Tag: self care

10 Things You Need To Stop Doing In The Morning

While there are certain things that are good to include in your morning routine, there are also some things that are better left out. Today I want to share some things you should stop doing in the morning so you can have a better and more productive day.

Okay so yesterday you got back home tired after having a really hectic day. You were so exhausted that you barely had your shower before crashing into your bed.

Shortly after you closed your eyes and started to enjoy your sleep, your alarm rang loudly. It’s morning already! Arrrgh! You can’t wake up just yet, you need to sleep a little more — and you proceed to slam the snooze button angrily while wriggling under the covers.

By the time your alarm rings again, it’s past 6 AM. You manage to get out of bed but don’t feel better — in fact, you are just as exhausted and as sleepy as you were the previous night!

Does this sound familiar?

A Productive Day Starts In The Morning

Having a productive day starts with how you wake up each morning. And to perfectly understand this, you should be asking; what does my morning routine look like? What kind of emotion or mood am I in when I wake up from sleep? Are my morning hours dull or lively? What does my breakfast look like? Am I a fan of junk or a balanced diet? These are a few of the questions you should be asking yourself if you are finding it difficult to make your mornings count.

Most times, we are the ones who complicate things for ourselves; we make our mornings overwhelming due to certain ill habits we have adopted. Over time, such habits become a drag on our lives as our productivity level keeps dropping.

Things You Should Stop Doing In The Morning

Now, before you wonder how poor morning routines result in low productivity, remember that if you wake up in a dull mood, you will lack the motivation to carry out your daily tasks effectively. And when your daily goals are not met, there is no way your weekly goals will be met. And so it cycles into months and years of low productivity!

Now, for the main gist; here are 10 things you need to stop doing in the morning if you want to be more productive.

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1. Hitting The Snooze Button

There is this popular saying I recommend you ponder on; “you snooze you lose”.

To be frank, hitting the snooze button feels great, especially in those early hours when sleep is just getting more interesting! Some of us wouldn’t mind hitting the snooze button 5 times (we are actually many on this table). But then, who is at the losing end?

You might feel like you are giving your body a few more minutes of sleep to wake up stronger. On the contrary, you are just destabilizing your whole body wake-up mechanism, thereby causing yourself to feel more worn out by the time you are eventually up.

How do you deal with this problem? It’s simple; rise from that bed once your alarm beeps!

Okay, I lied, it’s not simple. One reliable method that will make the wake-up process a lot easier for you is Mel Robin’s 5-Second Rule. All you have to do is count (each second) backward from 5 to 1 then jump up from your bed! It’s as easy as that.

Sure, getting up from your cozy, comfortable bed might feel like a hard task to accomplish. The trick is; don’t EVER give yourself the leverage to choose between snoozing and getting up. You will most likely prefer the former. Don’t think twice about it, just get up spontaneously!

Using the 5-second rule and jumping up on 5 counts will give your body that first alertness that you need to carry on for the rest of the day.

2. Logging Into Social Media

Believe it or not, we live in a world where social media plays a huge role in our existence.

Most of us are guilty of constantly checking our phones for new notifications. And a larger percentage of us will prefer to check our Facebook or WhatsApp inbox (once we wake up) to reply to all the messages we couldn’t respond to before we slept off the previous night.

Well, I’m not saying that it is wrong to use social media but doing that first thing in the morning is a no-no as long as productivity is concerned. You don’t need to be distracted by your newsfeed that early.

Rather, morning hours are the best time to pay attention to your morning, your life, and how you can align your life with your goals!

You shouldn’t allow Instagram posts or ridiculous tweets to sabotage your good vibe and energy early in the morning. And guess what? You can still go on social media by lunchtime as that newsfeed will still be there waiting for you.

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3. A Cup Of Coffee Ritual

It’s pretty common for some of us to gulp down a cup of coffee once we leave our beds. It’s almost like a cultural ritual as 7 out of every 10 adults are guilty of this. Some drink it because others are drinking it while others believe that a cup of coffee will energize the body…

Now, here is the shocker; drinking coffee first thing in the morning is absolutely wrong. Why?

Recall that the average duration of sleep is 8 hours, right? If that is the case, then it implies that your body has gone over 8 hours without water, hence, by morning, your hydration level is already low. You need water to rehydrate yourself, not coffee!

If you must take coffee or any other caffeinated substances in the morning, your body must be hydrated first. Otherwise, the caffeine will become too concentrated in your body and will end up becoming a toxin.

Does that come as a surprise to you? Well, now you know the right thing to do. Drinking 2 or 3 glasses of water once you wake up will go a long way to boost your rate of metabolism all day long.

READ NOW: How To Stop Being Lazy And Unmotivated And Become Productive Instead

4. Checking Your Work Emails

Work work work! Some of us are so work-centered that we barely remember ourselves, our bodies, our lives, or our mental and physical strength.

Are you one of those workaholics in town? I mean the type that stay late at work only to get home and continue from where they stopped? If so, it may be time to hold up for a bit.

Your career is very important, no doubt, but life is not all about work. There is much more to your existence than your job. You don’t have to wake up in the morning and rush into attending to your emails – that’s a major distraction. After all, they can always wait in your inbox until your actual work hours start. No matter how important it is, it will still be there for you by 8 AM or whatever time you choose to start your work day (if you own a business or freelance).

Use your early morning hours for self-care, reflection, and meditation. These are very vital for your body and mind.

ALSO READ: 12 Powerful Keys To Success In Life Only Smart People Know

5. Eating Junk

This is another place many of us are getting it wrong – eating junk for breakfast.

The quality and timing of your breakfast say a whole lot about how your day will pan out. No matter your health status, size, weight, age, gender, or race, your breakfast shouldn’t exceed 8 AM. Ensure the diet is balanced, and drink enough water.

Having breakfast like; sweetened beverages, chocolate, croissants, cake and other confections will only make you hungry and sleepy a few hours later! You can’t rely on such if you want to be energetic at least till lunch.

6. Not Washing Your Face

There is this refreshing feeling that comes with sprinkling cold water on your face as soon as you’re awake. While some normally wash their faces first thing in the morning, others don’t even consider it.

The difference between those who wash their face and those who don’t is that the latter struggle to stay awake even after waking up!

Washing your face helps bring back your consciousness, brightens your mood, stabilizes your emotions, clears your eyes, and sets your day in the right direction.

If that has never been part of your morning routine, then try it out tomorrow. You’ll surely feel the difference.

7. Watching TV

Are you in the habit of watching TV in the morning? You might be wondering why it’s on this list… but yes, it’s improper.

Many of us watch TV so we can get the latest updates on the happenings around the world. But doing it so early in the morning isn’t very productive. There are more important things you should be doing at that time to impact your life positively.

Besides, the news is mostly filled with negative stories from all over the world. Such stories will only stimulate and heighten your stress levels and as a result, your mood will be negatively affected all day.

Instead of switching on your TV, it’s better to relax for as long as you want. This will give you the room to meditate and reflect on your life before starting your day. Plus you will avoid unnecessary distractions.

8. Making “Unplanned” Decisions

The most common error we commit in our everyday life is “when” and “how” we make our decisions. We often fail to plan before we decide.

You shouldn’t just wake up in the morning and make hasty, impromptu decisions that will govern your entire day. Making such spontaneous decisions will keep you in a disoriented position because you are more or less forcing yourself to analyze the whole day within a few seconds. Trust me, this can cause severe mental stress.

Besides stress, making unplanned decisions will most likely bring about poor results – and I’m sure you don’t want that. So, learn to decide ahead of time. If possible, the night before. Early mornings shouldn’t be a time to make hasty decisions. Rather, it should be a period to put your body and mind in the right frame to execute the decisions you already made.

Waiting till morning before deciding is like doing the right thing at the wrong time. In other words, you are taking one step forward and two steps backward. That’s a perfect way to be a victim of your (own) circumstances.

READ NOW: 9 Powerful Ways To Stop Thinking Negative Thoughts

9. Not Letting The Sun Rays In

Nature has a way of caressing us at the right spot once we tap into it — the excitement that follows is surreal!

One way to tap into the wonders of nature is by allowing the early morning sun rays into your room. Keeping your windows or curtains closed after waking up is like denying yourself an extraordinary natural feeling that makes your day bright and beautiful.

Preparing for work, or having your early morning routine inside a dark and stuffy room will send a dull, groggy signal to your body which will psychologically affect you all day.

On the other hand, letting the sun into your room in the morning is an amazing way to wake your body and mind up. The rays of sunshine penetrating your window (and your skin) send waves of alertness to your eyes, body, and your entire system.

10. Not Making Your Bed

We are often too quick to focus on big tasks as we feel our daily productivity lies in completing difficult responsibilities. But that’s wrong. Your productivity starts with those little things you ignore to do in the morning — such as making your bed.

There is this sense of organization that comes with making your bed and putting your room in order.

A well-organized room (before starting your day) gives you the feeling that you can equally organize your work. You subconsciously feel in control of your life.

ALSO READ: 50 Gratitude Journal Prompts To Help You Live Your Dream Life

Final Thoughts

Now before you go, remember, the points above are only but a few things you might have been doing wrong in the morning that limit your productivity level. There are many other habits you should avoid in the morning, like watching Netflix, taking too long, warm baths, worrying over your outfit selection, and so on.

Stop paying attention to trivialities and start focusing on yourself and your life.

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January 3, 2021
8 Tips On How To Remove Toxic People In Your Life
In life, we meet different kinds of people — the good, the bad, and the ugly (and definitely the ugly-disguised-as-good too). But life is too short to have draining and toxic people sucking up all your energy. So today I want to share some tips on how to remove toxic people in your life.

Though ordinarily, we would prefer to cross paths with only those who bring smiles to our faces, the reality is; both the bad and ugly fellas who bring discomfort to our lives play a part in molding us into who we are — if not for anything, their criticisms make us stronger than ever.

Life can never be complete if you only have one caliber of people in it. We need an element of goodness, badness, and ugliness to strike the required balance.

Having a few bad people around you isn’t the main issue here. The major problem is knowing how to manage them and keep them in their places, especially since some people may not be so easy to get rid of. For instance, if the bad person is your mom, it’s not as simple as writing her off your life for good.

However, nowadays, many people have more bad and ugly people to deal with than they ever had good ones. This in turn makes life simply miserable for them. In that case, it’s important to detoxify your life by eliminating such people from it. And of course, that’s what we’ll be dissecting in this article!

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But then, who is a toxic person?

Let’s not get this all wrong. The truth is, a lot of people use the word “toxic” where it is far from necessary.

Some people are simply annoying and difficult to deal with.

You can’t call such people toxic. And you are not meant to handle a difficult person the same way you deal with a toxic person.

Say, for instance, you have a friend who;
- Takes over and monopolizes
- Always is the center of attention
- Won’t return your phone calls, e-mails, texts, etc.
- Won’t get committed to anything
- Isn’t accountable and doesn’t take responsibility
- Tells some “white lies”
- Tends to say what you like to hear — not necessarily the truth
Such a friend is actually a difficult and annoying person to deal with. Once you understand them better, you can still compromise and have a relationship with them. However, if a difficult person is not kept in their place, such difficulty could intensify into toxicity.

