BlastAloud

Tag: self love

  • 10 Things You Need To Stop Doing In The Morning

    10 Things You Need To Stop Doing In The Morning

    While there are certain things that are good to include in your morning routine, there are also some things that are better left out. Today I want to share some things you should stop doing in the morning so you can have a better and more productive day.

    Okay so yesterday you got back home tired after having a really hectic day. You were so exhausted that you barely had your shower before crashing into your bed. 

    Shortly after you closed your eyes and started to enjoy your sleep, your alarm rang loudly. It’s morning already! Arrrgh! You can’t wake up just yet, you need to sleep a little more — and you proceed to slam the snooze button angrily while wriggling under the covers. 

    By the time your alarm rings again, it’s past 6 AM. You manage to get out of bed but don’t feel better — in fact, you are just as exhausted and as sleepy as you were the previous night!

    Does this sound familiar?

    A Productive Day Starts In The Morning

    Having a productive day starts with how you wake up each morning. And to perfectly understand this, you should be asking; what does my morning routine look like? What kind of emotion or mood am I in when I wake up from sleep? Are my morning hours dull or lively? What does my breakfast look like? Am I a fan of junk or a balanced diet? These are a few of the questions you should be asking yourself if you are finding it difficult to make your mornings count.

    Most times, we are the ones who complicate things for ourselves; we make our mornings overwhelming due to certain ill habits we have adopted. Over time, such habits become a drag on our lives as our productivity level keeps dropping.

    Things You Should Stop Doing In The Morning

    Now, before you wonder how poor morning routines result in low productivity, remember that if you wake up in a dull mood, you will lack the motivation to carry out your daily tasks effectively. And when your daily goals are not met, there is no way your weekly goals will be met. And so it cycles into months and years of low productivity!

    Now, for the main gist; here are 10 things you need to stop doing in the morning if you want to be more productive.

    Please not that this post contains affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Please read my Affiliate Disclaimer for more info.

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    1. Hitting The Snooze Button

    There is this popular saying I recommend you ponder on; “you snooze you lose”. 

    To be frank, hitting the snooze button feels great, especially in those early hours when sleep is just getting more interesting! Some of us wouldn’t mind hitting the snooze button 5 times (we are actually many on this table). But then, who is at the losing end? 

    You might feel like you are giving your body a few more minutes of sleep to wake up stronger. On the contrary, you are just destabilizing your whole body wake-up mechanism, thereby causing yourself to feel more worn out by the time you are eventually up.

    How do you deal with this problem? It’s simple; rise from that bed once your alarm beeps! 

    Okay, I lied, it’s not simple. One reliable method that will make the wake-up process a lot easier for you is Mel Robin’s 5-Second Rule. All you have to do is count (each second) backward from 5 to 1 then jump up from your bed! It’s as easy as that.

    Sure, getting up from your cozy, comfortable bed might feel like a hard task to accomplish. The trick is; don’t EVER give yourself the leverage to choose between snoozing and getting up. You will most likely prefer the former. Don’t think twice about it, just get up spontaneously! 

    Using the 5-second rule and jumping up on 5 counts will give your body that first alertness that you need to carry on for the rest of the day. 

    2. Logging Into Social Media

    Believe it or not, we live in a world where social media plays a huge role in our existence. 

    Most of us are guilty of constantly checking our phones for new notifications. And a larger percentage of us will prefer to check our Facebook or WhatsApp inbox (once we wake up) to reply to all the messages we couldn’t respond to before we slept off the previous night.

    Well, I’m not saying that it is wrong to use social media but doing that first thing in the morning is a no-no as long as productivity is concerned. You don’t need to be distracted by your newsfeed that early. 

    Rather, morning hours are the best time to pay attention to your morning, your life, and how you can align your life with your goals!

    You shouldn’t allow Instagram posts or ridiculous tweets to sabotage your good vibe and energy early in the morning. And guess what? You can still go on social media by lunchtime as that newsfeed will still be there waiting for you. 

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    3. A Cup Of Coffee Ritual

    It’s pretty common for some of us to gulp down a cup of coffee once we leave our beds. It’s almost like a cultural ritual as 7 out of every 10 adults are guilty of this. Some drink it because others are drinking it while others believe that a cup of coffee will energize the body…

    Now, here is the shocker; drinking coffee first thing in the morning is absolutely wrong. Why?

    Recall that the average duration of sleep is 8 hours, right? If that is the case, then it implies that your body has gone over 8 hours without water, hence, by morning, your hydration level is already low. You need water to rehydrate yourself, not coffee!

     If you must take coffee or any other caffeinated substances in the morning, your body must be hydrated first. Otherwise, the caffeine will become too concentrated in your body and will end up becoming a toxin.

    Does that come as a surprise to you? Well, now you know the right thing to do. Drinking 2 or 3 glasses of water once you wake up will go a long way to boost your rate of metabolism all day long.

    READ NOW: How To Stop Being Lazy And Unmotivated And Become Productive Instead

    4. Checking Your Work Emails

    Work work work! Some of us are so work-centered that we barely remember ourselves, our bodies, our lives, or our mental and physical strength.

    Are you one of those workaholics in town? I mean the type that stay late at work only to get home and continue from where they stopped? If so, it may be time to hold up for a bit.

    Your career is very important, no doubt, but life is not all about work. There is much more to your existence than your job. You don’t have to wake up in the morning and rush into attending to your emails – that’s a major distraction. After all, they can always wait in your inbox until your actual work hours start. No matter how important it is, it will still be there for you by 8 AM or whatever time you choose to start your work day (if you own a business or freelance). 

    Use your early morning hours for self-care, reflection, and meditation. These are very vital for your body and mind.

    ALSO READ: 12 Powerful Keys To Success In Life Only Smart People Know

    5. Eating Junk

    This is another place many of us are getting it wrong – eating junk for breakfast.

    The quality and timing of your breakfast say a whole lot about how your day will pan out. No matter your health status, size, weight, age, gender, or race, your breakfast shouldn’t exceed 8 AM. Ensure the diet is balanced, and drink enough water.

    Having breakfast like; sweetened beverages, chocolate, croissants, cake and other confections will only make you hungry and sleepy a few hours later! You can’t rely on such if you want to be energetic at least till lunch.

    6. Not Washing Your Face 

    There is this refreshing feeling that comes with sprinkling cold water on your face as soon as you’re awake. While some normally wash their faces first thing in the morning, others don’t even consider it.

    The difference between those who wash their face and those who don’t is that the latter struggle to stay awake even after waking up! 

    Washing your face helps bring back your consciousness, brightens your mood, stabilizes your emotions, clears your eyes, and sets your day in the right direction.

    If that has never been part of your morning routine, then try it out tomorrow. You’ll surely feel the difference.

    7. Watching TV 

    Are you in the habit of watching TV in the morning? You might be wondering why it’s on this list… but yes, it’s improper. 

    Many of us watch TV so we can get the latest updates on the happenings around the world. But doing it so early in the morning isn’t very productive. There are more important things you should be doing at that time to impact your life positively. 

    Besides, the news is mostly filled with negative stories from all over the world. Such stories will only stimulate and heighten your stress levels and as a result, your mood will be negatively affected all day.

    Instead of switching on your TV, it’s better to relax for as long as you want. This will give you the room to meditate and reflect on your life before starting your day. Plus you will avoid unnecessary distractions.

    8. Making “Unplanned” Decisions

    The most common error we commit in our everyday life is “when” and “how” we make our decisions. We often fail to plan before we decide.

    You shouldn’t just wake up in the morning and make hasty, impromptu decisions that will govern your entire day. Making such spontaneous decisions will keep you in a disoriented position because you are more or less forcing yourself to analyze the whole day within a few seconds. Trust me, this can cause severe mental stress.

    Besides stress, making unplanned decisions will most likely bring about poor results – and I’m sure you don’t want that. So, learn to decide ahead of time. If possible, the night before. Early mornings shouldn’t be a time to make hasty decisions. Rather, it should be a period to put your body and mind in the right frame to execute the decisions you already made.

    Waiting till morning before deciding is like doing the right thing at the wrong time. In other words, you are taking one step forward and two steps backward. That’s a perfect way to be a victim of your (own) circumstances.

    READ NOW: 9 Powerful Ways To Stop Thinking Negative Thoughts

    9. Not Letting The Sun Rays In

    Nature has a way of caressing us at the right spot once we tap into it — the excitement that follows is surreal!

    One way to tap into the wonders of nature is by allowing the early morning sun rays into your room. Keeping your windows or curtains closed after waking up is like denying yourself an extraordinary natural feeling that makes your day bright and beautiful.

    Preparing for work, or having your early morning routine inside a dark and stuffy room will send a dull, groggy signal to your body which will psychologically affect you all day.

    On the other hand, letting the sun into your room in the morning is an amazing way to wake your body and mind up. The rays of sunshine penetrating your window (and your skin) send waves of alertness to your eyes, body, and your entire system. 

    10. Not Making Your Bed

    We are often too quick to focus on big tasks as we feel our daily productivity lies in completing difficult responsibilities. But that’s wrong. Your productivity starts with those little things you ignore to do in the morning — such as making your bed. 

    There is this sense of organization that comes with making your bed and putting your room in order. 

    A well-organized room (before starting your day) gives you the feeling that you can equally organize your work. You subconsciously feel in control of your life.

    ALSO READ: 50 Gratitude Journal Prompts To Help You Live Your Dream Life

    Final Thoughts

    Now before you go, remember, the points above are only but a few things you might have been doing wrong in the morning that limit your productivity level. There are many other habits you should avoid in the morning, like watching Netflix, taking too long, warm baths, worrying over your outfit selection, and so on.

    Stop paying attention to trivialities and start focusing on yourself and your life.

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  • 10 Useful Things To Do On Days When You Just Want To Give Up

    10 Useful Things To Do On Days When You Just Want To Give Up

    Life is a bunch of emotions. Sometimes, you feel like you are on top of the world; you feel on top of every situation and everything is panning out easily… but then on other days, everything is going downhill! There are days when nothing goes as planned and you just want to give up.

    It might get so bad that you feel like you have no choice but to give up on yourself, your relationship, your dreams, goals, and ambitions, or even your entire life.

    Are you in one of those difficult moments in life when you are just about giving up on everything and everyone? Are you wondering why your life seems different from everyone else’s? Be calm. Because it’s not about you and your life. It’s about the nature of this world. Life is not a bed of beautiful roses (even though there are no ugly roses).

    Just like there are sunny days, there are always going to be rainy days. But remember, if there was nothing like heavy rain, there wouldn’t be anything like a beautiful rainbow. In other words, there are always two sides to life: pain and pleasure. 

    Life will certainly throw all sorts of things at you. Some might make you happy, others will make you completely worn out. But the most important thing is your reaction to such situations – the steps you finally choose to take during those moments when you just want to give up. Those are key moments when a lot of things about your life will be determined.

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    What To Do When You Want To Give Up

    With that said, we could all use a little help with going through such tough times. Here are 10 things you should do when you want to give up and life just seems hopeless.  

    1. Determine Why You Want to Give Up 

    Before you can ever find a solution to a problem, the first step to take is to find out the cause. Before prescribing a cure, you have to diagnose first! This approach is pretty reliable both in medicine and in every other sphere of life.

