

    So, how do you go about it?

    Get a pen and a paper and find a cool spot where you can reflect without distractions. Ask yourself:

    • What exactly am I thinking?
    • What do I believe about myself? (Positive or negative beliefs?)
    • Are my thoughts in line with the beliefs I have about myself?

    These questions will help you realize your thoughts which are often embedded in what you believe about yourself.  If you believe (positively) in yourself and have an optimistic mindset, it will surely reflect in your thoughts and feelings. The same thing is applicable to when you doubt yourself or when you are pessimistic – your thoughts and emotions will be as negative as hell! 

    And once you allow those cynical thoughts to permeate into your mindset and attitude, that’s when you start feeling like you are trapped in a cage. If you really want to start recuperating from the damages that might have been done already, then start writing down the negative thoughts that often cross your mind.

    Do you always feel that you’re far from good enough? Or that your difficulties will not get better any time soon? Do you always assume the entire world is up against you?

    Just write down those feelings!

    You can only be aware of yourself and your level of negativity if you put them down on paper. This way, you can start taking further steps to deal with the unwanted situation.

    Related: 20 Deep Self-Reflection Questions To Ask Yourself

     

     

    2. Discover The Sources Of Your Negative Thinking 

    Another step in the right direction to stop thinking negative thoughts is to find out the sources of those gloomy thoughts. Now is the right time to ask; why am I feeling this way?

    Often, the negative feelings people experience are as a result of the fact that they are not comfortable with the way their life is going, yet, they are too pessimistic to work on themselves. 

    For instance, when you are dissatisfied with your financial status and you feel like you are too broke to make any difference, chances are you will not work hard and will continue being broke. At some point, you will stop believing in yourself and in your future… And thus, your negative thinking will always continue. 

    Another possible source of negative thoughts is your upbringing. The way you were raised can have a lasting effect on your mentality and mindset.

    If you were raised in an environment where you were constantly compared to other people, there is every tendency you’ll end up feeling “not good enough”.

    Now, for instance, if you grew up in a big family where your siblings all performed better than you in class – and they received accolades for that (while all you received was criticism), chances are, you will grow into an adult who feels like one of the dullest In the world.

    Also, if you were raised by parents who always blamed other people for their poverty, such a mentality can be transferred to you. Hence, you may grow into an adult who does not take responsibility for their actions – consequently, the poverty lineage just continues.

    That being said, it is high time you discovered the sources of your pessimistic thoughts. Because it’s only when you know their sources that you can start taking the necessary preventive measures.

     

     

    3. Start Letting Go Of Those Negative Thoughts 

    Once you’ve acknowledged your negative thoughts and their sources, the next thing is to start letting go of them.

    How do you do this?

    The truth is; it would have been far more complicated if you were still unclear about your negative thoughts and their sources. But now that you’re aware, stopping them is as simple as making certain assertions like;

    • I know this idea is negative and I won’t give it the chance to build up in me!
    • I am familiar with this belief that limits my progress, but this time around, I’m not giving in to it!
    • Oh! here is a negative emotion again… see, you have no power over me this time.

    By telling yourself stuff like this, you let go of those adverse feelings and regain total control of your mind. This way, it becomes easy for you to stop thinking negative thoughts.

     

     

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    4. Out Of Every Seemingly Negative Situation, Discover Something Good

    Most times, we are so submerged in negativities that we hardly look up to see the brighter side of any given situation. But the fact remains that if you must stop thinking negative thoughts, then you have to seek to discover something good out of any seemingly bad situation. 

    Remember, there is always going to be a light at the end of that tunnel. Because no incident is entirely bad. 

    Say, for instance, you had a bad day, or your plans didn’t work out, or maybe you made a crucial attempt and failed – you will easily feel downcast.  However, the ideal way to realize the good side of such negative situations is by asking yourself discerning questions:

    • Does this outcome profit me in any way I never imagined?
    • What lessons have I learned from this incident?
    • What can I do differently when next I’m presented with a similar opportunity to ensure a better outcome?