On the other hand, if you are mixed up with a really toxic person, you’ll notice that they are;
- Manipulative
- Abusive
- Easily angered
- Bully you with unnecessary jokes and demeaning remarks
- Negative
- Always in crises and often play the victim
- Always Right — never buy other people’s views
- Habitual liars
- Trouble makers – relish seeing others tremble in fear
- Enjoy seeing others in difficulty
- Envious
- Often with ulterior motives
- Twist your words and give them a negative meaning
- Without boundaries
- Always leaving you feeling drained
Now, there is no doubt a toxic person is far deadlier than just a difficult person as they tend to halt your progress and stall your general growth. So, the urgency in eliminating them from your life is… pretty high.

The magic question now is, how do you remove toxic people in your life?

How To Remove Toxic People In Your Life

Getting rid of toxic people can hit back at you if you don’t go about it the right way — just like surgery can either cure a patient or complicate issues if not well done.

On that note, here are 8 realistic tips on how to remove toxic people in your life:

1. Identify Toxicity And It’s Side Effects

In order to cure a disease, you first have to diagnose it. To eliminate toxic people, you must first identify their traits and understand the dangers of keeping them around!

It might be difficult for a toxic person to completely undermine your efforts towards self-improvement. But then, what if they do? The best-case scenario is; they will stall your progress. And I’m sure you don’t want to keep someone hell-bent on bringing you down.

A toxic fella can make you second-guess yourself on vital decisions. They make you feel sad, uncomfortable, and even ashamed about your improvement. Like, what the heck man?

Another severe danger attached to toxicity is that it is highly infectious! You might just end up adopting the same toxic qualities you despise in others — because toxic people have a unique way of making you toxic yourself. That’s how it works. It’s pretty common to see such incidents. And often, it happens without you realizing it.

For instance, have you ever worked under a toxic boss? They bully, intimidate, hate, and manipulate you until you start building a hard shell as a defense mechanism. Before you know it, you’re already becoming irritable to your junior colleagues — just like your boss! Consequently, the toxicity continues to spread within the organization.

Understanding how dangerously infectious such people can be will move you into taking the necessary measures to limit their influence in your life.

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2. Bear In Mind That It Can Take Some Time

Another thing you should understand is that removing toxic people in your life is one hell of a job — it takes time! You have to be rational enough to take it gradually. Toxic people are pretty resilient and will always be on your neck. Even when you try to shut them out, they tend to come back.

So, you have to bear in mind that it’s a gradual process and will probably take a while. However, you must maintain your resistance.
- ALSO READ: Positive Thinking Tips: 15 Ways To Boost Positive Thinking
3. Get Clear With Them On Your Boundaries

Don’t mince words with such lethal people. Be plain, clear, and precise with them about your likes and dislikes. Get them to know their limits in the most understandable way. Let your intentions be known, and make sure your words are not misconstrued.

As part of your boundaries, avoid keeping quiet when you sense toxic behavior. Quietness often gives them the idea that you’ve conceded. This motivates them to keep going. If you agree with them partly, simply explain to them the extent to which you agree with them. Like; “I agree with you on…, but I totally disagree with you on the rest.”

Also, don’t just set the boundaries, you also have to stick to them as firmly as possible. Failing to do so will mean you having those toxic people sneak back into your life!

If you’ve already decided not to return their texts, you don’t have to be tempted to text them back just to fulfil all righteousness. If you’ve already blocked them on Instagram, please don’t be tempted to unblock.

Setting a boundary for toxic people is good, but maintaining that boundary is far more important.

4. Remember, You Owe Them No Explanation

To be honest; you actually don’t owe negative people any explanation as to what you’ve decided or the boundaries you’ve set.

Sure, it’s okay to make yourself well understood. But then any further explanation you’re giving them is likely giving them more grounds to counter you. So, say what you must say, and keep your cool thereafter.

Be kind enough to let them know that both of you have gotten to the end of the road in the relationship and it’s time to call it a day. Preferably, just keep it as simple as ABC; tell them you no longer need them in your life. There is no need to give them room for further debate! Ain’t nobody got time for that.
- READ NOW: 15 Ways To Improve Your Happiness And Enjoy Your Life
5. Be Nice, But Then Don’t Overdo It

It has never been recorded that being good is evil. We often hear people telling sad tales on how they regret being kind to a bad person. But the truth is; nobody regrets being kind. You only regret kindness when you weren’t kind in the first place. You only feel remorse for kindness when you faked it or when it didn’t come from the real you. Genuine kindness shouldn’t hurt no matter the final outcome.

That being said, you can easily extend your kindness to toxic people. Be compassionate at times and give them the benefit of doubt. Listen to them if they have any complaints — know if there is any way you can help. Just because they complain always doesn’t mean they don’t have real burdens or difficulties. Perhaps complaining is the only way they can express themselves. It’s also possible they feel like no one is listening, so they keep complaining and hoping that one day someone might finally understand them.

Sure, due to their toxicity, they may accuse you no matter how nice you are to them. But remember, the kindness is just you being yourself. First, you’ll feel good when you are real. Secondly, you’ll appreciate yourself more if you don’t stoop to their level and join their negativity.

Always bear in mind that even when you are kind, such negative people will refer to you as unkind. It is part of their ploys to frustrate you and get you off balance. Disregard such weak tactics of theirs and keep being yourself!

Nonetheless, you should also be sensible enough to know when to step away. Being kind doesn’t mean you should go around drinking with toxic people. Exposing yourself unnecessarily makes you quite vulnerable.

6. Minimize Having Conversations With Them

If you must, mind the kind of topics you discuss with them. This is very important.

One of the best ways to remove toxic people in your life — or at least limit the threat they pose — is by reducing the rate at which you hold conversations with them. The more you talk to toxic people, the more likely you are to get hurt.

If you must discuss with such people, let it be fact-based communication. Ensure the topic is purely relatable to everyone, as in, common (objective) knowledge.

Avoid involving yourself with them in topics that have to do with sentiments, subjectivism or personal perceptions. No need discussing topics related to politics, religion, culture, ethnicity, race, even sports! Simply put, if you get yourself involved in such, it’s definitely going to be a disaster. It won’t end well.

There are instances where people got seriously hurt (emotionally) because they weren’t smart enough to be careful with the topics they discussed with this type of people. On some occasions, it went as far as resulting in physical abuse. So, trust me on this; you have to tread cautiously.

7. Know Your Weaknesses And Accept Them

There is a popular saying that goes; you don’t fall down when you’re already on the ground! Dealing with toxicity is not child’s play. It can get to the extent that such a poisonous person might discover your weakness and perpetually use it against you.

To reduce their ability to act on your flaws, you must know and accept your weaknesses. Here is the trick; once they discover you’ve already acknowledged what you suck at, they are less likely to use it against you as it won’t cause much damage.

Most negative people are not just comfortable if their hard-devised ploy to infuriate you fails to work on you. So they won’t mock you with the weaknesses you already owned up to. With that, they may just get bored and give up — at least for a while.

But then, you don’t just stop at owning up to your weaknesses. You have to work on yourself and get better at those things that make you flop. Dedicate your time and energy to self-improvement as it will help boost your confidence against toxic people.
- READ NOW: Journal Prompts For Self Discovery: 35 Questions To Ask Yourself
8. Keep A Safe Distance And Surround Yourself With Positive People

Finally, ensure you keep a safe distance from toxic people. Stop calling and texting them if possible. Block them on social media if it becomes a means to reduce the distance.

Avoid mingling with people who are likely to draw you closer to any form of toxicity. Rather, surround yourself with positive people. Staying closer to positive people will prevent you from having mixed feelings when you finally let go of toxic people.

Besides, positive people make you feel safe, cherished and happy. And that’s exactly what you need.
- READ NOW: How To Take Responsibility For Your Life And Stop Making Excuses
To conclude, always remember that you own your life, and your happiness is your responsibility. If all it takes to make you happy is to remove toxic people in your life, then what are you waiting for?

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November 9, 2020
How To Focus Your Mind When Life Becomes Chaotic

Life is often filled with ups and downs and ups and more downs. Not always an easy ride. Sometimes we have a handful of things going on. And as such, it becomes so difficult to handle it all. That’s why today I’d like to share some tips on how to focus your mind and energy on the important things that really matter in life.

You may be swamped with a job or business that barely gives you time. Perhaps you have a partner who depends on you for most things. Your kids are your responsibility too. What about your old parents – plus your siblings? Then there’s house chores and home management. Besides, you have friends who count on you. And to crown it all, life has not really been smooth because the economy is not always encouraging.

Considering how chaotic life can be at times, you might end up acting irrationally, and at the end of the day, you’ll make no headway.

When your life is full of confusion, it becomes practically impossible to get things done. The only way to salvage this unwanted situation is to focus your mind. If you really want to get things done, then the most important resource you must command is attention.

The ability to remain focused on your tasks without quavering – even amidst difficulties – is very important if your aim is to be productive. Our brains are basically wired to function through complicated mechanisms – which subconsciously work for us or against us.

Our mental strength mainly consists of our memories, feelings, emotions, temperaments, and subconscious mind. These qualities can either help us to focus our minds or to lose concentration. This is why we need to discipline our minds in order to be more productive – even in this chaotic world!

Rest assured, in this post, you will learn how to remain focused on any given task while navigating through obstacles and distractions.

How To Focus Your Mind

1. Eliminate Distractions

It’s actually very difficult to stay focused and remain on a task for an extended period. But it is even more complicated when we have lots of distractions to contend with. In today’s world, we are highly interconnected. And for that, a diversion is barely one click away. The distractions are always there. It’s almost like an inescapable phenomenon.

Even in your quietest moments, you still have distractions sitting next to you – thanks to your mobile phone. Before you know it, you’re already scrolling through your social media, attending to your latest notifications.

Now, if you must learn how to focus your mind, then you must start eliminating some of these numerous distractions around you.

Eliminating certain sources of distractions is not always as easy as it seems. Because while it is quite effortless to turn off your television or radio set, it might prove very difficult for you to deal with a co-worker, a partner, a roommate, or a sibling that distracts you.

One way to deal with this sort of distraction is to seek out a calm place where you can have alone time. There you’ll be able to work without any interruption. This special location could be your room, office, library, or even a serene relaxation park.

Another way to avoid certain distractions is by setting out a particular time of the day when you’ll request to be left alone. Sure, it might not seem nice to ask your loved ones or co-workers to leave you alone. But it is what it is, you need to avoid certain distractions by being alone.

However, not all distractions come from external sources. For instance; Worry, fear, discouragement, anxiety, and other internal distractions are quite difficult to bypass. Nonetheless, you can actually avoid some of these internal distractions by having adequate rest before you begin any task.

Also, ensure to drive your mind towards harboring only positive thoughts. If you can avoid all sorts of negative ideas, your mind will be way more focused.

2. Plan A Few Critical Tasks For The Day And Visualize Your End Results

Our realities are molded by our thoughts. This is simply because our thoughts determine how we feel, and our feelings result in our actions and behaviors. And finally, our actions bring about results.

If all your thoughts are centered on the results you’ll achieve if you finish your tasks at the end of the day, then you’ll do anything possible to accomplish those tasks!