    When you are contemplating quitting, the first thing you should ask yourself is, “Why am I giving up so easily?” It’s after you find out “why” that you’ll understand “how” to tackle the problem.

    There are many possible reasons we tend to give up on our missions, ambitions or even people. But those reasons are usually centered on one thing; discomfort. We mainly give up once the pain, distress, or suffering becomes seemingly unbearable. It’s understandable though — because we humans are naturally wired to crave comfort. 

    Nobody sees pleasure and prefers pain! We all want to be in a place where we feel comfortable. But unfortunately, that’s far from what life offers us. While we savor pleasure, we can’t escape the traces of pain that come with it. 

    Once you know the central reason you are giving up so easily, you have to toughen up and face the world squarely.

    What To Do When You Just Want To Give Up

    2. Remember The Reason You Started And Where You Are Headed

    A young man once narrated what motivates him. In his words:

    “I’m a self-employed who is struggling to take his career to the next level. At times, I chase a deal for months but to no avail. Sometimes, I spend many weeks without a single income. Other times, life hit me so hard that I just want to give up. But one thing that keeps me going is whenever I remember where I’m coming from and where I’m headed… Whenever I remember how much my mom, dad, and siblings count on me, I just can’t stop.”

    This story exemplifies the power of knowing where you are coming from and where you are going. That’s exactly what you should think of on days you just want to give up.

    ALSO READ: How To Stop Wasting Time And Become Productive

    3. Remember It Usually Gets Worse Before It Gets Better

    Life is a mystery. Sometimes it works in ways you don’t really understand. Life is also about balance. You can tell because there are always two ways to everything; whenever you think of darkness, there is light. Whenever you think of nights, there are days. And when you feel so cold, you expect warmth.

    When you feel like giving up, always remember that it is usually darkest before dawn. Remember, life is neither all about sadness nor happiness. So, you can be assured that your good day is just around the corner — even in your darkest moments. 

    While you keep striving, also retrace your steps, try out new things, adopt a different approach. Push on. 

    READ NOW: 9 Powerful Ways To Stop Thinking Negative Thoughts

    4. Be Realistic With Your Expectations 

    Life is tough already. But then don’t make it tougher by holding on to unrealistic expectations.

    One of the greatest things that aggravate the pressure we’re already in is our expectations. I mean; why wouldn’t you be under pressure when you often listen to people that claim perfection? Why wouldn’t the pressure be too much on you when you only patronize ideas that promise quick results? Why wouldn’t you find it difficult to cope when you only hang out with people who give no room for mistakes?

    You see, things will be easier if you become more realistic with what you seek and the result you expect. Only listen to people who have been through your present situation; people who are familiar with your reality.

    Pay attention to people who understand that it is okay to fail, then rise again. Listen to those who understand that the journey will be long and tough at times. With such people around you, your expectations will be more realistic and you’ll stop being unnecessarily hard on yourself.

    5. Take It One Step At A Time 

    Another reason you probably feel like giving up is because you are overwhelmed by all sorts of ideas regarding how to make things better. When you keep getting lots of possible solutions into your head, they become difficult to apply, and consequently, you end up being frustrated.

    If you are in this kind of situation, the best solution is to take it one step at a time. Trying too many things at a time will only get you worked up and confused. Hence, in whatever you do, endeavor to simplify. 

    Concentrate on the basic aspects of life that matter most. For instance, instead of beating yourself up that you are not doing enough to satisfy your partner the way they want, you can simply concentrate on loving them genuinely. Because the basis of every relationship is love.

    ALSO READ: How To Be Happy In Life Despite Your Circumstances

    6. Practice Gratitude 

    On those days when you just want to give up, look back to — let’s say, five years ago — and remember how far you’ve come. Be grateful for the little success you’ve attained. Trust me, not everyone has been so fortunate. So be thankful and appreciate yourself a little more.

    Think about all the rivers you’ve crossed (okay maybe not literally), all you’ve achieved, and all you’ve learned over the years. Is it worth throwing all those things away by giving up? 

    RELATED READ: 50 Gratitude Journal Prompts To Help You Live Your Dream Life

    7. Be Inspired; Be Motivated 

    This is a little trick that works wonders. 

    Motivation – it’s everywhere. It’s up to you to select your source.

    For instance, your motivation could be the birds of the air that have no one to depend on, yet they survive. Your motivation could be the deep blue oceans with neither beginning nor end, yet they have direction. 

    You can also be inspired by someone else’s story. You can access such stories by reading motivational books, watching motivational videos, listening to related podcasts, and so on. Using motivational reminders can go a long way to keep your passion and drive alive. And of course, that’s exactly what you need whenever life seems tricky.

    8. Seek Support 

    Yes, it’s okay to seek help! Don’t feel uncomfortable to seek support when the burden seems too overwhelming. Don’t disconnect yourself from others or conceal your feelings of frustration. Remember, a problem shared, they say, is a problem half-solved. 

    Reach out to your friends,  family, colleagues, co-workers, or any other person you can confidently talk to so you can ease yourself a bit and clear your mind from what is pulling you down. You never know, they might even end up giving you the inspiration you need to get back up.

    9. Take A Break

    Okay so recently, your life has been chaotic. You are as confused as confusion itself! And now, you are thinking of quitting entirely. Well, before you proceed, let me ask; have you considered taking a break — let’s say for a few weeks or a couple of months — then get back and try again?

    Often, the reason you feel like giving up is because you worked so hard to the extent that you forgot to take a break. Self-care should be made a fundamental part of your life because fatigue is very real. 

    That little time you couldn’t give yourself for rest could end up costing you days or weeks (of work) in the hospital. 

    ALSO READ: 10 Valuable Things You Will Regret Not Doing Sooner

    10. Think About The Consequences Of Quitting

    Finally, before you give up, think about the consequences of quitting! Many superstars you know today failed many times, but they never gave up. They kept pressing!

    Before you quit, remember Walt Disney who was fired by a magazine firm because he allegedly “lacked imagination and had no good ideas”. If he had given up on his dreams, he wouldn’t have become the founder of the famous Disney business.

    Before you quit, think about the possible bright future you are also throwing away. The aftermath of quitting is a failed dream.

    Do you still want to give up? 

    Quitting should never be an option as long as you know where you are coming from and where you’re going.

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    What To Do When You Just Want To Give Up
  • 10 Tips To Be A Better Listener And Build Stronger Relationships

    10 Tips To Be A Better Listener And Build Stronger Relationships

    Communication is a two-way thing; speaking and listening. But often, people tend to incline towards speaking more than listening. Today I want to share some tips with you on how you can be a better listener.

    Nobody wants to listen. Everybody wants to speak.

    Do you remember having a conversation with your boss, and you were always thinking about what next to say? At that point, not all your attention was on what your boss was saying — even though you were listening. Or perhaps you were having an argument with your partner without really understanding their point because you were already coming up with your retort.

    This is because half of your brain was processing his messages in bits and fractions, while the other half was busy readying a response. And as a result, you ended up not understanding exactly what the other person was telling you. 

    It’s simple; you were more concerned with your response than your boss’s message.

    But then, it’s not entirely your fault. After all, we all naturally prefer to be heard — even when it means not hearing others. That is why today, there are very few who can communicate effectively. 

    Why Become A Better Listener?

    Unfortunately, poor communication can single-handedly cost you a lot in life. Many people fail important interviews because they don’t listen before they speak. Also, ineffective communication can result in a meltdown in an organization as all involved parties fail to deliver or process  received messages. As a result, there’ll be poor teamwork, misunderstandings and conflict.

    So, the point is; if you aim to communicate more effectively, then you have to prioritize listening. But not to worry, carefully compiled here are 10 tips that will help you be a better listener. Let’s get right into it!

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    How To Become Better At Listening

    1. Do Not Try To Give The Best Response

    The reason many people fail to communicate effectively is that they focus more on giving the best possible response than receiving the message effectively. In a bid to give the best reply, we divide our mental faculty into two; one listening subconsciously, the other preparing for a response. Not very wise I tell you. 

    The moment you listen subconsciously while trying to figure out a good response, you will most likely get lost in thoughts. That’s why you often appear absent-minded during conversations.

    How can you deal with this?

    During conversations, remind yourself to avoid drafting any response in your mind. This might seem difficult at first because it’s always easy to drift into thinking mode… But over time, you’ll certainly get used to worrying less about your responses.

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    2. Stay Quiet When Necessary

    “Silence…”, they say, “… is golden”.

    One of the best ways to be a better listener is by remaining silent when the other person is speaking! No wonder Epictetus said; “Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak.”

    The truth is, many of us can’t process a message quickly. That is why after someone stops talking, you tend to find that you don’t have an immediate response. In such situations, even if the silence feels awkward, don’t panic and hurry into a response. You might end up sounding stupid.

    Instead, take a chill pill and pause for a second, while you recollect and process every piece of information you received (of course, not an exaggeratedly long time that will make the other person think you’ve zoned out!). This will enable you to compile your thoughts and draft a meaningful response. 

    Fortunately, you won’t require so much time to come up with a reply. Just a few seconds of silence will go a long way to solve the puzzle and nobody will notice it. 

    3. Listen For The Sake Of Learning 

    Another good way to be a better listener is by listening to learn! When listening to your favorite teacher who teaches your favorite subject (sounds too good to be true huh), there is no way you won’t understand whatever he says. The reason is that you listened to learn — because you are interested in the subject.

    Now, you can do the same when having normal conversations with your friends, co-workers, or even your boss. Listen as if you are learning from them. Sure, you might not literally learn a lesson from every conversation you hold with someone, but at least, when you listen to learn, you’ll certainly understand the direction of the conversation.

    Here is a trick that will help you to listen and learn:

    Tell yourself; “I will tell someone else everything about this discussion later on”. This idea will force you to naturally be alert and attentive while the conversation is underway. You will be forced to ask more questions and as a result, you’ll remember all the vital points.

    4. Maintain Eye Contact 

    Eye contact, eye contact, eye contact, eye contact… Okay, I’ll stop repeating this now. Maintaining steady (or at least moderate) eye contact during a conversation can perform some real magic! There is a positive energy that comes with looking at the face of the person you’re discussing with as it draws your full attention to the discussion.

    On the other hand, looking around and avoiding regular eye contact will make it seem like you are not listening. That’s often why people ask, “Are you listening to what I’m saying?” If you are not used to regular eye contact, it might take you a long while to master the art. But then, keep practicing. 

    5. Don’t Be Forced To Speak Because Of A Pause

    This remains a major challenge as long as effective communication is concerned. Most people are quite uncomfortable whenever there seems to be silence during a conversation.

    You shouldn’t perceive any single pause as an opportunity to start talking again. Just so you know, in group meetings, people normally wait for silence before they can spring into action and make some point. 

    Besides, everyone needs a few seconds to prepare their point, so it’s normal to have a few pauses during conversations… And you must learn to leave those pauses alone. Talk only when you want to make a point, not because the other person is silent and you are uncomfortable with it. 

    In this line of thought, Plato asserted; “Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something”.    

    6. Put Away That Phone 

    This is where most of us are found wanting. Most times, we are carried away by our smartphones that we hardly concentrate well during important conversations.

    Surfing the internet with your mobile phone while trying to listen to someone usually results in missing some part of the discussion. Moreover, the person (who is speaking) will be disappointed — because it appears you are not listening to them.

    Therefore, if you can, just put down the phone while listening, unless you want to type out something regarding the conversation.