    Trust me, these questions will not only help you to discover the bright side of that painful situation, but they will also encourage you to grow from it!

    Related: Positive Thinking Tips: 15 Ways To Boost Positive Thinking

     

     

    5. Understand That People Don’t Really Care

    One reason you’re stuck in those negative thoughts is because you worry too much about what people will say about you 

    But here is a quick-relief; people don’t really care (about you, what you say, or what you do) because they have lots of other things to pay attention to! They don’t have so much energy to mind both their businesses and yours, believe it or not.

    I mean, how can a human being with a job, family, kids, and perhaps other responsibilities have the time to dissect your every move? Nope, they’re hardly always paying attention. 

    Sure, there might be a few people like that, but firstly, they need to get a life. And secondly, they should be considered irrelevant – because most people are busier than that!

    So before you let yourself sink in negative thoughts, remind yourself that people are too busy to be focusing on your every move.

    With this reminder, you shouldn’t be restrained by those pessimistic feelings (about what people will think about you), rather, you should be more willing to take bigger steps towards the things that really matter to you.

    Related: How To Stop Worrying What Others Think And Live Your Own Life

     

     

    6. Learn To Question Those Negative Thoughts 

    If you really want to stop thinking negative thoughts, here’s a trick;  start questioning those pessimistic ideas.

    For instance, after a terrible day at work and on arriving home, you feel so weary and saddened,  there is a higher tendency that certain negative thoughts will start creeping into your mind. Consequently, you might forget all your previous wins and start focusing more on the little mistake you made JUST that day…

    At this point, you have to be bold enough to question those negative thoughts. Ask yourself; should I allow this thought to dwell inside my head? Should I really take this idea seriously? Guess what? Your answer will almost always be No. Nope. Nah.

    These sorts of questions will enable you to realize that your life is not defined by one single mistake, rather, it is defined by all other things you’ve always done right!

    Related: How To Remove Negativity From Your Life And Be Happier

     

     

    7. Let It Out  

    By bottling up those negative thoughts, you’re not helping yourself. They will continue to weigh you down until everything about you becomes toxic.

    You have to let it out. Discuss it with someone close to you. You will feel so relieved afterwards. I always agree with that popular slogan that says; a problem shared is a problem half-solved. However, you have to be mindful of who you share your thoughts with so they don’t use it against you in the future. 

    If you don’t have anyone you can trust with your little, dirty secrets, then seek professional counselling. Letting out those negative thoughts will enable you to communicate with someone else who might be highly instrumental in helping you find a realistic solution.

    Remember, two heads are better than one. Well, not two heads on the same body…but, you get it.

     

     

    8. Live In The Moment 

    Whenever you are having negative thoughts, two things are certainly involved;

    It’s either you are worried about what is yet to happen…

    Or you are still worried about what has happened already!

    However, here is a mind-blowing fact: you have little or no direct influence over the future or the past. What you can control is what happens now. In other words, what matters most in your life is what you do today.

    When you do the right thing today, you will not repeat your past mistakes, and at the same time, you are building a brighter future. The reality is; you will basically stop thinking negative thoughts if you start focusing on the present – not the future, nor the past.

     

     

    9. Practice Gratitude

    You have to show gratitude for the little things you have. Appreciate your little successes and achievements!

    Whenever negativity creeps in and is increasingly gaining ground in your mind, always remember the things you are grateful to have in your life. Think about the square meals you can easily afford, the clean water you have access to, your good friends and family, the roof over your head, and many other simple (but important) things you easily ignore.

    Related: 50 Gratitude Journal Prompts To Help You Live Your Dream Life

     

     

    Final Thoughts

    Finally, it’s not enough to just learn how to stop thinking negative thoughts. The most important thing is to practice what you’ve learned! At times, it might get quite difficult to observe these stringent measures, but with intentional efforts, they’re doable. 

    And yes, the end result is absolutely worth the stress.

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