Therefore, while planning your day (probably in the morning), specify two or three critical tasks that will take you almost the whole day to complete. Don’t meditate on those tasks shallowly, rather, visualize them and imagine the feeling you’ll have when you accomplish these tasks.

If your thoughts are always about those end results, you will be subconsciously focused on how to turn those thoughts into reality. Hence, you will be motivated to work hard and complete the tasks.

Related: How To Visualize Success In Order To Achieve The Results You Want

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3. Take Advantage Of Your Peak Hours

If you really want to focus your mind better, then you have to take advantage of your peak hours – those hours of the day when you are most efficient!

Some people perform better during the day, while others are simply exceptional at night. Some work harder in the morning, others in the afternoon.

To determine your peak hours, you have to measure your productivity level throughout the day. Pay attention to your energy levels, motivation, thought patterns, moods, and distractions while experimenting on different work hours. Repeating such experiments day after day and week after week will help you draw a credible conclusion.

For instance, if you want to experiment on “the morning hours”, you can attempt to do the most difficult chores from 8 AM to 10 AM – repeat the process every day for one week. Then the next week, concentrate on doing those tough tasks from 10 AM to 12 PM.

As for the “the afternoon hours”, start executing those difficult tasks from 12 PM to 2 PM, or 2 PM to 4 PM, repeat every day for one week… And so on.

The sum of results you are able to achieve within those time ranges will help you ascertain your peak hours. By doing this, you’ll be able to make the most of your peak hours and become more productive.

4. Avoid Handling Multiple Tasks At The Same Time

If your aim is to get through a chaotic life, then you have to focus on a single task at a time. Avoid multitasking!

According to research, multitasking reduces cognitive abilities because our brains are typically designed to fully focus on one task at a time.

Sure, there are people who manage to handle a couple of chores at the same time. And it is quite an advantage to them. But if you are handling a critical task, you have to fully focus on that single task to avoid costly mistakes.

In a nutshell, to improve the quality of work and the speed of delivery, you need to avoid multitasking.

Related: 10 Effective Time Management Tips That Really Work

5. Exercise Your Mind

The best way to build your muscles is by exercising regularly, right? Now, that is the same way you should build your mind. You have to exercise your mind (on a regular basis) in order to build your mental strength.

Learning how to focus your mind is all about constant practice. Whenever you encounter thoughts or things that distract you, you must perceive them as what they are – time and attention killers!

Whenever you feel weary and feel like giving up on a particular assignment, you must try harder by pushing it a little further. That’s how to exercise your mind, and a good way to build your mental capacity.

Sure, you might not get to your full mental capacity at the first attempt. But you can build it gradually.

For instance, you shouldn’t start by forcing yourself to work for 6hrs straight. You can start with just 30 minutes. Then after a week or two, you can progress to an hour or two… from there you can keep building on it – from strength to strength till you are able to work for 6hrs straight.

Remember, mental focus is all about constant training (of the mind).

6. Build Your Willpower – Be More Disciplined

Another important way to focus your mind is to be disciplined. One reason people easily get distracted is that they lack the required discipline to build their willpower. They hardly make a decision and stick to it!

The only way you can make a realistic decision is when you resolve that no matter what happens, your decision stands.

Say, for instance, you want to start exercising daily…

You shouldn’t decide by saying; “I will exercise today” or “I shall exercise today” (for those who still talk like Shakespeare).

Rather, your decision should be; “I must exercise today”. Make it compulsory.

When you sound very certain, that’s when your brain will take your intent seriously – and you will be inclined to perform. Willpower and self-discipline are two important traits that must be developed simultaneously.

Your willpower is the source of your intent to work – it empowers your actions. On the other hand, your discipline ensures you deal with any distraction or obstacle that undermines your focus. Self-discipline ensures you get past your comfort zone, laziness, or any other intrusive ideas.

Related: How To Take Responsibility For Your Life And Stop Making Excuses

7. Deal With Your Fears

For any given activity, you either feel pleasure or pain (sometimes indifference). And often, we tend to quickly attend to those pleasurable activities while shying away from those that are seemingly painful.

The reason most people procrastinate is because of the fear of pain. And that is the same reason they hardly focus.

Well, it is normal to encounter fears. Because that’s how we are all wired. Nobody wants to be hurt!

However, if you must maintain your focus at all times – then you must start dealing with your fears. That’s when you will stop procrastinating those difficult tasks and start getting your desired results.

Related: 9 Tips To Stop Sabotaging Yourself And Your Success

8. Live In The Moment

When you allow yourself to be constantly drawn to past memories, there is no way you can stay focused on the present tasks at hand. And when you are deeply worried about the future, there is every tendency for you to ignore your present needs – which are of course, very important.

The importance of being present-minded cannot be overemphasized. Living in the moment is all about dealing with your distractions, whether they are physical (your phone) or psychological (your worries), and staying mentally committed to the present situation.

Now, the fact is that you cannot change the past and the future is not certain for anyone. So, why bother so much?

The most important thing is what you are doing at this very moment. Your dealings today can help you avoid repeating your past errors and even drive you towards a more flourishing future.

So, why not stop worrying about things that are far-off. And start living in the moment?

Related: How To Stop Worrying What Others Think And Live Your Own Life

9. Always Practice Mindfulness

The most direct way of learning how to focus your mind is by practicing mindfulness. However, it’s not easy to build your mental capacity up to the level where you are fully mindful. That’s why you have to practice it all the time.

When you are mindful of your physical and mental space, you can easily deal with any form of distraction or chaos that life throws at you. You will effortlessly stay connected to any task you’re working on.

A mindful person is an intentional person. And such an individual is fully aware and in charge of any given situation.

Want to be a little more focused? It’s simple; be mindful.

Final Thoughts

Finally, the whole idea is to remain focused despite the turmoil that comes with life… Despite those worries, fears, and anxieties, and amidst those distractions posed by immediate pleasures. Because it’s only when you are focused that you’ll become more productive.

It will not be easy to make a sudden U-turn (from being distracted to being focused). But if you can gradually put the tips discussed above into constant practice, rest assured, your progress will be simply remarkable.

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October 4, 2020
15 Powerful Traits Of Confident Women To Adopt Today
You’ve probably seen those women who seem unfazed, no matter the situation they face; smiling and standing strong! Have you ever tried to guess why they are the way they are? What comes to your mind whenever you think of the word “confident woman”? Today I’d like to share some of these traits of confident women that you can also make part of your life and daily habits.

Do you imagine a superwoman with a flowing cape or just an elegant lady in a suit exuding a powerful aura? Whichever it is, you would agree with me that surely, they do have something in common. Curious? Then, read on.

In this article, I will reveal to you what has been cultured in the minds of these audacious women…their traits!

Traits Of Confident Women

As with most habits, you can adopt these traits of confident women to give you that boost needed to push you to the top. Nevertheless, you should take note that you do not necessarily need to have all of them to be confident. So, do not see yourself as ‘incomplete’ because of this. Just do well to adopt a number of them, and you are good to go.

Ready to dive into the deep?

If so, here are 15 traits – that if adopted today – would bring out the confident self within you:

1. She understands that she is not perfect

All humans have a tendency to make mistakes, and a confident woman knows and acknowledges this fact. This provides a platform for bold steps such as taking on new risks, a new job or facing any situation without having to worry about whether the turnout would be perfect or not.

You should mainly focus on giving your best shot to whatever you do and if you need help, do not feel belittled or threatened; ask for help. What possible damage would it cost to ask for help?

2. She admits her flaws

This tails onto number one. Owing to the fact that she acknowledges she is not perfect, a confident woman is able to own her actions/ choices and admit that she made a mistake whenever the need arises.

As a confident woman, you should be able to apologize for your mistakes without trying to shift the blame or give excuses for it. More importantly, you must always be ready to take corrective action. Put aside that ego of yours so that you can learn from your mistakes.

3. A confident woman does not hold on to past mistakes

Having apologized for her mistakes, she releases every guilt she might have had with that situation. She understands that mistakes are meant to make her grow and are not something to hold on to.

Guilt is a temporary emotion that is supposed to pave the way for breakthroughs; through corrections from past failures. Guilt from your past mistakes shouldn’t hinder you from taking a step into the next opportunity that might come your way. Learn to move on. A confident woman sees every failure as an opportunity to grow, to expand her horizon.

Also, you should know that life is not a bed of roses, and you might hurt or be hurt by others in the future. This should not stop you from moving forward. In the wake of adversity, persevere. If possible, try to make enough provisions for those kinds of situations. Learn to let go and do not make it too personal by taking it to heart. Be ready to forgive yourself and let go of the past.

4. She is a good listener

Another important trait of confident women is that they take time to listen to people. It might seem like talking more or being a good orator is the ideal trait of a confident woman. Yes, it is part of it but do well not to underestimate the power of confidence in silence.

A confident woman knows better than to ignore the constructive criticism of others. She might choose to apply what she has heard or decline it, but she makes sure she listens first.

5. She does not conform

In the previous trait listed, a confident woman listens to others but doesn’t allow it to define who she is. She knows what she wants, listens to people’s criticisms and then decides whether it is useful to her or not.

It will help if you do not rely on the praises of people to feel good. Have a mind of your own and do not conform to the sheer desires of others just because you want to be liked. Be aware of the fact that you cannot please everyone.

Whether or not you do what is right or wrong, some people would still complain. Why then stress yourself trying to please everyone? Doing this is definitely a sure way to failure. Instead, acknowledge the fact that you are a unique personality and you shouldn’t compare yourself with other women.

6. A confident woman knows when to say NO

A confident woman does not make promises beyond her capabilities nor does she over commit. You should know your boundaries and be able to say NO when the situation is not according to what you can make provision for. It’s pretty simple – just say no.

Do not over-commit and end up under-delivering. It would be a stain on your white clothing because you would become a person no one can rely on. Too many commitments are not favorable for your all-round health. Learn to say no.

7. She practices self-love

If you do not take care of yourself, you would get exhausted and ultimately, frustrated. Every confident woman knows better than to stress herself trying to please others or overwork herself at her detriment.

Take a break, make out time for yourself, take a trip alone, eat well, exercise well. For maximum productivity, you need to be in the perfect state of health. Health is wealth, and it should never be underestimated.

8. She chooses her friends wisely

There is a saying that goes thus “show me your friend and I will tell you who you are”. Most people say it but hardly apply it to their lives. A confident woman understands that her circle of friends plays a huge role in shaping her mindset and personality as a whole, so she is cautious when choosing her friends and not the other way around. Choose positive, like-minded friends who share similar goals with you and are always ready to hold and pull you up whenever it feels like you are drowning.

9. She is not complacent

One of the most essential traits of confident women is that they are never satisfied with being stagnant. A confident woman outdoes herself in everything and everywhere she finds herself. She goes out of her comfort zone to gain more knowledge.

Be more industrious, read wide and deep; discover yourself. What is that talent you have? What field of study do you have interest in? Love dancing, why not go professional? Playing the instruments? Go for it. Who knows? You might just be the next big thing. Even the little things you count insignificant, they all matter. You would be amazed at what you can actually do. Success is intentional; see it and be it.

10. She doesn’t try to be everything

In as much as she is not complacent, a confident woman doesn’t try to be everything. You might want to be industrious, move out from your comfort zone and all, but you should also know when to stop.