    7. Ask Questions When Necessary — Don’t Try To Mind-Read

    Another important way to be a better listener is by asking questions if you have to. Don’t be tempted to mind-read the other person because it is quite difficult (if not impossible) to read minds! 

    You’ll agree that many of us have tried to read minds on many occasions. In fact, many conversations are initiated from mind reading. To deal with this, whenever you feel the impulse to make assumptions, just pause. If possible, caution yourself inwardly. Learn to be more curious. Be free to ask questions.

    8. Always Summarize

    Although it is okay to pay attention to detail — if you must be a good listener — you have to pay attention to the summary as well. Especially if the speaker has a lot to say. Taking a few seconds to summarize what someone has said makes it a lot easier to understand the full statement.

    9. Acknowledge The Words Of The Other Person

    As I said earlier, communication is a two-way thing; to speak and to listen. 

    To ensure that effective communication is taking place, you not only listen but also have to acknowledge the words of the speaker. Doing this gives the speaker an impression that you are actually listening to them.

    Acknowledging other people’s words might be in the form of replying “hmm”, “uhmm”, “yes”, “wow”, etc. It makes every speaker feel heard, respected, and appreciated. Of course, don’t exaggerate this. If you keep repeating “hmm, wow” to every single thing said, it will become obvious you’re “mindlessly listening”.

    10. Suggest What You Did In A Similar Situation

    If done correctly (especially when asked for advice), sharing what worked for you in a similar situation is another way to prove that you truly understood the other person. It also builds a kind of connection and synergy between the two of you while the conversation is going on.

    However, you should avoid intruding on the other person (with your experience) while they are still speaking or trying to make a point – that’s a bad listening habit.

    Related Reads:

    Final Thoughts

    In conclusion, always remember that, first, communication is not all about speaking but also about listening. Second, you are not in any form of competition with anybody to make a better point. So, speak only when necessary!

    Please pin these tips to be a better listener!

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  • 8 Tips On How To Remove Toxic People In Your Life

    8 Tips On How To Remove Toxic People In Your Life

    In life, we meet different kinds of people — the good, the bad, and the ugly (and definitely the ugly-disguised-as-good too). But life is too short to have draining and toxic people sucking up all your energy. So today I want to share some tips on how to remove toxic people in your life.

    Though ordinarily, we would prefer to cross paths with only those who bring smiles to our faces, the reality is; both the bad and ugly fellas who bring discomfort to our lives play a part in molding us into who we are — if not for anything, their criticisms make us stronger than ever.

    Life can never be complete if you only have one caliber of people in it. We need an element of goodness, badness, and ugliness to strike the required balance.

    Having a few bad people around you isn’t the main issue here. The major problem is knowing how to manage them and keep them in their places, especially since some people may not be so easy to get rid of. For instance, if the bad person is your mom, it’s not as simple as writing her off your life for good.

    However, nowadays, many people have more bad and ugly people to deal with than they ever had good ones. This in turn makes life simply miserable for them. In that case, it’s important to detoxify your life by eliminating such people from it. And of course, that’s what we’ll be dissecting in this article!

     

     

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    But then, who is a toxic person?

    Let’s not get this all wrong. The truth is, a lot of people use the word “toxic” where it is far from necessary.

    Some people are simply annoying and difficult to deal with.

    You can’t call such people toxic. And you are not meant to handle a difficult person the same way you deal with a toxic person.

    Say, for instance, you have a friend who;

    • Takes over and monopolizes
    • Always is the center of attention
    • Won’t return your phone calls, e-mails, texts, etc.
    • Won’t get committed to anything
    • Isn’t accountable and doesn’t take responsibility
    • Tells some “white lies”
    • Tends to say what you like to hear — not necessarily the truth

    Such a friend is actually a difficult and annoying person to deal with. Once you understand them better, you can still compromise and have a relationship with them. However, if a difficult person is not kept in their place, such difficulty could intensify into toxicity.

    On the other hand, if you are mixed up with a really toxic person, you’ll notice that they are;

    • Manipulative
    • Abusive
    • Easily angered
    • Bully you with unnecessary jokes and demeaning remarks
    • Negative
    • Always in crises and often play the victim
    • Always Right — never buy other people’s views
    • Habitual liars
    • Trouble makers – relish seeing others tremble in fear
    • Enjoy seeing others in difficulty
    • Envious
    • Often with ulterior motives
    • Twist your words and give them a negative meaning
    • Without boundaries
    • Always leaving you feeling drained

    Now, there is no doubt a toxic person is far deadlier than just a difficult person as they tend to halt your progress and stall your general growth. So, the urgency in eliminating them from your life is… pretty high. 

    The magic question now is, how do you remove toxic people in your life?

     

     

    How To Remove Toxic People In Your Life

    Getting rid of toxic people can hit back at you if you don’t go about it the right way — just like surgery can either cure a patient or complicate issues if not well done.

    On that note, here are 8 realistic tips on how to remove toxic people in your life:

     

     

    1. Identify Toxicity And It’s Side Effects

    In order to cure a disease, you first have to diagnose it. To eliminate toxic people, you must first identify their traits and understand the dangers of keeping them around!

    It might be difficult for a toxic person to completely undermine your efforts towards self-improvement. But then, what if they do? The best-case scenario is; they will stall your progress. And I’m sure you don’t want to keep someone hell-bent on bringing you down. 

    A toxic fella can make you second-guess yourself on vital decisions. They make you feel sad, uncomfortable, and even ashamed about your improvement. Like, what the heck man?

    Another severe danger attached to toxicity is that it is highly infectious! You might just end up adopting the same toxic qualities you despise in others — because toxic people have a unique way of making you toxic yourself. That’s how it works. It’s pretty common to see such incidents. And often, it happens without you realizing it.

    For instance, have you ever worked under a toxic boss? They bully, intimidate, hate, and manipulate you until you start building a hard shell as a defense mechanism. Before you know it, you’re already becoming irritable to your junior colleagues — just like your boss! Consequently, the toxicity continues to spread within the organization. 

    Understanding how dangerously infectious such people can be will move you into taking the necessary measures to limit their influence in your life.

     

     

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    2. Bear In Mind That It Can Take Some Time

    Another thing you should understand is that removing toxic people in your life is one hell of a job — it takes time! You have to be rational enough to take it gradually. Toxic people are pretty resilient and will always be on your neck. Even when you try to shut them out, they tend to come back.

    So, you have to bear in mind that it’s a gradual process and will probably take a while. However, you must maintain your resistance.

     

     

    3. Get Clear With Them On Your Boundaries 

    Don’t mince words with such lethal people. Be plain, clear, and precise with them about your likes and dislikes. Get them to know their limits in the most understandable way. Let your intentions be known, and make sure your words are not misconstrued.

    As part of your boundaries, avoid keeping quiet when you sense toxic behavior. Quietness often gives them the idea that you’ve conceded. This motivates them to keep going. If you agree with them partly, simply explain to them the extent to which you agree with them. Like; “I agree with you on…, but I totally disagree with you on the rest.”

    Also, don’t just set the boundaries, you also have to stick to them as firmly as possible. Failing to do so will mean you having those toxic people sneak back into your life!

    If you’ve already decided not to return their texts, you don’t have to be tempted to text them back just to fulfil all righteousness. If you’ve already blocked them on Instagram, please don’t be tempted to unblock. 

    Setting a boundary for toxic people is good, but maintaining that boundary is far more important.

     

     

    4. Remember, You Owe Them No Explanation

    To be honest; you actually don’t owe negative people any explanation as to what you’ve decided or the boundaries you’ve set.

    Sure, it’s okay to make yourself well understood. But then any further explanation you’re giving them is likely giving them more grounds to counter you. So, say what you must say, and keep your cool thereafter.

    Be kind enough to let them know that both of you have gotten to the end of the road in the relationship and it’s time to call it a day. Preferably, just keep it as simple as ABC; tell them you no longer need them in your life. There is no need to give them room for further debate! Ain’t nobody got time for that.

     

     

    5. Be Nice, But Then Don’t Overdo It

    It has never been recorded that being good is evil. We often hear people telling sad tales on how they regret being kind to a bad person. But the truth is; nobody regrets being kind. You only regret kindness when you weren’t kind in the first place. You only feel remorse for kindness when you faked it or when it didn’t come from the real you. Genuine kindness shouldn’t hurt no matter the final outcome.

    That being said, you can easily extend your kindness to toxic people. Be compassionate at times and give them the benefit of doubt. Listen to them if they have any complaints —  know if there is any way you can help. Just because they complain always doesn’t mean they don’t have real burdens or difficulties. Perhaps complaining is the only way they can express themselves. It’s also possible they feel like no one is listening, so they keep complaining and hoping that one day someone might finally understand them.

    Sure, due to their toxicity, they may accuse you no matter how nice you are to them. But remember, the kindness is just you being yourself. First, you’ll feel good when you are real. Secondly, you’ll appreciate yourself more if you don’t stoop to their level and join their negativity. 

    Always bear in mind that even when you are kind, such negative people will refer to you as unkind. It is part of their ploys to frustrate you and get you off balance. Disregard such weak tactics of theirs and keep being yourself!

    Nonetheless, you should also be sensible enough to know when to step away. Being kind doesn’t mean you should go around drinking with toxic people. Exposing yourself unnecessarily makes you quite vulnerable.

     

     

    6. Minimize Having Conversations With Them

    If you must, mind the kind of topics you discuss with them. This is very important. 

    One of the best ways to remove toxic people in your life — or at least limit the threat they pose — is by reducing the rate at which you hold conversations with them. The more you talk to toxic people, the more likely you are to get hurt. 

    If you must discuss with such people, let it be fact-based communication. Ensure the topic is purely relatable to everyone, as in, common (objective) knowledge.

    Avoid involving yourself with them in topics that have to do with sentiments, subjectivism or personal perceptions. No need discussing topics related to politics, religion, culture, ethnicity, race, even sports! Simply put, if you get yourself involved in such, it’s definitely going to be a disaster. It won’t end well.

    There are instances where people got seriously hurt (emotionally) because they weren’t smart enough to be careful with the topics they discussed with this type of people. On some occasions, it went as far as resulting in physical abuse. So, trust me on this; you have to tread cautiously.

     

     

    7. Know Your Weaknesses And Accept Them

    There is a popular saying that goes; you don’t fall down when you’re already on the ground! Dealing with toxicity is not child’s play. It can get to the extent that such a poisonous person might discover your weakness and perpetually use it against you.

    To reduce their ability to act on your flaws, you must know and accept your weaknesses. Here is the trick; once they discover you’ve already acknowledged what you suck at, they are less likely to use it against you as it won’t cause much damage. 

    Most negative people are not just comfortable if their hard-devised ploy to infuriate you fails to work on you. So they won’t mock you with the weaknesses you already owned up to. With that, they may just get bored and give up — at least for a while.

    But then, you don’t just stop at owning up to your weaknesses. You have to work on yourself and get better at those things that make you flop. Dedicate your time and energy to self-improvement as it will help boost your confidence against toxic people.

     

     

    8. Keep A Safe Distance And Surround Yourself With Positive People

    Finally, ensure you keep a safe distance from toxic people. Stop calling and texting them if possible. Block them on social media if it becomes a means to reduce the distance. 