Do not try to take on a lot of things at once. It is better to be a master of one than to be a jack of all trades. It would also give you time to perfect the skills you have already acquired and even break new grounds in your current field.

11. She uses positive words

Positive words have a very massive impact on your day and you as a person. Using positive words would shape your mindset towards having a better day in the end, even though there might be ups and downs. Speak positive affirmations to yourself. It could be a prayer or a motivational quote, or probably, just a soothing word – say it regularly!

A confident woman uses her words to build up not only herself but also other people.

12. Confident women set clear goals and take actions on them

Setting goals is one of the must-have traits of confident women. This acts as a guide for her and helps to cut down unnecessary activities that can deviate her from her goals. It is one thing to set goals and another to take action on them.

Unless you take action on your goals, they will remain a mere dream. So, while setting your goals, do well to put the necessary measures in place. Ask yourself what you want to achieve in the next two months and the steps you would take to attain your goal. Now, could you write it down? Put it where you can access it daily, maybe close to your bedside and read it out clearly and loudly every day. Yes, it’s this easy, you are becoming confident already!

13. She understands her strengths and weaknesses

Understanding your personality and what works best for you is a plus. It helps you plan your day, guide you on how to take actions on your goals, keeps you healthy and most importantly, helps you perform to the best of your abilities.

For instance, if you tend to assimilate better at night, then you should read more at night, rather than wasting your whole day with a book and getting nothing while you could have used it for a more productive activity.

14. A confident woman can take care of herself financially

Being financially savvy is a fundamental trait of confident women. To be a confident woman, you should be able to stand on your own even if there is no financial support from others. Your partner might prefer to take care of most financial expenditures, but at least, you should be able to take care of the main payments. You do not have to be totally financially dependent on anyone.

However, it isn’t just about making money, as most people are already thinking. The main issue here is managing the money…Financial intelligence. Acquire it.

15. She is not desperate for attention

This is often one of the overlooked traits of confident women.

You do not always have to be the center of attraction. This does not mean you are introverted or running away from the public. It just shows that you are mature enough to let others have that spotlight, and you are also confident because you know that people’s attention doesn’t determine your worth/ value.

Related reads:
Final Thoughts

You too can adopt these traits of a confident woman!

To crown it all, you should have it in mind that the confident women are not necessarily the prettiest, the slimmest, or the most influential/ successful. They are considered as confident women because they disciplined themselves, had a goal in mind and worked towards it while using the constructive criticism of others to build themselves in ways that made them outstanding.

Confident women never use people’s opinions as a yardstick to measure their self-worth. They understand what it means to be financially savvy, and to be surrounded by positively, like-minded friends, as well as knowing the right situations to say no. And they see the value of self-love, positive words.

They do not try to be everything at once. They have clear goals and follow-up actions they are ready to take to attain their goal. Learning is a constant trait, and they understand that they are not perfect; hence they admit their flaws and make appropriate corrections when necessary.

Also, as I said earlier, you shouldn’t beat yourself up if you feel you do not have all of these traits of a confident woman. In fact, if you could read this to the end, you are already on the right track!

The next step is to take action on these outlined traits, adopt them, and you sure are good to go.

Go and become a confident woman!

Please pin & share these traits of confident women 🙂
September 9, 2020
How To Take Responsibility For Your Life And Stop Making Excuses
Living an intentional life is not always easy. Nowadays, it’s pretty uncommon to come across people who take responsibility for their lives.

The average human will always come up with excuses as to why something happened or why it didn’t. Well, that is a bad sign.

You shouldn’t resort to blame when you fail in a particular endeavour… if you do, it simply indicates that you’re not owning up to your life. You are giving away your power to bring about change.

Yes, you might have failed once, but the fact remains that you are responsible. So you don’t blame others. Rather, change!

Blames and excuses make you powerless. Just like a toothless dog that only barks but cannot bite. When you blame your downfall on somebody or something, you will stay down. But when you take responsibility for your downfall, you will be motivated to stand up and do it right!

Taking responsibility for your life basically means you are fully in charge of what happens in your life.

When you are responsible for your life, you won’t be the lucky man who attained success by chance. Or the unlucky woman who failed in life because of ill fate.

A responsible life is an intentional life. It’s not a life of excuses. To take responsibility for your life means that no one has the right to define how or what your life will turn out to be. Not even your family, friends, or partner – only you can.

If success is what you really crave for, then taking responsibility for your destiny is what you should do. And on the other hand, you should be allergic to excuses and blames.

But the main point now is; how? How do you take this responsibility? How do you start owning your life? How do you stop living a life of excuses and blames?

Well, you’ll find out soon enough!

But before then, let’s get clear on the difference between self-blame and taking responsibility.

Taking Responsibility for Your Life VS Blaming Yourself; Any Difference?

Okay, let me make this clear; to take responsibility for your life doesn’t mean to blame yourself. It simply means being on top of any situation. It means being in charge of whatever happens in your life.

The whole essence of “responsibility” is that it gives you the power to determine outcomes.

For instance, when you are performing poorly at work, and you decide to take responsibility for that, then you have the power to control the situation. You have the capacity to initiate change. You will be motivated to work better. And consequently, you’ll start having better results.

But if you blame yourself in a similar situation, you will be dispirited, demoralized, and utterly disappointed. At the end of the day, you’ll resort to self-resentment. Low self-esteem will be next in line… And before you realise it, you’re depressed!

Just so you know, “blame” is simply negative. Whether you’re blaming others or yourself. Self-blame is destructive. It will never make you… it will only mar you.

So, stop blaming yourself and start taking responsibility!

Here’s how to take responsibility for your life:

1. Stop Blaming Others

Like I said earlier, once it comes to “blame”, it’s a no-no. It’s understandable, life can be unfair at times. Sometimes, it might SEEM like you’re helpless… But, are you really helpless? Even if you are, will blaming other people solve the problem? I think not.

The best result that “blaming others” will yield you is the liberty to play the victim card. Your only bragging right will be to preach victimhood. Or maybe you’d also be able to justify failure…

But then, does that really help? Sadly, no, it doesn’t. Moreover, just like you will hate yourself when you blame yourself, you will also feel bitterness towards others when you blame them for your misfortunes.

Of course, with such resentment and bitterness, you will never feel happy as a person. Plus, that person you despise so much might be happy wherever he is.

A wise man once told a short story. According to him, a Saint was asked; what’s the meaning of hatred? The Saint replied; hatred is the act of intentionally suffering for another person’s sins.

This implies that blaming and hating others will only really hurt you. Even when those you are hating on are doing just fine.

Remember, blaming simply incapacitates you. You are just a powerless person if you keep blaming without taking responsibility for any given situation in your life.

2. Stop The Flimsy Excuses

If you want to take responsibility for your life, then you also need to stop making flimsy excuses. You’ll agree with me that making excuses is like a culture for many people. It’s pretty common.

At some point in life, most of us had excuses.

Some of these common excuses are:
- I couldn’t start the business because I had little money.
- I didn’t get the job because the hiring team was corrupt.
- I failed the examination because the teacher was just evil.
- I was never destined to succeed.
- I always have bad luck…
I can continue to list the excuses… they’re just too numerous. However, those excuses are all flimsy. They hold no water.

Take for instance, that examination you failed, you would have passed it if you took responsibility and prepared better.

And yes, successful people DON’T easily give up on their business ideas just because they lack the start-up funds. They find ways to generate the money they need… They don’t give excuses!

Moreover, successful people don’t believe strictly in destiny, they believe in smart and hard work. They also believe in possibilities. So, they won’t give excuses like; I am not destined to… whatever.

If you are still living in excuses, just know that you cannot take a decisive step forward. You will remain where you are because you always have an excuse to belong there.

Excuses mainly give you reasons why you shouldn’t take responsibility for your life. You feel justified to be a failure when you have excuses for failing!

And with that kind of attitude, you won’t learn from your mistakes. It’s simply a negative way of life. Having excuses. Nothing is positive about it.

Once you are able to eliminate excuses, you will find it easier to take responsibility.

3. Live In The Moment

In order to be in total control of what happens in your life, you must start living in this very moment – not in the past or in the future – but NOW.

When you live in the moment, you will have the awareness and empowerment that will help you engender the change you need.

A popular quote has it that; Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is yet to come, but today is a GIFT, that’s why it’s called PRESENT.

One of the greatest gifts you have is now. And what you do “now” is entirely up to you. So, what are you doing now? Are you taking the necessary actions to bring about change? Or are you blaming others? Or making excuses? Or dwelling in the past? Or just hoping in the future?

It’s simple, if you want to be successful, live in the moment, and take responsibility NOW.

4. Love Yourself

One reason you’re not taking full responsibility for your life may be the lack of self-love. When you don’t love yourself you won’t trust your abilities and it will bring about low self-esteem.

In order to feel better, you will resort to blaming others for your failures. You will always give excuses for your actions and inactions. It’s because you don’t trust yourself enough.

If you love yourself, you will trust yourself enough to take up new challenges. You will believe that you can handle any given situation you find yourself in.

You won’t wait for people’s validation or praises in order to feel good about yourself or your achievements. Your self-esteem will be built within you, not outside you (by others).

In a nutshell, you’ll be more fulfilled and happier if you love yourself. And as a result, taking responsibility for your life won’t be a problem.

5. Take Care Of Yourself

Start by checking your daily habits. What are your activities like? Do you work so hard without having a little rest?

How much exercise do you give your body? How do you feed? Do you depend on junk? Do you drink alcohol in excess?

If your daily activities don’t help your entire wellbeing, then your life will be a mess. And it’s more difficult to take responsibility for your life if you’re already messed up.

Taking responsibility for your life simply starts with taking care of your body, your mind, and your needs.

6. Take Charge Of Your Emotions

If you really want to master your life then you have to master your emotions.

Remember, your attitude is often a product of how you feel. And your emotions determine your feelings. Therefore, your emotions determine your attitude.

Sometimes, you are happy. And it reflects in your attitude towards life. That’s as a result of positive emotions. However, the truth is that we’re all bound to experience negative emotions as well. Not only the positive ones.

At some point in life, you will generally feel bad. It’s normal. And as an individual who takes responsibility, you should be able to understand that negative emotions are only a part of your life you can control.

If you are able to fully take responsibility for your emotions – whether positive or negative – then you will live a balanced life.

Just so you know, an individual who can’t control his emotions can never take charge of his life. He will only act based on his emotions. And as a result, he will always regret his actions.

Imagine if someone hurts you real bad and you can’t control your emotions… You might even end up hurting the person really bad!

Or imagine if someone makes you happy, and you can’t control your emotions, you might just as well sell your entire property just to express your happiness (allow me to exaggerate a bit).

In both cases, you will end up regretting your actions… Because you allowed your emotions to get the better of you.

7. Only Say What You Can Do

Yes! You have to ONLY say what you can do.

Being a responsible person also entails being an individual with integrity. You can’t claim you are responsible for your life when we can’t even trust your words. You are simply not responsible if you can’t fulfil your promises.

I mean, have you ever done business with someone who agrees on an appointment and never shows up?

Someone who takes a loan and fails to meet the deadline?

Someone who will agree to certain terms and conditions and later breach the contract?