    Avoid mingling with people who are likely to draw you closer to any form of toxicity. Rather, surround yourself with positive people. Staying closer to positive people will prevent you from having mixed feelings when you finally let go of toxic people.

    Besides, positive people make you feel safe, cherished and happy. And that’s exactly what you need.

    To conclude, always remember that you own your life, and your happiness is your responsibility. If all it takes to make you happy is to remove toxic people in your life, then what are you waiting for?

     

     

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  • 9 Powerful Ways To Stop Thinking Negative Thoughts

    9 Powerful Ways To Stop Thinking Negative Thoughts

    Negative thoughts are simply negative – doesn’t get much deeper than that. But unfortunately, most of us don’t even know when we do it! Today I want to share some ideas on how you can catch yourself if you’re putting yourself down and some tips on how to stop thinking negative thoughts.

    Negative thoughts sometimes start when someone criticizes you or says something about you that you really don’t like. Other times we are our own worst critics.

    These thoughts might start as random thoughts or ideas which just flash across your mind…And then, they demoralize you, and start to pull you down. You become so sober and start feeling like you’re one of the worst. And for no good reason, you blame yourself for being you!

    Before you know it, you are so dispirited to the point that you no longer believe in yourself, your abilities, or capabilities. You doubt virtually all your potential moves – and seemingly have lots of good reasons as to why you shouldn’t take any action.

     

     

    Signs Of Negative Thoughts

    Just like a virus enters your body, multiplies, and eventually becomes harmful to your general wellbeing, that’s how negative thoughts get into your head, corrupt your mindset and attitude, and eventually generate lots of toxicity in your entire life.

    That’s why you must be conscious of your thoughts and how they affect your decisions and actions. Because once your actions are driven by those ill-fated, negative thoughts, there is no way you will live that fulfilled life you’ve always craved.

    A major sign that you are inclined to negativity is when you start asking yourself questions like:

    • Why am I not good enough?
    • Why does it feel like my world is the worst?
    • Why does it always happen to me?
    • Why does everyone hate me?
    • Why do I feel overwhelmed?

    Once these thoughts keep occupying your mental space, it’s best you deal with them as soon as possible so they don’t culminate into something devastating! 

    Not to exaggerate – but harboring negative thoughts will definitely have negative impacts on your mental, physical, social, and emotional wellbeing. In other words, your entire life will be negatively affected.

    Do you want to deal with those sad emotional twists? Perhaps you desire to be on top of your game, and in perfect control of your feelings? Do you absolutely wish to stop thinking negative thoughts? Well then, you’re right on track. 

    Here are 9 tips that will help you tackle negative thinking.

     

     

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    1. Be Aware Of Yourself! 

    If you want to stop thinking negative thoughts, you have to start practicing self-awareness… you have to be mindful and cautious of those ill thoughts.

    So, how do you go about it?

    Get a pen and a paper and find a cool spot where you can reflect without distractions. Ask yourself:

    • What exactly am I thinking?
    • What do I believe about myself? (Positive or negative beliefs?)
    • Are my thoughts in line with the beliefs I have about myself?

    These questions will help you realize your thoughts which are often embedded in what you believe about yourself.  If you believe (positively) in yourself and have an optimistic mindset, it will surely reflect in your thoughts and feelings. The same thing is applicable to when you doubt yourself or when you are pessimistic – your thoughts and emotions will be as negative as hell! 

    And once you allow those cynical thoughts to permeate into your mindset and attitude, that’s when you start feeling like you are trapped in a cage. If you really want to start recuperating from the damages that might have been done already, then start writing down the negative thoughts that often cross your mind.

    Do you always feel that you’re far from good enough? Or that your difficulties will not get better any time soon? Do you always assume the entire world is up against you?

    Just write down those feelings!

    You can only be aware of yourself and your level of negativity if you put them down on paper. This way, you can start taking further steps to deal with the unwanted situation.

    Related: 20 Deep Self-Reflection Questions To Ask Yourself

     

     

    2. Discover The Sources Of Your Negative Thinking 

    Another step in the right direction to stop thinking negative thoughts is to find out the sources of those gloomy thoughts. Now is the right time to ask; why am I feeling this way?

    Often, the negative feelings people experience are as a result of the fact that they are not comfortable with the way their life is going, yet, they are too pessimistic to work on themselves. 

    For instance, when you are dissatisfied with your financial status and you feel like you are too broke to make any difference, chances are you will not work hard and will continue being broke. At some point, you will stop believing in yourself and in your future… And thus, your negative thinking will always continue. 

    Another possible source of negative thoughts is your upbringing. The way you were raised can have a lasting effect on your mentality and mindset.

    If you were raised in an environment where you were constantly compared to other people, there is every tendency you’ll end up feeling “not good enough”.

    Now, for instance, if you grew up in a big family where your siblings all performed better than you in class – and they received accolades for that (while all you received was criticism), chances are, you will grow into an adult who feels like one of the dullest In the world.

    Also, if you were raised by parents who always blamed other people for their poverty, such a mentality can be transferred to you. Hence, you may grow into an adult who does not take responsibility for their actions – consequently, the poverty lineage just continues.

    That being said, it is high time you discovered the sources of your pessimistic thoughts. Because it’s only when you know their sources that you can start taking the necessary preventive measures.

     

     

    3. Start Letting Go Of Those Negative Thoughts 

    Once you’ve acknowledged your negative thoughts and their sources, the next thing is to start letting go of them.

    How do you do this?

    The truth is; it would have been far more complicated if you were still unclear about your negative thoughts and their sources. But now that you’re aware, stopping them is as simple as making certain assertions like;

    • I know this idea is negative and I won’t give it the chance to build up in me!
    • I am familiar with this belief that limits my progress, but this time around, I’m not giving in to it!
    • Oh! here is a negative emotion again… see, you have no power over me this time.

    By telling yourself stuff like this, you let go of those adverse feelings and regain total control of your mind. This way, it becomes easy for you to stop thinking negative thoughts.

     

     

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    4. Out Of Every Seemingly Negative Situation, Discover Something Good

    Most times, we are so submerged in negativities that we hardly look up to see the brighter side of any given situation. But the fact remains that if you must stop thinking negative thoughts, then you have to seek to discover something good out of any seemingly bad situation. 

    Remember, there is always going to be a light at the end of that tunnel. Because no incident is entirely bad. 

    Say, for instance, you had a bad day, or your plans didn’t work out, or maybe you made a crucial attempt and failed – you will easily feel downcast.  However, the ideal way to realize the good side of such negative situations is by asking yourself discerning questions:

    • Does this outcome profit me in any way I never imagined?
    • What lessons have I learned from this incident?
    • What can I do differently when next I’m presented with a similar opportunity to ensure a better outcome?

    Trust me, these questions will not only help you to discover the bright side of that painful situation, but they will also encourage you to grow from it!

    Related: Positive Thinking Tips: 15 Ways To Boost Positive Thinking

     

     

    5. Understand That People Don’t Really Care

    One reason you’re stuck in those negative thoughts is because you worry too much about what people will say about you 

    But here is a quick-relief; people don’t really care (about you, what you say, or what you do) because they have lots of other things to pay attention to! They don’t have so much energy to mind both their businesses and yours, believe it or not.

    I mean, how can a human being with a job, family, kids, and perhaps other responsibilities have the time to dissect your every move? Nope, they’re hardly always paying attention. 

    Sure, there might be a few people like that, but firstly, they need to get a life. And secondly, they should be considered irrelevant – because most people are busier than that!

    So before you let yourself sink in negative thoughts, remind yourself that people are too busy to be focusing on your every move.

    With this reminder, you shouldn’t be restrained by those pessimistic feelings (about what people will think about you), rather, you should be more willing to take bigger steps towards the things that really matter to you.

    Related: How To Stop Worrying What Others Think And Live Your Own Life

     

     

    6. Learn To Question Those Negative Thoughts 

    If you really want to stop thinking negative thoughts, here’s a trick;  start questioning those pessimistic ideas.

    For instance, after a terrible day at work and on arriving home, you feel so weary and saddened,  there is a higher tendency that certain negative thoughts will start creeping into your mind. Consequently, you might forget all your previous wins and start focusing more on the little mistake you made JUST that day…

    At this point, you have to be bold enough to question those negative thoughts. Ask yourself; should I allow this thought to dwell inside my head? Should I really take this idea seriously? Guess what? Your answer will almost always be No. Nope. Nah.

    These sorts of questions will enable you to realize that your life is not defined by one single mistake, rather, it is defined by all other things you’ve always done right!

    Related: How To Remove Negativity From Your Life And Be Happier

     

     

    7. Let It Out  

    By bottling up those negative thoughts, you’re not helping yourself. They will continue to weigh you down until everything about you becomes toxic.

    You have to let it out. Discuss it with someone close to you. You will feel so relieved afterwards. I always agree with that popular slogan that says; a problem shared is a problem half-solved. However, you have to be mindful of who you share your thoughts with so they don’t use it against you in the future. 

    If you don’t have anyone you can trust with your little, dirty secrets, then seek professional counselling. Letting out those negative thoughts will enable you to communicate with someone else who might be highly instrumental in helping you find a realistic solution.

    Remember, two heads are better than one. Well, not two heads on the same body…but, you get it.

     

     

    8. Live In The Moment 

    Whenever you are having negative thoughts, two things are certainly involved;

    It’s either you are worried about what is yet to happen…

    Or you are still worried about what has happened already!

    However, here is a mind-blowing fact: you have little or no direct influence over the future or the past. What you can control is what happens now. In other words, what matters most in your life is what you do today.

    When you do the right thing today, you will not repeat your past mistakes, and at the same time, you are building a brighter future. The reality is; you will basically stop thinking negative thoughts if you start focusing on the present – not the future, nor the past.

     

     

    9. Practice Gratitude

    You have to show gratitude for the little things you have. Appreciate your little successes and achievements!

    Whenever negativity creeps in and is increasingly gaining ground in your mind, always remember the things you are grateful to have in your life. Think about the square meals you can easily afford, the clean water you have access to, your good friends and family, the roof over your head, and many other simple (but important) things you easily ignore.

    Related: 50 Gratitude Journal Prompts To Help You Live Your Dream Life

     

     

    Final Thoughts

    Finally, it’s not enough to just learn how to stop thinking negative thoughts. The most important thing is to practice what you’ve learned! At times, it might get quite difficult to observe these stringent measures, but with intentional efforts, they’re doable. 

    And yes, the end result is absolutely worth the stress.

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  • 15 Powerful Traits Of Confident Women To Adopt Today

    15 Powerful Traits Of Confident Women To Adopt Today

    You’ve probably seen those women who seem unfazed, no matter the situation they face; smiling and standing strong! Have you ever tried to guess why they are the way they are? What comes to your mind whenever you think of the word “confident woman”? Today I’d like to share some of these traits of confident women that you can also make part of your life and daily habits.

    Do you imagine a superwoman with a flowing cape or just an elegant lady in a suit exuding a powerful aura?  Whichever it is, you would agree with me that surely, they do have something in common. Curious? Then, read on.

    In this article, I will reveal to you what has been cultured in the minds of these audacious women…their traits!

     

     

    Traits Of Confident Women

    As with most habits, you can adopt these traits of confident women to give you that boost needed to push you to the top. Nevertheless, you should take note that you do not necessarily need to have all of them to be confident. So, do not see yourself as ‘incomplete’ because of this. Just do well to adopt a number of them, and you are good to go.