Well, if you’ve ever met such a person, then you will agree with me that they are simply not credible. They are obviously not responsible enough.

Related reads:
Final Thoughts

Finally, it is always vital for every individual to be responsible. As a matter of fact, the world will be a better place if it harbours only people who take responsibility for their lives. Okay so this is a bit of wishful thinking, but it would be pretty great right.

In such a world, things will simply be a lot easier because most people will be easy-going.

This is because people who take responsibility for their lives don’t complain much, they only focus on taking positive actions. Think about how much value you can add to your life and the people around you simply by being intentional about everything you do, without making any excuses whatsoever!

Please PIN and SHARE these tips on how to take responsibility for your life!
August 26, 2020
10 Powerful Girl Boss Habits To Copy That Will Change Your Life
Being a girl boss simply entails being a go-getter, taking responsibility for your words and actions, and living a purposeful life. Phew! That’s pretty much yeah? Not even considering the benefits that come with it. Today I’ll be sharing some powerful girl boss habits you can adopt to up-level your life.

It’s quite easy to sit on the couch and read through this but having to make these habits a daily ritual takes more than just getting excited. Consistency and 0% laziness should be the watchwords for every aspiring boss lady.

Copying girl boss habits that will bring you significant change is not going to be a piece of cake. There will be different forces and scenarios that might leave you hanging in the garden of “I’m so exhausted, I barely have time to breathe, how do I go about this?”

But trust me, it’s worth the effort. Nobody’s life is all perfect and fancy like the pictures in our daydreams so don’t expect to suddenly take up and master these habits overnight.

Take your time, understand why you’re doing this, let it sink in and of course, it’s all about baby steps. So, let’s take an in-depth look at 10 of the girl boss habits that will change your life and help you be a better person.

Related reads:
1. Make Purposeful Living Your Niche

Knowing your life purpose is the first step toward living a truly conscious life. A life of purpose provides us with a clear goal, a set finish line that you truly want to reach. ~Simon Foster

The foremost habit to emulate as a girl boss is living purposefully everyday. Like I said, it’s easy for you to just run through all the 10 habits listed out here and try to live up to them, but guess what? Without a driving force, it won’t last.

Your thoughts, actions and every day decision making should be tied to your purpose. It should be your driving force in life. Being a girl boss means living with intentions. Now the question is, do you have a purpose? Don’t just pass time or live everyday as it comes – live intentionally. Be purposeful, be a girl boss!

2. Have A Plan And Stick To It

I’m sure you aspire to make one, two or all of your dreams come true. Either long term or short term, achieving a goal requires that you have a plan on how to go about it.

For instance, if your goal is to improve your grades from third class to 1st class by the end of the academic year, ensuring you go for classes and studying more extensively is great then to achieve such goals.

However, don’t just create plans, stick to them. It might be hard but it’s not impossible. No matter what the outcome is, at the end you will be fulfilled and super proud you made an effort. Always remember, you can do whatever you put your mind to.

If you plan to make it happen and stick to that plan, come what may, it will happen. Sticking to a goal plan is one of the best girl boss habits that will change your life for good.

3. Be An Early Bird

Being an early bird is not just about waking up early in the morning, it’s also about completing tasks within the stipulated time frame, being on time for scheduled meetings and events and also meeting up with work deadlines.

However, all these will be seldom possible if you start off your day wishing you can use the time machine, put the alarm clock on snooze or even speed off to another adventure in Dreamland. That’s certainly a grumpy kick-start for a girl boss.

Now is definitely not the time to dread the early morning blues. Waking up as early as possible in the morning has got loads of benefits that come with it. It helps you to be mentally alert, have a productive day and reduces your stress levels.

To make this bag of goodies hers, a girl boss ensures she sleeps early enough to wake up early and hearty. You don’t expect to be booed up with Netflix until 3am and then wake up at 5am rejuvenated. That’s mission impossible, unless you plan to have an unproductive day with a banging hangover to go with it.

Related: 15 Tips On How To Wake Up Earlier And Not Feel Tired

4. Get Adequate Rest And Sleep

Speaking of hangovers, I hope you’re aware that excessive alcohol intake is not the only causal factor for hangovers?

Having a busy day working your butt off with little or no breaks, and pulling all-nighters working on the computer is enough to start your day on an exhausting note (and that is definitely not a girl boss routine).

Since being a boss lady sums up into taking charge and being in control of your life, make sure that influences your physical health and wellbeing too. Know when to rest and when to work.

It’s understandable that being a purpose-driven girl boss can have you bagging the world’s most busy woman award. However, your daily activities if not put in check will have you overworking your body system. It is therefore your responsibility to make a habit of giving your body the proper rest and sleep it needs.

5. Try To Do Away With Procrastination

Another of these premium girl boss habits that will change your life for good is ensuring you give no room for procrastination. Knowing what to do and when to do it should always be a top priority. You’re a top gunner and being a top gunner means you can’t afford a slack in your schedule and plans.

I know it can be pretty hard to stick to schedules at times especially when others are involved (no one is an island and most times, you can’t control other people’s decisions). However, the effects of procrastination are costlier than those of avoiding it.

Procrastination will make you blow opportunities, waste your time, lower your self esteem, make rushed and poor decisions, ruin your reputation and may even cost you your career.

Therefore, ensure you give “doing the right thing at the right time” your best shot. It’s a wonderful girl boss habit to emulate and it will definitely give your life the change you need.

6. Eat Well

Another girl boss habit you need to be familiar with and emulate is having a healthy diet. A busy schedule is a perfect excuse to ditch good foods for junk. It’s okay to want to eat burgers and cookies and hotdogs and down it all with a bottle of soda because you’re yet to collate the PowerPoints for the next presentation and lunchtime is too expensive to spare.

However, junk food will get you a feel good vibe this minute and you’ll be feeling bananas the next. Moral of the story; they are only responsible for some minutes of sugar rush.

Eating healthy meals on the other hand, will not only give your body the adequate supply of nutrients it needs to be able to function well, it will also enhance your immune system, improve your well-being, reduce high blood pressure, lower high cholesterol and improve your ability to recover from illness or injury.

Don’t forget, you are what you eat. A healthy diet equals a healthy body. So make healthy eating a habit today!

7. Cut Down On Frivolity

So far, we have talked about accountability with our time, wellbeing and decisions. Now it’s time we face our personal economies. Before reading further, kindly take some minutes to reflect on how you have managed your finances in the past few months.

I hope you are proud of your findings. One of the girl boss habits you have got to adopt is being responsible with every penny that you get to have. Learn to track your expenses, query your need to buy or spend no matter how much or little money is involved.

The truth is, you can’t outgrow the basics. If you can’t be accountable with your personal finances, how then will you be able to manage that of your organisation? Therefore, try to make sure your expenses are well tracked and your finances are perfectly managed. It’s a great habit to cultivate. That’s what girl bosses do!

8. Have A Defined Use Of Media

Except you are a journalist, PR, blogger or any other media personnel, there is no reason why you should be on the internet 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Even if your work is related to any of the above mentioned, ensure you take time off and have some quiet time to yourself.

TV, the internet and other media platforms are full of noise. There are more negatives than positives on them. Loss of quality of life, lack of privacy, decreased safety and security, and harm to social relations are a few of the negative effects of excessive online presence.

Nevertheless, the internet has made access to information easy. It provides effective communication using emailing and instant messaging services to any part of the world and improves business interactions and transactions, saving on vital time.

Therefore, since they are necessary evils in our daily lives, ensure you strike a balance when it comes to their usage. Know when to withdraw their use and have some quiet to yourself every day.

Don’t be carried away by everything you see online, be mindful of what you watch and subscribe to. For instance, seeing tweets on failed marriages, cheating partners and serial breakups more often will have you subscribe to the “men/women are scum/true love does not exist” kind of banter. A girl boss does not do that.

9. Be Organised

From having a well mapped out schedule and creating a clean workspace in your bedroom/study, to making sure no dirty dishes linger in the sink and tidying up the rest of the house, a girl boss sure knows her way around leading a well organised lifestyle.

No matter how busy and rough your day or week might get, make sure you make time out to draw out schedules for the next day, clean up the house, do the dishes and your laundry and clear out items that are seldom useful to you.

If you’ve got an early morning, ensure your outfit of choice is readily available. It is also noteworthy that our environment has a way of influencing our mental and of course physical health. You can’t expect much productivity in a disorganised environment.

A clumsy place equals a clumsy mind. To have a healthy girl boss lifestyle, ensure there’s no exemption of any of the above mentioned activities. It’s not always so effortless especially when exhaustion and fatigue from previous work and activities sets in.

However, try to make a habit of it. You can even do it alongside something fun like listening to music. That way, it will be less of a chore for you. Nevertheless, if you’re extremely tired or busy, there are a couple of cleaning services that the lady in distress can call to her rescue (only the bills might feel the strain though).

10. Create Time For Reflection

The final girl boss habit to attain a better change in life is reflecting. At the end of each day and every passing week, ensure you do a reflective check on yourself.

It will help you identify how far you’ve come with achieving your purpose, which goals you’re yet to attain, what habit you need to change or emulate and ultimately how to be a better person. Reflection is a great way to help every girl boss strengthen their emotional intelligence, improve their self esteem and confidence.

It will also help you to make better decisions in the future. Surprised at how much having some quiet time alone to think about past actions and events can benefit you? Don’t be! Have a self reflection check today!

Related: 20 Deep Self-Reflection Questions To Ask Yourself

And there you have it, girls. Now it’s time to get your action pants on and be the girl boss you truly are.

Don’t forget to pin & share these awesome girl boss habits!
August 19, 2020
50 Gratitude Journal Prompts To Help You Live Your Dream Life
Being grateful in your daily life can positively change the outlook you have on life. Today we’ll be sharing some gratitude journal prompts that will help you realize all the things you have to be grateful for.

Do you practice gratitude on a daily basis or do you just wait till Thanksgiving day before you express thankfulness for all you’ve got? I hope the former is the case!

But if you are the type that seldom appreciates how far you’ve come and what you have, then it’s time to adjust your focus and learn the art of gratitude.

Now I’m pretty sure you have come across journal prompts. They are simply known as statements or questions designed to inspire or offer you an idea on what to write about.

One of the ways to keep track of one’s life is by journaling. Journaling helps you to actively engage your thoughts and be in touch with your feelings. It boosts your emotional intelligence and strengthens your self discipline. Plus, journaling provides you with a creativity boost and helps you understand yourself better. Pretty great, yeah?

However, not everyone understands how to keep a journal. In fact, most people are oblivious of its benefits and believe it’s for childish individuals. But the reverse is the case!

Nowadays, it’s easy to get lost in the stream of bad media, crazy internet, disheartening news and other forms of negativity. We tend to forget the great things life has given us and focus more on the negative and what is yet to be accomplished.

This often has us wondering, is there anything to be grateful for? Well, a surf through some gratitude journal prompts can answer that. Gratitude journaling simply entails keeping track of things for which one is grateful for. It’s like keeping a diary of the good things and the great experiences you’ve had.

Gratitude journaling will shift your focus from the negatives and help you see things from a brighter and, of course, positive viewpoint. In fact, research on positive psychology has shown that gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness.

Benefits Of Gratitude Journal Prompts

I’m sure you can’t wait to explore the 50 gratitude journal prompts I’ve got in store for you. But before we do, let’s have a quick run-through some of the amazing benefits gratitude journaling has got to offer.
- You become positive minded – Taking out time to put into writing the things you are grateful for will help you on your way to becoming more positive minded. Focusing on the goods things you have and appreciate will help you see life from the positive and optimistic point of view. The more appreciative you choose to be, the more optimistic and positive you become.
- You become happier – Having a diary of things you’re grateful for is one way of living a happy life. Gratitude journal prompts will help you focus more on the good things, be optimistic for better things and ultimately live a happier life.
- Improves your self esteem – Gratitude journaling is a great way to build one’s self esteem. Research has shown that folks who keep daily gratitude journals increase overall gratitude, positivity, enthusiasm, determination and alertness. As you go through each of these gratitude journal prompts, you get to be reminded of your abilities, skills and personal achievements. This will greatly help in building your self confidence.
- Helps to reduce stress – Since gratitude journal prompts are a great way to help you see how far you’ve come and how much you have achieved, they will also help you ease the worry and the anxiety of thinking about what you are yet to have.
You become more appreciative of who you are and less worked up about who you’re not. Also, studies have shown that focusing on feelings of contentment and satisfaction naturally counters stress. So, gratitude journaling will help you counter stress, feel more relaxed and eradicate anxiety.

We can go on and on about the benefits gratitude journaling has got to offer, but guess what? Time is no one’s friend! So what are we waiting for? Let’s get on with it!

Related reads:
Gratitude Journal Prompts:

1. Describe your happiest childhood memory.

2. What popular song do you enjoy most and why do you like it?

3. What is one of your favorite songs from your childhood?

4. Mention that one friend you can always rely on.

5. Write down the biggest accomplishment in your personal life.

6. What is the biggest accomplishment in your professional life?

7. What memory of your father (or stepfather) do you cherish most?

8. What memory of your mother (or stepmother?) do you cherish most?

9. Give a description of your favorite pet (or former pet)? Why was it your favorite?

10. Write out 5 hobbies and activities that bring you joy.

11. What mistake(s) have you made that ultimately led to a positive experience? Write them out.

12. Describe a family tradition that you are most grateful for and why you’re grateful for it.

13. Write out the name(s) of the teacher(s) or mentor(s) that made a remarkable impact on your life and how they have helped you.

14. Write out what you like the most about your town or city and why it’s topping the list of your faves.

15. Describe your favorite spot at home and why you like it.

16. Write down that one thing you have learnt this week that you’re grateful for.

17. Who made you smile in the past 24 hours and why?

18. What recent purchase did you make that has added value to your life?

19. Write out the biggest lesson you learned in childhood.

20. Write out 10 ways you can share your gratitude with other people in the next 24 hours.

21. What is your favorite scent?

22.Describe your favorite sound.

23. Describe your favorite image.

24. Describe your favorite taste.

25. Describe your favorite sensation.

26. What items do you take for granted, which might not be available to people in other parts of the world (i.e. Clean water, electricity, etc.)?

27.Write about a recent time when a stranger did something nice for you.

28. What is the hardest thing you’ve had to do, which led to a major personal accomplishment?

29.What is one aspect of your health that you’re more grateful for?

30. Who can you count on whenever you need someone to talk to and why?

31. Describe the last time you procrastinated on a task that wasn’t as difficult as you thought it would be.

32.What is your favorite habit and why is it an important part of your daily routine?

33. Describe a “perfect day” that you recently had.

34. What is a favorite country that you’ve visited?

35. Describe a funny YouTube video that you recently watched. (If you haven’t, what are you doing on this planet?)

36. List 10 qualities you like about yourself.

37. What is one thing you look forward to enjoying each day after work?

38. What was something you did for the first time recently?

39. What is one lesson you learn from rude people?

40. When was the last time you had a great nap where you awoke feeling fully refreshed?

41. Shower or bath? Which do you prefer and why?

42. Write about a time where you felt courageous.

43. What are a few ways you can appreciate your health whenever you’re sick?

44. What is a great drink that you like to enjoy each day?

46.Who has forgiven you for a mistake you’ve made in the past?

47. List 10 things you have now that you didn’t have 5 years ago.

48. What aspects of your job do you enjoy the most?

49. What is something positive you can learn from one of your negative qualities? (e.g. Being anxious means you’re really good at planning things out.)

50. Describe a recent time when you truly felt at peace.

For You

Trust you had a great time appreciating the amazing things you have? Always remember that gratitude is a powerful tool when it comes to living a fulfilled and content life.

While going through your gratitude journal prompts, always keep in mind that life is not a bed of roses, no one is perfect so don’t expect your answers to be. You’ve come a long way and you are doing just fine, so be grateful for that.

Finally, if you’ve had a bad day and you might want to remind yourself of how great you are doing, going through the 50 journal prompts and some of these gratitude quotes below will be a perfect jump start.

Gratitude Quotes

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.” ― Melody Beattie

“Being thankful is not always experienced as a natural state of existence, we must work at it, akin to a type of strength training for the heart.” ― Larissa Gomez

“We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.” – Thornton Wilder

“Gratitude is the sweetest thing in a seeker’s life – in all human life. If there is gratitude in your heart, then there will be tremendous sweetness in your eyes.” ― Sri Chinmoy

“The more grateful I am, the more beauty I see.” ― Mary Davis

“The deepest craving of human nature is the need to be appreciated.” ― William James

“There is a calmness to a life lived in gratitude, a quiet joy.” ― Ralph H. Blum

“Gratitude is the most exquisite form of courtesy.” ― Jacques Maritain

“The root of joy is gratefulness.” ― David Steindl-Rast

Final Thoughts

The truth is, sometimes we get so clouded by everything that’s not going our way that we just can’t see what is actually working for us. There’s no such thing as a life that’s better than yours! (Okay yeah those are song lyrics but you get it).

You know what’s funny? You might be walking or taking a bus to work complaining that you don’t have a car and you’ve got nothing going for you. Meanwhile, someone else is devastated about losing their job. And then again, someone else would do anything to walk again.

It all boils down to perspective and appreciating the little things. When you do, big things come your way, and only then will you be able to be grateful for those too. So, say a word of thanks today, or better still, journal it!

Please pin & share these gratitude journal prompts!
August 12, 2020
15 Ways To Improve Your Happiness And Enjoy Your Life
There’s always a bluish feeling that comes with pessimism. In an era where everywhere you turn to is filled with pessimism and toxicity, sometimes, it’s hard to look on the bright side. But, it’s very possible! Today I’m sharing some of my top tips on how to improve your happiness and enjoy your life.

Happiness is free! So instead of just trying to avoid negativity or get over the toxicity making rounds, focusing on the positive will be our mainstay.

In light of this, I’ll be sharing some sweet tips on how to increase your happiness. And since the goal is not only to get you excited and lift your spirit for a moment, with the tips enlisted below, I’m optimistic that you’ll stay happy too!

Related reads:
1. Have A Heart Of Gratitude

Cherish and be proud of what you have, as well as the effort you put into things. It’s so easy to get caught up with disappointments we face on a daily basis and welcome pessimism with open arms.

We are not going to do that. Look within you, look around you, there are a lot of things to be grateful for. No matter how little they might be, don’t take those things for granted. It’s alright to want things for yourself and want to work harder to get them but make sure you take a minute or two to be thankful for how far you have come.

When you appreciate the things you have, you’ll worry less about what you don’t have (worry won’t get you anywhere or anything though, just more worries). Less worry is ultimately a great way to improve your happiness.

2. Comparison Is A Killer Of Joy

I can’t emphasize this enough! We are in the age where the world is populated with “social pressures” especially on social media. Everyone seems to be in the happiest relationships and have the best of friends.

Some seem to use the latest gadgets, travel on private jets and wear the latest designer clothes. And here you are with a “stuck in one place” kind of feeling. It’s like the whole world is getting their act together quite well, save you.

Now, don’t be swept off your feet by those things. FACADE is the right word for them. You’re doing just fine, and the less attention you pay to those things, the better you will do. If you want to improve your happiness, be content.

Contentment in this case is not about being content with everything life throws at you. It’s having a sense of satisfaction that when life throws you a lemon, you make a lemonade (not throw the lemon away and sulk).

Never compare yourself to anyone, your goals, aspirations and dreams are different from theirs, let no one set a standard as to how you are to achieve them.

Social media is not your life coach. So have a mind of your own. It comes with great peace, you’ll be happier and at ease with yourself, no pressures, no worries, and this will improve your happiness.

3. Discard The Retail Theorems

Material possessions might get you excited the moment they become yours but they won’t always make you happy. It’s not a bad thing to have money and own things but those things won’t guarantee your happiness.

So rather than spend money on things, you can choose to spend money on experiences. Go to the zoo, go on movie night outs, road trips aren’t a bad idea, there are a lot of amazing places to tour.

These activities won’t just bring happy experiences, they’ll also leave loads of sweet memories to savour during a hectic workday.

4. Don’t Try Too Hard

Doing things (movies, karaoke, games) because you find pleasure in them will go a long way to improve your happiness.

However, there’s a thin line between the things that make you happy and doing things so you’ll be happy. Let me give a clearer picture. If you love going to the movies and watching movies makes you happy, it’s different from going to the movies because you want to be happy.

In the former, it comes naturally, however, an expectation is placed on the latter. Recent research made on psychological sciences has shown that putting too much effort on the search for happiness as if it’s on sale can backfire!

The problem here is expectations, because you tend to focus on the end result (happiness) rather than the activity itself. It’s the same with people who go into relationships because they believe they’ll be happy.

When their expectations are not met, they tend to be thrice as blue as they were before the relationship. Don’t be that person.

5. Work Out

Research and of course every day experiences have shown that exercise is a very effective mood lifter. You don’t necessarily have to hit the gym before you exercise your body. Early morning runs, jogging and even dancing are a good start.

You can even create some space in the living room to stretch your muscles while watching your favourite TV show (I’d recommend 10 squats and 15 bicycle crunches for starters).

No matter how busy your schedule might get, try to make time out for a little work out at least thrice in a week, it’s a pretty great way to improve your happiness.

6. Meditation and reflection

An unstable mind breeds confusion and unhappiness. It’s no news that meditation helps to calm and stabilise our emotional and mental state. Signing up for a yoga class or scheduling 5-15 minutes of self reflection will not only help improve your happiness, it will also give you a sense of direction.

7. A touch of Flexibility won’t hurt

Sometimes, doing the same things and going through the same daily routines can easily get us the blue feeling we dread. Except you’re a die-hard stereotype, sticking with one routine for too long sometimes feels like going round in circles or staying in a box. It can be depressing.

The good news is, you can change that narrative. Adding to and swapping some activities for others on your daily routine could be a great mood booster. If you’re used to doing the laundry in the morning and dishes at night, you could swap one for the other.

Go through your schedule and make some changes today. Be flexible, be happy!

8. You are what you eat

Do you know that there are foods which produce chemicals that influence a person’s mood? Nutritionists recommend food rich in B-12 and folic acid (oatmeal, wheat germs and other fortified cereals).