    Ready to dive into the deep?

    If so, here are 15 traits – that if adopted today – would bring out the confident self within you:

     

     

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    1. She understands that she is not perfect

    All humans have a tendency to make mistakes, and a confident woman knows and acknowledges this fact. This provides a platform for bold steps such as taking on new risks, a new job or facing any situation without having to worry about whether the turnout would be perfect or not.

    You should mainly focus on giving your best shot to whatever you do and if you need help, do not feel belittled or threatened; ask for help. What possible damage would it cost to ask for help?

     

     

    2. She admits her flaws 

    This tails onto number one. Owing to the fact that she acknowledges she is not perfect, a confident woman is able to own her actions/ choices and admit that she made a mistake whenever the need arises.

     As a confident woman, you should be able to apologize for your mistakes without trying to shift the blame or give excuses for it. More importantly, you must always be ready to take corrective action. Put aside that ego of yours so that you can learn from your mistakes.

     

     

    3. A confident woman does not hold on to past mistakes    

    Having apologized for her mistakes, she releases every guilt she might have had with that situation. She understands that mistakes are meant to make her grow and are not something to hold on to. 

    Guilt is a temporary emotion that is supposed to pave the way for breakthroughs; through corrections from past failures. Guilt from your past mistakes shouldn’t hinder you from taking a step into the next opportunity that might come your way. Learn to move on. A confident woman sees every failure as an opportunity to grow, to expand her horizon.

    Also, you should know that life is not a bed of roses, and you might hurt or be hurt by others in the future. This should not stop you from moving forward. In the wake of adversity, persevere. If possible, try to make enough provisions for those kinds of situations. Learn to let go and do not make it too personal by taking it to heart. Be ready to forgive yourself and let go of the past. 

     

     

    4. She is a good listener

    Another important trait of confident women is that they take time to listen to people. It might seem like talking more or being a good orator is the ideal trait of a confident woman. Yes, it is part of it but do well not to underestimate the power of confidence in silence. 

    A confident woman knows better than to ignore the constructive criticism of others. She might choose to apply what she has heard or decline it, but she makes sure she listens first.

     

     

    Traits Of Confident Women

     

     

    5. She does not conform

    In the previous trait listed, a confident woman listens to others but doesn’t allow it to define who she is. She knows what she wants, listens to people’s criticisms and then decides whether it is useful to her or not.

    It will help if you do not rely on the praises of people to feel good. Have a mind of your own and do not conform to the sheer desires of others just because you want to be liked. Be aware of the fact that you cannot please everyone. 

    Whether or not you do what is right or wrong, some people would still complain. Why then stress yourself trying to please everyone? Doing this is definitely a sure way to failure. Instead, acknowledge the fact that you are a unique personality and you shouldn’t compare yourself with other women.

     

     

    6. A confident woman knows when to say NO

    A confident woman does not make promises beyond her capabilities nor does she over commit. You should know your boundaries and be able to say NO when the situation is not according to what you can make provision for. It’s pretty simple – just say no. 

    Do not over-commit and end up under-delivering. It would be a stain on your white clothing because you would become a person no one can rely on. Too many commitments are not favorable for your all-round health. Learn to say no.

     

     

    7. She practices self-love

    If you do not take care of yourself, you would get exhausted and ultimately, frustrated. Every confident woman knows better than to stress herself trying to please others or overwork herself at her detriment. 

    Take a break, make out time for yourself, take a trip alone, eat well, exercise well. For maximum productivity, you need to be in the perfect state of health. Health is wealth, and it should never be underestimated.

     

     

    8. She chooses her friends wisely

    There is a saying that goes thus “show me your friend and I will tell you who you are”. Most people say it but hardly apply it to their lives. A confident woman understands that her circle of friends plays a huge role in shaping her mindset and personality as a whole, so she is cautious when choosing her friends and not the other way around. Choose positive, like-minded friends who share similar goals with you and are always ready to hold and pull you up whenever it feels like you are drowning.

     

     

    9. She is not complacent

    One of the most essential traits of confident women is that they are never satisfied with being stagnant. A confident woman outdoes herself in everything and everywhere she finds herself. She goes out of her comfort zone to gain more knowledge.

     Be more industrious, read wide and deep; discover yourself. What is that talent you have? What field of study do you have interest in? Love dancing, why not go professional? Playing the instruments? Go for it. Who knows? You might just be the next big thing. Even the little things you count insignificant, they all matter. You would be amazed at what you can actually do. Success is intentional; see it and be it.

     

     

    10. She doesn’t try to be everything

    In as much as she is not complacent, a confident woman doesn’t try to be everything. You might want to be industrious, move out from your comfort zone and all, but you should also know when to stop. 

    Do not try to take on a lot of things at once. It is better to be a master of one than to be a jack of all trades. It would also give you time to perfect the skills you have already acquired and even break new grounds in your current field.

     

     

    11. She uses positive words

    Positive words have a very massive impact on your day and you as a person. Using positive words would shape your mindset towards having a better day in the end, even though there might be ups and downs. Speak positive affirmations to yourself. It could be a prayer or a motivational quote, or probably, just a soothing word – say it regularly!

    A confident woman uses her words to build up not only herself but also other people.

     

     

    12. Confident women set clear goals and take actions on them

    Setting goals is one of the must-have traits of confident women. This acts as a guide for her and helps to cut down unnecessary activities that can deviate her from her goals. It is one thing to set goals and another to take action on them. 

    Unless you take action on your goals, they will remain a mere dream. So, while setting your goals, do well to put the necessary measures in place. Ask yourself what you want to achieve in the next two months and the steps you would take to attain your goal. Now, could you write it down? Put it where you can access it daily, maybe close to your bedside and read it out clearly and loudly every day. Yes, it’s this easy, you are becoming confident already!

     

     

    13. She understands her strengths and weaknesses

    Understanding your personality and what works best for you is a plus. It helps you plan your day, guide you on how to take actions on your goals, keeps you healthy and most importantly, helps you perform to the best of your abilities. 

    For instance, if you tend to assimilate better at night, then you should read more at night, rather than wasting your whole day with a book and getting nothing while you could have used it for a more productive activity.

     

     

    14. A confident woman can take care of herself financially

    Being financially savvy is a fundamental trait of confident women. To be a confident woman, you should be able to stand on your own even if there is no financial support from others. Your partner might prefer to take care of most financial expenditures, but at least, you should be able to take care of the main payments. You do not have to be totally financially dependent on anyone.

    However, it isn’t just about making money, as most people are already thinking. The main issue here is managing the money…Financial intelligence. Acquire it.

     

     

    15. She is not desperate for attention 

    This is often one of the overlooked traits of confident women.

    You do not always have to be the center of attraction. This does not mean you are introverted or running away from the public. It just shows that you are mature enough to let others have that spotlight, and you are also confident because you know that people’s attention doesn’t determine your worth/ value.

     

     

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    Final Thoughts

    You too can adopt these traits of a confident woman!

    To crown it all, you should have it in mind that the confident women are not necessarily the prettiest, the slimmest, or the most influential/ successful. They are considered as confident women because they disciplined themselves, had a goal in mind and worked towards it while using the constructive criticism of others to build themselves in ways that made them outstanding. 

    Confident women never use people’s opinions as a yardstick to measure their self-worth. They understand what it means to be financially savvy, and to be surrounded by positively, like-minded friends, as well as knowing the right situations to say no. And they see the value of self-love, positive words. 

    They do not try to be everything at once. They have clear goals and follow-up actions they are ready to take to attain their goal. Learning is a constant trait, and they understand that they are not perfect; hence they admit their flaws and make appropriate corrections when necessary.

    Also, as I said earlier, you shouldn’t beat yourself up if you feel you do not have all of these traits of a confident woman. In fact, if you could read this to the end, you are already on the right track!

    The next step is to take action on these outlined traits, adopt them, and you sure are good to go. 

    Go and become a confident woman!

     

     

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    Traits Of Confident Women
  • 9 Tips To Stop Sabotaging Yourself And Your Success

    9 Tips To Stop Sabotaging Yourself And Your Success

    Self-sabotage. That’s a major evil for many of us. It keeps us from living the life we truly want and stops us from reaching our goals. That’s why is really important to identify self sabotaging behaviors and nip it in the bud. I’ll be sharing some of my top tips on how to stop sabotaging yourself so you can really chase after the life and goals you want.

    You must have heard that voice inside of you that keeps questioning your ability, your achievements, your wins, your accomplishments, and even your success. Listening to that voice keeps you away from what you’ve always wanted in life. It keeps you under the shadow of doubts.

    Self-sabotage manifests in different ways. At times, it comes in the form of low self-esteem. These esteem issues are often as a result of the fear that is generated by our own inner voice – it is often a negative voice! 

    For instance, you have a new opportunity – a wonderful opportunity indeed. And you feel like taking it… But then a voice inside you will say; 

    • It’s very risky.
    • You can’t do it. 
    • Remember, you have no experience doing this. 
    • You might fail. 
    • It is difficult. 
    • Others failed here. 
    • What will others think?
    • Just try something else… 

    That voice is simply limiting you. Listening to it will make you miss out on many opportunities. You will fail to set and achieve many goals. That’s the negative effect of self-sabotage.

    It is self-sabotage when, instead of preparing for your interview tomorrow, you are stuck on social media. Of course, you’re limiting your success. You chose the pleasurable activity (social media) apparently because that negative voice made you feel like it’s too difficult to prepare for the interview. 

    It’s also self-sabotage if, after your dietitian told you to avoid junk food so as to lose some pounds, you still can’t stop eating chocolates, pizza, and burgers! (Raise your hand if you’re on this table.)

    Now, how do you deal with this? In this article, I’ll show you just how to stop sabotaging yourself. 

    But before we get to the how, it’s important to know why you need to stop self-sabotage.

     

     

    Why You Should Stop Sabotaging Yourself 

    One of the greatest negativities you can ever embrace is self-sabotage.

    Yes, it’s understandable that many times people can do a whole lot to frustrate you, your plans, your goals, and your mission.

    But then, why should You be the one to frustrate yourself and your entire success? That is unimaginable. But it happens. In fact, that’s what self-sabotage is all about. It’s like engineering your own failure.

    Sure, we all crave success. But it all starts with our ability to stop undermining ourselves, to stop questioning our abilities, and to stop limiting our achievements. 

    If you can deal with that part of you that sabotages your efforts, then you will be more positive and optimistic in life. You will start doing what you used to be afraid of and you will start embracing your greatest fears. You will begin to take bold steps!

    By so doing, you will most likely achieve your goals and success won’t be far-fetched.

    Now, to the main reason you’re here: How To Stop Sabotaging Yourself

    Due to sad past experiences, you might become familiar with failure. This might result in chronic fear. This phobia can also be as a result of how you were brought up. You probably developed low self-esteem in the long run.

    In this kind of situation, you will be scared to try out new things – scared to embrace a new challenge. Scared to make a big move!

    But that’s self-sabotage.

    So, how do you overcome this fear? How do you stop sabotaging yourself? Here are 9 tips to help you!

     

     

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    1. Understand What Self-Sabotage Is

    The fact is, you are more likely to find a solution to a problem if you understand exactly what that problem is.

    In other words, if you want to stop sabotaging yourself, then first, you must understand what “self-sabotage” means. 