Studies have shown that these nutrients help the body produce a neurotransmitter called serotonin—a known mood stabilizer. Also, food rich in omega-3 fats such as salmon, sardine, olive oils and walnuts help alleviate depression.

There’s a reason why popcorn is the cliché snack for movies. Chocolates also help a great deal. So you see, the above saying is not just about one’s physical fitness. Ensure you eat well to increase your happiness today.

9. Rest Well, Sleep Enough

We all know that busy schedules could get us crazy hangovers, eye bags and sometimes 3 men banging the heaviest sledge hammers inside our head (yeah, headaches). So, if you don’t get enough sleep and rest, it takes its toll not just on your physical self, but also on your mental wellbeing.

Restlessness always leaves a trail of fatigue, depression and even lack of satisfaction. The human body, mind and soul need enough rest to be more active and function well. So to be rejuvenated and increase your happiness, ensure you get at least 8 hours of sleep daily.

10. Smile

Hey there! Have you smiled today? Whether you are sipping a cocktail drink in Santiago Bay or counting your blessings on a Sunday morning, or getting through a busy schedule, try to wear a smile.

A daily dose of smiling lifts one’s spirit and you’re very likely to make others smile when you do. You see, happiness is free, spread it!

11. Do your favorites

We all like to go to eat our favourite meals, wear our favourite clothes and go to our favourite spot on special occasions.

Yeah, they simply make that occasion special and make us happy. But who says you can’t have a special day everyday? No one? Great. So please do you favourites frequently. Don’t wait for special occasions, be happy now.

12. Invest In Purposeful Leisure

Channelling your time, energy and resources into something you like which is usually not a profession or work will make you happier. Purposeful leisure does contribute to one’s personal development and reflects one’s sense of preference.

For instance, learning a new skill, trying out a new recipe or sport, taking up a freelance job or signing up for a language course. Doing these things increases one’s happiness and when completed, they bring a feeling of satisfaction.

13. Value people that make you happy

Busy schedule or not, quality time with loved ones and friends that inspire us to be happy should not be taken for granted. Spending time with our loved ones is one of the greatest but most underrated ways of increasing one’s happiness.

It is underrated because everyone leads a busy life and people now substitute quality time spent with their loved ones with time spent on social media platforms with strangers thousands of miles away.

Having your loved ones present and engaging in activities together helps create a bond and sense of belonging. It somehow gives us a feeling of safety and assurance that they will always be there for us.

Thinking about this in turn brings satisfaction and happiness. Create time out with friends, enjoy the activities, smile, laugh, embrace their warmth, savour the memories and be happy!

14. Celebrate Good Times

Doing things that give you nostalgic feelings and remind you of sweet memories are a great mood lifter. They help us reminisce on how far we’ve come and somewhat gives a sense of gratitude which ultimately helps in increasing one’s happiness.

Buy scented candles and flowers, look at happy photographs, go to places that remind you of happy memories and think back on positive memories. Indulging the senses goes a long way when it comes to increasing one’s happiness.

15. Offer A Hand

Coming through for others who are in need can increase your happiness a great deal. Rendering a helping hand somewhat makes us appreciate the life we lead and of course there are many ways to go about it.

You can contribute to a community project, walk a pet at animal care, help a coworker fix their computer, be a volunteer teacher at the school for children with special needs or even donate to charity in case you’ve got a really hectic schedule. You will be happy you did.

Bonus: Be purpose driven

Not just doing things but understanding why you do them is another great way to improve your happiness. To be happy, you need to know what you want, how and when you want it. The people who wallow in comparison and are easily swerved by others are those who don’t have a set purpose. They are usually confused and end up being sad and even depressed.

As a purpose driven persona, you set goals and create plans to achieve them. You have a sense of direction, you know what you want and you go for it. You are not confused or under pressure, you are simply content, satisfied and happy!

Final thoughts

Finally, to stay happy, you have to come to the realisation that you cannot have it all your way. Every situation, every thought, every expectation and every action cannot go your way. As humans, we tend to let what we cannot control or change, our pasts and mistakes affect our happiness.

Yes, we could have said and done things differently, but then, it is what it is. We have to move on and learn from the outcome. Remember worrying and anxiety won’t help or provide a solution. In fact, they tend to add more problems.

Happiness, they say, is a product of positivity, so choose to be positive. Rather than beat yourself up over mistakes or get anxious about the future, understanding all these valuable tips and putting them into practice will help a great deal in increasing your happiness.

Please pin & share these tips to improve your happiness!
July 24, 2020
How To Remove Negativity From Your Life And Be Happier
One moment you could be excited, and the next, you’re down and having the worst thoughts ever. This is a common experience for the many of us today, largely due to all the negativity in our immediate surroundings. Social media, friends, colleagues, even family—just about anything and anyone can be the source of negativity. Sad, but that’s the reality we live in. That’s why I’ll share some tips today on how to remove negativity from your life so you can be happier.

It is so important to retreat and deliberately remove negativity from your life! You can even choose to escape from it all for a while. Be it by going offline, or avoiding certain places and people. Whatever the case may be, your mental health is of utmost importance and should not be taken for granted. Never, ever.

If you are facing negativity in your life or something similar, read on as I walk you through some practical tips on how to remove negativity from your life, for good.

1. Identify your areas of negativity

This is the first and most important commandment to remove negativity from your life. This entails pinpointing the reasons you might be a negative thinker in the first instance and the areas of your life that tend to spur negative thoughts.

In order for you to get a solution, you must admit that you have a problem.

You can’t identify these areas if you don’t accept that you have negative thoughts. This requires a quiet time of reflection, so it is best if you put it down on paper. Studies have shown that writing things down tends to reduce stress and increase optimism.

After putting down the possible areas that bring about negative thoughts, you have to change your mindset about them.

2. Focus on the optimistic viewpoint, no matter how small

As there are two sides of a coin, there are also two sides to every situation presented before you—the good and the bad. Find the good aspect of a situation and focus on it.

Change your mindset.

Focus is the key to drifting your mind away from the uncertain “what ifs” to the “what if I can”. In simple terms, what you focus on is what determines it all. For example, if you lost a competition, focus on the knowledge and exposure you have acquired, rather than the “shame” and “lost fame”. This would help relieve the burden of frustration that is likely to sprout.

Related: How To Have An Abundance Mindset: 10 Habits To Cultivate

3. Overcome the fears that hold you back

The main reason you have negative thoughts is because you fear what could happen if you finally decide to act and most times, you get lost in such thoughts.

When faced with such fears, here’s what you should do:

First off, question the negative thought. To remove negativity from your life, you are not burying every negative thought or emotion that pops up in your mind, neither are you avoiding difficult fallings.

They should be faced upfront and questioned. These questions would give you a reality check and bring you up to a positively inclined perspective.

For example, often ask yourself this question; “What is the worst that could happen?”

Most times, if not all, the worst thing that could happen in reality is not as bad as what you imagine it to be. Understanding this fact will help you take action and of course, go a step further in a bid to remove negative thoughts from your life.

4. Do not dwell on past mistakes

This can be done in two ways:

i) Let go of past mistakes

Mistakes from past experiences shouldn’t be the basis of judgment for future occurrences. Most people tend to hold on to their past mistakes and use them to compare with their present or yet to come opportunities, making them think negatively and be reluctant to take action.

ii) Learn from past mistakes

It is one thing to let go of previous mistakes and another thing to learn from them. Learn to take previous failures and turn the next opportunity into success. Let it be a source of motivation for you, rather than it forming a bundle of negative thoughts in your mind.

Take responsibility for your actions. This will help you own up to your mistakes whenever you encounter any problem in life and overcome the fears that may want to prevent you from taking that big step you have been desiring to take.

Acknowledging your mistakes will also help you learn from them!

Where there are failures and disappointments in the previous project, shake them off. Thomas Edison had to try his experiment on the light bulb 1000 times, all of which were failures except the last trial, which was a success.

Push on. There are always lessons to be learned when failure comes. It is either you are stagnant or you learn and be better. This is one of the most effective ways to remove negativity from your life.

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5. Take it one step at a time

Do not try to go too fast. Steady and slow eases stress. If you try to take on too much at a time, it might be overwhelming, and negative thoughts on just about anything might start to well up.

Taking things one after the other calms your mind and body, making it easier to think things through and find the optimistic perspective of any and every situation. Stay healthy. Take good care of yourself and only then would you be able to think positively about any situation.

Sleeping well, eating well and exercising daily will give you fewer reasons to have negative thoughts and more reasons to be grateful (am I right, or am I right?).

6. Never compare yourself with others

Ah, the golden rule. This is something natural for all humans. We tend to compare ourselves and then get depressed about it, especially when we are on the “not good enough” end.

Some people might seem to have the perfect life, job, spouse, family, or something you desire but can’t have yet, and this causes you to think about all that you haven’t achieved or a previous mistake you made.

Whatever the case may be, always remember that all fingers aren’t equal (cliché, but please permit me). You don’t know how long it took to get to that level, what, and how they got to that stage nor the pain and suffering they endured just to attain that status. So, there isn’t any need to get jealous over them or immerse yourself in overwhelming negative thoughts. Be yourself and work hard at what you do. Doing this will make it easier for you to remove negativity from your life.

7. Start your day in a positive way

How you start your day is very important. This could be done in ways such as:

i) Performing Activities

Take some time out in the morning to do things that keep you calm. You could pray, read a novel, do some exercises, listen to soothing music—anything that keeps you cool-headed.

ii) Self Affirmations

These are positive statements that are said repeatedly, often daily. Research suggests that repeated actions program the mind to be inclined in that direction. So, the more these affirmations are said, the more the mind works toward that direction. Choose affirmations that are personally meaningful to you. The affirmations can be “I am the best”, “I am beautiful”, “I refuse to have negative thoughts today”, “I have peace of mind”, and so on.

Doing these things will give you a positive boost for your day because how you start your morning usually goes a long way in setting the tone for the rest of your day.

Related: Top 10 Morning Habits To Supercharge Your Day With Positivity

8. Create time for leisure

Here, you can do whatever you love. As simple as it may seem, it can be the hardest because of that project deadline you have to meet up with or your tight schedule which you must follow to the end.

In all these, try to create time for that which you love to do. When you do something you love, you are distracted from feeling sad or having negative thoughts!

9. Spend your time with positive people

There is a common saying that goes: “Show me your friend and I will tell you who you are”. This implies a lot in positive thinking. Negativity and positivity are contagious. The people you spend your time with should be handpicked by you because you are in a transformation phase.

Negative energy can send you tumbling back to scratch and I am pretty sure you don’t want that to happen. The people you spend your time with should be people who are cheerful, humorous, and those who can help bring you out even when it seems you are slipping back into negative thoughts.

Being around positive-minded people has been shown to improve self-esteem as well as increase one’s chances of achieving goals. Surround yourself with people who can uplift you and remove negative thoughts from your life.

10. Bring positivity into the life of someone else

Putting smiles on people’s faces can do you more good than it will do them. It will help you get out of your head and any negative thought that is sprouting. It also boosts your self-confidence and self-esteem. By giving you a sense of accomplishment, you are provided with the necessary mind power to take actions without having negative thoughts.

How do you do this?

Be kind to others; you could buy lunch for a friend, give a heartfelt compliment on their clothes or style.

Give a listening ear; a friend might just need someone to listen to his venting. Just listen and try helping out either with advice or just a consolation.

Contribute your quota to your society. When you can focus on what you have to give to your society, you will feel good about what you have. You could donate to an orphanage home or the construction of a school building.

This and many more you can do to shift your concentration whenever you see that you are slipping back into negative thinking.

11. Let out your feelings

At the end of your day, it will do you good to write down every unpleasant situation that occurred during the day. This will get it off your mind, preventing any kind of negative thoughts and as well give you a good night’s rest. Sounds like a win-win if you ask me.

12. Understand that your positivity lies within you

Do not rely on any external factor, whether a person or otherwise, to make you happy or spur your positivity. Remember that no one owes you anything. Yes, they might make you happy sometimes but it might not go that way every single time. So, you must understand that only you have the power to focus your mind on being positive.

With this mindset, you won’t be hurt whether things go according to your expectations or not.

Final thoughts

Finally, to reiterate, the key to having a positive mindset is first of all accepting that you have negative thoughts. Focus on the renewal of your mindset, see every situation in a positive light as much as you can and you will discover that your consequences, in reality, are not as bad as what you imagined them to be.

Try as much as possible never to dwell on your mistakes. Do not use your past mistakes to judge present or future opportunities. Do not try to take too much at a time. Take breaks in between tasks.

Stay healthy. Eat, sleep well, exercise daily, and make sure you hydrate yourself to avoid unnecessary weakness and illness. Also, spend your time around positive people who can lift your mood. Bring positivity into the life of other people too by helping out and being kind to them.

Make sure you don’t bottle up your feelings. Let it out by writing it down or talking to a close friend about it. Above all, you must understand that your positivity lies within you. Do not rely on anyone to spur your positivity.

Removing negativity from your life has several benefits, including higher energy levels and a better outlook on life! This will lower the tendency for you to fall into depression, thereby making you live your life to the fullest while learning and re-learning from the situations life throws at you.

Related reads:
Don’t forget to pin & share these tips on how to remove negativity from your life!

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July 13, 2020
How To Be Happy In Life Despite Your Circumstances
The truth is, everyone wants to be happy. That’s why we do all we can to discover the means to be happy. But happiness is a choice. Today I’ll share some tips on how to be happy in life no matter where you find yourself in your life journey.

We are wrong about many things we believe about happiness. Most of the places we go, or the things we do, or even the ideas we buy do not guarantee happiness.

For instance, we all want to be successful in everything we do, in order to be happy. But in reality, we just CAN’T be successful in every aspect of life… There are so many attempts we make that are bound to fail. For that reason, we fail to find happiness in our quest for success!

Moreover, many of us also chase money by virtually every means all in the hope of finding true happiness in it. Yes, we become happier with the more money we make but such happiness is usually short-lived because;
- While we make money, we also lose money every day and that doesn’t bring happiness.
- Even when we keep making money, there are problems money doesn’t solve. In that case, nothing like happiness.
- Money brings you comfort but also makes you uncomfortable because you will be worried about how to ensure you never go broke again. Research has it that rich people have sleepless nights more than average people. Now, does that depict happiness?
- Nobody is seemingly satisfied with the amount he has. The more money you make, the more you want. You can’t call this happiness!
Besides the ill sides of money, there are many other reasons why you are simply wrong to think that money or success bring true happiness… Because true happiness is not short-lived. It is not a destination, it is also not a permanent state of feeling good. Happiness is not materialistic.

How to be happy in life

With all that said above, what then is happiness?

To explain this, I would simply say that happiness is when you are content with yourself and your life. Happiness is when you choose to be happy even amidst difficulties.

Moreover, in order to have real happiness, you have to intentionally make efforts to address all the areas of your life that can trigger your feelings and emotions.

Now, that brings us to how to be happy in life despite the circumstances you find yourself… Are you ready? Let’s go!

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Practice Gratitude

More often than not, people insinuate that they will be happy if they acquire something or if a certain thing happens. Unfortunately, that is not the case because happiness doesn’t depend on material or immaterial things.

Have you ever heard that happiness is bought?

Nah, it can’t be!

Sure, when something pleasant is added to your life, you’re bound to be happy about it. But the question is, will such happiness be sustained?

The only way you can acquire sustainable joy is when you are grateful for the things you’ve got already and stay content with them. This way, you’ll realize that those material things are not essential for your happiness. Hence, your source of happiness will become innate.

Now, let’s be practical;

Think about those things you really desire to have… The fact that you don’t have them is enough to make you unhappy. But also, think about what you already have at hand that you are grateful for, I’m sure that makes you happier?

That’s exactly what the power of gratitude is all about. A grateful man is a happier man but a man whose happiness depends on obtaining more has a greater tendency to be sad. Because there is no guarantee that you’d get all you want in life! At least, not without working towards it.

Do Away With Negative Thoughts

We are all familiar with those waves of negative thoughts or emotions that run across our minds at times…

Now, note this; such emotions or thoughts are the greatest enemies of a happy life! Once you can deal with them, then your happiness is assured!

It might interest you to know that negative thoughts are inescapable as long as life is concerned. It’s normal to have such moments. However, you don’t have to give it room to linger for long. You must learn how to deal with it if you must be happy.

Harbouring any negative thought or emotion for long will definitely affect how you act and feel over time. Of course, you don’t want this.

Walk Away From Toxic Relationships

Sometimes, the people you hang around with can influence your emotions. They play a big role in your happiness or sadness. Do you doubt that?

Okay, how do you feel after spending time with your friends or colleagues who have negative things to say about you? Pretty hurt, I guess. Compare that to the feeling you get when you are around those who have words of motivation and encouragement to offer you. Uplifting, yes?

That’s exactly why you have to be careful about who you let into your circle!

Sure, in life, you will have different kinds of people interacting with you at different times, however, you must be smart enough to know what’s good for you. Remember, it’s all about your happiness.

Therefore, don’t hesitate to walk away from that toxic relationship. That’s exactly how to be happy in life!

Practice Self Love

There is no way you can stay happy if you don’t love yourself, because true happiness stems from love. And if you must exhibit love generally, you must start by loving yourself. If you’re of the mindset that you’re not good enough, then you have to start giving yourself some credit. If you can’t, who then do you expect to appreciate you the way you deserve?

As a matter of fact, in order to learn how to be happy in life, you must start by being happy with who you are. Treat yourself with love, just like you want others to treat you!

It’s not selfish to love yourself, it’s just a way to set an example to others on how they should treat you. If you fail to love yourself unconditionally, there is no way you’ll find true happiness from any other source.

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Be Yourself

We all have our uniqueness and peculiarities, and for that, we have to be ourselves the best way we can.

It really doesn’t matter if you agree with me on this, but nobody is perfect. While you sit and watch someone else who seems to be too good, always have in mind that such a person has his or her own downside.

Having that in mind, you must learn how to be yourself and not someone else. Know who you are and become better at whatever you do. Be the best version of yourself because that’s what self-actualization entails.

One way to start practicing this is to learn how to focus on you and not others. Don’t always feel the need to impress others. Rather, you should be more concerned about being you, getting better, and living authentically.

Related: How To Stop Worrying What Others Think And Live Your Own Life

Discover Your Purpose

One of the best ways to discover how to be happy in life is to find out your life’s purpose.

As far as life is concerned, there are certain capacities inside us that need to be unlocked. In other words, there are lots of potentials you must explore. And unless you unlock those capacities and discover those potentials, then you can’t boldly say that you’ve found your purpose on earth.

For instance, you might have certain activities you’re passionate about (things that give you joy and the sense of fulfilment once you do them); be it writing, singing, sport, teaching, etc. Those are probably in line with your purpose in life.

Once you are unhappy at your place of work, then there is a big possibility you’re in the wrong place. No one is unhappy if what he/she is doing is the exact purpose of their existence!

There is this genuine happiness that comes with doing what you love to do. When you find out that you are living your purpose on earth, it brings an unending satisfaction.

However, remember that your purpose doesn’t have to be narrowed down to a particular thing. They can be as many as whatever you do that give you peace of mind.

Render Help To Others

There is a popular notion which points out that we rise when we lift other people. Similarly, when you render help, you will be happier.

Your question now might be; how will “helping others” make me happy?

Here is how it works:

When you help others by giving them your time, resources, or care, it definitely makes them happy. And they will appreciate you. You will feel great when people appreciate your kind gestures.

But mind you, helping others doesn’t mean you should be a people-pleaser. After all, you are only helping them out of your own magnanimity, not because you are compelled to do so.

When it becomes part of you to help others, your confidence keeps growing with every problem you solve. It gives you that awesome feeling of being useful. And hence, as a habitual helper, your happiness and satisfaction in life will be habitual as well.

Makes sense, right?

Adopt A Healthy Lifestyle

Surely, there are ways of life, habits, attitudes, or behaviours that will definitely not encourage a happy life. For instance, when you encounter one of those normal sad moments in life and decide to cure it with alcohol, that’s a good way to damage yourself slowly (especially when you make it a habit).

For the record, abusing alcohol (or other hard drugs) as a remedy for sadness has been found to be the major cause of domestic violence, depression, and even suicide!

If you really want to deal with those hard times, you can listen to music, read certain books that can uplift you, engage in certain exercises or physical activities and so much more. Such are healthy lifestyles for you.

Similarly, another healthy activity you should consider initiating is sleeping enough. It’s very unhealthy for you to deprive yourself of sleep. When you sleep between 6 to 8 hours every night, you will wake up happier and stronger the next morning.

To add to this, you must also eat healthily. Ration your dietary and nutritional intake. Excessive calories (fats and carbohydrates) aren’t good for your health. Copy that?

Experts suggest instead that adding more fruits and veggies to your diet will make you stronger. Moreover, ensure your diet is quite balanced! Remember, a healthy lifestyle will keep you physically and mentally strong and of course, that’s a pretty straightforward way to be happy in life.

Learn To Let Go

Sometimes holding on to things that are needless can make you an unhappy fellow. Learn to let go of certain things you obviously can’t change. You will be happier and relieved:
- Let go of fear and anxiety.
- Learn to let go of resentment and regrets.
- Let go of uncertainties and doubts.
- Avoid comparisons. Your life isn’t their life!
- Forget the past and be more focused on the present and the future.
By letting go, I can assure you that you’ll feel better as a person.

Meditate Often

One of the wisest men that ever lived once suggested that an unexamined life isn’t worth it. According to him, to live such a life is vain. And yep, I agree with him. In order to live a meaningful life, you need to create time to reflect and ponder.

The question now is, how will meditation make you happy?

Well, when you meditate, you condition your brain to enter a peaceful mode and hence, your worries will be reduced. This is because, through meditation, you will be calm enough to connect to yourself and become more aware of yourself.

It might interest you to know that self-awareness gives you the opportunity to understand your individuality better. Of course, that’s exactly what you need to be happy in life.

Final thoughts

Everything you’ve learned so far is very vital for a happy life. However, you need to always bear in mind that happiness is nothing but a choice. Therefore, in order to experience sustainable happiness in life, the basic step you must take is to DECIDE to be happy, regardless of your circumstances.

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July 10, 2020