    Many of us have these self-limiting habits that we misconstrue as “precaution” or “carefulness”. But in reality, it’s self-sabotage.

    The reason your self-sabotaging behaviors keep lingering is because you often don’t understand that those attitudes are actually limiting you. You only see it like you’re playing safe… At the end of the day, you hurt yourself without even realizing it.

    To avoid this kind of ignorance, the first step to take towards solving this problem is to understand what self-sabotage entails.

    Now, to be clear with this, self-sabotage is simply that habit or mindset that stops you from being you. It is basically anything that comes from “within” you that prevents you from achieving your ultimate goal(s) in life.

    Based on this definition, it is left for you to ask yourself; how am I sabotaging myself?

     

     

    2. Realizing Your Self-Sabotaging Habits 

    Having understood what self-sabotage means, the next thing is to recognize those self-sabotaging habits you exhibit. Find out the self-limiting and self-destructive stuff that tend to undermine your progress. 

    Some common self-limiting habits or mindsets are:

    • Procrastinating unnecessarily: This is one behavior that holds many people back. Hence, a popular slogan holds that; delay is dangerous!
    • Negative Self-talk: If all you do is talk negatively about yourself, nothing can make you believe in yourself… Consequently, you will become pessimistic. And as a result, you will never succeed because you will never try. 
    • Perfectionism: The truth remains that nobody is perfect, and nobody will ever be. So, if you’re waiting till you’re perfect before doing what needs to be done, then you’ll never really do anything. 

    If you are doing any of the aforementioned, then please stop! That’s self-sabotage. And it won’t allow you to make any progress.

     

     

    Stop Sabotaging Yourself

     

     

    3. Understand Why You Are Sabotaging Yourself 

    If you must stop sabotaging yourself, then you have to first understand why you are self-sabotaging. What are the deep-rooted causes of your self-sabotage? The truth is that there are different reasons you subconsciously undermine yourself. Find out why!

    Is it because of your deep-seated fears? Anxiety? Or because over time, your self-esteem got lower? Is it because you are hypersensitive? Or are you depressed?

    Are you sabotaging yourself because you lack self-confidence? Or is it because you’re overly assertive? Are you undermining yourself because you work too hard and get too little to show for it? Are you the workaholic type with no results?

    Or is it that you’ve achieved so much and now, you no longer feel like trying out stuff? 

    Are you impairing yourself because you are an introvert and you lack the basic social interactive skills? Do you simply suck at communication?

    If you can ask yourself these questions, you’re likely to find out the cause(s) of your self-limiting attitude (or thoughts). 

    That being said, what is the cause of your self-sabotage? Jot them down.

     

     

    4. Address Your Fears 

    What are your fears? If you want to stop sabotaging yourself, then you have to stand and face those things you dread the most. Be ready to embrace them. You don’t have to shy away.

    As a matter of fact, you only feel like it’s impossible because you are scared. If you can remove that fear, you will begin to see the possibilities.

    Instead of backing off because of panic, rewrite your fears from a different viewpoint. For instance, if your fear is because of previous failures, you can simply choose to focus on the present. 

    What are the facts about the task at hand? If you can deal with those facts, then you have nothing to worry about. 

    Just so you know, you can actually reverse your fear into inspiration. It’s just a matter of perspective. You have to decide to attack that fear by facing it anyway. Deal with it!

    It mustn’t be about solving the whole problem at once… You can take it one step at a time. Every little step forward actually matters. It’s always going to be a gradual process.

     

     

    5. Surround Yourself With Positive People 

    The people you keep close to yourself says a lot about the kind of mindset you have. Mediocrity begets mediocrity. Positivity begets positivity. 

    Most people who sabotage themselves only do so because the people they communicate with (or are connected to) are mostly self saboteurs too.

    You have to watch the set of people you mingle with… Are they the type who are immersed in self-doubt? Do they always have a reason to say no? Are they pessimists?

    As a matter of fact, when you only associate with people who would always dissuade you from taking up new challenges, you will definitely start buying their suggestions at some point. 

    It might even get to the point where you will start doubting yourself subconsciously. So, try as much as possible to avoid such negative-minded people. 

     

     

    6. Be Realistic

    It’s vital that you understand your reality. It will help you to be you, and as such, you will always go for what you want without having a double mind about it. Being realistic is mainly about understanding that nobody is perfect. And that you (particularly) can’t be correct at all times. 

    Perfectionism makes you set impossible standards. As a perfectionist, you’ll most likely be physically and mentally stressed trying to make everything perfect. And at the end of the day, you won’t meet that “perfect” standard you aspire to.

    That’s why you have to be realistic with your expectations. It will help you to be yourself. And hence, your goals will be obtainable without much stress.

    Besides, perfectionism will deter you from a whole lot. Because you will tend to wait until a perfect time before you can execute your goals. Of course, that’s not what you want to do if you wish to stop sabotaging yourself. 

     

     

    7. Set Goals And Make Plans To Achieve Them 

    It’s almost impossible to stop sabotaging yourself if you don’t know what you want (or what you expect) in life.

    When you are uncertain about what to expect, your self-esteem will be low. You will find it difficult to take those bold steps. You will feel incompetent, and as a result, you will see yourself withdrawing from any challenge you encounter.

    How do you counteract this?

    You simply have to be clear about your goals. And of course, you must make plans to achieve them. Setting a goal will give you a clear pathway towards achieving your aspirations for the future. 

    While we live in an uncertain world, when you have a goal and a solid plan to achieve the goal, you will be a little more certain about what to expect. 

     

     

    8. Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone 

    Hey, this is the real deal. 

    After setting your goals, you have to get out of your comfort zone to achieve them! Often, the reason you undermine your success is because you prefer staying where you are comfortable. You only do things you feel comfortable doing.

    Well, it’s natural. We’re all wired to seek convenience. However, if you must stop sabotaging your success, you have to be willing and able to do things a bit differently – even if it makes you very uncomfortable.

    Nothing extraordinary actually comes to you in your comfort zone… Be mindful of that.

     

     

    9. Change Your Behavioral Pattern 

    Changing your pattern of behavior is probably one of the most difficult tasks of all. But then it goes a long way to determine if you’ll stop the attitude of self-sabotage or not.

    You simply have to deal with those behavioral tendencies that limit you from being what you want to be – or getting the results you’ve always wanted.

    How do you change your behavioral pattern? 

    First, you have to understand that any behavior you exhibit begins from your mindset! After all, every action takes place in the mind – first – before we even reveal them. That’s why you must change your mindset if you want to change your behavior. 

    Remember, it’s always one particular voice in your head that will dissuade you from making those big moves. Now, ask yourself; is that a negative or a positive voice?

    To change your negative behaviors, you have to stop listening to those negative voices. You should start listening more to that voice that propels you to take a step!

     

     

    Related reads:

     

     

    Final thoughts

    It’s not always easy to adopt all these measures to stop sabotaging yourself. It takes lots of time, dedication, and conscious effort!

    However, the end result is quite extraordinary. 

    You will be amazed at how much you can achieve if you stop undermining yourself and your success.

     

     

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    Stop Sabotaging Yourself
  • How To Take Responsibility For Your Life And Stop Making Excuses

    How To Take Responsibility For Your Life And Stop Making Excuses

    Living an intentional life is not always easy. Nowadays, it’s pretty uncommon to come across people who take responsibility for their lives.

    The average human will always come up with excuses as to why something happened or why it didn’t. Well, that is a bad sign. 

    You shouldn’t resort to blame when you fail in a particular endeavour… if you do, it simply indicates that you’re not owning up to your life. You are giving away your power to bring about change. 

    Yes, you might have failed once, but the fact remains that you are responsible. So you don’t blame others. Rather, change!

    Blames and excuses make you powerless. Just like a toothless dog that only barks but cannot bite. When you blame your downfall on somebody or something, you will stay down. But when you take responsibility for your downfall, you will be motivated to stand up and do it right!

    Taking responsibility for your life basically means you are fully in charge of what happens in your life.

    When you are responsible for your life, you won’t be the lucky man who attained success by chance. Or the unlucky woman who failed in life because of ill fate. 

    A responsible life is an intentional life. It’s not a life of excuses. To take responsibility for your life means that no one has the right to define how or what your life will turn out to be. Not even your family, friends, or partner – only you can. 

    If success is what you really crave for, then taking responsibility for your destiny is what you should do. And on the other hand, you should be allergic to excuses and blames.

    But the main point now is; how? How do you take this responsibility? How do you start owning your life? How do you stop living a life of excuses and blames?

    Well, you’ll find out soon enough!

    But before then, let’s get clear on the difference between self-blame and taking responsibility.

     

     

    Taking Responsibility for Your Life VS Blaming Yourself; Any Difference?

    Okay, let me make this clear; to take responsibility for your life doesn’t mean to blame yourself. It simply means being on top of any situation. It means being in charge of whatever happens in your life.

    The whole essence of “responsibility” is that it gives you the power to determine outcomes. 

    For instance, when you are performing poorly at work, and you decide to take responsibility for that, then you have the power to control the situation. You have the capacity to initiate change. You will be motivated to work better. And consequently, you’ll start having better results. 

    But if you blame yourself in a similar situation, you will be dispirited, demoralized, and utterly disappointed. At the end of the day, you’ll resort to self-resentment. Low self-esteem will be next in line… And before you realise it, you’re depressed!

    Just so you know, “blame” is simply negative. Whether you’re blaming others or yourself. Self-blame is destructive. It will never make you… it will only mar you.

    So, stop blaming yourself and start taking responsibility!

    Here’s how to take responsibility for your life:

     

     

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    1. Stop Blaming Others

    Like I said earlier, once it comes to “blame”, it’s a no-no. It’s understandable, life can be unfair at times. Sometimes, it might SEEM like you’re helpless… But, are you really helpless? Even if you are, will blaming other people solve the problem? I think not.

    The best result that “blaming others” will yield you is the liberty to play the victim card. Your only bragging right will be to preach victimhood. Or maybe you’d also be able to justify failure…

    But then, does that really help? Sadly, no, it doesn’t. Moreover, just like you will hate yourself when you blame yourself, you will also feel bitterness towards others when you blame them for your misfortunes.

    Of course, with such resentment and bitterness, you will never feel happy as a person. Plus, that person you despise so much might be happy wherever he is.

    A wise man once told a short story. According to him, a Saint was asked; what’s the meaning of hatred? The Saint replied; hatred is the act of intentionally suffering for another person’s sins.

    This implies that blaming and hating others will only really hurt you. Even when those you are hating on are doing just fine.

    Remember, blaming simply incapacitates you. You are just a powerless person if you keep blaming without taking responsibility for any given situation in your life.

     

     

    2. Stop The Flimsy Excuses 

    If you want to take responsibility for your life, then you also need to stop making flimsy excuses. You’ll agree with me that making excuses is like a culture for many people. It’s pretty common. 

    At some point in life, most of us had excuses. 

    Some of these common excuses are:

    • I couldn’t start the business because I had little money.
    • I didn’t get the job because the hiring team was corrupt.
    • I failed the examination because the teacher was just evil.
    • I was never destined to succeed.
    • I always have bad luck…

    I can continue to list the excuses… they’re just too numerous. However, those excuses are all flimsy. They hold no water.

    Take for instance, that examination you failed, you would have passed it if you took responsibility and prepared better. 

    And yes, successful people DON’T easily give up on their business ideas just because they lack the start-up funds. They find ways to generate the money they need… They don’t give excuses!

    Moreover, successful people don’t believe strictly in destiny, they believe in smart and hard work. They also believe in possibilities. So, they won’t give excuses like; I am not destined to… whatever.

    If you are still living in excuses, just know that you cannot take a decisive step forward. You will remain where you are because you always have an excuse to belong there.

    Excuses mainly give you reasons why you shouldn’t take responsibility for your life. You feel justified to be a failure when you have excuses for failing! 

    And with that kind of attitude, you won’t learn from your mistakes. It’s simply a negative way of life. Having excuses. Nothing is positive about it.

    Once you are able to eliminate excuses, you will find it easier to take responsibility.

     

     

    Take Responsibility For Your Life

     

     

    3. Live In The Moment 

    In order to be in total control of what happens in your life, you must start living in this very moment – not in the past or in the future – but NOW.

    When you live in the moment, you will have the awareness and empowerment that will help you engender the change you need.

    A popular quote has it that; Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is yet to come, but today is a GIFT, that’s why it’s called PRESENT.

    One of the greatest gifts you have is now. And what you do “now” is entirely up to you. So, what are you doing now? Are you taking the necessary actions to bring about change? Or are you blaming others? Or making excuses? Or dwelling in the past? Or just hoping in the future?

    It’s simple, if you want to be successful, live in the moment, and take responsibility NOW. 

     

     

    4. Love Yourself 

    One reason you’re not taking full responsibility for your life may be the lack of self-love. When you don’t love yourself you won’t trust your abilities and it will bring about low self-esteem.

    In order to feel better, you will resort to blaming others for your failures. You will always give excuses for your actions and inactions. It’s because you don’t trust yourself enough.

    If you love yourself, you will trust yourself enough to take up new challenges. You will believe that you can handle any given situation you find yourself in. 

    You won’t wait for people’s validation or praises in order to feel good about yourself or your achievements. Your self-esteem will be built within you, not outside you (by others).

    In a nutshell, you’ll be more fulfilled and happier if you love yourself. And as a result, taking responsibility for your life won’t be a problem.

     

     

    5. Take Care Of Yourself

    Start by checking your daily habits. What are your activities like? Do you work so hard without having a little rest? 

    How much exercise do you give your body? How do you feed? Do you depend on junk? Do you drink alcohol in excess? 

    If your daily activities don’t help your entire wellbeing, then your life will be a mess. And it’s more difficult to take responsibility for your life if you’re already messed up.

    Taking responsibility for your life simply starts with taking care of your body, your mind, and your needs.

     

     

    6. Take Charge Of Your Emotions 

    If you really want to master your life then you have to master your emotions.

    Remember, your attitude is often a product of how you feel. And your emotions determine your feelings. Therefore, your emotions determine your attitude.

    Sometimes, you are happy. And it reflects in your attitude towards life. That’s as a result of positive emotions. However, the truth is that we’re all bound to experience negative emotions as well. Not only the positive ones. 

    At some point in life, you will generally feel bad. It’s normal. And as an individual who takes responsibility, you should be able to understand that negative emotions are only a part of your life you can control.

    If you are able to fully take responsibility for your emotions – whether positive or negative – then you will live a balanced life. 

    Just so you know, an individual who can’t control his emotions can never take charge of his life. He will only act based on his emotions. And as a result, he will always regret his actions.

    Imagine if someone hurts you real bad and you can’t control your emotions…  You might even end up hurting the person really bad!

    Or imagine if someone makes you happy, and you can’t control your emotions, you might just as well sell your entire property just to express your happiness (allow me to exaggerate a bit).

    In both cases, you will end up regretting your actions… Because you allowed your emotions to get the better of you.

     

     

    7. Only Say What You Can Do

    Yes! You have to ONLY say what you can do.

    Being a responsible person also entails being an individual with integrity. You can’t claim you are responsible for your life when we can’t even trust your words. You are simply not responsible if you can’t fulfil your promises. 

    I mean, have you ever done business with someone who agrees on an appointment and never shows up?

    Someone who takes a loan and fails to meet the deadline? 

    Someone who will agree to certain terms and conditions and later breach the contract?

    Well, if you’ve ever met such a person, then you will agree with me that they are simply not credible. They are obviously not responsible enough.

     

     

    Related reads:

     

     

    Final Thoughts

    Finally, it is always vital for every individual to be responsible. As a matter of fact, the world will be a better place if it harbours only people who take responsibility for their lives. Okay so this is a bit of wishful thinking, but it would be pretty great right.

    In such a world, things will simply be a lot easier because most people will be easy-going. 

    This is because people who take responsibility for their lives don’t complain much, they only focus on taking positive actions. Think about how much value you can add to your life and the people around you simply by being intentional about everything you do, without making any excuses whatsoever!

     

     

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    Take Responsibility For Your Life
  • 50 Gratitude Journal Prompts To Help You Live Your Dream Life

    50 Gratitude Journal Prompts To Help You Live Your Dream Life

    Being grateful in your daily life can positively change the outlook you have on life. Today we’ll be sharing some gratitude journal prompts that will help you realize all the things you have to be grateful for.

    Do you practice gratitude on a daily basis or do you just wait till Thanksgiving day before you express thankfulness for all you’ve got? I hope the former is the case!

    But if you are the type that seldom appreciates how far you’ve come and what you have, then it’s time to adjust your focus and learn the art of gratitude. 

    Now I’m pretty sure you have come across journal prompts. They are simply known as statements or questions designed to inspire or offer you an idea on what to write about. 

    One of the ways to keep track of one’s life is by journaling. Journaling helps you to actively engage your thoughts and be in touch with your feelings. It boosts your emotional intelligence and strengthens your self discipline. Plus, journaling provides you with a creativity boost and helps you understand yourself better. Pretty great, yeah? 

    However, not everyone understands how to keep a journal. In fact, most people are oblivious of its benefits and believe it’s for childish individuals. But the reverse is the case! 

    Nowadays, it’s easy to get lost in the stream of bad media, crazy internet, disheartening news and other forms of negativity. We tend to forget the great things life has given us and focus more on the negative and what is yet to be accomplished. 

    This often has us wondering, is there anything to be grateful for? Well, a surf through some gratitude journal prompts can answer that. Gratitude journaling simply entails keeping track of things for which one is grateful for. It’s like keeping a diary of the good things and the great experiences you’ve had.

    Gratitude journaling will shift your focus from the negatives and help you see things from a brighter and, of course, positive viewpoint. In fact, research on positive psychology has shown that gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. 

     

     

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    Benefits Of Gratitude Journal Prompts

    I’m sure you can’t wait to explore the 50 gratitude journal prompts I’ve got in store for you. But before we do, let’s have a quick run-through some of the amazing benefits gratitude journaling has got to offer.

    • You become positive minded – Taking out time to put into writing the things you are grateful for will help you on your way to becoming more positive minded. Focusing on the goods things you have and appreciate will help you see life from the positive and optimistic point of view. The more appreciative you choose to be, the more optimistic and positive you become.
    • You become happier – Having a diary of things you’re grateful for is one way of living a happy life. Gratitude journal prompts will help you focus more on the good things, be optimistic for better things and ultimately live a happier life.
    • Improves your self esteem – Gratitude journaling is a great way to build one’s self esteem. Research has shown that folks who keep daily gratitude journals increase overall gratitude, positivity, enthusiasm, determination and alertness. As you go through each of these gratitude journal prompts, you get to be reminded of your abilities, skills and personal achievements. This will greatly help in building your self confidence.
    • Helps to reduce stress – Since  gratitude journal prompts are a great way to help you see how far you’ve come and how much you have achieved, they will also help you ease the worry and the anxiety of thinking about what you are yet to have. 

    You become more appreciative of who you are and less worked up about who you’re not. Also, studies have shown that focusing on feelings of contentment and satisfaction naturally counters stress. So, gratitude journaling will help you counter stress, feel more relaxed and eradicate anxiety.

    We can go on and on about the benefits gratitude journaling has got to offer, but guess what? Time is no one’s friend! So what are we waiting for? Let’s get on with it!

     

     

    Gratitude Journal Prompts

     

     

    Related reads:

     

     

    Gratitude Journal Prompts: 

    1. Describe your happiest childhood memory.

    2. What popular song do you enjoy most and why do you like it?

    3. What is one of your favorite songs from your childhood?

    4. Mention that one friend you can always rely on.

    5. Write down the biggest accomplishment in your personal life.

    6. What is the biggest accomplishment in your professional life?

    7. What memory of your father (or stepfather) do you cherish most?

    8. What memory of your mother (or stepmother?) do you cherish most?

    9. Give a description of your favorite pet (or former pet)? Why was it your favorite?

    10. Write out 5 hobbies and activities that bring you joy.

    11. What mistake(s) have you made that ultimately led to a positive experience? Write them out.

    12. Describe a family tradition that you are most grateful for and why you’re grateful for it.

    13. Write out the name(s) of the teacher(s) or mentor(s)  that made a remarkable impact on your life and how they have helped you.

    14. Write out what you like the most about your town or city and why it’s topping the list of your faves.

    15. Describe your favorite spot at home and why you like it.

    16. Write down that one thing you have learnt this week that you’re grateful for.

    17. Who made you smile in the past 24 hours and why?

    18. What recent purchase did you make that has added value to your life?

    19. Write out the biggest lesson you learned in childhood.

    20. Write out 10 ways you can share your gratitude with other people in the next 24 hours.

    21. What is your favorite scent?

    22.Describe your favorite sound.

    23. Describe your favorite image.

    24. Describe your favorite taste.

    25. Describe your favorite sensation.

    26. What items do you take for granted, which might not be available to people in other parts of the world (i.e. Clean water, electricity, etc.)?

    27.Write about a recent time when a stranger did something nice for you.

    28. What is the hardest thing you’ve had to do, which led to a major personal accomplishment?

    29.What is one aspect of your health that you’re more grateful for?

    30. Who can you count on whenever you need someone to talk to and why?

    31. Describe the last time you procrastinated on a task that wasn’t as difficult as you thought it would be.

    32.What is your favorite habit and why is it an important part of your daily routine?

    33. Describe a “perfect day” that you recently had.

    34. What is a favorite country that you’ve visited?

    35. Describe a funny YouTube video that you recently watched. (If you haven’t, what are you doing on this planet?)

    36. List 10 qualities you like about yourself.

    37. What is one thing you look forward to enjoying each day after work?

    38. What was something you did for the first time recently?

    39. What is one lesson you learn from rude people? 

    40. When was the last time you had a great nap where you awoke feeling fully refreshed?

    41. Shower or bath? Which do you prefer and why?

    42. Write about a time where you felt courageous.

    43. What are a few ways you can appreciate your health whenever you’re sick?

    44. What is a great drink that you like to enjoy each day?

    46.Who has forgiven you for a mistake you’ve made in the past?

    47. List 10 things you have now that you didn’t have 5 years ago.

    48. What aspects of your job do you enjoy the most?

    49. What is something positive you can learn from one of your negative qualities? (e.g. Being anxious means you’re really good at planning things out.)

    50. Describe a recent time when you truly felt at peace.

     

     

    For You

    Trust you had a great time appreciating the amazing things you have? Always remember that gratitude is a powerful tool when it comes to living a fulfilled and content life. 

    While going through your gratitude journal prompts, always keep in mind that life is not a bed of roses, no one is perfect so don’t expect your answers to be. You’ve come a long way and you are doing just fine, so be grateful for that. 

    Finally, if you’ve had a bad day and you might want to remind yourself of how great you are doing, going through the 50 journal prompts and some of these gratitude quotes below will be a perfect jump start.

     

     

    Gratitude Quotes

    “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.” ― Melody Beattie

    Gratitude Journal Prompts

    “Being thankful is not always experienced as a natural state of existence, we must work at it, akin to a type of strength training for the heart.” ― Larissa Gomez

    “We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.” – Thornton Wilder

    Gratitude Journal Prompts

    “Gratitude is the sweetest thing in a seeker’s life – in all human life. If there is gratitude in your heart, then there will be tremendous sweetness in your eyes.” ― Sri Chinmoy

    “The more grateful I am, the more beauty I see.” ― Mary Davis

    Gratitude Journal Prompts

    “The deepest craving of human nature is the need to be appreciated.” ― William James

    “There is a calmness to a life lived in gratitude, a quiet joy.” ― Ralph H. Blum

    Gratitude Journal Prompts

    “Gratitude is the most exquisite form of courtesy.” ― Jacques Maritain

    Gratitude Journal Prompts

    “The root of joy is gratefulness.” ― David Steindl-Rast

    Gratitude Journal Prompts

     

     

    Final Thoughts

    The truth is, sometimes we get so clouded by everything that’s not going our way that we just can’t see what is actually working for us. There’s no such thing as a life that’s better than yours! (Okay yeah those are song lyrics but you get it). 

    You know what’s funny? You might be walking or taking a bus to work complaining that you don’t have a car and you’ve got nothing going for you. Meanwhile, someone else is devastated about losing their job. And then again, someone else would do anything to walk again. 

    It all boils down to perspective and appreciating the little things. When you do, big things come your way, and only then will you be able to be grateful for those too. So, say a word of thanks today, or better still, journal it!

     

     

    Please pin & share these gratitude journal prompts!

    Gratitude Journal Prompts
  • How To Remove Negativity From Your Life And Be Happier

    How To Remove Negativity From Your Life And Be Happier

    One moment you could be excited, and the next, you’re down and having the worst thoughts ever. This is a common experience for the many of us today, largely due to all the negativity in our immediate surroundings. Social media, friends, colleagues, even family—just about anything and anyone can be the source of negativity. Sad, but that’s the reality we live in.  That’s why I’ll share some tips today on how to remove negativity from your life so you can be happier.

    It is so important to retreat and deliberately remove negativity from your life! You can even choose to escape from it all for a while. Be it by going offline, or avoiding certain places and people. Whatever the case may be, your mental health is of utmost importance and should not be taken for granted. Never, ever.

    If you are facing negativity in your life or something similar, read on as I walk you through some practical tips on how to remove negativity from your life, for good.

     

     

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    1. Identify your areas of negativity

    This is the first and most important commandment to remove negativity from your life. This entails pinpointing the reasons you might be a negative thinker in the first instance and the areas of your life that tend to spur negative thoughts. 

    In order for you to get a solution, you must admit that you have a problem.

    You can’t identify these areas if you don’t accept that you have negative thoughts. This requires a quiet time of reflection, so it is best if you put it down on paper. Studies have shown that writing things down tends to reduce stress and increase optimism.

    After putting down the possible areas that bring about negative thoughts, you have to change your mindset about them.

     

     

    2. Focus on the optimistic viewpoint, no matter how small

    As there are two sides of a coin, there are also two sides to every situation presented before you—the good and the bad. Find the good aspect of a situation and focus on it.

    Change your mindset. 

    Focus is the key to drifting your mind away from the uncertain “what ifs” to the “what if I can”. In simple terms, what you focus on is what determines it all. For example, if you lost a competition, focus on the knowledge and exposure you have acquired, rather than the “shame” and “lost fame”. This would help relieve the burden of frustration that is likely to sprout.

    Related: How To Have An Abundance Mindset: 10 Habits To Cultivate

     

     

    3. Overcome the fears that hold you back

    The main reason you have negative thoughts is because you fear what could happen if you finally decide to act and most times, you get lost in such thoughts.

    When faced with such fears, here’s what you should do: 

    First off, question the negative thought. To remove negativity from your life, you are not burying every negative thought or emotion that pops up in your mind, neither are you avoiding difficult fallings. 

    They should be faced upfront and questioned. These questions would give you a reality check and bring you up to a positively inclined perspective. 

    For example, often ask yourself this question; “What is the worst that could happen?”

    Most times, if not all, the worst thing that could happen in reality is not as bad as what you imagine it to be. Understanding this fact will help you take action and of course, go a step further in a bid to remove negative thoughts from your life.

     

     

    4. Do not dwell on past mistakes 

    This can be done in two ways:

    i) Let go of past mistakes

     Mistakes from past experiences shouldn’t be the basis of judgment for future occurrences. Most people tend to hold on to their past mistakes and use them to compare with their present or yet to come opportunities, making them think negatively and be reluctant to take action.

    ii) Learn from past mistakes

    It is one thing to let go of previous mistakes and another thing to learn from them. Learn to take previous failures and turn the next opportunity into success. Let it be a source of motivation for you, rather than it forming a bundle of negative thoughts in your mind. 

    Take responsibility for your actions. This will help you own up to your mistakes whenever you encounter any problem in life and overcome the fears that may want to prevent you from taking that big step you have been desiring to take.

    Acknowledging your mistakes will also help you learn from them!

    Where there are failures and disappointments in the previous project, shake them off. Thomas Edison had to try his experiment on the light bulb 1000 times, all of which were failures except the last trial, which was a success.

    Push on. There are always lessons to be learned when failure comes. It is either you are stagnant or you learn and be better. This is one of the most effective ways to remove negativity from your life. 

     

     

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    5. Take it one step at a time 

    Do not try to go too fast. Steady and slow eases stress. If you try to take on too much at a time, it might be overwhelming, and negative thoughts on just about anything might start to well up. 

    Taking things one after the other calms your mind and body, making it easier to think things through and find the optimistic perspective of any and every situation. Stay healthy. Take good care of yourself and only then would you be able to think positively about any situation. 

    Sleeping well, eating well and exercising daily will give you fewer reasons to have negative thoughts and more reasons to be grateful (am I right, or am I right?).

     

     

    6. Never compare yourself with others 

    Ah, the golden rule. This is something natural for all humans. We tend to compare ourselves and then get depressed about it, especially when we are on the “not good enough” end. 

    Some people might seem to have the perfect life, job, spouse, family, or something you desire but can’t have yet, and this causes you to think about all that you haven’t achieved or a previous mistake you made. 

    Whatever the case may be, always remember that all fingers aren’t equal (cliché, but please permit me). You don’t know how long it took to get to that level, what, and how they got to that stage nor the pain and suffering they endured just to attain that status. So, there isn’t any need to get jealous over them or immerse yourself in overwhelming negative thoughts. Be yourself and work hard at what you do. Doing this will make it easier for you to remove negativity from your life.

     

     

    7. Start your day in a positive way 

    How you start your day is very important. This could be done in ways such as:

    i) Performing Activities

     Take some time out in the morning to do things that keep you calm. You could pray, read a novel, do some exercises, listen to soothing music—anything that keeps you cool-headed.

    ii) Self Affirmations 

    These are positive statements that are said repeatedly, often daily. Research suggests that repeated actions program the mind to be inclined in that direction. So, the more these affirmations are said, the more the mind works toward that direction. Choose affirmations that are personally meaningful to you. The affirmations can be “I am the best”, “I am beautiful”, “I refuse to have negative thoughts today”, “I have peace of mind”, and so on.

    Doing these things will give you a positive boost for your day because how you start your morning usually goes a long way in setting the tone for the rest of your day.

    Related: Top 10 Morning Habits To Supercharge Your Day With Positivity

     

     

    8. Create time for leisure

    Here, you can do whatever you love. As simple as it may seem, it can be the hardest because of that project deadline you have to meet up with or your tight schedule which you must follow to the end.

    In all these, try to create time for that which you love to do. When you do something you love, you are distracted from feeling sad or having negative thoughts!

     

     

    9. Spend your time with positive people

    There is a common saying that goes: “Show me your friend and I will tell you who you are”. This implies a lot in positive thinking. Negativity and positivity are contagious. The people you spend your time with should be handpicked by you because you are in a transformation phase.

    Negative energy can send you tumbling back to scratch and I am pretty sure you don’t want that to happen. The people you spend your time with should be people who are cheerful, humorous, and those who can help bring you out even when it seems you are slipping back into negative thoughts. 

    Being around positive-minded people has been shown to improve self-esteem as well as increase one’s chances of achieving goals. Surround yourself with people who can uplift you and remove negative thoughts from your life.

     

     

    10. Bring positivity into the life of someone else 

    Putting smiles on people’s faces can do you more good than it will do them. It will help you get out of your head and any negative thought that is sprouting. It also boosts your self-confidence and self-esteem. By giving you a sense of accomplishment, you are provided with the necessary mind power to take actions without having negative thoughts.

    How do you do this?

    Be kind to others; you could buy lunch for a friend, give a heartfelt compliment on their clothes or style.

    Give a listening ear; a friend might just need someone to listen to his venting. Just listen and try helping out either with advice or just a consolation.

    Contribute your quota to your society. When you can focus on what you have to give to your society, you will feel good about what you have. You could donate to an orphanage home or the construction of a school building.

    This and many more you can do to shift your concentration whenever you see that you are slipping back into negative thinking.

     

     

    11. Let out your feelings

    At the end of your day, it will do you good to write down every unpleasant situation that occurred during the day. This will get it off your mind, preventing any kind of negative thoughts and as well give you a good night’s rest. Sounds like a win-win if you ask me.

     

     

    12. Understand that your positivity lies within you

    Do not rely on any external factor, whether a person or otherwise, to make you happy or spur your positivity. Remember that no one owes you anything. Yes, they might make you happy sometimes but it might not go that way every single time. So, you must understand that only you have the power to focus your mind on being positive. 

    With this mindset, you won’t be hurt whether things go according to your expectations or not.

     

     

    Final thoughts

    Finally, to reiterate, the key to having a positive mindset is first of all accepting that you have negative thoughts. Focus on the renewal of your mindset, see every situation in a positive light as much as you can and you will discover that your consequences, in reality, are not as bad as what you imagined them to be. 

    Try as much as possible never to dwell on your mistakes. Do not use your past mistakes to judge present or future opportunities. Do not try to take too much at a time. Take breaks in between tasks. 

    Stay healthy. Eat, sleep well, exercise daily, and make sure you hydrate yourself to avoid unnecessary weakness and illness. Also, spend your time around positive people who can lift your mood. Bring positivity into the life of other people too by helping out and being kind to them. 

    Make sure you don’t bottle up your feelings. Let it out by writing it down or talking to a close friend about it. Above all, you must understand that your positivity lies within you. Do not rely on anyone to spur your positivity. 

    Removing negativity from your life has several benefits, including higher energy levels and a better outlook on life! This will lower the tendency for you to fall into depression, thereby making you live your life to the fullest while learning and re-learning from the situations life throws at you.

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